Things the Hero wouldn't say...

  • So many newbies lately! Here is a very important PSA about one of our most vital content policies! Read it even if you are an ancient member!
"Hello. I'm Biggus Dickus. I'm here to save you."
 
"I'm emo."
 
"We're taking all the weapons, armor and items we'll need! The world is at stake here, we can't just idle by and grind for gold just to pay you!"
 
"Fight? Why don't we just talk out our differences...?"
 
*sees a lady being mugged and flies over*
Hey umm I don't have time to save you, just thought I should know.
 
"What is this? I don't need to read any damn manual to know how to pilot this jet. Just give me that damn helmet..."
 
"Oh damn... I broke a nail..."

Seriously, this is a paraphrase of a line in 'Johnny Blue and the Texas Rangers.' A gunslinger they hire, while very proficient in his craft, turns out to be quite the fruitcake.
 
Yeah? So what if the world's in danger? I have no intention whatsoever of leaving my nice little isolated hometown.
 
"yeah, yeah I know the worlds in danger... just wait until this show is over then I will get to it..."

"yeah I would like extra pepperoni... Well yeah i know your being attacked by twelve feet spiders just bring me then damn pizza or I will have to shove my super foot up your not so super ass..."
 
"So, it doesn't matter how many other people die as long as I kill Doctor Nogud, right?"
 
Hey! I know you! WAIT, WHAT DOES IT MEAN IF MY ENEMY WAS THE ONE WHO BABYSAT ME?!
 
"I can't possibly kill him! He's my father!"

"I can't possibly kill him! He's my gay lover!"

"I can't possibly kill him! He's my transexual sister!"

"I'm not going out to fight if I have to wear that. Please tell me you have something that's frilly, tight, and pink. Hell, I'll settle for yellow spandex if you have it."
 
"No fuck YOU! This world wouldn't spend ten seconds out of it's pitiful FUCKING existence even touching my issues, so I would I save it?"
 
"no, no yah know what this time save your own ass for once. This is what like the 50th time you have fallen to evil because you can't beef up security at all my god can't any of you people do something right for a change and not fall into the clutches of evil."
 
"Look...

First, your problem lies in the fact that you renounced war.

Second, you're going to stiff me on my payment when I finish rendering services.

Third, I can see your daughter looking at me. Jailbait or not, I am going to hit that so hard when I pull out England is going to ask me to be the next King.

Fourth, yours is a nation of pussies.

Fifth...

Sixth, What's to stop me, the head of a Private Military Corporation, from taking over that piss poor excuse you call a nation?

And seventh, I did say I was going to fuck your daughter, right?"
 
What is that from?

"LET'S OPEN UP DOOR NUMBER SEVEN!"
 
Just pieced it together after playing the demo for Metal Gear Solid: Peace Walker.
 
Ah....
 
You must log in or register to reply here.
Top Bottom
Back