Things you don't want to hear in the workplace!

  • So many newbies lately! Here is a very important PSA about one of our most vital content policies! Read it even if you are an ancient member!
Dude get your penis off my shoulder....

did NOT need to hear that at work
"Awwwgh uuugh some lady just shit all over the walls. By the way, it's your shift to clean the bathrooms tonight. :D"
"I will fire you if you go on Maternity Leave."
(Hey, that one is a lawsuit!)

"Get the cookies, the computer is still down, and the lines are getting longer."
"Bozo the clown is coming over to inform us about sexual harassment and how to avoid it."
"We're actually in The Matrix and Neo is coming to destroy this building with us in it"
Management is pleased to announce that the minimum wage has been cut in half and have called salary reviews for all staff members. And remember to hang in there baby.
Lunch has been canceled.
We're out of mayo. Hey Charlie can you go make some more?
"We found a machine that can do your job and costs less to operate per hour than we pay you"
"Our new system will allow our employees to do twice the work as the old system."
"Can you get these personal stains out?"
"You will have to work outside today in the rain to test the waterproof scanners."
"You're in charge of the boss' four yr old daughter. B-T-Dubs, she's at that stage where she's always asking where babies come from. Also, be ready to have that powerpoint done in an hour."
A customers child is running around without a diaper screaming that they have to pee...please go take care of it.
It's your turn to train the new interns.
There's vomit in aisles one, four and thirteen, guess who gets to clean them up?
When the person that REALLY dealt it, damn near screams out: "DID SOMETHING CRAWL UP YOUR ARSE AND DIE?"