The Ties That Bind

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Maxim was content to let her handle pancakes, just rolling the sausage links back and forth in the pan periodically and idly watching her work. Each time a plate got pancakes on it, he put a few links on as well to complete it. Simon was first to get up and take a plate with a somewhat sleepy thanks, having been smoked out of his place on the couch by Aether's body heat. The smell of food drew Marina next, then eventually Bella, who handed Amethyst off to the others while she went to wash up.

"We've been here a few times," Maxim explained, leaving the pan alone to butter and cut up pancakes for Amethyst to eat after she finished gnawing sleepily on what Simon had given her off his own plate. "But there are a few other places we've been before as well. It's hard to find space where there's somewhere to disappear, so sometimes we drive for longer, or find somewhere more remote to stay. It's easier for Simon to go here, though, so we've come back a few times in the last year or two."

Being out in the middle of the woods by himself with nothing but a tent around, or having to come with them when they went running off, was not ideal for their poor human companion. As long as there was still access to open land where humans weren't meant to be nearby, it was good to know he had somewhere relatively 'civilized' to stay.
 
By the time each plate had been stacked full with pancakes and bacon, the others started trickling in. She greeted each of them with a smile and a good morning, setting out the food and various condiments. "Oh yeah, that makes sense." It must be difficult for Simon to have everybody disappear all day while he was stuck in a tent with nothing to do. Though in her opinion, pitching a tent in the middle of nowhere, with so much beautiful scenery to explore and a book or two, sounded like heaven. Granted, she'd miss the convenience of a bathroom and hot shower, but still.

Once everything was plated up for everyone, she took a small portion for herself, sitting down in one of the spare chairs.
 
Simon was their most recent addition, besides Madeline, but that didn't make him any less important. Even if it was a bit more difficult at times to find somewhere that worked both for them and for him, Maxim knew he wasn't the only one happy to accommodate. It was part of the give and take of a proper pack. Just as Simon did what he could to look out for them, the others were all just as ready to take care of him in whatever ways he needed.

In the same vein, Maxim had begun to notice even more how Madeline only took a portion of food on par with their resident human's eating habits, and couldn't help being a bit concerned about it. Oscar and the children came back as they were wrapping up the cooking, and while he decided to eat standing at the counter to leave room for them at the table Maxim did snag a leftover pancake, walk to the table, and drop it on Madeline's plate before going back to his own place. When she looked at him, he only raised an eyebrow slightly as if to see if she would challenge him on it, more questioning than any sort of demand. If she didn't want to eat it, she didn't have to. He didn't think she was dangerously underfed, there was just a part of him that couldn't help being overly cautious about her health.

Breakfast was a bit of a noisy affair, the children free to be a bit loud now that everyone was awake and eagerly tell everyone about the bugs they'd found and the gopher they likely would have tried to catch if their father hadn't stopped them. Simon got them to engage a bit more quietly in deciding what sort of game to play when they were done eating, but there was no shortage of conversation. Aether was the only one who sat out, staying on the couch seemingly for the lack of available chairs at a table not truly meant to hold them all, but Maxim could read the tension in his shoulders easily enough when they both knew what was coming. Before he and Madeline left, he reassured the young wolf briefly that everything would be all right, signing with his back to the others just to keep anyone from 'overhearing'.

Finally, when everyone had eaten and begun to split up to finish readying themselves for the day, he gave Madeline a smile. "Let me go change and wash my face and I'll be ready to go."
 
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Much like she had on the very first night she'd met them, she was quiet while she ate, letting their conversation wash over her while she was lost in her own thoughts. However, unlike back then, when she'd been beset by a ridiculous number of troubles, not that they had lessened any, this was a comfortable silence. She was still paying attention, and was ready to respond at once if anyone were to engage her in conversation, but for the most part she just let her mind wander.

She was distractedly staring off into space when the pancake plopped onto her plate, she blinked a little in surprise, before glancing up at Maxim in confusion. Though she was frowning a little, she didn't seem to be too upset, lowering her gaze as she picked up her fork to finish it. Even though she really didn't feel all that hungry, well... not that hungry anyway, there was nothing that she hated more than wasting food, so she'd eat it without complaint.

Once she'd finished, she busied herself with washing and tidying away the dishes. "Okay, no rush." She answered Maxim with a soft smile, whatever annoyance she might have felt over his fussing seemingly gone for now. Having finished with the cleaning, she headed to the front to put on her shoes, figuring she'd wait for him outside.
 
With Simon around having to spend time by himself, and the little ones to think of, their daily wolf walks were something that only happened between lunch and dinner, these days. Maxim was confident Simon would be fine by himself, but the children had been raised as city wolves and he knew even if they were convinced to hunt seriously they wouldn't take well to eating raw meat. Opal, at least, he was sure would be upset about killing the squirrels or rabbits she thought were cute, and in a modern world it wasn't so necessary that she learn to hunt for herself. Maxim was not an alpha that would force them to learn.

It didn't take him long at all to wash his face, brush his teeth, and quickly change clothes. Shortly after Madeline had finished helping clean and gone out to wait, he followed without much rush. When he had told the pack he and Madeline were going for a walk he hadn't offered for anyone else to go, and it was enough to let them all realize that he wanted time alone with her. It was easy enough to smile for her and talk quietly as they started to walk, guiding her with him and explaining that a short ways down the paved human trails there was an unpaved dirt trail that was less traveled but still a pretty enough walk, and easier on two feet. It would give them enough privacy to talk freely.

"I do just enjoy your company," he said as they walked at a leisurely pace, giving her a little smile and reaching out briefly to rest a hand at the back her shoulders, as if to guide her with him or offer comfort. "But I also wanted to check in and see how you're doing. How are you settling in with the others? Is there anything you want to tell me, or anything you want to ask?"

A lot had happened, and he feared with all the attention their injuries had brought them she hadn't had proper time to grieve, or at least to express her grief. If there were any problems she was having meshing with the rest of the pack, no matter how small, he would do his best to make sure she was accommodated. She could already see them doing it with Simon, so it wouldn't be a far leap to say small changes could be made for her as well.
 
"Yeah, I'm... actually doing okay right now." She said softly, sounding a little hesitant, but she was being sincere. "I mean, I miss Doc, a lot." That was obviously quite the understatement, she might not be expressing her grief in front of the others, or at least not obviously, but the picture of the two of them never really left her side. If anyone could see her during the rare times she was alone, it would reveal just how much of a devastating blow his loss was to her heart. "But I sort of feel like I'm in limbo, if that makes sense...?" Her voice was soft as she kept her gaze on the trees lining the path, still finding being completely vulnerable difficult. She knew Doc was gone, and she was grieving, but until she was able to spread his ashes and lay him to rest properly, she felt stuck, like she couldn't begin to try and move on. Not that it would be easy to do that, or quick, but having Maxim, Marina... friends to lean on, it made her hopeful.

She shook her head a little, "anyway, yeah, I think... well, I hope it's going alright." She said with a soft shrug, addressing his question about settling in with the others, sounding more nonchalant than she actually felt. "Everyone's been... great." She said with a soft smile, speaking nothing but the truth, Simon and Marina especially, and even Aether seemed to hate her less. "It... makes me feel guilty..." She admitted softly, thinking of earlier that morning.
 
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Maxim nodded along, giving only soft, thoughtful hums as she expressed herself in order to allow her the time, uninterrupted. He was aware that grieving was a strange process, that one could be fine one moment and not the next, and also that expressing herself verbally wasn't something Madeline was used to. It was all right for her to only give him the words she was ready for, then. Some day, perhaps, it would be easier to share more in depth feelings, but it was all right to be 'okay' for now.

"Healing isn't linear," he said softly, a quote from who knew where that he had heard once and felt was wholly accurate. "It's normal for there to be periods of nothing in between more difficult feelings. Just, don't hesitate to come to me if you need anything, all right?" Whether it was a shoulder to cry on, someone to talk to, or just to have companionship and sit in silence, he would give her whatever she needed to the best of his ability.

"Do you . . . feel like you don't deserve to be here?" He hazarded after a pause to consider, his voice gentle and expression relaxed as he tried to encourage her to speak. "Is that where the guilt comes from?" She had expressed before that she felt indebted, and Maxim thought at least some of her criminal history played into the apparent guilt, but he couldn't be sure until she said it. After others less deserving, in her mind, had died, he could imagine that some of it was survivors guilt as well. If there was anything he could do to alleviate it, he only hoped she would let him.
 
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She paused for a moment, before letting out a soft sigh and nodding a little. "Yesterday was... just one of the best days I've had in a long time." "I was just... happy, and I shouldn't be." "Farkas had me delivering that poison, breaking into places, and..." She trailed off, not wanting to get into the details, shame in her voice. "All that crap." She summarised instead, her gaze still focused on the trees, it was easier to express herself when she wasn't looking at him. "Flynn and Doc, two of the kindest, sweetest, greatest men who ever lived, are dead, both because of me, and yet, where am I?" "I'm free, I'm alive, I'm happy... and that's not right... it's not fair." Her voice was soft, quiet, but the shame and heavy guilt she carried was obvious in her tone, there was even an undercurrent of anger and self-hatred.

"And... you guys have all been so nice to me." She finally turned to glance at him for a moment, "don't get me wrong, I'm incredibly grateful, but I don't deserve it." "In the short time I've been living with you guys, Aether got hurt, and you could have died... because of me." She sighed softly and shook her head a little, feeling a little embarrassed at how much she'd just unloaded on him. "I'm sorry, I didn't mean to just... ramble on like that."
 
Again, Maxim was sure to listen, not breaking in to insist upon the idea that she was allowed to be happy despite her past, only waiting for her to get out what she felt she needed to. It was heartening that she felt safe enough to say the words aloud, though it did still settle something empathetic and sad in his gut at the pain in her voice. So much suffering, poured upon just one person. She wasn't the first or the last to hold so much pain, but she was dear enough to him that it hurt more than it would with a stranger.

"It's all right," he reassured gently, pausing when she looked at him to let her work through the feeling, and reached a hand out to take one of hers only when she seemed done, guiding her further away from where there might be prying ears if they lingered. "I may be perceptive, but I'm no mind reader. . . Thank you for telling me. I know it can be hard." Sharing pain was never an easy thing, and she had gotten so used to holding it all by herself.

"The world is an unfair place," he said as they started to walk slowly on again, deeper into where the cover of trees and brush grew thicker, more comforting, and would keep her hand in his if she let him. "Some that deserve to be punished never see consequences, and others that don't deserve it often do. . . I didn't know him well, but I know enough to tell you that all Doc would have wanted was for you to be safe and happy, even with him gone. If I should pass before my time, I would want the same for you all." As a proper alpha, after having suffered loss and struggle, Maxim knew for an absolute certain that Doc would never have wanted her to think she had to suffer because of him. It was why he had passed the torch, however silently, that day in the ambulance. It was Maxim's duty to keep her safe now, and to help her find happiness.

"I won't say that your part in things was nonexistent,' he continued after a pause, not wanting to push too hard on her grief just yet, "but I'm not of the belief that just because someone has made some mistakes in their life they're automatically a terrible person and deserve to be unhappy forever. I'm sure, at first, you had no idea what you were delivering, and afterwards there wasn't much choice." He gave a soft, almost bitter huff that wasn't quite a laugh, shaking his head at the idea that she might have caused their pain. "To be fair, he might get into fights even without you to defend, and I don't tend to stay particularly safe myself, some days. . . Perhaps it will help a little, knowing that you aren't the only one with a troubled past. Marina, of course, you already know, but . . . I've gotten Aether to agree to share, if you feel up to listening."

Aether couldn't tell her the story himself, of course, not unless she very quickly picked up ASL, and wasn't going to go so far as to write it all down, but that was part of why they were walking away from where they might possibly encounter humans. As much as he wanted her to be able to speak freely, he had a few things he needed to say as well. If the terrible story he offered didn't bring her any comfort, she did at least deserve to know who exactly she was living with.
 
She looked a little surprised when he took her hand, but she didn't pull away, tightening her grip to hold his back as she let him lead her deeper into the trees. The path they'd been on had already been empty, but it was more isolated deeper into the woods, and just a place she felt more comfortable in anyway. So much so, that she wondered, not for the first time, why'd she run away to the city in the first place. She'd had her reasons, good, logical reasons too, and she really hadn't had any other options, but still, she'd never felt as relaxed as she did then when she was surrounded by nature. Besides, if she'd never come to the city, she never would have gotten involved with Farkas and Doc would still be around, maybe... probably not...

Deep down, she knew that wasn't really true, Doc had been suffering for a long time, and when she'd first met him, he'd been in a very bad place, so had she. They'd bonded over their shared pain and grief, and they'd helped each other, it was likely that if they'd never met, he would have just died sooner, and maybe she... well... it was best not to think about it too much. Still, blaming herself had become second nature to her at this point, so she couldn't help but dwell over what ifs. Fleeing to the city had been one of the worst things she could have done, it had led to a lot of pain, but also, it was one of the best. Doc had been a true friend, he had helped her get through one of the worst times in her life, and she would always be grateful to have met him. And now, there was Maxim, who'd given her another chance, offered her a place in his pack, a pack made up of some of the nicest people she'd ever met... If she had the chance to go back and change things, would she?

Such questions were ultimately pointless, and irrelevant right now, so she forced herself to focus on the present. "Yeah... you can say that again." She agreed softly when he mentioned the world being unfair, and that people often weren't punished when they should be, thinking of Farkas, the men who killed Doc's family, everyone involved in Flynn's death, her father... Too many, far, far too many. "You're right." She said softly when he mentioned what Doc would have wanted, the man had told her as much himself. "I know you're right, but that almost makes it worse."

She hadn't known at first, and once she'd learned the truth, she'd tried to make things right, but she was too late, she was trapped under Farkas's thumb with no way out. She didn't speak up to confirm that though, too distracted by his next words. "Uh... alright..." "If you think that would help..." She wasn't really sure how it would, but if he wanted to tell her, and Aether was alright with it, she'd listen. Based on what Marina had told her, and the all too familiar behaviours she'd noticed with Aether, she had her suspicions about his past. And judging by the scars he bore, the fact that he didn't speak, and how he'd reacted in the fight and afterwards at the hospital, she had no doubt it was a tragic tale.
 
It wasn't out of the ordinary that she didn't want to believe him, at first. Maxim was sure that she knew, somewhere inside, that those she had lost would want her to find happiness somewhere even without them.

"If it doesn't help you understand that I believe in second chances," he said with a nod, decisive despite the uncertainty that still lingered around the subject, "you're with us now. You deserve to know. . . I should preface it first, i think, by explaining that someone who is brought up in the presence of other shifters and raised alongside them may have a different sort of moral compass than you might expect. Some things that aren't accepted by the world at large are things a born and raised wolf might not even see as a crime. It's why the HED exists, with human and non-human agents to take in cases and help reach a sort of middle ground, to find a way to coexist that isn't mayhem, but doesn't see shifters constantly behind bars." That was an issue they could go into more thoroughly at a later date. He just wanted to set her expectations first.

"Does that make sense?" He asked, looking back at her briefly until he had an affirmative, and giving her hand a gentle squeeze before he pressed on. "In any case, the pack Aether grew up in was rather rural, perhaps 30 strong and a decent drive from the nearest town. His father became alpha when he was just a baby. At first, I gather, he might have been a decent man. But he was weak, and the lure of power was too much for him. His rule was one of fear; if anyone disobeyed, they were hurt. If they challenged him, they were put down. Aether saw it all as he got older, and experienced it firsthand. His old man was the one that taught him to fight. To be strong. To be obeyed. Grooming him to take over some day. Others in the pack still had the right to challenge, of course, but after the first attempt or two they were all what he wanted them to be: afraid.

"I'm told as he got older, Aether witnessed the man hurt people often - saw him cripple his older cousin for his defiance, and break his younger sister's jaw for speaking out of turn. Their mother should have protected them, but part of her was disillusioned, or perhaps she was just afraid too. 'He only hits you when he's angry. If you could just stop making him angry.' That sort. And Aether, he saw his pack and his family in pain, and couldn't find a solution. . . So he warned a handful of people he thought he could trust, went on a hunt with his father, and waited until they were deep into the woods to take the man by surprise."

Maxim was quiet for a moment, the only sounds from around them their quiet footsteps in the dirt and distant birdsong, letting it sink in. Finally, he gave a soft sigh, as if the whole affair had him weary just thinking of it. "He was only sixteen. The attempt nearly killed him, and he was young, and scared, and traumatized. He had known that if he didn't kill the man he would only return and become a threat to everyone again, but knew his mother would never see it that way. He couldn't look her in the eyes again. So he limped off to pick up a bag of supplies, wrapped his wounds as best he could, and didn't stop moving until his home was far behind him. I didn't find him until months later."

He didn't like to think very hard about how he had found the teen, dirty and starving, bloody from fights he couldn't stop getting into, with scars still pink as they continued to heal. But after Maxim had approached peacefully, gentle like he would a cornered animal, he hadn't fought. By then, Maxim thought, the younger wolf had thought himself into such downward spirals of guilt that he was finally able to accept death or imprisonment as consequence. He had never expected mercy.
 
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By the time Maxim had finished speaking, she felt almost sick with empathetic grief for the suffering Aether went through. His story didn't surprise her, she could have guessed most of it, but it didn't make it any less awful. It was so much like her own, a so-called father who terrorised his family, ruling over them through fear and abuse. Of course her father had been human, so she hadn't had to deal with the added strength of a shifter, and knowing Aether's father was also alpha, she was sure that only added to his power over Aether and made the young wolfs pain that much worse.

"Wow... just... wow." She murmured softly, seemingly at a loss for words for the moment. Her heart broke for Aether, his family, but she was also angry, at his father obviously, but also at his mother who had failed to protect him and his sister. She knew she couldn't truly judge the woman, she hadn't been there, she didn't know all the details, maybe the woman had tried to run, and she knew how easy it was to wind up in a situation where you couldn't get out. Still, she couldn't help but picture Aether, his sister, scared and in pain, powerless, like she and Flynn had been, and their mother doing nothing to keep them safe.

And yet, she could still empathise with her too, what she told Aether, 'He only hits you when he's angry. If you could just stop making him angry.' It was what she used to tell herself, that it was her fault, that if she could only stop upsetting her father, then he would stop hurting them. As if accidentally dropping a plate, or forgetting to sweep the porch after school was justification for what he did, but even when she was a child she knew deep down it wasn't true. If it was, then how did you explain his abuse when she was simply existing? When he decided to lash out simply because she seemed to be experiencing a brief moment of joy, and he couldn't stand it and had to destroy it?

Her hand was still in Maxims, her fingers interlaced with his, but she seemed almost unaware of it, her gaze focused on the path ahead of them. "I... thank you for telling me that story." She said softly, still trying to figure out what to say.
 
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Madeline was quiet, no gasps of horror to be heard, her hand still resting warm and solid in his. When he looked at her, a sort of weariness in his expression but not the sorrow that it had once been years ago, he found no protest in her. She was sympathetic to a child facing abuse, of course. He hadn't expected anything less. He was only grateful that things had gone well so far, as he had promised Aether they would, and she wasn't disgusted with his young ward's extreme actions.

"Thank you for listening," he said softly, giving her hand a gentle squeeze and for now just keeping it in his. He liked having it there, a point of connection between them, but he would let go if she did. "I won't say that as a whole murder, and patricide specifically, are something I think of as okay, and by wolf standards the fact that he didn't announce the challenge, took the man by surprise, and didn't afterwards take his place as leader is seen as something shameful, but given the circumstances and the balance of power, the odds against him . . ." He sighed softly, giving his head a little shake. "I know what I would do in such a situation now, but at his size, at his age . . . I know I wouldn't have had the balls to make that decision twice."

If Aether had let the man live, he would have come back. They would have had to fight again, and who knew if by then the pack would have recovered enough to rally against him. In the moment, suffering and feeling trapped and powerless, what Aether had done made sense. It was unconscionable from both a human and a wolf perspective, in some way or another, but as a whole he understood why it had happened, and didn't hold it against the boy. He knew that now, with time and distance, Aether wouldn't make such rash decisions again. Finally, he had people he could turn to for help.

"It plagued his dreams for a long time," Maxim continued, in the interest of using the horrible experience not just to expose poor Aether but to help Madeline as well by giving them a point of similarity together, "and took his voice away. I don't know if he'll ever think he deserves to speak again. . . But bad decisions in poor circumstances don't make a terrible person. You deserve a second chance at life, just like he did."

He hoped it would help her understand how he saw her, knowing just who and what he could forgive. He hoped, as well, that it would help her and Aether reach a bit more peace with each other, knowing why he acted the way he did, treating her defensively because he was always wary of someone hurting the people he cared for. And if Madeline treated him no differently, he hoped that Aether would find another reason to forgive himself. Maxim had faith in them both. Just like he had promised, everything would be all right.
 
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"He shouldn't keep punishing himself..." She said softly, "he doesn't deserve it, he..." She hesitated for a moment, having to stop herself from saying her first thought about his actions, which was, 'good for him.' Murder wasn't something she condoned, obviously, but she couldn't find any judgement in her heart for what he'd done.

The awful situation he and his family had been trapped in, with seemingly no way out, he'd done what he needed to do to ensure he and his family were safe. Yes it wasn't exactly honourable, but she knew from experience that sometimes that was a luxury that you couldn't afford, sometimes, survival was all that mattered.

"He saved his family from a monster, standing up to his father the way he did... it was courageous." Her grip on his hand tightened slightly, again something she seemed unaware of. "He was stronger than I was..." She murmured softly, thinking back to the last time she'd seen her own father. She'd wanted to do what Aether had done, she could have, she wasn't the powerless little kid she'd been when he'd terrorised her and her brother, though in her mind she was, a lifetime of him making her feel weak and useless had done its work. The pain, grief and anger in her heart had all but compelled her too, but, she just.... couldn't do it...

Though she didn't hold his actions against him, she understood why Aether himself would. What he'd done had still been murder, premeditated murder, and against his own father. Not that he was a real father, but still, she understood the conflict that arose from hating your father but still wanting them to care for you.
 
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Aether's struggles had hit on a chord inside Madeline that should hardly have surprised Maxim anymore. The fact that she had suffered in her childhood was something he was already largely aware of, though given the fact that she had grown up in an orphanage he had to wonder if it was a foster parent that had hurt her, or if her birth father had found her only to make her miserable. Perhaps it had happened before the orphanage, and she had been taken from her parents' care.

No matter the full story, Maxim only gave a soft, agreeable hum at the idea that Aether shouldn't have to suffer still, but as he drew their walk to a gentle stop did turn and raise an eyebrow, the look he gave her rather pointed. If she was so sure Aether deserved better, surely she could understand how he was trying to make her see that she did as well. Even though she had been older, she had fallen into a trap of power and abuse that as little different from what the young wolf had gone through. Worse, even, to be old enough to do something but feeling unable. It wasn't her fault. Surely she could understand that.

And surely she knew that he could hear her at such short distance.

"In his mind, he only became the monster his father always wanted him to be," he said softly, letting her squeeze his hand without complaint and wondering almost absentmindedly if she would stay put if he risked putting his arms around her. "Everyone has their demons. Some just chase closer at their heels than others. . . Will you tell me about yours?" His voice was gentle, his expression soft and concerned, but without anything approaching stern. "It's all right to say no. We can walk a little longer."

He wanted to know everything about her, without having to go behind her back and use connections in law enforcement to dig it up himself. But his pack was something for which he could have endless patience. If she wasn't ready to tell him, it was all right. They could still enjoy their time together for a while longer.
 
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As he stopped and turned to face her, she returned his pointed gaze with a hesitant, slightly sheepish one of her own. She could see what he was getting at, but it was still hard to accept. In her mind there was no comparison, Aether had been stuck in a situation with no way out, she hadn't been. Well yes, she had been trapped, but in the beginning there were signs, not of anything truly bad, but just enough to make her suspicious. She'd ignored them, ignored her instinct that something was off about it, because she'd been desperate for a job yes, but also because... she'd been desperate for somewhere to belong, somewhere she could finally fit in with others like her. Meeting Doc and becoming his friend had driven home how alone she'd felt before, how much she was lacking, and how good it felt to someone care about and accept her, and so when Alex had started to get close, her defences were down and she was eager to have the feeling again.

"I..." She hesitated for a moment, she hadn't meant to say anything, not consciously anyway, she'd just been thinking out loud. Still, she supposed she couldn't expect him to just ignore it and not ask about it, though she wasn't exactly eager to talk about the painful parts of her past. And yet, maybe it would help a little, to sort of get it off her chest, she'd done it before, telling Doc the whole story and Alex a little before he'd revealed his true nature, back when she thought she could trust him, making his betrayal that much more painful. Maybe she owed it too him a little too, he'd been more than open with her, and he'd been incredibly patient with her. Letting her keep her secrets and privacy, though she was sure he'd be able to look into it if he'd really wanted too.

"Alright, It's nothing that interesting, cliché even, but if you want to know, I'll tell you." She said softly, feeling the strange need to downplay it, like it wasn't a big deal, and it really wasn't she supposed. Not compared to Aethers tale, and it wasn't some great secret, just a painful story to tell. Or perhaps she just wanted to act like it was no big deal, in hopes it would feel like less of one. She glanced around for a moment, perhaps looking for somewhere to sit, or just preparing herself a little. "Uh... I'm not really sure where to start..." "I mean... what do you want to know?"
 
The hesitance spoke volumes, but Maxim let her think it over and when she was ready the relief of not having pushed too hard quite yet was immediate. Something in his expression and the set of his shoulders went inexplicably soft, a mix of concern and affection in the almost sad way he looked at her. She thought so little of herself. All he wanted was to pick her up and hold her where she could see what he did.

"Nothing is uninteresting if it's important to you," he said, tone insistent on the point but still very gentle, and after a pause he turned a bit to start walking again with her hand still in his, so they would both have to look ahead and she wouldn't be bothered by becoming his sole point of attention. "You can choose to say nothing if it's too much, but . . . I'd like to know what happened to your brother."

It was a painful start, quite obviously, but he would never know how to help if he didn't know what had happened. If there was anything he could do for her at all, even if it was just becoming wary of situations or specific dates that would make her feel upset, he would do his best to take it all in.
 
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She was grateful when they started walking again, finding it easier to talk about this when she didn't have to look at him. A good thing, since his first question was a rough one. Not that any of this was easy to talk about, but still, she missed Flynn horribly and though it hadn't really been her fault, just like with Doc, she blamed herself for what happened to him. "No, it's okay." She said softly when he mentioned she could stay quiet, she wanted to be more open with him, he'd trusted her with a lot, and she wanted to do the same. Which shouldn't be too difficult, since she did trust him. "His name was Flynn, he was older than me, but not by much." She wasn't sure, but thought she'd already told him that much already, but it was somewhere to start, a way for her to ease into it.

"We lived in a small town, middle of nowhere, everybody knows everybody kind of thing." "After we were…" She paused for a moment, not wanting to get off-topic by talking about how they'd ended up in the orphanage, she knew they'd get to it, but for now she was trying to stay focused. "After we left our father, we lived in Haven Home, it was a group home, sort of like an orphanage and foster home combined." "Basically, the women running it took in as many kids as they could." There was fondness and pain both in her voice when she thought of that place, "It was chaotic and a struggle sometimes, but it was safe at least." She wasn't going into much detail, figuring he could have guessed that by what she'd told him before. She was trying to be succinct, but if he wanted to ask questions or for more detail, she'd have no problem explaining things further.

"Anyway, a lot of the other kids outside the home would make fun of us, bully us, call us freaks, weirdos, cursed, unwanted, unloveable, that sort of thing you know?" Unfortunately such a thing was not all that surprising, kids could be cruel, and as they grew older it only got worse. "If you were living there, then you obviously had problems, and it made us easy targets." Though a lot of them had been through things that made a bit of bullying seem tame in comparison, it was still painful for a bunch of kids who were already suffering. It did at least bring them closer together, and she, Flynn and some of the other older kids did their best to look out for and protect the younger ones.

"One day, when we were teenagers, I was walking home, and I was… having a really bad day." "I just wanted some time to sort of pull myself together before I went home." She hadn't wanted to take her troubles home, and worry any of the others, and look how that had turned out. "So I stopped for a bit, and a bunch of thugs from school came across me." " I knew them, they'd messed with me and some of the others before." "They were your typical asshole bully, the kind who got their fun picking on anyone different, vulnerable, and basically just anyone who was smaller and weaker than they were."

"They were a bunch of meatheads, but unfortunately, they were much older, abnormally large, musclebound meatheads." Being a shifter she did have a strength advantage over humans of course, but she'd still been a young teen, and they'd had a lot of brute strength and sheer numbers on their side. "I tried to ignore them, but once they spotted me that was it, I guess they hadn't gotten their entertainment for the day." "They cornered me and started insulting me, Flynn, my foster siblings, spewing some of the most vile, hateful things you've ever heard."

"I shouldn't have said anything, I should have just kept my head down and walked away, if I'd just shut up they would have let me go." "I knew better, knew how dangerous it was to antagonise them, but… I was so angry, I'd been minding my own business, and they'd just decided to come along and make my already shitty day worse." "I was so sick and tired of being treated like dirt..." She said softly, she'd had a lot of repressed anger about how much pain she and the others had been through, how much they had to struggle, how much unfair crap they had to wade through while others seemed to breeze through. Sometimes it was all too much, she wouldn't be able to hold it in anymore, and she'd lash out. She knew it was better to just shut up and get out, but unfortunately, despite the danger it put her in, that time, she'd been tired, upset, angry, and she hadn't been able to hold her tongue. "I snapped back at them, and that set them off, things got really bad, really fast" She paused for a moment, remembering the pit of fear in her stomach back then, knowing how screwed she'd been.

That hadn't stopped her though, she'd fought hard, fuelled by adrenaline and rage. It wouldn't have been enough, she knew that, but she fought anyway. "I don't... I don't like to think about what would have happened." "But, Flynn had gotten worried that I was taking so long, and he'd come looking for me." "He didn't hesitate, just started fighting, pulling them off me, trying to protect me, like he always did." That's how it was with them, both of them always ready to defend the other. They'd always done it, taking the blame for whatever perceived sleight had made their father angry, each one trying to take his attention of the other and spare them from his wrath. Flynn had seen it as his sole responsibility, being the older brother and all, always trying to shield her at the expense of himself. He'd loved her too much to see her suffer, but she'd loved him just as much, and she wouldn't let him.

"There were a lot of them, one of them pulled a knife and... it all happened so fast and... he got hurt, badly hurt." Her voice was soft, but the pain, guilt, and grief she'd felt at her brother's devastating loss was still obvious in her tone. "He was bleeding everywhere, he was laying there dying, and they just took off..." Anger was creeping into her voice now, "I got him to the hospital, and he hung on for a while, but..." She trailed off for a moment, not needing to explain, the rest was obvious. Her grip on Maxims hand tightened as she spoke, "He died, and that wasn't even the end of it..."
 
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It was worse than he had thought. Maxim had had an inkling that Flynn had lost his life trying to protect Madeline in some way, but to think they had been so young, and under such avoidable circumstances. If the teens that had hurt her had been better controlled, if their families had taught them better and kept them from acquiring weapons, if they had only had an ounce of sympathy in their feeble minds - there were so many ways the mistreatment of the children she had known should have been improved, and it had the wolf in him seething inside at the thought that he couldn't do anything about it. Learning about past events always had that effect on him, and he was used to swallowing the furious growl that wanted to surface.

What he wouldn't give to have been there in that moment. As a teen he hadn't had much skill in fighting beyond what instinct had given him, and lacked the tolerance for breaking bones that his current self had, but he'd had his strength and stubbornness still. It was an awful sort of feeling, wanting to imagine himself there to protect them so strongly and knowing it was a ridiculous thought at the same time. Despite a willingness to let her break the bones in his hand if it would only help her feel better, he did his best not to squeeze back too hard, and couldn't stop the faintly audible whine in the back of his throat at the thought of her in so much pain.

"You must have been so scared. . ." He murmured softly, as if to interrupt the quiet around them too loudly would break the spell and have her clamming up once again. He wanted to know. Even if it hurt, he needed to know. "What happened? Were they ever caught?"

Every part of him wanted to toss his badge at the problem, see if he could dig up the cold case and bring the retched youths - adults, now - to justice, but he did his best to swallow it down. If all she wanted was for him to be with her, he would just be present. There was no use in getting lost in thoughts of what couldn't be.
 
She shook her head softly, "No." "By the time I had a moment to tell anybody what happened, they'd already gotten their stories straight." "I'd done some damage to them, not enough to make any difference, but enough that they couldn't hide it and just pretend it didn't happen." "They said I attacked them, that they were just teasing, and I went crazy, Flynn too, and they were just defending themselves." She paused for a moment, taking a deep breath as she tried to keep it together, so many years ago and yet the rage she felt at this injustice was still as fresh as ever. "It was complete and utter bullshit, but it was their word against ours... Well mine anyway, Flynn was in no condition to answer any questions..."

"And who were they going to believe?" "A group of young men from respectable, prominent families, who swore up and down they'd done nothing wrong?" "Or a pair of poor, lower class nobody's from the house full of freaks with emotional problems?" Her tone was all but dripping with bitterness, "especially when one of them had a cop for a father, the same one who'd done nothing for us before, did nothing yet again." She closed her eyes for a moment, "they covered everything up, subtly threatened me and the women running the home not to take it any further, they were already struggling to keep things together, they didn't need the cops making life any harder." "Everyone just sort of pretended it didn't happen, the guys did get some slap on the wrist for using too much force, it was a fucking joke."

"The one who actually pulled the knife, I don't know what happened to him, his parents sent him off somewhere, or he just took off." "Nobody missed him, I think even the others were a bit disturbed by what he'd done, but that didn't stop them from letting us take the blame." "They did at least leave me and the other kids alone, everybody left me alone, there were rumours going around about how I'd lost it and gone crazy." "And everyone just went back to normal." There was a slight unsteadiness to her tone, "I didn't want anyone else to get hurt and there was nothing I could do, nobody cared or wanted to listen or believed me, so i just... went along with it all, I was too depressed to do anything else."
 
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