No, not eustress. Distress. So many things it does, and even a sudden burst of anger for something so small. I got pissed off at my brother for laughing because I dropped a cup on the counter when taking it down from the cabinet. The cup was smaller than the one I grabbed and it happened to be magically "sticking" to the inside when I pulled that top cup out and the cup inside slipped out. My brother was passing by, getting ready to set the table and the moment that cup hit the counter, he burst out laughing. He said nothing, but I was angry. I asked him, "You think this is funny?" and without a care in the world, he told me, "Yes, it's hilarious." I was fucking done in that moment. I took up the cup that fell and slammed the cabinet door shut. I angrily told him to shut up two times, one for laughing at me and one for asking what was wrong with me. There's nothing wrong with me dammit. I slammed those cups down on the table, proceeded to pour the drinks, then stormed out of the kitchen like all hell broke loose. I slammed my door shut and went to my bed, then started to cry and think negatively about myself. I was an idiot, a fool to get hyped up over something so small. I felt bad for my actions and googled 'sudden acts of anger' and read up information on what might've caused it, then believed right then and there it was because of my psychological stress. I came to more realizations as dinner passed and decided afterwards, even though I'd never in my life ever done it with meaning much less do it at all, apologized to him for my sudden outburst. I told him why it happened and that I could've handled the situation better. But he brushed it off as if nothing had happened. He was apathetic and careless towards my apology, telling me that he didn't care, that he didn't see why I needed to apologize to him. That was a fucking slap in the face to someone who'd never apologized. Or even thought to apologize with feeling. I'm not a person who forgives easily, I'll just throw that out there. I never have been, and when I've been forced by those older than me (e.g. teachers, parents), I've always done so with reluctance and burning hatred for whoever I had to apologize to and say I'm sorry. I blame so easily that I don't stop to think about others even if I say I'm kind and sympathetic towards others. To me, I want things done a certain way and it's my way or the highway, especially around the house. So for me to step forward and forgive myself and ask for my brother's forgiveness, I felt like shit in that moment. It was as if he didn't care, but really, it's just because he has a different mindset. He's a jokester, he makes snide comments, he's witty, he makes jokes, and I'm the complete opposite. He's of the mindset that, "Oh haha I made her irritated, okay, moving along now" type deal because he's my brother. He didn't think I needed to apologize because it was something so small and that there was nothing truly wrong with what I did. I want to forgive and forget. I want to move on. I'm tired of being the way that I've always been- apathetic, uncaring towards family members. School is stressful, house is stressful, everything is stressful. I just want to see someone now. I'm tired of waiting for an appointment to go see them, I want to just walk in there and slowly let everything out. There's never been a day where I wish everything was all laughter and happiness. But it feels like that's never going to happen.