Things the Hero wouldn't say...

O

Ochalla

Guest
Original poster
"I could do that, but then I'd have to destroy everything you've ever loved or cared for."
 
"Sorry, I don't do damsels."
 
"Hero? Who told you I was the hero?"
 
heeeeeeeey~ maybe i should control some random people and make them my minions!
 
"I WILL BEAT YOUR CHILDREN TO DEATH WITH YOUR OWN SEVERED LEG!!"
 
"'Aye, mah name is Ryker"
 
*Ryker grabs Julez and takes her into a supply closet. He comes out an hour later, smoking a cigarette.*

Ever'one knows the 'ero' don' take 'is friend's girl inna Biblical sense.

H-how could you!

Easy. Ah should mention the cowgirl is easiest fer use in ae closet.

*Deimon faints in disbelief.*
 
*Julez wanders out of the closet, grinning half-dazed, covered in what appears to be dog drool*

I think I have a thing for werewolves now.....
 
Y'hear 'at Deimon? Julez is mine.

*Deimon cries and cuts his wrists.*

My life is nothing but cruelty...
 
*A girl walks in and hears what Ryker says, then starts wailing*

BUT I'M FINALLY PREGNANT! I'M GOING TO HAVE YOUR HELLSPAWN!

Ooooo! I got another! "Let's get into a threesome"! Everyone knows the hero is-

YOU'RE MANIPULATING THIS TO MAKE IT WORK TO YOUR ADVANTAGE!

Yup.
 
I'm gonna fuckin' kill my fiance.
 
Call in the gunships, call in the nape! Pop smoke and mark that mother fucker! It's time to die!
 
.....That's the monster?.... Oh, we are FUCKED.
 
Hold on! he's having trouble pulling the sword out of the stone!