This is what you really shouldn't say.

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SlamifiedBuddafied

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Don't take this seriously. Though I'm sure my humor is a bit tasteless, I thought I'd add some imagination to the entire, "burn in hell, fire and brimstone, yadda yadda." From a post elsewhere where I thought I'd test somebodies patience. Now as for the reason why I'm even bothering posting this.

Seriously. This is what you really shouldn't say. Frying pan to fire, that spiel.


Did one ever consider that some people find the idea of an eternity in the deepest most morbid parts of hell may actually be an entertaining idea? Those who would find sweet exquisite pleasure in being raped over and over again in a tornado of fiery sin? Bathed in a lake of glorious sulfur? What about having their entrails strewn about through the abdominal lands in the final pit where the three betrayers hang in such luscious agony? Those who would cast themselves head first into a land of decay, to experience the bitter disease of life slowly sapped from every pore in your body only to have your thirst quenched with the urine of diseased lepers?

Fear not for them, for your God and Devil are but two sides of a twisted yet beautiful coin, omnipresent and omnipotent. Capable striking down the tower of babble only to cry out diversity for a divine was challenged by the bronze arrow! Only but a lord of deceit could fool the world for so long into believing in divinity and eternal life. Would not a Devil claim the same prize to give unto you for the same devotion? Do not fret, for Hell and Heaven are but a grand design built within the same halls. One but need be thankful for the wicked, the putrid and the truly horrid. For they in contrast bring light to what is good in this world as the good need but shed their righteous shadows over the entrails of the devoid and darker places.

As any good being of the faith would say, "The lord works in mysterious ways."

Then again. I may just be yanking your leg. Have a good day!
 
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DGraves said:
Don't take this seriously. Though I'm sure my humor is a bit tasteless, I thought I'd add some imagination to the entire, "burn in hell, fire and brimstone, yadda yadda." From a post elsewhere where I thought I'd test somebodies patience. Now as for the reason why I'm even bothering posting this.

Seriously. This is what you really shouldn't say. Frying pan to fire, that spiel.


Did one ever consider that some people find the idea of an eternity in the deepest most morbid parts of hell may actually be an entertaining idea? Those who would find sweet exquisite pleasure in being raped over and over again in a tornado of fiery sin? Bathed in a lake of glorious sulfur? What about having their entrails strewn about through the abdominal lands in the final pit where the three betrayers hang in such luscious agony? Those who would cast themselves head first into a land of decay, to experience the bitter disease of life slowly sapped from every pore in your body only to have your thirst quenched with the urine of diseased lepers?

Fear not for them, for your God and Devil are but two sides of a twisted yet beautiful coin, omnipresent and omnipotent. Capable striking down the tower of babble only to cry out diversity for a divine was challenged by the bronze arrow! Only but a lord of deceit could fool the world for so long into believing in divinity and eternal life. Would not a Devil claim the same prize to give unto you for the same devotion? Do not fret, for Hell and Heaven are but a grand design built within the same halls. One but need be thankful for the wicked, the putrid and the truly horrid. For they in contrast bring light to what is good in this world as the good need but shed their righteous shadows over the entrails of the devoid and darker places.

As any good being of the faith would say, "The lord works in mysterious ways."

Then again. I may just be yanking your leg. Have a good day!
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Serve in Heaven or Rule in Hell?
 
I love that rhyming scheme you got going on there...
 
Razilin said:
Serve in Heaven or Rule in Hell?
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I would find both pleasant.

Vaewolf said:
I love that rhyming scheme you got going on there...
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Hmmm, I was not aware of any rhyming scheme. Maybe I was enjoying myself a bit too much.

The replies I've gotten to the initial post have been amusing to say the least. Mostly people claiming I'm ridiculing their intelligence, one even gives the analogy of taking a 45lbs dumbbell and stretching my arms side to side and that I couldn't do it because I could never measure up to Jesus the Christ. Ha! But of course, I suppose my cynicism begets such. I shouldn't be testing these peoples patience, but their retorts are half baked insults which only prove how little understanding they have. Tortures their savior went through were invented well before his time in more ancient lands to the East. I suppose the most surprising thing is, I am told I should educate myself when the irony is most of what I listed is lifted directly from the same holy book they claim to know. Crazy no?

But the real question is; is this trolling?
 
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Vaewolf said:
Oh, that was directed towards Brovo.
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DGraves said:
But the real question is; is this trolling?
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You? Maybe.

Them? No. It's zealotry. The unfortunate malignancy of the mind that poisons a man to become such a twisted thing: Certainly violent.
 
Brovo said:
Them? No. It's zealotry. The unfortunate malignancy of the mind that poisons a man to become such a twisted thing: Certainly violent.
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Sensible, somehow I get the feeling those same people would disagree. I suppose I shouldn't push their buttons though I don't feel I'm doing so for the sake of pushing buttons. In but a few rare cases have I met some who are zealous but never forget their own teachings and do not allow themselves to be subdued by anger. As for these others, well they forget themselves.
 
Eternal torture's great and all, but after a while, the fun goes right out of it. Kind of like Disney World.
 
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I personally found this quite amusing!
 
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I think I'd prefer the route of staying on earth and start haunting everything. You know what I mean? There's nothing like the feeling of mentally traumatizing the future generations.
 
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Ahhhh, humanity... so endlessly amusing, aren't they? I've enjoyed my own online "discussions" on such matters, to the point where I've been put on "Ignore" lists. Classic.
 
I've told way too many holocaust jokes not to be headed to hell in a handbasket. I'm bringing the marshmallows, everyone who laughed is bringing a roasting stick.
 
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