- Invitation Status
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- Slow As Molasses
- Preferred Character Gender
- No Preferences
I got bored while the forum was down.
10.) Kabuto > Kabutops
Ok, so, you look at Kabuto and you think, "it's a small, simple-looking fossil thing that has tiny little claws underneath but other than that it looks almost harmless."
But then you look at Kabutops and it's like "woAH THERE FRIEND"
I feel like there should be some sort of middle evolution here, because we went from a cute little trilobite to Badass McScytheArms way too quickly — especially compared to the Omanyte/Omastar line, which was like, "eh, we made it spikier and gave it more teeth, but other than that it's basically the same thing"
I know this evolution line isn't that weird, but hey, we're only at #10.
9.) Psyduck > Golduck
This is another one where the 2nd stage looks really far removed from the first, but that's actually not my main complaint about it. Instead, it's really the names that get me.
Why is the gold-colored duck named "Psyduck", while the non-gold-colored duck with advanced psychic powers is called "Golduck"?
8.) Dratini > Dragonair > Dragonite
Ok, I know I'm far from the first person to point this out, but, what the fuck happened between Dragonair and Dragonite?
What happened to that slender, majestic form that they were building up? What happened to the gem thingies on its chin and tail? What happened to the wing-shaped ears? Why did it turn yellow?
7.) Inkay > Malamar
I actually don't have any issues with the designs on these. I just can't get over the fact that the evolution is triggered by holding your 3DS upside-down.
6.) Geodude > Graveller > Golem
Whu… What happened to all those extra arms? And why are all your limbs so stubby now? Why is your head shape completely different? Wait, no, scratch that last question — why do you even have a proper head, when the previous two stages just had their faces on their torsos? Where did the turtle-esque shell look come from?? I have questions.
5.) Larvitar > Pupitar > Tyranitar
Why… does a dragon… need… a pupa stage.
I mean, ok, the Larvitar line technically isn't dragon-type, but it does look like it should be a dragon-type (or at least Larvitar and Tyranitar give that impression) and I'm pretty sure I mistakenly assumed it was a dragon-type as a kid, so I'm going to treat it like one.
In any case, why does there need to be a pupa stage? I guess even the name "Larvitar" supports the notion of a pupa stage, since "Larvitar" has "larva" in it — but it… doesn't look like a larva. It just looks like a baby version of the badass dinosaur/dragon/whatever-the-fuck Tyranitar. And isn't the point of a pupa stage in the life cycle of actual insects supposed to be, like, metamorphosis? One creature turning into something that looks very different than what it looked like before? Like a caterpillar turning into a butterfly? Because, that's not what happens here. You could've just made a middle evolution that looked about half-way between Larvitar and Tyranitar and I wouldn't have asked any questions. Having a pupa stage doesn't even serve a purpose, here. And it's just… kind of dumb-looking. I would've liked to have a middle stage that actually looked like a middle-stage between the two, but throwing Pupitar in there just feels like a waste of potential.
4.) Pineco > Forretress
Nothing about these pokemon looks even remotely similar.
Like, I guess they both have an overall compact and heavily-armored body type, but… that's where the similarities end. I don't know how one set of body parts was supposed to turn into the other. Pineco is a pinecone, and Forretress is… actually, I have no idea what kind of creature that's supposed to be, but it reminds me more of an oyster or maybe even an insect of some kind, not a pinecone. I don't know why this is even an evolution line.
3.) Bagon > Shelgon > Salamence
??? IS THERE SOMETHING IN JAPANESE DRAGON LORE ABOUT YOUNG DRAGONS TURNING INTO COCOONS AND EMERGING AS LARGER DRAGONS THAT I SHOULD KNOW ABOUT???
Like, fuck, at least Pupitar had Tyranitar's spikes. There was at least some connection between the middle stage and the final stage. But nothing about Shelgon resembles any part of Salamence (except for maybe the pattern on Salamance's belly looking similar to Shelgon's shell, but like, come on). And not only that, but, Pupitar might've actually been a decent-looking pokemon if it was part of a different evolution line (or maybe just a stand-alone pokemon) instead of mucking up an otherwise really great evolution line, but Shelgon is just… a shell. A very plain-looking shell, with generic eyes and stubby legs.
Yawn.
And, like, ok, Bagon's whole thing is that it really wants to be able to fly, and that's why it eventually becomes a big, winged dragon. And I guess you could liken that to a caterpillar wanting to be a butterfly, but… eh. I really just don't think that a lame cocoon middle stage is really necessary, especially not when we could've had a cool juvenile dragon-thing that actually looked like the half-way point between Bagon and Salamence. I don't even care if the middle stage was still completely wingless and it didn't get any wings at all until it became Salamence. They already did that with the Charmander line, and, honestly, I don't really mind that, either. And, similarly to Larvitar and Tyranitar, the beginning and end stages already look similar enough that it really can't be that difficult to imagine what the middle stage would look like if it was just a linear progression from one thing to the other. Why did this evolution line need a boring pupa stage?? WE COULD'VE HAD SOMETHING SO MUCH BETTER.
2.) Trapinch > Vibrava > Flygon
What the fuck happened here?
I mean, the Vibrava > Flygon part is reasonable enough. I'll give that a pass. It's Trapinch that I'm concerned about.
If you had never seen this evolution line before, but you saw Trapinch's design, and knew that it evolved into something — what would you expect from those evolutions? Surely you would expect it to keep up the whole desert-dwelling aesthetic and definitely that whole pincer/beartrap mouth thing, right? Perhaps it would evolve into a big crustacean sort of thing, with huge claws similar to the one that it has for a mouth in this stage?
NOPE, DRAGON BUGS.
Literally nothing about Trapinch's design carries over into Vibrava. Not even its giant, trap-y head — its most important feature — is referenced at all in Vibrava's design. I remember really wanting a Flygon as a kid ever since I saw it in the Jirachi: Wish-Maker movie, but I had no idea how to get one in the games. I honestly don't remember when I was actually made aware of the fact that Trapinch eventually evolves into it, but you can't blame me for not figuring that out on my own. It isn't quite as intuitive as some other evolution lines.
Really the only thing connecting Trapinch to Vibrava and Flygon is that Vibrava and Flygon are still both part-ground type in addition to being dragon-type. But, aside from the superficial connection to Trapinch… why are Vibrava and Flygon ground-type? Like I said, they look like dragon-bugs. Vibrava especially looks more like a bug than a dragon at that point. They should both be bug/dragon. Vibrava I could've accepted as a ground-type, if you want to look at it as a ground-dwelling insect, one that lives in the desert or something (although you would have to knock out the dragon-type to make room for it). And Flygon… what the fuck does Flygon even have to do with the ground? It even has fly in its name. It would make a better flying-type than a ground-type (although dragon and bug are still both more fitting). Actually, wait a minute — "fly" could also just be seen as a reference to the insect. It's name is literally just a combination of "fly"(insect) and "dragon". So when it's very name is telling you that it should be dragon/bug, you've made a mistake in not giving it that typing.
Now, before I get to #1, here are a few honorable mentions:
Weedle > Kakuna > Beedrill
Can someone please explain to me why a caterpillar turns into a bee? I assumed Weedle was going to turn into a moth when I first started playing the game as a kid. I mean, if you have two caterpillar pokemon at roughly the same point in the game, and one of them turns into a butterfly, then a moth counterpart just made the most sense to me. But no, it's… it's a bee. Or maybe Beedrill is technically more of a wasp? Eh, it still doesn't make sense either way.
Abra > Kadabra > Alakazam
Abra = decently-sized tail. Kadabra = enormous tail that's probably bigger than the rest of its entire body. Alakazam = NO TAIL WHATSOEVER. Where did it go??? Why did you build the tail up so much during the middle stage if it was just going to disappear all at once afterwards??
Squirtle > Wartortle > Blastoise
Another case of my-tail-gets-increasingly-bigger-and-more-important-and-then-oh-wait-it's-gone-all-of-a-sudden. Sure, Blastoise technically does have a small tail, but it looks completely different even from Squirtle's tail. And unlike Kadabra's massive tail — which was big but didn't actually carry any significance to the creature's lore — Wartortle has several pokedex entries about how its fluffy tail represents the wisdom that it acquires as it ages. But then with Blastoise it's just… gone. No fluffy wisdom tail for Blastoise, I guess.
AND THE MOST RIDICULOUS POKEMON EVOLUTION LINE (and the one that inspired me to create this list in the first place) IS…
1.) Remoraid > Octillery
What the fuck is this bullshit.
Nothing about these two pokemon is even remotely similar, except for maybe their eyes — but the eyes on both of them are generic-enough that I feel like I can't really count it. These are two completely separate aquatic pokemon that were just smooshed together for… some reason.
And, yeah, there are a lot of evolution lines on this list that are probably the result of Gamefreak making evolution lines out of pokemon that previously weren't meant to be related to each other, and then not changing the pokemon's designs to account for that. Like, Vibrava and Flygon were probably not related to Trapinch to begin with (and probably were bug-type originally). Pineco and Forretress might not have been related at first. Golem and Dragonite were quite possibly stand-alone pokemon to begin with. Etc. But at least I can understand why there was an attempt at connecting some of these originally-unrelated pokemon together, even if I wish that their designs had been altered a bit to make the connection more clear. I don't think there's anything you could've done to make Trapinch fit into Vibrava and Flygon's line (in fact, changing Vibrava and Flygon to ground type really just made everything worse), but at least that's just a blemish on an otherwise good evolution line. And I guess they wanted all their cool dragon-types to be part of three-stage evolutions, which is why they felt pressured to throw another pokemon into the mix somehow (or at least, that's my theory).
But there is no reason why Remoraid and Octillery had to be linked together. Maybe they were worried that Remoraid would be too weak and pointless without an evolution? If that's really the case then design an actual evolution for it, or just buff it up and let it be a stand-alone. Octillery is strong enough on its own that it could've been a perfectly-decent stand-alone aquatic pokemon. It didn't need a pre-evolution. Especially one that isn't related to it at all. A remora has no reason to evolve into an octopus, what the fuck.
*sigh* At least everything on this list still makes more sense than most of Digimon's evolution lines.
AND SPEAKING OF POKEMON THINGS THAT DON'T MAKE ANY SENSE: I was recently made aware of the fact that Gamefreak actually has official color classifications for pokemon, with many of them landing in a color category that they just don't belong in at all. For example: Snorlax is black, and Dragonite is brown. Ok, sure. Like, it would be one thing if they were just forced to split hairs and classify pokemon into colors that most would argue isn't quite accurate, but you can still understand why they went with it (like the Charmander line being classified as red, especially since apparently there is no orange category). But that's not quite the same as classifying Dialga as "white" when it definitely isn't. I'm not going to go over each oddly-classified pokemon individually, I just wanted to link you all to this so you could take a look at Gamefreak's color-blindness for yourself. :P
10.) Kabuto > Kabutops
Ok, so, you look at Kabuto and you think, "it's a small, simple-looking fossil thing that has tiny little claws underneath but other than that it looks almost harmless."
But then you look at Kabutops and it's like "woAH THERE FRIEND"
I feel like there should be some sort of middle evolution here, because we went from a cute little trilobite to Badass McScytheArms way too quickly — especially compared to the Omanyte/Omastar line, which was like, "eh, we made it spikier and gave it more teeth, but other than that it's basically the same thing"
I know this evolution line isn't that weird, but hey, we're only at #10.
9.) Psyduck > Golduck
This is another one where the 2nd stage looks really far removed from the first, but that's actually not my main complaint about it. Instead, it's really the names that get me.
Why is the gold-colored duck named "Psyduck", while the non-gold-colored duck with advanced psychic powers is called "Golduck"?
8.) Dratini > Dragonair > Dragonite
Ok, I know I'm far from the first person to point this out, but, what the fuck happened between Dragonair and Dragonite?
What happened to that slender, majestic form that they were building up? What happened to the gem thingies on its chin and tail? What happened to the wing-shaped ears? Why did it turn yellow?
7.) Inkay > Malamar
I actually don't have any issues with the designs on these. I just can't get over the fact that the evolution is triggered by holding your 3DS upside-down.
6.) Geodude > Graveller > Golem
Whu… What happened to all those extra arms? And why are all your limbs so stubby now? Why is your head shape completely different? Wait, no, scratch that last question — why do you even have a proper head, when the previous two stages just had their faces on their torsos? Where did the turtle-esque shell look come from?? I have questions.
5.) Larvitar > Pupitar > Tyranitar
Why… does a dragon… need… a pupa stage.
I mean, ok, the Larvitar line technically isn't dragon-type, but it does look like it should be a dragon-type (or at least Larvitar and Tyranitar give that impression) and I'm pretty sure I mistakenly assumed it was a dragon-type as a kid, so I'm going to treat it like one.
In any case, why does there need to be a pupa stage? I guess even the name "Larvitar" supports the notion of a pupa stage, since "Larvitar" has "larva" in it — but it… doesn't look like a larva. It just looks like a baby version of the badass dinosaur/dragon/whatever-the-fuck Tyranitar. And isn't the point of a pupa stage in the life cycle of actual insects supposed to be, like, metamorphosis? One creature turning into something that looks very different than what it looked like before? Like a caterpillar turning into a butterfly? Because, that's not what happens here. You could've just made a middle evolution that looked about half-way between Larvitar and Tyranitar and I wouldn't have asked any questions. Having a pupa stage doesn't even serve a purpose, here. And it's just… kind of dumb-looking. I would've liked to have a middle stage that actually looked like a middle-stage between the two, but throwing Pupitar in there just feels like a waste of potential.
4.) Pineco > Forretress
Nothing about these pokemon looks even remotely similar.
Like, I guess they both have an overall compact and heavily-armored body type, but… that's where the similarities end. I don't know how one set of body parts was supposed to turn into the other. Pineco is a pinecone, and Forretress is… actually, I have no idea what kind of creature that's supposed to be, but it reminds me more of an oyster or maybe even an insect of some kind, not a pinecone. I don't know why this is even an evolution line.
3.) Bagon > Shelgon > Salamence
??? IS THERE SOMETHING IN JAPANESE DRAGON LORE ABOUT YOUNG DRAGONS TURNING INTO COCOONS AND EMERGING AS LARGER DRAGONS THAT I SHOULD KNOW ABOUT???
Like, fuck, at least Pupitar had Tyranitar's spikes. There was at least some connection between the middle stage and the final stage. But nothing about Shelgon resembles any part of Salamence (except for maybe the pattern on Salamance's belly looking similar to Shelgon's shell, but like, come on). And not only that, but, Pupitar might've actually been a decent-looking pokemon if it was part of a different evolution line (or maybe just a stand-alone pokemon) instead of mucking up an otherwise really great evolution line, but Shelgon is just… a shell. A very plain-looking shell, with generic eyes and stubby legs.
Yawn.
And, like, ok, Bagon's whole thing is that it really wants to be able to fly, and that's why it eventually becomes a big, winged dragon. And I guess you could liken that to a caterpillar wanting to be a butterfly, but… eh. I really just don't think that a lame cocoon middle stage is really necessary, especially not when we could've had a cool juvenile dragon-thing that actually looked like the half-way point between Bagon and Salamence. I don't even care if the middle stage was still completely wingless and it didn't get any wings at all until it became Salamence. They already did that with the Charmander line, and, honestly, I don't really mind that, either. And, similarly to Larvitar and Tyranitar, the beginning and end stages already look similar enough that it really can't be that difficult to imagine what the middle stage would look like if it was just a linear progression from one thing to the other. Why did this evolution line need a boring pupa stage?? WE COULD'VE HAD SOMETHING SO MUCH BETTER.
2.) Trapinch > Vibrava > Flygon
What the fuck happened here?
I mean, the Vibrava > Flygon part is reasonable enough. I'll give that a pass. It's Trapinch that I'm concerned about.
If you had never seen this evolution line before, but you saw Trapinch's design, and knew that it evolved into something — what would you expect from those evolutions? Surely you would expect it to keep up the whole desert-dwelling aesthetic and definitely that whole pincer/beartrap mouth thing, right? Perhaps it would evolve into a big crustacean sort of thing, with huge claws similar to the one that it has for a mouth in this stage?
NOPE, DRAGON BUGS.
Literally nothing about Trapinch's design carries over into Vibrava. Not even its giant, trap-y head — its most important feature — is referenced at all in Vibrava's design. I remember really wanting a Flygon as a kid ever since I saw it in the Jirachi: Wish-Maker movie, but I had no idea how to get one in the games. I honestly don't remember when I was actually made aware of the fact that Trapinch eventually evolves into it, but you can't blame me for not figuring that out on my own. It isn't quite as intuitive as some other evolution lines.
Really the only thing connecting Trapinch to Vibrava and Flygon is that Vibrava and Flygon are still both part-ground type in addition to being dragon-type. But, aside from the superficial connection to Trapinch… why are Vibrava and Flygon ground-type? Like I said, they look like dragon-bugs. Vibrava especially looks more like a bug than a dragon at that point. They should both be bug/dragon. Vibrava I could've accepted as a ground-type, if you want to look at it as a ground-dwelling insect, one that lives in the desert or something (although you would have to knock out the dragon-type to make room for it). And Flygon… what the fuck does Flygon even have to do with the ground? It even has fly in its name. It would make a better flying-type than a ground-type (although dragon and bug are still both more fitting). Actually, wait a minute — "fly" could also just be seen as a reference to the insect. It's name is literally just a combination of "fly"(insect) and "dragon". So when it's very name is telling you that it should be dragon/bug, you've made a mistake in not giving it that typing.
Now, before I get to #1, here are a few honorable mentions:
Weedle > Kakuna > Beedrill
Can someone please explain to me why a caterpillar turns into a bee? I assumed Weedle was going to turn into a moth when I first started playing the game as a kid. I mean, if you have two caterpillar pokemon at roughly the same point in the game, and one of them turns into a butterfly, then a moth counterpart just made the most sense to me. But no, it's… it's a bee. Or maybe Beedrill is technically more of a wasp? Eh, it still doesn't make sense either way.
Abra > Kadabra > Alakazam
Abra = decently-sized tail. Kadabra = enormous tail that's probably bigger than the rest of its entire body. Alakazam = NO TAIL WHATSOEVER. Where did it go??? Why did you build the tail up so much during the middle stage if it was just going to disappear all at once afterwards??
Squirtle > Wartortle > Blastoise
Another case of my-tail-gets-increasingly-bigger-and-more-important-and-then-oh-wait-it's-gone-all-of-a-sudden. Sure, Blastoise technically does have a small tail, but it looks completely different even from Squirtle's tail. And unlike Kadabra's massive tail — which was big but didn't actually carry any significance to the creature's lore — Wartortle has several pokedex entries about how its fluffy tail represents the wisdom that it acquires as it ages. But then with Blastoise it's just… gone. No fluffy wisdom tail for Blastoise, I guess.
AND THE MOST RIDICULOUS POKEMON EVOLUTION LINE (and the one that inspired me to create this list in the first place) IS…
1.) Remoraid > Octillery
What the fuck is this bullshit.
Nothing about these two pokemon is even remotely similar, except for maybe their eyes — but the eyes on both of them are generic-enough that I feel like I can't really count it. These are two completely separate aquatic pokemon that were just smooshed together for… some reason.
And, yeah, there are a lot of evolution lines on this list that are probably the result of Gamefreak making evolution lines out of pokemon that previously weren't meant to be related to each other, and then not changing the pokemon's designs to account for that. Like, Vibrava and Flygon were probably not related to Trapinch to begin with (and probably were bug-type originally). Pineco and Forretress might not have been related at first. Golem and Dragonite were quite possibly stand-alone pokemon to begin with. Etc. But at least I can understand why there was an attempt at connecting some of these originally-unrelated pokemon together, even if I wish that their designs had been altered a bit to make the connection more clear. I don't think there's anything you could've done to make Trapinch fit into Vibrava and Flygon's line (in fact, changing Vibrava and Flygon to ground type really just made everything worse), but at least that's just a blemish on an otherwise good evolution line. And I guess they wanted all their cool dragon-types to be part of three-stage evolutions, which is why they felt pressured to throw another pokemon into the mix somehow (or at least, that's my theory).
But there is no reason why Remoraid and Octillery had to be linked together. Maybe they were worried that Remoraid would be too weak and pointless without an evolution? If that's really the case then design an actual evolution for it, or just buff it up and let it be a stand-alone. Octillery is strong enough on its own that it could've been a perfectly-decent stand-alone aquatic pokemon. It didn't need a pre-evolution. Especially one that isn't related to it at all. A remora has no reason to evolve into an octopus, what the fuck.
*sigh* At least everything on this list still makes more sense than most of Digimon's evolution lines.
AND SPEAKING OF POKEMON THINGS THAT DON'T MAKE ANY SENSE: I was recently made aware of the fact that Gamefreak actually has official color classifications for pokemon, with many of them landing in a color category that they just don't belong in at all. For example: Snorlax is black, and Dragonite is brown. Ok, sure. Like, it would be one thing if they were just forced to split hairs and classify pokemon into colors that most would argue isn't quite accurate, but you can still understand why they went with it (like the Charmander line being classified as red, especially since apparently there is no orange category). But that's not quite the same as classifying Dialga as "white" when it definitely isn't. I'm not going to go over each oddly-classified pokemon individually, I just wanted to link you all to this so you could take a look at Gamefreak's color-blindness for yourself. :P