Trouble with... Relationships?

Discussion in 'THREAD ARCHIVES' started by Summer Nights, Apr 27, 2016.

?

Am I being ridiculous?

  1. Hell yeah!

    2 vote(s)
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  2. Hell naw!

    0 vote(s)
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  3. Meh.......

    0 vote(s)
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  4. I DON'T KNOW?!

    0 vote(s)
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  5. Other (Comment down below~~~~)

    0 vote(s)
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  1. I'm going to keep this short, because... I am crushed on time (people just got home, so it's sort of annoying right now.)

    The first thing, is that I have just had my first "skype" reveal, so to speak. I have been talking to this guy, and we both expressed that we would like to start dating, but it comes to find out: I F-Ing hate... well, him. Talking to him on the computer was fine, but as soon as we started video chatting, I felt like he opened a can of "Zap, now you're gay!"​

    Don't get me wrong. I understand that there are feminine guys, and that there are masculine guys. I myself fall somewhere closer to the former. However, to suddenly think of someone as more masculine than you, then suddenly have them break out and go from nerdy gamer, to drama queen (yes, I'm talking about theatre) in less than 60 seconds in a skype call, I am lost for words. I tried not to be rude, but I really couldn't... connect with him, so to speak.

    However, this has put me in an odd place, as I am not sure what I should do... Should I tell him that I would rather me and him go our own ways, or should I give him a few more chances and hope that he grows on me?

    --- --- ---​

    My second part of this advice wanted, is about relationships... well, in general.

    The last time that I came to this part of Iwaku, I came to talk about this very topic. I was VERY dramatic about it, however, and I over exaggerated for the most part.

    To anyone who saw my first post in this side of Iwaku: I was wrong, but I predicted the future!

    To those who are all like "What the fudge is he talking about?" Well, I'm talking about the fact that:

    - I have lost all of my friends, since they DO NOT want to respond to me.

    - I have lost all connections with romantic interests (aside from the guy in the above)

    - I feel that pushing people away isn't good, however; I feel like everyone else is doing it to me anyways.

    So... I suppose that I'm looking for help on how to reach out to my contacts? And before you say anything, I KNOW that they see my messages, and I KNOW that they are ignoring them. I don't spam them: I only send one message every other day that they're online, just to make sure that they are safe and stuff.
     
  2. As for the first topic at least: I do think you're being incredibly shallow. A person's interests have nothing to do with their sexuality, and, if you really like the guy, then I don't know why him being into stereotypically feminine things should ruin that for you. However, I also don't think you should force yourself to stay in a relationship with someone if you don't feel any romantic attraction towards them, so... I guess you'll just have to think about how much this matters to you. If you really like the guy then this shouldn't be an issue -- but if him being into theatre is all it took to turn you away... were you really very into him in the first place?

    At the end of the day, it doesn't make sense to be in a relationship with a guy you don't like. So I guess you just have to sit down and think about whether or not you really like him.
     
  3. I agree with @Kaga-kun .

    Here's the thing. You're overthinking the situation. Either you enjoy being with said person and want to be around them or you don't. Clearly, your feelings are that he irritates you. The answer should be obvious. Maybe you're asking us here to get reassurance? You need to make you happy. It sounds like you already made your decision.

    As for the second part. I'm going to make this really short and to the point.

    Move on.

    That's my advice. For whatever reason, your contacts no longer want to interact with you. I don't know you so I have no input as to why this might be. But for whatever the reason they are making themselves happy. You need to move on from them and meet some new people. Not easy I know. But you gotta do what you gotta do.
     
  4. Sometimes the voice in our heads when we read a person's writing doesn't match with their actual voice.
    You're not the first person to experience this and be thrown through a loop, and you probably won't be the last.

    The best thing to do is to ignore your idea of who you think they are and keep chatting for a while to find out who they really are. You were drawn to this person for a reason and none of who they are has actually changed, only the filter through which you see them. Give it some more time to adjust to the new communication method. Nothing says you have to jump in with both feet or bolt the other way right off the bat.

    If you still continue to feel your relationship should remain only a friendship (or something else) that choice is entirely up to you, but do them the courtesy of talking to them about it.
     
  5. I kind of agree with eveyone here, and if it makes you feel better I was in a situation just like that. I was talking to this person for a while and things were getting really great. Then we decided to meet face to face and honestly I really enjoyed this person's company but when we were finally together I honestly had no interest in the person. Yet, that happens, talking over type is very different than face to face, and well if you aren't emotinally in it than no need to waste your time on something you really don't want to put time and effort in cause in the end it just going to make it harder for you to end it in the future. Also, make it harder on the person, which isn't really fair to them either to lead them on that something is going to get better between you two for them to have the rude awakening of, "this isn't going to work out".

    As for the second....

    People come and go, its a part of life, its kind of like what @Hope said, just gotta stand up and find new people who are willing to stick around. Honestly trying to find a friend that is willing to stick around during the hard times. Well it's not as easy as it sounds, at 26, I can honestly say I only have 2 friends that i know will always stick by my side. *shrugs* Really the only two people trust with my life, and it wasn't easy to find them. You just have to stay postivive and really just keep your head up and hopes you find your Trent and Krin.

    Hope everything works out for you
     
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