EXERCISE Theme Challenge #1 - The promise.

Discussion in 'REFINING WRITING' started by Neobullseye, Feb 14, 2014.

  1. The rules are simple: Write a story or piece of poetry that, in one way or another, revolves around a promise of some kind (any kind). There's just one thing: You need to use at least one of the below components. You are allowed to play with them, but you do need to list which one you used.

    Possible Components:
    - The promise/oath was made a long time ago.
    - The promise/oath ends/ended up being broken, either during the story or before it even started.
    - The promise/oath was made to/involves a third character.
    - The Main character is not human.
    - Nobody dies over the course of the story.
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  2. I'm going to use several of the components. See if you can spot them. After the story, I'll list them.

    Upon sitting hard on a large rock, Kisu thought about what the man had said. She had supossedly promised him something, that he was now here to get. She looked at him, trying to remember. She scratched her cat ear, and sighed. "What did I promise you?" She asked, in a small, sqeaky voice.

    "You promised me, that you would kill Tenē, and give me what's hidden under his house." The man replied.

    Kisu shook her head, Tenē was her friend, and she was secretly crushing on him. She felt herself blush, as she got lost in thoughts, but soon snapped out of it. The man screamed, and hollored.

    "Okay. Okay." Kisu replied. She stood up, "I'll do it. I promise again." She didn't know why she had said that, she didn't want to do that.

    "Okay." The man said. "You can go now."

    Kisu ran toward home, and the man called out, "Don't break the promise, neko!"

    The neko girl stopped at Tenē's house, and wondered what to do. She paced, before the door opened, to reveal a neko boy.

    "Kisu!" The neko boy said. "What are you doing here this late?"

    "Oh, Tenē." Kisu answered. "Just saying hi. And, can you tell me what's hidden under your house?"

    Tenē glanced around, and pulled Kisu inside. "Nothing." He said. "I just tell people that so they don't look in the right place for my crystal."

    Kisu smiled nervously, and whimpered. She had the knife she always carried with her, but she couldn't do it.


    Kisu still hadn't killed Tenē, and the odd man slowly approached the house she was in. He opened the door, but what was behind it surprised him.

    Kisu was standing there, sticking the knife in his chest. "This is over." She said, lodging the dagger deeper. The man fell, dead, and Kisu sighed.

    The brno girl ran to Tenē's house, and grasped him in a hug, crying. "I just broke a deal!" She sobbed. "And killed someone!"

    "What?!" Tenē asked. He closed his eyes, "Where?"

    "Right outside my house. But, promises are sacred, I'm going to be cursed!"
    The end

    - The promise/oath ends/ended up being broken, either during the story or before it even started.
    - The promise/oath was made to/involves a third character.
    - The Main character is not human.

    I know. I know. It was terrible. I'm sorry. I'm pressed for time at the moment. I need my sleep.
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  3. Oh god. It hurt.

    Her hand quivered as she painted another black stroke against the chalk white of the canvas. She choked on a sob, her heart caught in her throat. Her body rattled, and she made another mark. Had it always been like this? A storm within a world of a bleeding heart. She couldn't remember how many false promises his smile held, but she could remember those cold nights and hot caresses, the rough kisses in the dark, the promises of a future waiting to be molded, and those three words that held her world together. She felt sick. She felt volatile. She didn't know how to survive after him. She was broken, and all she could do was shake her head, in shame and disbelief. Why did she have to be the fool?

    Two quick slashes of blue marred the black stillness.

    "Please." She whispered. "Please, if you exist -- if you are listening, why did he leave?" Her voice strained to hold in another sob. "Was I not good enough? Did I do something wrong? Why am I being punished?" As the silence made no answer, stained fingers softly touched her rounding stomach; she stared at the empty spaces and stacked boxes. "I can't...I don't know if I can do this." She croaked before she moved her fingers across the canvas again.

    Red smashed against the shades of gray.

    "I'm scared."

    A smothering of yellow circled the center; then it was orange. Green. Purple. More blue. Colors faded, then blossomed. Minutes, then hours passed. The shapes evolved into details which tied the picture together. With a quick swipe of her wet brow, she stared at the transformation. She was hungry and tired. Her body ached with a fresh pain and her heart still grieved for a man she never had. But, despite it all, she felt alive. Not good, not better, and certainly not reassured, but she was alive with two strong heart-beats pulsing inside of her. She would survive.

    She sat on the floor and breathed.
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  4. I suppose I'll use a few of them. I'll figure out during my course of writing, obviously.


    Everything was just... grey.

    There was no color. It was a world where the sunlight didn't reach the ground and the cheeks of the young girl. Hopelessly wandering, trying to find out that one, single answer. The answer that had been hidden away behind curtains inside her mind, clouding away her true purpose.
    Her life had been like that for a long time. Ever since that voice in her head had came to an abrupt end. The voice hadn't just been a voice. It had told her things. It had said to her many times that she was okay, that she was nothing strange, that she was going to break out of her mental jail.
    But it had all been empty promises. All of it had been ruined when the voice, or, Lucas, as she had named him, disappeared from her forever. He had left a hole in her heart, and he had promised to come back. So many years had passed, and her grey body remained the same. It was colorless, never changing and always the same, wandering across a sea of grey, a desert of grey, eventually until she gave up on finding what was on the other side of all the grey colors and shades.
    But she reached a new color eventually. Now, the world was red. Her body remained grey but everything around her was red. It was unnerving, but she resumed her wandering.
    Even if her heart was left behind. Even if she wouldn't be able to reach him. Even if she'd be gone soon, there was nothing to do but move on. Because if she reached the rainbow, that colorful world, she'd find her answer. The answer to that promise so many years ago.

    'I'll be back soon.'

    What did it mean? Why did Lucas tell her that? There was no reason for him to leave her.

    She forced her body through all of the red, hoping to see an end of it all soon. Strings were pulling at her from the inside, ripping her heart out of her chest, followed by her soul, and until her body was ripped apart.

    She saw a flash of white in the red, and sought towards it. It got closer, closer... it was a dress. Eventually, a girl as well. She was turned away. Closer, and closer. When the two girls were face to face, she gasped.

    That girl was--

    The sound of the TV echoes in the empty living room. It was on a news channel, and a woman was speaking. Her voice cut through the silence. "This evening, a woman was injured badly in a car accident. She was run over while on her way to see her husband who was late to come home. She has been in comatose ever since, and the doctors are worried that she is not going to wake up again."

    It was white this time. But there was a hint of blue. Her vision was blurred, everything was so bright. She could see the outline of a person with the sun in their back. The voice echoed in her head once again, it was Lucas' voice again.

    'I told you I'd be back soon.'

    ... Or so it said.
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  5. The promise Made Long Ago

    It was a promise,
    I made long ago,
    to myself,

    A promise I must keep,
    I will not give in,
    I shall not fail,

    I will protect,
    the earth,
    my friends,
    the innocent,

    I will not let him win,
    I must stay strong,
    No matter what,
    I will not destroy,
    my friends,

    I will keep my promise,
    I shall succeed,
    I will not obey,

    I must find another way,
    I will not give into my destiny,
    But go my own way,

    I will keep this promise,
    Even if I must abandon my friends,
    For there is only one way,

    I hate that it has come to this,
    But a promise I have made,
    And to keep this promise,
    I am afraid,
    My friends must do an awful deed,
    This deed Is for the better good,

    It will protect,
    The earth,
    My friends,
    and the innocent,

    But me it must end,
    For I have made a promise,
    And this is the only way,

    My friends may think of another,
    But I am afraid,
    That for me to leave,
    Is truly the only way.