Things the Hero wouldn't say...

[Ochalla]

"I could do that, but then I'd have to destroy everything you've ever loved or cared for."

 

[Diana]

"Sorry, I don't do damsels."

 

[Hydronine]

"Hero? Who told you I was the hero?"

 

[megane-kun]

heeeeeeeey~ maybe i should control some random people and make them my minions!

 

[Hecatoncheires]

"I WILL BEAT YOUR CHILDREN TO DEATH WITH YOUR OWN SEVERED LEG!!"

 

[Hydronine]

"'Aye, mah name is Ryker"

 

[Arsenal XA4]

*Ryker grabs Julez and takes her into a supply closet. He comes out an hour later, smoking a cigarette.*

Ever'one knows the 'ero' don' take 'is friend's girl inna Biblical sense.

H-how could you!

Easy. Ah should mention the cowgirl is easiest fer use in ae closet.

*Deimon faints in disbelief.*

 

[Ochalla]

"It was his idea, shoot him!"

 

[Hydronine]

*Julez wanders out of the closet, grinning half-dazed, covered in what appears to be dog drool*

I think I have a thing for werewolves now.....

 

[Arsenal XA4]

Y'hear 'at Deimon? Julez is mine.

*Deimon cries and cuts his wrists.*

My life is nothing but cruelty...

 

[BZA]

"Is it in yet?"

 

[Hydronine]

*A girl walks in and hears what Ryker says, then starts wailing*

BUT I'M FINALLY PREGNANT! I'M GOING TO HAVE YOUR HELLSPAWN!

Ooooo! I got another! "Let's get into a threesome"! Everyone knows the hero is-

YOU'RE MANIPULATING THIS TO MAKE IT WORK TO YOUR ADVANTAGE!

Yup.

 

[Arsenal XA4]

Hell is for heroes.

 

[Hydronine]

I'm gonna fuckin' kill my fiance.

 

[Arsenal XA4]

Call in the gunships, call in the nape! Pop smoke and mark that mother fucker! It's time to die!

 

[BZA]

"Yes, but how do I get there?"

 

[Hydronine]

.....That's the monster?.... Oh, we are FUCKED.

 

[BZA]

"But dragons are endangered! We can't slay them!"

 

[Hydronine]

Hold on! he's having trouble pulling the sword out of the stone!

 

[BZA]

"Hell no! I'm not going down there!"