The Thoughts that Keep You Awake at Night.

I wonder when I die, and how I die.. If it'll be painful or painless.. and I wonder what worth does my life have and what would people need me around for when I'm just a burden.
 
"Gotta look for work tomorrow, food ain't paying itself. I wonder if I'll get a job"

"If I sleep now how many sleep hours I'll have?"

"Why am I thinking in english if I'm brazilian?"

"Is tomorrow the day when aliens will finally visit Earth? Will they be kind or will they make us their bitches?"

"What if I have a superpower that can only be unlocked by a certain chain of events that I'll never learn?" (<- This one drives me crazy)
 
A whole hand...

A whole hand right in her mouth.

Like an entire fist.

How...
 
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I often think of and imagine the most ridiculous scenes that will never happen in real life when I lie in bed at night. I don't know if I'm the only one, but I tend to have more energy at night than I do in the morning. Like, I get into bed and then all of a sudden I'm not tired any more. It's so annoying!
 
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Pretty much every single thought that you could possibly think of. My brain has trouble slowing down long enough for me to fall asleep, but that's ADHD for you. Or at least, that's how it used to be, nowadays I find the racing thoughts surprisingly soothing. Though I still struggle getting sleep for other reasons.
 
Why "refrigerator" can be called "fridge".

Refrigerator has no 'd' man. What the shit. Keeps me up every night.
 
I wonder when I die, and how I die.. If it'll be painful or painless.. and I wonder what worth does my life have and what would people need me around for when I'm just a burden.
Omg! I hate those thoughts! I always wonder if there's something after death, or if my consciousness will just be in some blackhole where nothing happens....>_<

I think about nuclear bombs/major natural disasters happening after my kids leave school and I can't get to them. Those are the worst. I've made myself sick thinking like that, especially when we've had hurricane and tornado warnings and they didn't close schools down.

I think about what will happen if one of my kids is gay. Not that it would bother me, I'd love them regardless. But I worry about how people will treat them, if they'll be harassed to the point where they want to commit suicide, or beaten up because people are assholes.

My truck getting run off a bridge. If I have to go on a trip and I know I'll be crossing a bridge, I'll think about that the entire night before the trip.

Not all my thoughts are morbid though. :)

Thinking about the night my husband and I first met keeps me up quite a bit, because it was one of those rare moments in life where a thought popped into my head and it turned out to be right. It kind of makes me wonder if people really do know the person they'll spend the rest of their life with after meeting them, or if it was just wishful thinking on my part.
 
I wonder sometimes if there is anything in this world that is not "all-natural." Because technically, everything comes from SOMETHING in nature already, but man just rearranges its atoms and chemistry to make it a little different. So does that mean all the manmade things I know to manmade should be called nature: modified?

You may find 'artifice' to be a useful concept.


I go over my plans for life and wonder if I'm making the right decisions.
Funny enough, I don't tend to worry about things I've already done because they're so... over. Nor do I ponder a lot of existential problems, unless I'm trying to sooth myself. I'm happy with a lot of the conclusions I've come to about mortal conundrums. I just sometimes obsess about spending my limited time well.

Sometimes I turn over memories. Then I wonder if that's a good way to use my time.
*sigh*
 
I often think of and imagine the most ridiculous scenes that will never happen in real life when I lie in bed at night. I don't know if I'm the only one, but I tend to have more energy at night than I do in the morning. Like, I get into bed and then all of a sudden I'm not tired any more. It's so annoying!
I'm the same way.. I'm a creature of the night. I sleep during the day and I'm awake during the night now because of it XD
 
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Another one: Why are keyboards not in alphabetical order?
It's because when there we used typewriters, letters that were used often got stuck easily when they were next to each other. The QWERTY keyboard was designed to prevent this by spacing letters used relatively often farther away from each other. Then it kinda just started to always be used, even when we no longer use typewriters as often.
 
Okay so reading these... thinking about things, and fantasizing about what you're gonna dream about keeps people up? That's kinda what I do to fall asleep.... I start running a story through my head or a fantasy where I'm on some sort of adventure and within 20 minutes I usually fall asleep.

How do most people fall asleep then? Do they just stare at the ceiling until they fall asleep??? O-O


Things that have usually kept me up at night would be things that have scared me. When I was like ten I read about Wendigos in my Haunted Canada book and that spooked me to the point where I stayed up until like 3am because I thought I had to guard the house in case Wendigos came to hypnotize my parents into becoming cannibals. Eventually when I felt the threat of sleep I ran into my parent's room crying about the Wendigos until my mom calmed me down by pointing out all the flaws in the stories, debunking them.


Another time when I was like 15 I had troubles sleeping for about a week because I had urges to gouge my own eyes out.... yeah that was not fun...

Nowadays its usually little things, like if it's a particularly windy night, what if a tree falls on the house?

Or that one time I got sick for the first time in like 6 years, what if some one poisoned me?

And then when the lady who lives in the basement had a party, I got scared that someone would steal my Doc Marleys which were sitting in the shared entrance way. I ended up getting up and pacing around the house until I decided to retrieve the boots and stow them safely away in my room. But then a few party goers had decided to go outside for a smoke and they were taking forever to get their coats and shoes on, so I ended up eavesdropping on them for like 10 minutes until they finally went outside, giving me the time window I needed to dart into the entrance way to get my boots and go back inside without anyone seeing me.
 
"Man how do cameras even work that shit's magic, no matter how many times I read the Wikipedia the concept doesn't make sense to me."
"Wikipedia's donation thing bugs me every time I go there, maybe I should just donate like 3 bucks so it'll leave me alone."
"I donated to a charity one time, it was only like 20 dollars, that shit felt good though, like I was so elated."
"Man I was elated at work today for no reason, after being bummed out for having to walk in that coldass weather, I wonder if I'm manic."
"Manic is like two letters away from being 'mansick' I wonder if that's where that word means or something."
"What's the word for understanding the origin of a word? etymology? or is it entomology? one is about words and one is about bugs right?"
"I bet it's etymology sounds like 'eti' from etiquette is part of the prefix."

My train of thought leaves the station and seconds later it derails and violently explodes.
 
Right now... thoughts at night are about traveling, hoping the upcoming travel goes as planned.
 
I've been staying up late thinking about random things. Sometimes they are deep, like how much people's lives around me actually matter to me. Why they are in my life, and how it impacts me when they are gone whether it's the tenet downstairs that I used to talk to every time we checked mail, or my sister, you never truly know the impact they have in your lives until you either lose them or stew on it while trying to sleep because insomnia is a bitch.

Or I think of a great idea and fall asleep and forget it.
 
The thought of self-harm...my depression is growing worse and the pain keeps me up at night...the thought that runs through me is cutting or burning myself to ease the emotional pain I feel on the inside...
 
what did i miss today?

can i jump that?

can i climb that?

i wonder what that tastes like?

can i hit that button?

can i pull that lever?

can i throw that switch?
 
My thoughts aren't the only thing that keep me up...

*Looks at stomach*

HUUUUUUNGRYYYYYYY
 
My negative thoughts usually attack me at night.
I think of all those I have hurt, and worry if I am hurting anyone on accident.
I just want to make everyone happy, even if that is impossible because everyone is in charge of their own happiness.
But still, I get super stressed over worrying. I also think I'm a failure at everything when I'm left to my thoughts alone at night.