She handed him his book back after she laughed at the nurses, she was not afraid of what he was, what he could be. This comforted him greatly, her calling him unique, understanding he was insane yet she liked that fact of him, was she crazy herself, did think the same as he. The greedy need to know what she thought bore through his being, but he calmed himself; for when Claire sat up on the bed, she seemed to be inviting him to sit next to her, he stood, and walked towards her bed and sat next to her. Her warmth was inviting, it made him feel at home! at peace non the less, he knew he was in the right place to fall into place, but it felt wrong, as if he was tricking himself in not seeing something so very important, it nagged at him but he sat there beside Claire trying to ignore it. " so Claire...... Why am I here... I mean i woke up in the infirmary with nurses poking and prodding me, what was that all about" his voice was soft know but his attitude and emotions had switched once again, it was a neat transition, that happened almost every minute, as if every minute of an hour kept a secret emotion waiting for him, it kept his mind at a restless state and it agitated him that he couldn't hold onto one emotion for more then a mere minute. He really was not waiting for her to answer his questions, he just needed to fill the empty space with noise, he needed to know that this all was not just all another allusion, it was a fact that he had allusions of a lot of things, he was just hoping this wasn't another one. He had felt the heat from Claire's body, but had it been real, had her scent just manifested itself to trick him into another deep dark hole, was he just in another rabbit hole; tumbling,tumbling,tumbling down the rabbit hole, what a perfect fall. " tumbling down the rabbit hole, what a perfect fall, for they never call" He hummed out the melody, it sounded dreary and dark, but it suited the moment the best, it kept him remembering that he was that monster he always thought he was, that he always would be the same, he would always be repetitive. It was an eternal repetition cycle! His life was, no one ever listened to him as the world around him glistened in protest to his existence. He was lost in his thoughts, not noticing that he had stood up and was staring blankly at the ceiling, his feet not even touching the ground. His eye a blank glossy reflection to everything around him.
He was torn back to reality when he saw a glint of something cross past the door way, his feet touched the floor softly as he turned his head towards the door, if Claire was to talk to him know, she would not be able to get through to him, he took a step forward as the door opened, and he found himself yet again, covered in red and black " hey there little rabbit, done with your doll face yet, gonna show your true self yet little boy? no...... well then we should get to work, lets see how damd deep you have gotten yourself this time" the apparition turned and looked across the hall, the hall was full of doors; five in all, and with a turn of his head all doors slammed open, but one, one stayed closed " well then, my my little rabbit why wont you go on and find out whats being hidden from you"
Neverin shook in protest as his body moved forward, the chanting of ' down the rabbit hole we go, what a wonderful hole, you have dug yourself past the tole...... time to pay up boy' his body was rigid yet it moved towards the door in a hasty matter, as he reached the door he regained control of his body, and he turned to Claire, fear was in his eyes, and it was as if he was grabbing out to her, he needed her to be an anchor, and she was to far away to be that. His hand lifted to the door knob, and it opened with a click. The room in front of neverin was full old dust, and pictures all over the wall, scribbles on the floor and ceiling, it was if the room had not been touched for the past thirty years, and it looked like it was owned by lunatics. It was out of place with the house, it had a different paint color and different set of furniture, the thing that intrigued him the most though! was the black table in the middle of the room, it had a picture of a women and a child, and a father whose face was scratched out, it sent chills down Neverin's spine as he looked on at the picture, the faces stared back at him with glossy dead eyes, yet they were smiling? they were smiling and yet they looked so dead, so empty yet so vibrant. He hated it "WHY, STOP SMILING, STOP SMILING AT ME DAMN IT" he yelled at the picture, his voice booming through the house, it affected the room and the room alone, everything shook, dust flew up. But the picture stood still unaffected, unharmed by his chaos, the picture was left leaving the family smiling..... but then it curled in on itself and burst into flames, he knew this was a haphazard, but all he could do was fall to his knee's as the dust settled, he knew who the people in the picture were, he had to many answers questioned in a short amount of time, to much questions arising with the downfall of suspicions. " Damn it Andrea, damn it lance, why did you have to be here" he whispered under his breath, silent was his voice settling across the floor and not traveling any further.
Neverin's Heart beat fast in his chest, it beat so hard he swore any around would be able to hear it, he was afraid of what he found, he was afraid of finding something new and losing again, why couldn't he just lock himself up and never look at anything again...... because she was here, because Claire needed him, and he needed Claire. It was an unfathomable fact that he had to deal with, he would not be able to run anymore with Claire beside him, even though she sat in her room, he felt as if she was beside him, as if he was still beside her. It was funny that when your the farthest from a person you feel so close to them. Neverin let out a sigh as he tried to reckon with what was unfolding before him, to much thinking brought tears to his eyes yet again. Everything was affecting him and he had no way to stop it " Claire... do you know who used to own this house, who used to live here.... do you know what they did?" his voice was sharper then ever before, it was as if he was holding a knife to his neck and Claire's, he did not want it to be this way, but he was angry, he was mad. The things they had done to him, they were a perfect family, but no one ever saw what went down in the kitchen, everyone thought they were perfect, but looking through the curtains showed things that no one else saw but the neighbors and him. They were the ones who caused him the pain he was going through know, no one had died for them, no one had died for him, yet they were gone. They had left without a trace, leaving there toy behind to deal with the fact that he was alone. " Do you know what they did to me, what they said, what they showed me" he was mostly talking to himself, he was berating himself.... for what happened to him, for what his family did, Claire would not understand, she had no clue, he wanted it to stay that way, but he knew she would know, he knew he would tell her, it was an inevitable occurrence; he was bound to tell her, for each time the minute ticked on he would do something different, that was how it was planned at least, he waited counting down the seconds until he would spill the secret, but as one...two... three minutes past nothing happened, he felt himself go through the different emotions but no voice could be heard, no tangible thought came to him. It confused him deeply, but he liked the silence, to much had happened, and know it was time to be silent.
Turning to look at Claire through the doorway he tried to feel happy again, he Wasn't screaming anymore, and he felt like Claire wouldn't run from him.He had his doubts at time, but he felt certain that she would stay by his side, that's what friends were for right.... was she his friend, neverin contemplated that thought, could he be considered Claire's friend, they really had only met minutes ago, what did she really want from him. So much paranoia but he could not help himself, he couldn't escape the fact that he had to doubt everything he was and everything he knew, because if he didn't his world would most likely come tumbling down on top of him "Claire, your my friend right?" his voice was soft again, his emotions switching to a more happy mood, he didn't want to go back to being angry, but the minutes were clicking down, he had only a couple a minutes to be like this " I mean, we can be friends, we only just met.... but i feel connected" he tried to explain his irrational thinking but, it only came out awkward, as if he did know what he was really going to say.