The Smug Booth

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Animals (seemingly) naturally gravitate towards me, whatever they are. I've got some sort of demeanor that makes animals extremely comfortable around me, and I rarely come into contact with an animal (that isn't naturally wary, but even then there's exceptions) that is scared or aggressive with me. A few examples:

-At the Monterey Bay Aquarium, a particular stingray exhibit has had me baffled by this characteristic of mine. The shallow pool they're in is meant to allow visitors to reach out and pet them as they swim on by, but their interest is very low in the visitors. The stingrays swim past them apathetically. Whenever I visit that pool and reach out, nearly all of the stingrays present flock over to my hand and quite literally try to swim up to me over the wall.
-I've worked at dog shelters numerous times, especially at a certain annual fairground exhibit in which the local dog shelter brings some available dogs for adoption. In every single case I ended up being the center of attention, despite there being several other volunteers and employees present. Most of the time they're brand new dogs too.
-I'm not quite sure if London naturally possesses people-friendly squirrels, but they didn't really seem inclined to get near others. In any case, while visiting London parks I always end up attracting the attention of 1 or 2 squirrels who aren't afraid to run up to me even as I'm walking.
-I visited an aviary at one point in the past, though I'm not sure when. Attending as a group with other students, nearly all of the birds of prey we saw were quite fond of hissing at us. When I stood back and observed a certain owl while the rest of the group went ahead, the owl didn't seem inclined to hiss at me in particular. Similarly, at my university we have bi-monthly museum exhibits with varying subjects, one of which being birds of prey. Upon attending, I was treated to holding a kestrel for a little bit. The original handlers noted he actually seemed quite calm around me, despite being normally skittish.
-At one point during university, I had the company of a crow during lunch outside, alone. I gave him a few bites of my burrito and he stayed for awhile, standing on my very table.
-While lifeguarding on a hot day, three yellow jackets, all at once, decided to land on my exposed arm. They chilled there, walking around for a good 45 minutes even as I shifted seats 3 times. I was never stung, and eventually they flew away.

Not quite a skill, I suppose, but brag-worthy nonetheless. :3

I'm also obscenely and naturally good at first person shooters. I rarely pick one up and fail to kick ass within minutes of trying multiplayer, no matter the opposition.
 
I'm really proud of myself for gradually improving my social skills so that talking to people face to face is a lot less awkward. Of course, I've still got a long way to go before I'm 100% comfortable with it, but at least I'm on the right track.
 
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Oooooh. I'm probably most smug about my last job. I'll recap.

I was a manager working my way up the corporate ladder. Traveling all over the country for this company. I had an employee who was a piece of white trash and decided she didn't like the hours she was given and filed against me for harassment. Now I did everything right and had everything documented of her behavior. However, because she was pregnant and that is a protected class it doesn't matter what you can prove. The company wanted to avoid going to court for a lawsuit, so they demoted me temporarily. I did some bullshit training that I shouldn't of had to do and worked my way back up again. Finally a year later they offered me my dream job being a corporate buyer for the company. The job I've worked so hard for. Unfortunately, things didn't work out in my personal life to take the job, so I respectfully declined the job. Since then they've made the offer twice more.

What makes me smug about it is that I realized I don't need that fancy job to be great. I'm going to be great no matter what I do. I'm going to school to become an Ayurvedic Practitioner, and when I'm done I'm going to open a practice. For a long time I felt shafted by the other company, but now I just feel like 'nah.. I don't need you. You need me.'
 
11014663_10153066933750139_8111918716580246062_n.jpg

This is my daughter's most recent drawing, and probably one of my favorites so far. Sometimes it's hard to believe that somewhere along the line I contributed genes that helped create this talent. :) Yes, I'm bragging, but I can't help it!
 
I'm still ridiculously smug about last year's project in the forestry industry. I blew people's minds when I didn't just keep up with the insane amount of information that passed through my hands, but I caught up three months worth of slacking in three weeks. Bitches ain't got nothing on my multitasking.

Anyway, I make hot chocolate that's to die for.

My ability to bullshit an essay and get a perfect grade on it, the night before it's due. My grip of the English language also ties in on this, I always got perfect grades through English and Swedish, without doing all the assignments and skipping the homework entirely.

I once made a horse fall asleep by scratching his shoulder for ten minutes. In the middle of a busy stable, half an hour before my riding lesson started. There were a lot of kids running around.

And of course, the fact that animals, particularly cats, seem to love me. Probably my calm and friendly demeanour, and my extensive experience with animals.
 
11014663_10153066933750139_8111918716580246062_n.jpg

This is my daughter's most recent drawing, and probably one of my favorites so far. Sometimes it's hard to believe that somewhere along the line I contributed genes that helped create this talent. :) Yes, I'm bragging, but I can't help it!
its actually pretty good! your womb creates art by proxy. should we call it VaginArt?
 
11014663_10153066933750139_8111918716580246062_n.jpg

This is my daughter's most recent drawing, and probably one of my favorites so far. Sometimes it's hard to believe that somewhere along the line I contributed genes that helped create this talent. :) Yes, I'm bragging, but I can't help it!
That is goddamn adorable.
 
Pride, hm? That's something I've not felt in a long time...

All that aside, I'm proud of my kickboxing, I guess. I'm a blue belt now, and hopefully, I'll be able to get my brown belt before I leave for uni.
That's pretty much it tbh
 
its actually pretty good! your womb creates art by proxy. should we call it VaginArt?
I'm not sure my daughter would appreciate that. :P

That is goddamn adorable.
I know. It's one of her cutest ones by far. I'd actually consider getting it tattooed. I can't wait to get her a bamboo tablet for her birthday to see what she draws.
 
I'm not sure my daughter would appreciate that. :P


I know. It's one of her cutest ones by far. I'd actually consider getting it tattooed. I can't wait to get her a bamboo tablet for her birthday to see what she draws.

I would appreciate it!
 
.......

I'm not sure if I should be scared by that or not.
 
I don't really know, but some things that I feel good about:

  • I manage to make my best, closest, friend - we're platonic life partners - smile more times than any other person she knows. She is pretty hard to make smile, y'know. Most of the time her smiles are sarcastic. That I have the privilege of seeing that beautiful smile more than anyone makes me feel all fuzzy inside. She deserves to smile more and I damn well will strive.
  • That I passed all the elite universities in my country compared to my high school classmates who had been in the top rankings. I passed each and every test I took, and through the merit of my test scores. Grades and ranking didn't really add a factor, though now I am careful to maintain my grades now that I'm where I want to be.
  • Hm, that I can write relatively the best out of most people I know in real life? I'm not yet prestigious level, but my quickly typed or thrown together essays and drafts are supposedly rather good. For putting it together around only ten to fifteen minutes, and English isn't my first language. I want to be a writer, the first one in my family, so I want to know my improvement day by day, though.
 
I got a two year scholarship to a college in fifth grade. Yeah, I'm awesome, what about it?
 
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