Discussion in 'THREAD ARCHIVES' started by redblood, Oct 12, 2016.

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  1. Hey there guys 8D

    As all of us know, sharing is caring. So I thought today we could share our most embarrassing and/or awkward sex related stories. A lot of stuff can happen in the sexual world, be it something to ourselves or something we watch happening in a porno. Either way, we all have embarrassing memories to share, so share them with me and I promise not to make them into an awkward porno to make millions. Maybe. 8D

    To break the ice, I will start with my most embarrassing experience. Now, anyone who knows me knows that I dun do sexy stuff, so I don't have anything especially interesting from my own sex life. But there was this time when I woke up feeling sick at 3AM and went up to watch some TV. I noticed that mom were going to record something in the morning, so I decided not to change the channel just in case I would fall asleep. The movie that just started was really weird, it was just filming a room with a bed and two people walking into it. (The camera was not moving at all and it looked like a home video.) They started to take their clothes off and I thought "Okay, probably some B horror movie, this sex scene will be over soon." So I went to get some water and expected it to be over when I got back. I got back and the girl was ******* *** the dudes **** and I was like "WTF..... THIS SHOULD BE OVER NOW?? WHY IS NO OVER???" So a fight with the remote control which doesn't want to change channel for a whole minute before I finally get it to work. xD My heart was not prepared. Then I fell asleep and forgot to change back the channel and I let my mom be angry at me when she didn't get to record her movie, cause I was not about to tell her that I changed it cause there was a porno on that channel she was on xD

    Now, give me your funnily embarrassing sexy time moments 8D
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  2. I don't have those because I'm too shy or quiet to talk about anything related to sex irl. >.>;; Unless you counted how many awkward moments I apparently created in highschool due to dropping question bombs like 'What's Viagra?' and 'What's an orgasm?' whenever my classmates talk about those.
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  3. Did they give you factional answers or did they try to dance around your questions like parents do with the flowers and the bees? xD -Very interested-
  4. I have no embarassing/funny real sexy times in real life, only dreams and an embarassing roleplay experience.
  5. You kids! I'm taking away your red stars and petitioning for a new category for you...

    Happily I have at least one story that doesn't involve me being engaged in libertine behavior. I was a teenager with roommates. We had the upper part of a converted house and some nice people rented the downstairs.

    One quiet Saturday afternoon, I was reading a book when there was a pounding at the front door. The only other roomie home was my friend Jane and she had been holed up in her room (which had its own private bathroom) with her boyfriend since last night.

    I answered the door and it was Sally from downstairs and she had cut her hand chopping vegetables--not bad enough to go to the hospital, but it was a bleeder, and she was out of bandaids and the like.

    I ran to the main bathroom and we didn't have anything either! Doh. I knew Jane had some in her private bathroom, cuz we hung out all the time in her room.

    I ran to Jane's room and knocked on the door...

    "What?" she shouted.

    I explained why I urgently needed the medicine kit in her bathroom, glancing back at poor Sally, whose cut had saturated the paper towel or whatever, that she had hastily wrapped around her hand.

    There was a moment of silence from behind the closed door.

    "Can I come in and get your medicine kit?" I asked. "I know just where it is!"

    Jane started to shout a bunch of a questions. I tried the door handle. The door was unlocked. If it had been anyone else...but we were besties.

    I thought, screw this. If she and her lover were still in bed after umpteen hours, at least they've had time to cover up after playing twenty questions here, plus they didn't lock the door or say "go away!" or "wait!" and I had someone dripping blood on the floor here.

    I turned the handle and resolutely strode in. Well you can guess.

    Unfortunately, I had to bypass the bed to reach the bathroom. There they were, Adam and Eve, in all their glory, without a fig leaf between them, and worse, still (to put it delicately) "entwined." I hastily averted my eyes (the feeling was "ewww" and "oh shit!").

    I was mildly surprised at what a tiny round butt her boyfriend had. Some things are burned into memory.

    The horse being out of the barn door, there was nothing to gain by retreating and I grabbed the medicine kit and was out of there in a flash, mumbling apologies.

    (Afterwards, Jane was rather snarly about this for a long time, while her boyfriend looked smirkingly pleased with himself when we crossed paths.)
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  6. I'm no stranger to these terrible stories. I couldn't make this shit up if I tried. In a spoiler JIC.

    My friends flat has an attic that you can climb into and sleep in, but it's like this. So if someone peeks up, they see all. I stay over at the flat often along with the bf, and that attic is like our bedroom. If there is a lot of people, they sleep in the main room. One drunk night we're slowly starting to sift off into our beds, me and bf included. We decided to try to do some sexy things under the covers. Of course when we're pants down, our drunk friend's boyfriend (Who neither of us know that well) Climbs up the stairs and literally gurgles about how much he appreciates us.

    I'm literally gonna die. I'm trying to hide under the blanket as much as possible, but THIS DUDE GETS ONTO THE BED WITH US?!?!! My Bf is panicking as he tries to get his junk into his pants, but this guy is so drunk he's clambering all over the bed, the covers are uncovering my butt and my legs. HE PASSES OUT onto us?? OR he falls asleep OR SOMETHING?? His weight traps my bf, hand and junk out of pants. Literally what do we do?

    I'm naked and afraid.

    Of course everyone hear's the commotion and as this is happening, two friends are standing on the steps, holding in their laughter as they FILM THIS ALL.

    And that's how my ass was on snapchat for everyone to see.
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  7. I guess my most embarrassing story is when I got really drunk with my mom and cousin and decided to tell everyone all about my new vibrators.

    Nothing else was said about this night until my mom and I were driving to the airport for our flight back home. We passed by a sex shop and she just looked at me and asked how I liked my new toys. 8|

    nothing else because I'm single AF v_v
  8. There's a convenience store in the neighborhood of Zama City that I go to often. It's a small one, and when you're in line to the cashier, you'll be right in front of the "adult" publications. And in Japan they don't censor or cover up anything on display.

    Years back in officer training school, the entire flight was getting summoned out of the dorm rooms and into the hallway at 0500 or so. To most of us, that meant throw on your uniform in a flash and run out to the hallway and stand at attention for the flight commander. To one of us (not me of course), it meant do all of that... except throwing on the uniform. Ha ha ha...

    I won't go into detail on this one but lately it has been a little awkward and clumsy in moments where a few words aren't understood by the other, resulting in a frantic/awkward/clumsy reaching for the smartphone to help communicate in times where... you normally don't have the phone in hand.
  9. I'm a virgin teen but I went to a Catholic primary school that did not have sex education, so me and my classmates learnt all about the magical world of adults through the Bible. Shoutout to Adam, Eve and Solomon. Never forget the time you compared the woman you were razzing's breasts to galloping gazelles.

    Also the old Oxford dictionaries we had that we liked looking up 'penis' and 'vagina' in. Good times.
  10. You know, I figured this one would be easy and I'd have plenty of options, but I really can't think of anything embarrassing to share.
  11. I own my embarrassment so idgaf :D

    however that one time I had an episode of lactose intolerance and my hubby and I thought it would be cool to have sex... HMM NOT SO COOL AFTER ALL.
  12. I'm a pretty private person when it comes to the deed. Or affection in general to be honest.

    So it was rather embarrassing for me when I realised most of the songs I liked as a kid and teen were rather... dirty?

    Like B4-4's Get Down. I only realized three freaking weeks ago how dirty that song really is. My nineteen years old bud was like "How did you not get that?" My excuse was that we weren't as perverted back then. >:[
  13. Mine really aren't that great.

    Just trying out a bunch of "weird" stuff and then totally losing the mood and going "Yeah this isn't working." Turns out I'm pretty vanilla.

    Although there was that one time I got completely shitfaced and in between throwing up I proclaimed to some dude I guess I had a crush on that he could fuck me if he wanted to... Unfortunately there were witnesses and I didn't get to live that one down for a while. But on the upside, we never did anything because I was puking so much, so ass virginity saved! XD
  14. The face of your one night stand once you tell them you are five years younger than them is one priceless thing I have encountered. I will never get that face out of my mind.
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  15. So I was having sex, right? I realize that I'm really dehydrated. So I pull out and say something. "I'm a little thirsty, I'm gonna be right back." After I leave the room I go soft, and I think a glass of water isn't enough to tide me over for the next few hours. I then walk out of the house to the nearby 7-Eleven and buy myself a slurpee, and walk back in 15 minutes later. I didn't ask if they wanted anything, either. I just knew I was thirsty.
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