This was left on something I wrote several years ago. I posted it to my creative writing class' open

Discussion in 'THREAD ARCHIVES' started by FELZILLA, May 4, 2011.

  1. Patrick,

    What a wonderful story! It was one I was sad to see end. I want more!! Can you tell about how you came to write this story? What was your inspiration? How did you come up with the idea of this story? How did you develop such a old fashion way of writing? Most importantly: Is there more?!

    I love how you develop the setting right off the bat. Your first paragraph of each section details what the characters are feeling, seeing, smelling, hearing, and touching. It makes the reader feel like they are standing next to the character experiencing what they are experiencing. The vivid details are consistent in each section, even when the place changes, it is easy to know where the new location is. Your key choice in words make it easy to describe the situation in clear detail without an excess of words.

    The structure of your story is also to be applauded. Each section has a conflict, climax, and a sort of resolution, yet they all add to the shadowing of the main plot line. This sort of control shows me you know exactly what you want from your story and how it is going to play out. I can assumed that you have an outline of this story? If not, you have a very organized mind. Though it is incomplete, I can see the pacing of the story is exactly the way it should be. It keeps the readers interest up, while adding new elements each section.

    The character development is strong. Every time a new character is introduced, you thoroughly give us a chance to know their personality before moving on. The strongest character so far is the archpriest. At first, he is unlikable, giving off the air that he is better than everyone. Yet, he would be completely unlikable if you wouldn't have added that this peasant supposedly took something dear and close to him. By doing that, you added a human aspect of compassion. With that, you have connected with the readers. Arguably, this is the most important part of characters: connection with the reader. Nobody is perfect though, and by adding this flaw, you have created interest.

    Everything you have written in this story is believable and true. You have managed to create simple characters that have underlying emotions and memories that we can sense through the words. When I say simple, I mean you are staying true to what is expected of a certain kind of person (i.e. the priest). Yet, you are original and exciting in your work that makes me want more. Also, by using key word choice, you are creating a voice that enhances the feeling of being in the medieval time. Skipping just one aspect I outlined, your story would not be nearly as good. You should be proud of this piece and pursue its finish. Do you have any plans for it in the future?

    I suppose the only thing I don't understand are the breaks. You keep changing from one scene to another. It does not bother me as this is going to be a long story, but now it is a bit jumbled. I know they are all going to tie in, but do you mind explaining the story to me a bit further in detail?

    Wonderfully done sir,

    Laurel


    THE WRITING IN QUESTION CAN BE FOUND IN MY SIGNATURE
     
  2. SPAMMING YOUR OWN WRITTEN WORK? SINCE WHEN?
     
  3. SINCE IT COUNTED TOWARD LIFE.
     
  4. Alright, I'll show up at your door and punch you in the face and then I'll find all your D&D-stuff and burn it.

    WTF are you talking about in your signature? It's just a silly blog. >=| SHOW ME