Discussion in 'THREAD ARCHIVES' started by Krang, Mar 10, 2010.

  1. In life, I'm really, really happy. Not annoyingly bubbly, but witty and smiley and all. I mean, there are moments when I blast Ministry and mope about, but that's because I feel like being broody that day. I expel my dark emotions in writing. Not like emo moping-s and poetry and crying and stuff, but my darkest wishes of evil on others. That way, since in a way, I have gotten my revenge, I can forgive and forget(Occasionally, the black stain on my soul widens a bit, but so does everyone else.) and continue my life without any more ill wish to that person. Coming back to Iwaku though, my insta-on-the-spot stories have started to annoy people and people have gotten angry with me

    "Hey man, it was funny how depraved you were the first time. STFU now."

    Slyen was more tactful with his approach

    "Why don't you get your own thread in the Arts & Writing area, and put all your stuff there."

    And so I am. All my lightest(The dark stuff would have people running about worried about my mental health(I hope(TRIPLEPARENTHESIS!!!!))) side of the dark side, listed below. Hope I'm not breaking any rules.

    I was about to post this in the "Redo-ing Twilight" Thread before I had my revelation that it might be annoying to those seriously considering the thread, as I forever fail to do. I suck at being serious overall.


    So, it starts off, with the camera panning over the river, right? Just this wide, Spanish river.(It's in Sephia tint, of course.) And it zooms around in circle sand stuff, loops the loop, whatever. Then, it does a double twist and a summersault, then the camera rushes over the bank, and plunges down, camera point at the sky, into the ground, down some sort of shaft. It then stops suddenly, as if it impacted. A cloud of dust is thrown up. We hear an agonized groaning, after the initial scream. We hear the putting of an engine for a while after, as the camera just stares up the shaft, to a soundtrack of something like "AAAAGHHGHHGAAA, AAH....*gasp, huff, gasp* FUACAAGHAHAAHA AAAAAA!!!!!!!!!!" and assorted sounds.

    Then, the engine sounds stop, and fifteen minutes later(don't forget the agonized screaming) and a face peers over the lid of the distant mine shaft opening. The audience hears a laughing sound.

    "YOU LIKE THAT, YOU ****ING TRAITOROUS BASTARD!!!!!???" Cackling is heard. The head sits over the lip of the shaft, looking down on the agonized camera-holder, whoever he may be.

    "So, I brought us some toys, to entertain us while we wait for 911 in Canada to respond to my call." The man holding the camera managed to speak, his voice thick with pain.

    "Why.....why are you doing....AAAH....huh...*gaspgaspgasp*.....why are you doing this!?"

    "CAUSE YOU FUCKED MY WIFE YOU BACKSTABBING DICKWEED!" The man roared down. "Now, this is how it's going to go. I have a pack of knives here. Every time you yell, 'I am a traitorous bastard and I deserve to die, kill me!' I will drop one knife. If you don't, I will drop two knives every ten seconds. I will wait a minute after each time you yell that. I will aim for your neck, except when you are silent. I happen to have bought sixteen one hundred mini-knife packs, so we're gonna be here a while. Either way though, you aren't getting out alive. I also have a bucket of lemon juice here, salt, and a .45 for the small chance you survive the knives. You won't. Now, we'll start in a couple minutes, I just need to grab the camera and we'll be off." The head disappears for a couple seconds. He comes back holding a golf bag.

    "Now, lets start. Say it." The cameraman simply groaned. After a couple moments the man at the top of the shaft laughs with glee, and disappears reappearing with a gleaming object held out.

    "3!....2!....1!..." The object descended towards the agonized man. It disappears, and the audience hears a meaty Thud! and then the cameraman lets out a piercing wail.

    "OOOOH, GOD....AAAHH..... SHIT.........AAHHHHHH!!!!!!!" He screeched.

    "AND NUMBER TWO, YOU F***ING F*****!!" The man's heartbeat is heard, even as he gasps loudly, letting out small squeaks of anger. A low whine is heard as another shiny object falls down the shaft.

    "No..no...no...pleas-" He escalated into another shriek of agony as the second knife embeds itself in his stomach.

    "You've got ten seconds, buddy."
    "I DESERVE TO....AAAAAAHHHHH!!!" He screamed again. The man at the top of the shaft laughs heartily.
    "That's not what I said..." He said, smiling.
    "I DON'T REMEMBER, HONESTLY, ***** ***** MAN!!!"
    "Well, you're going to have a fun time here then." He disappeared.
    "OH, GOD NO, NONONONON...PLEASE...TELL ME AGAIN!!" The man's heartbeat is going again, faster, as he panics, he fumbles with the words..
    "I'll take it." He disappeared, reappearing with another knife in hand. He closed one eye, taking aim, and let it drop. The whistle approached, and the heartbeat quickens, then stops. The camera falls away to the side. A gurgling is heard. Rustling is heard from above, and something is thrown down the. A splashing sound follows, then the clatter of a the bucket as it bounces away. A frenzied, guttural, wail emits.

    "Aaaaaand, I'm spent. See you in hell, asshole." The man disappears. The audience sits there, shocked, and wait. Fifty minutes later, nothing happens, some people start filtering out, muttering and cursing under their breath. An hour and a half passes, and more of the people begin to leave, angrily talking amongst themselves. Three hours later, night falls over the cameraman, who occasionally makes weak hiccup noises. A hour later, these cease. The only man left in the theatre(he's asleep.) hears a rustling. A second later, the camera is picked up, and swung around. It jiggles, and is pointed down. The feet of the cameraman is shown, with knives protruding from the mangled legs. The camera jigs wildly about more, then is slung over the back of the man. The camera shows the back and legs of the man, as he begins to climb, slowly back up the passage. Eventually, after about forty minutes of climbing, the camera points briefly up at the horizon as the man reaches the lip of the shaft.

    It swings around a bit, as he climbs to his feet. It points at the face of Gerard Butler, with a knife protruding from his throat. He smiles briefly, then the screen goes dark. The rest of the movie is Gerard Butler killing a lot of people in his quest for revenge. Oh, wait...that's been done before. Oh well.


    There were four more paragraphs, but it was repetitive agony. I've cannibalized the names too and movie-d it.
  2. I LOVED IT!
  3. Thanks TK. That's a good feeling. I guess I could add more depravity.

    Where'd I put Belinda?
  4. So it has been a while since we last sat down and watched anime movies together, and I want to bring people to see some interesting titles again. While there is no set date yet, I want to see how many of you are interested in an upcoming back-to-back two movie screening.

    Here are the possible titles we can watch:
    Kizumonogatari I and Kizumonogatari II (Back to Back)


    March 25th—just another day during spring break.

    Koyomi Araragi, a second year high school student at Naoetsu High School, befriends Tsubasa Hanekawa, the top honors student at his school. Tsubasa mentions a rumor about a "blonde vampire" that has been sighted around their town recently. Koyomi, who is usually anti-social, takes a liking to Tsubasa's down-to-earth personality.

    That evening, Koyomi encounters this rumored vampire: she is Kiss-shot Acerola-orion Heart-under-blade, also known as the "King of Apparitions." The blonde, golden-eyed vampire cries out for Koyomi to save her as she lies in a pool of her own blood, all four of her limbs cut off.

    Kiss-shot asks Koyomi to give her his blood in order to save her life, and when he does, the very next moment he awakes, Koyomi finds himself re-born as her vampire kin.

    As Koyomi struggles to accept his existence, Kiss-shot whispers,

    "Welcome to the world of darkness..."

    (Source: Aniplex USA)

    If we go with Kizumonogatari, we watch the two parts for the screening.

    Other choices that have to be paired up are:

    Perfect Blue (pair with another standalone movie)


    J-pop idol group CHAM! has spent the last two years entertaining its fans. Sadly, all good things must come to an end, and CHAM! must see one of its members, Mima Kirigoe, leave the group to pursue her acting career. While Mima's choice is met with a mixed response, she hopes her fans will continue to support her.

    However, Mima's life begins to change drastically after her departure from the group. Wanting to shed her pop-idol image, she takes on a role in a crime drama series, and her career as an actress gradually becomes more demanding and taxing for both Mima and her manager, Rumi Hidaka. To add to Mima's growing unease, an obsessed fan who is incapable of accepting that Mima has quit being an innocent idol, begins stalking her; a new anonymous website begins to impersonate her life with intricate detail; and CHAM! also appears to be doing better without her. One by one, each disturbing development drives Mima to become increasingly unhinged and unable to distinguish reality from fantasy.

    Millenium Actress (pair with another standalone movie)


    At the turn of the millennium, Ginei Studio's dilapidated buildings are set to be demolished. Ex-employee and filmmaker Genya Tachibana decides to honor this occasion with a commemorative documentary about the company's star actress: Chiyoko Fujiwara, the reclusive sweetheart of Shouwa Era cinema. Having finally obtained permission to interview the retired starlet, an enamored Genya drags along cynical cameraman Kyouji Ida to meet her, ready to put his lifelong idol back in the spotlight once more.

    Hidden in this secluded mountain retreat is a thousand years of history condensed into one lifetime, waiting to be narrated. Chiyoko's recollections take them on an illusionary journey through Japanese cinematic history that transcends the boundaries of reality; the saga of her acting career intertwines with her filmography, the actors in her life blend seamlessly with the characters on screen, and the present melds with the past. Though the actress may have retired at the height of her career 30 years ago, the curtain on her life's stage has yet to fall.

    Jin-Rou: The Wolf Brigade (pair with another standalone movie)


    After witnessing the suicide bombing of a terrorist girl, Constable Kazuki Fuse becomes haunted by her image, and is forced to undergo retraining for his position in the Capital Police's Special Unit. However, unknown to him, he becomes a key player in a dispute between Capital and Local Police forces, as he finds himself increasingly involved with the sister of the very girl he saw die.

    AKIRA (pair with another standalone movie)


    Japan, 1988. An explosion caused by a young boy with psychic powers tears through the city of Tokyo and ignites the fuse that leads to World War III. In order to prevent any further destruction, he is captured and taken into custody, never to be heard from again. Now, in the year 2019, a restored version of the city known as Neo-Tokyo—an area rife with gang violence and terrorism against the current government—stands in its place. Here, Shoutarou Kaneda leads "the Capsules," a group of misfits known for riding large, custom motorcycles and being in constant conflict with their rivals "the Clowns."

    During one of these battles, Shoutarou's best friend Tetsuo Shima is caught up in an accident with an esper who finds himself in the streets of Tokyo after escaping confinement from a government institution. Through this encounter, Tetsuo begins to develop his own mysterious abilities, as the government seeks to quarantine this latest psychic in a desperate attempt to prevent him from unleashing the destructive power that could once again bring the city to its knees.
  5. very nice very very nice i enjoyed it much
  6. *is caught playing with the ball*

  7. It's not done yet, I have a Wordpad file. >.>

    Inspiration is having sex with other men for a while D:<

  9. D:

    *Desperate phone call to inspiration*
  10. *Beats with a telescope*

    POST IT!
  11. Nuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuu!

    *Tortures rap fanatics sullenly in his basement while he waits for the poison to work on the traitorous bastards system*
  12. I won't be closing the clan for a while. In fact i'll likely leave it to the staff, so you've got a good bit.
  13. <3

    It's hero worship drivel about Commissar Asmodeus.
  14. ....Waiting.