- Posting Speed
- Speed of Light
- Writing Levels
- Douche
- Preferred Character Gender
- No Preferences

Paste a post into this thread. You can use your own if you want, but it's often harder to see the faults in your creations. So it's better to find someone else's post - so that you're coming to it without any foreknowledge.
Remember, no one in the Writing School is allowed to get uptight and take offence. Only through total honesty and rough love can writers actually improve. So if anyone takes offence they will be receiving a PM from me. >:[
Using the post you've chosen, do the following:
1. Find THREE words and use the [ s] [ /s] tags to cross them out. Then, in red, put "BETTER WORD:...." then an alternative word that makes a more powerful/emotional impact.
2. Find a dead sentence. Cross it out and, in red, write "LIVE SENTENCE:... " followed by a rewrite of the sentence to make it come alive.
3. Find THREE unnecessary adverbs or adjectives and cross them out. In red, write "NOT NEEDED" and offer alternatives if needed.
4. On a piece of description, try to find a metaphor that is shorter and achieves the same effect. Write "METAPHOR:..." then the metaphor.
Here's an example - Diana's recent post in This One Realm
[bg=#090b07]
Kargon's
Her hazy thoughts realized that this might be the perfect moment for an escape! Oralia jerked her hand free from Prestadeath and turned on a heel. But before she could start running she
This is our first challenge, so don't worry if it's crap (like my metaphor above), or if you can't find 3 of each. Just do your best. As long as you show that you're getting it, that's good enough for me.