Through Time and Laughter

For the first time today, Anya didn't speak, no-- she only listened to his voice. His deep, quiet, and shockingly scared voice. The sound was one she hadn't heard too often. It worried her deeply, yet fueled her endless resolve to help him. She wasn't nosy, not necessarily, just concerned. Concerned and willing to help in whatever way she could. Anya may not have seen all of them, but she has seen some wounds. Cas has been through a lot, it's pretty evident, and it's also evident that it looks like he hasn't had much "comfort" or help with most of these problems (then again, it could just be her speculating). An independence grew from it though, one she both easily respects and worries about too much. Then again, she cant help it; it's probably her job at this point.

"Well, look at the brightside," Anya began after a long pause, sitting beside him with a pack of ice. "You have somebody who'll do what they can to help you remember."
She smiled slightly, taking both of his (wait, were they shaking a little? or it t just her?) hands and placing the cool ice pack inside of them. "The cold-- it'll temporarily numb the pain for awhile, depending how long you have it on."

To be completely honest, she just wanted to give him a hug right now.
 
His hands were trembling slightly as Cas took the ice-pack and he looked down at it, a smile pulling at his lips that wasn't faked, genuine, but his eyes were pained and tired. "I missed you." It was whispered and he looked up, his dark blue gaze meeting her dark brown directly again as his hand reached out to tuck her hair behind her ear. It's a gesture he's not sure he's done before, but it feels like maybe he has...when they were younger, maybe? The memory is fuzzy.

"Even when I struggled to remember my own name at first....I still remembered yours." He closed his eyes, taking a shaky breath, not sure why he suddenly feels like its okay to fall apart. But he does. It's like his body knows where it is, who its with. It knows this place is safe and that Anya...she is the one person he CAN lean on. It's comforting and overwhelming all at once and Cas struggles for some control.

"That's why I came here. It was the only place worth remembering, obviously, because I never forgot it."
 
Anastasia was left, for the most part, speechless.

She never took her hand away from his own, she just listened. She let the information soak in like a sponge and kept it locked in there for safekeeping, in case he'd forget it later (which he might). His words, while genuine, were touching at best. And while a confession(?) like this was new to her, she knew he needed it. Keeping all that inside isn't the healthiest thing in the world, so she kept her smart comments to herself and didn't say a word, she just let him vent. It would do him good, and she doesn't mind listening.

She leaned into his hand just a bit when he tucked some loose strands of dumb hair behind her ear, leaving her still as he slowly broke and crumbled in front of her. Cas has never done this, ever. Yes, there have been times where he has vented to her and had her for support, but never like this.
So in result, she didn't know how to respond correctly.
Anya did keep her own hand in his free one though, feeling it tremble ever so slightly as he continued to speak, to confess, to let it go. She listened quietly and intently and once he finished, there was a pause, and she looked up at him with a genuine, half smile of hers.
She must have really done a number on him, for why else would he have remembered her before himself?
 
Cas knew that he'd surprised her and while part of him wanted to stop talking, more of him wanted to just let the words pour out of his mouth, to tell her everything from the last five years, everything he remembered that is. It was more than he remembered of his life before five years ago. He knew his father was a drunk who beat him almost daily and he knew his mother was always sickly. She was dead now, he knew that, too, but he couldn't remember if he'd told Anya all that, though, he felt she at least knew about his father if not his mother. He knew this street, this house. He knew the names of some of the people in this city and he knew snippets of his history with Anya, but most things were a blur and the memories feel like they aren't even worth struggling to find. He knew what he was, who he was, but his past...Cas was almost afraid of remembering it. It seemed to be filled with nothing but pain. The only fleeting memories of joy and happiness he got involved Anya. Always her.

The half-wolf brought his free hand up to his head again as pain flared in his temples. Thinking about anything for too long or too deeply always garnered him that kind of result these days and Cas was used to it, but it didn't mean he liked it. He brought his dark blue eyes back to focus on Anya and smiled back at her, though, the expression was tinged with a deep sadness and pain he wasn't really aware he was not hiding. His hand, the one her own is resting in, closed around her fingers gently and he shivered, the motion rippling through his entire body like he was cold. It wasn't a chill that caused it, though, but emotions, fear among them.

"Anya, can I...stay?"

Cas didn't know why he asked again, only knowing that if felt like he had to. Now that she knew he wasn't okay, that he wasn't quite the same person she remembered, he wants to make sure she IS all right with this.. With everything, though, he hasn't even begun to reveal everything. He knew she was his friend and she cared for him, she'd always been his friend. That was one thing he'd never forgotten. He'd never forgotten her and he didn't ever want to. That was why he'd come here. Cas realized that now as he looked at Anya. He'd come here to make sure he didn't forget the one thing he wanted to remember above all else.
 
((i'm the worst rp partner and i apologize ~ __~:: I kinda disappeared for a second and i should've said something!! may bad u ~ u
And it figures the night i want to reply is the night they want t upDATE THINGS >:I))

The Ex-Archer threw him a half smile, was there really a need to ask again? "Of course you dummy. You can stay as long as you want."
Another famous pause was caught in between the two, but this one was a bit different. This time, this time, the pianist was able to get a good look at her friend here, and boy what a sight it was. Casdon has always been attractive, she couldn't deny that, but now she really could see it. And then some. She knew her cheeks were coloring, and she wanted to look away-- but she couldn't. It was like she was being pulled towards him, and no matter how she averted her eyes, her gaze always leads back to him.
It would have been a nice moment, no really, until she noticed how much room was between the two-- and it was easy to say it wasn't much. Anya just noticed this fact, and turned a bright red, a shade she didn't even know was possible. She backed away, not because she was scared or anything, but because of her sheer embarrassment and oh my god how long were we that close what if we went closer oh lord. Her face easily said this.
"I-I-I mean duh! It's not like i can kick you out, b-b-besides, It'd be better with another person around you k-know?" She stuttered ungracefully, waving her hands infront of her somewhat in defense and she barely managed to keep her stuttering self together.

What in the world was that.


 
(((Sokay. Life happens. :) )))

Cas hadn't minded looking at Anya, though, he had been surprised that she held his gaze for so long. It hadn't bothered him, though. Maybe it was because he'd been away for so long and he found her gestures comforting. Maybe it was because he'd always been a bit more open than her with gestures of affections between them that didn't involve mothering - Anya would take the cake for that one - that made him okay with how close they were. Maybe it was all that or nothing like that at all, Cas didn't know.

What he did know was that when she jerked back, her face flaming, he found himself grinning and her stuttering just made her all that more endearing to him. He reached forward as her hands started to wave almost frantically and caught them easily, as if he'd done it a thousand times before. He was pretty sure he had.

"Okay. Thank you, Anya. Now would you stop fluttering like a damn butterfly? You're making me dizzy." he teased, suddenly looking much more like the Cas she'd remember.
 
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