Thread of my feels and whatev..

[Midnight_Star]

I really am not sure how to even structure this thread... I suppose I could start with an explanation on why I felt the need to bring this thread into existence. I mentioned in my blog post that I've had some "internal conflict", though I neglected to talk about this conflict, for a number of reasons, the most prominent of which being that I didn't feel it an appropriate time or setting to do so. This wild tangent aside, let's actually get to the reason that THIS is here. Throughout the course of my life (16 and about 3/4 years thus far), I've dealt with many... issues, I suppose the word is, but not quite and I'll get to why I say "not quite" at a later date. But anyhow, I frequent complete breakdowns. Breakdowns in which I cry for a few minutes to a seemingly endless amount of time (the durations fluctuate at random, so I don't know how long for sure). I also tend to bring minor bodily harm to myself within these breakdowns, whether it's through beating myself against the frame of my bed or the wall, or even cutting... These breakdowns have no specific trigger and tend to happen at night, which prevents me from being able to sleep, though I already get little to no sleep on a regular basis, so this isn't too much a hinderence to me. Now, I do have reason for my depressive state as well as other minor things I'll mention another time. But I felt that the item of primary importance for now was the breakdowns. I know that my thoughts were poorly coordinated through this, but I don't know what to do. These breakdowns are getting worse and my parents don't believe that anything is wrong with me and that this is regular teenage behavior... I figured that I'd ask for opinions here without sounding as though I'm trying to seek attention... Anyhow, if you bothered to read this mess of a post, thank you very much and thoughts of any kind are appreciated. Bye for now,
~Midnight

 

[Jorick]

Well, there's always the extremely obvious way to try to deal with your issues: seek professional psychological assistance. The easiest way would be to get your parents to set you up an appointment with a psychologist of some sort, but if your parents are unwilling to see your troubles as anything more than typical teenage angst there are some alternative routes available that might open their eyes or bypass them entirely.

If you go to a normal school (anything that's not homeschooling), there ought to be multiple people you can talk to about this: counselors would be preferred if you've got them, trusted teachers could be good as well, or even a school nurse could help you out. Basically anyone in a sort of authority position who acknowledges your problems as truly concerning things (which they are) could either talk to your parents and perhaps sway their minds or might be able to get you in touch with people who you can talk to without any need to go through your parents.

If school isn't a viable option you could try a normal doctor, and really this way has a higher chance of working than the school thing. Find a real reason or make up a fake reason (preferably not an emergency room sort of ailment, and definitely not any self-inflicted harm) to need to go see a general physician. If you can go in to talk to them without a parent in the room that'd probably be preferable for you, but even if you can't do that you should still go for it. Get past the stated reason for the visit, then bring up the secret reasons (your breakdowns and such). They will almost certainly refer you to a psychologist or psychiatrist, or at least say you really ought to see one, and that referral/recommendation from a medical professional should hopefully be enough to convince your parents that you're not just going through average teenager problems.

Aside from the whole seeking professional aid thing, reach out to any friends or family you feel you can trust and will take you seriously. It can be very hard to open up and talk about these kinds of issues, but it can help a lot. Sometimes just talking through things and venting can fix problems, but even if nothing is fixed you're likely to get some stress reduction from it and might just find a sympathetic person who's willing to lend their ear or a shoulder to cry on to help you get through the tough times.