Cullen's heart swelled with relief when Vashedan appeared, without Hawke at his side. He respected both men greatly, but he'd always disagreed with Cassandra in her theory that Hawke was the one they needed. Hakwe had been the man Kirkwall had needed, but Vashedan was the one for them. Herald or otherwise. He felt intensely for the other man when no words came for him and moved to be at his side, to start off something for the other man to take over, but Mother Giselle, in all her wisdom, thought song was what they needed. Cullen heard his own voice spill from him, and the ancient words on his tongue lifted his spirits.
Hawke wanted to laugh. He elbowed Fenris lightly and couldn't contain a few snorts. "If only we'd known this song when the templars were murdering mages in the streets. We'd have solved everything. We could have sang it to the Arishock too." He offered a smirk to Vashedan and let Fenris lead him away, tangling his fingers with the elf's. He sought shelter at the fire with him, watching over the flames as he received a barrage of dirty looks. He glanced at Fenris when he made the singing comment and couldn't help but laugh aloud. "I would rather your body and country roads to singing in the snow, you know that." He brought his lover's hand to his mouth and kissed his sharp knuckles. "We need to be here."
Cullen watched wistfully as Vashedan again returned to the half circle, giving Solas a bit of a skeptical look. He didn't care much for the elf, he was far too self-interested in his opinion. "Leave now?" He frowned and thought for a moment, or at least tried to over Cassandra's exclamations. She was an earnest, honest woman, but her heart was quicker than her mind and her sword arm quicker still. He sighed and rubbed at his forehead when Vashedan called on him. Something like a blush crept up his neck and over his ears at the attention, though he either could or would not tell why. Cullen licked his lips in concentration, eyeing the distance Solas had indicated, then around them at their ragtag little following.
In times past, he'd not made good decisions under pressure. He'd wanted to kill an entire tower of people, almost given his full support to a woman who drove herself mad. He glanced at Hawke watching with sharp golden eyes, then to Cassandra's heavy glare. But it was Vashedan's gaze that he really sought. He searched his friend's weary gaze then nodded. "Better sore feet and a few coughs than being slaughtered while we sleep. We march to Skyhold." His hand found the Qunari's thick bicep and squeezed briefly in a show of solidarity before he marched off to prepare the forced march.
Hawke puffed his pipe and chuckled, hand resting on Fenris's. "See, it's not all a sing-a-long."
Cullen shouted commands to the right people and in a matter of half an hour fires were doused, tents and bedrolls packed, and the fine horses they'd been gifted were loaded and ready to go. Cullen returned to Vashedan's side once the movement was in the right direction, striding alongside him. He let it be silent for a few moments in the dark and the cold, the man's heavy yet measured footfalls beside him providing a comforting rhythm that appealed to Cullen's military lifestyle. When it seemed right, namely when they seemed more alone, Cullen glanced up at him. "I am…I am glad you live. I hadn't had much time to think about what I…we would do without you but…" He frowned down at his boots. "It doesn't matter I suppose. I know I'm happy to have you here with us. And I'm eternally grateful that you came back to us." To me. Were the words unspoken, but something in the fragility of whatever was forming between them prevented him from saying something so intimate.
Thinking about being with another man was frightening enough but the consideration of being with a Qunari on top of that, and then the man who was already the unnamed Inquisitor frightened him to the bone. Not that he even knew Vashedan wanted anything to do with him, The Iron Bull had explained to him one night drinking that sex is just sex to Qunari along with a whole other load of information about The Bull's sexual habits that Cullen had next to no interest in. But here he was, walking beside Vashedan like a hopeful young girl following around the object of her affections. It felt dangerous, but he didn't have it in him to deny himself the hope. He squinted ahead of them and watched Hawke pull a young man out of a snow bank and couldn't help but roll his eyes. Garret Hawke was an enigma.
Garret shoved the teenager forward and jabbed a finger at him. "Test the snow before you put all your weight into it." He walked ahead and continued to scout the edges of the group, keeping a wary eye on the skies. "Have we ever fucked in snow, Fenris?" He shouted over his shoulder, earning a few glances, namely raucous laughter from The Iron Bull and a smirk of approval from Dorian. Hawke paused on a rock and squinted at the dawn breaking ahead of them. "I don't think I'd like it much." He continued the long distance conversation, waiting for his companion to catch up."This is going to be a terrible journey." He jabbed a finger at the distant fortress. "But it is…big."
