Twist, twist... TWIST A WISH GAME!

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Original poster
If you have watched Wishmaster, you'd know the Djinn.

This is a fun classic game where I wish for something, and you corrupt that wish by granting my wish in a twisted way.

i.e. -
Me: I wish for a flying car.

Person B: Granted, a flying car drops down on you, killing you instantly.

Then you make another wish for the next poster to corrupt. Now, a simple, classic wish:

I wish to be immortal.
Granted, But you'll still age.

I wish for interplanetary travel.
Granted, but you arrived on the sun. Hope you like eternal Summer.

I wish for world peace. =D
Granted, nothing attacks anything else. Carnivores die of starvation and herbivores multiply rapidly and wipe out all vegetation causing CO2 level to rise to lethal levels.

I wish for happiness.
Granted, but everyone around you will be miserable and eventually kill themselves

I wish for beer.
Granted, but it's warm beer, boiled and hot. It's healthier that way, though. <_<

I wish to have the longest name in the entire Iwaku community.
Granted, but it's weight will crush your body and cause you to get banned

I wish for a cold beer
Granted, but its frozen so solid you'll never get a drop.

I wish for the meaning of life.
Granted, you get the Disturbed song "Meaning of life" on a continous loop O_o but its made into a country version and sang by the worst group ever in the history of mankind.....and you can

Granted, but they tear your body to shreds the moment you touch them.

I wish for a slavegirl i can keep on a chain.
Granted, Slave girl is your great aunt.

I wish for pizza.
Granted, but its anchovies topping are live piranhas, making you the special delivery instead.

I wish for a pet Utahraptor that would obey me for the rest of my life.
Granted, but it murders everyone when you aren't looking.
Granted. You gain nothing. :P

I wish for a conversation that I could participate in for the rest of my life.
Granted, but your ears bleed from the excessive volume

I wish for World Domination
Granted, but the world is now a nuclear wasteland with no survivors. You'll be the last to die, to radiation poisoning.

I wish that women wanted me at first sight
Right, but they all have teeth in their vaginas

I wish that my beer wasn't trying to kill me.
Granted, but now, you go into an obsessive rage to kill your beer, pursuing it for the rest of your life till you die, having a meaningless life.

I wish for a bestfriend. :/
Granted. Here is a volleyball named Wilson.

I wish for a flying surfboard!
Granded, but you're forced to be alone, wandering the universe never to come home

I wish for boobs