The Real You vs Your Personas

Discussion in 'THREAD ARCHIVES' started by Diana, Feb 19, 2015.

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  1. This was an interesting topic that came up in one of the chats yesterday and I thought it would be great for discussing!

    There is YOU. The real you. Your real thoughts, actions, behaviors, personality, etc.

    Most for a lot of people, there are other yous too. There is the "Out In Public" you. The "with family" you. The "Online Persona" you. And for us roleplayers, we can even have character versions of ourselves!

    Do you have different versions of yourself you portray in different situations? Because you like to? Because you're forced to?

    Do you have a persona that you use for online? Do you have characters that are based on you or your persona?

    Tell us about them and their differences! :D
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  2. I'll open this wide open I guess.

    I have me....the real me....
    I have the writer....I have a pen name- she's a tad feistier than I am I guess.
    Then my characters....I build traits of myself and my writer self into my characters a little, some are completely dis-similar to me in every way. I have roleplayed as myself once or twice to see how I'd react in various scenarios (obviously using a different name etc...but sometimes I find that a bit of fun- throwing yourself in that situation with that set of characters).

    My writer self is something that intrigues a lot of my friends, a writing website I was on a few years ago, I was completely submerged, no one knew my true self (on iwaku I've let a few people see sides of the real me). However on this site, I found myself talking with someone as my writer self that I knew IRL (they were using a pen name too) and when we eventually found out it was a little weird, we could see the qualities within each other that we wanted to shine, and the one's we'd kept hidden.

    I think everyone can be guilty of using writing for shying away from things or escapism, or just personal development whether in writing ability or just general personality.
  3. Surprisingly, my online persona is pretty much how I am. I don't see a reason to fake who I am for other people, not when the chances that will ever cross paths is slim to none. I don't have to impress anyone, and it's so much easier for me to type what I'm thinking than it is for me to actually say it.

    The 'outside the house' me is more fake than I am online. I'm an introvert. Socializing face to face with people is absolutely exhausting for me. I'm more comfortable sitting in a corner somewhere and keeping to myself, but when I'm out of the house that doesn't happen. I don't know why, maybe they sense how difficult it is for me to talk, or maybe I have a face that says I want to talk, but random people always start conversations with me whenever I'm out in public. Inside all I want to do is ask them politely to leave me alone, but I hate being rude. I talk back and keep the conversation going for as long as possible, and considering my habit of rambling on when I'm nervous, I keep it going for a while. The real me wants to make some sarcastic comment to shut them up, but I don't.

    Then there's the 'mom' me, which is what mode I'm in right now. I think every parent knows what I'm talking about. It's the me, that when something happens to one of my kids ends up taking over and does not put up with bullshit until the problem is fixed. (Right now I'm waiting for a phone call from my son's school about 2 kids who thought it was okay to start punching my son on the bus. I swear if the school suspends him for fighting back I'm going to go postal!) The mom in me is complicated and confusing because I want to protect them from everything, but at the same time I want them to learn on their own. This persona is the one that gets nasty quick, and it's really the only time I feel the need to bash people's heads in. I've called strangers out on their bad manners, something I wouldn't do if it was only involving me, and I have literally chased people down for getting too close to my kids. (I've had two pedophiles approach my kids while I was shopping. One I swear was trying to gauge whether or not he could kidnap my daughter. She was three at the time, and he was asking if she could talk, if she could run, as if I was going to answer him. Security in the store didn't toss me out when I started throwing boxes of cereal at the guy to get him away.) But, this side of me is not entirely bad. It kicks in when I see other kids crying because they've gotten lost in a store, and speaks up when I see a bigger kid picking on a smaller one. So, I guess in a way it balances itself out.

    And then there is the 'family' me, not the me around my husband and kids, but the one around my parents, siblings and extended family. I've always been sort of the oddball in the family. I'm not outgoing like everyone else. I don't like partying. Growing up, I was constantly teased because I always had my face buried in a book and no one understood why. When I'm around my family, I'm defensive and nervous. For the longest time I would shake like a leaf whenever I was in the same room with my family, and even now I still get shaky whenever I have to be around them for an extended period of time. Of all my personas, this is the one that I hate the most, and the one I go out of my way to avoid. The only person in my family who I don't feel this way around is my aunt, who I consider to be more my mother than anything. The rest of my family....I could avoid for the rest of my life and be happy. I love them because they are family, but I don't particularly like them as individuals.
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  4. I'm generally louder online than I am IRL.

    And I'm not that loud online.

    Meaning I'm pretty damn quiet... IRL

    I'm just really shy, and really bad at speaking to people I haven't eased into my life already.
    Social Anxiety, I've got it bad. My heart rate will increase tenfold, I'll start sweating, I'll get self-conscious, all that stuff and more.

    Though, if I were to give a non-face to face verbal speech or something you'd probably think I was confident and lax. This is far different from the truth. When typing I actually have time to think, and occasionally I may sound like quite the intellectual young adult and all that. (Which people do tell me IRL, but I'm not so sure about that.) Usually I'll fit something into a phrase or three, and it'll probably have some sort of effect in context.

    (My thoughts.)No, I don't like boy bands
    (The truth. Sometimes I'll stop here)I'm a man.
    (Conclusion.)You do, because you're a girl.
    (add-on)You might want to break that habit.

    Irl. I give even shorter replies/ like:
    "Oh yeah.."

    You know, what husbands say to their wives when they go shopping?
    I tend to take long breaks in between when I think of something to actually say.

    En conclusion.
    I need to talk more.
    I need a hug.

    It's better when friends bring up a subject I can actually respond to though, Then and only then is when I'll briefly take control of the conversation.

    (On PSN or Steam(whenever I actually get back on that.) I'm chill as heck. More vulgar. Less proper. Still with good grammar. Plus the occasional yell of "Hell yeah!" or "good stuff!" or "Yes!" or "Good job!" or "YATTA!" or... other crap yells.)

    I'm pretty much the same online and offline though.
    Give me a cookie, yo.
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  5. -Hugs Ser- There, there, it'll be okay.

    And if you want to know what a husband says to their wife when they go shopping? If the husband wants to stay happy, he says 'Whatever you want, dear'. :P I don't think that can be applied to every day situations smoothly, but it might save you some grief when you're married. XD
  6. Noted. XD
    I'll try to remember that by then.
  7. My online self is just like me IRL. On here I do tone down my personality slightly. Mainly because I want to get people to want to write with me.
    Though, IRL I have stages of myself.

    Meeting for the first time - Quiet and mainly listen. Rarely talking other than to respond.

    Know you, but not friends - Still a little quite. I'll talk a little more and crack a safe joke or two (safe joke, crack. HA!)

    Acquaintances - Decent amount of talking. Still only PG-13 jokes or conversations.

    Friends - Good back and forth. Pretty crazy jokes and conversations.

    Good friends - Mix between idiotic jokes and conversations and messed up jokes and conversations.

    My personality is an even mix of "What the fuck is wrong with you?" because of silly stupid things I say and do (I've asked people if they've ever dutch ovened their pets) and "What the fuck is wrong with you? You need serious help." because of the messed up and disturbing things I say.
  8. I personally try to make the persona me as close to me as humanly possible though I did notice that the persona me and the real me.

    • First of all I use a larger variety of jokes with my persona, either dark humor or dirty humor while the RL me tends to lean on more cleaner versions of humor that are more publicly accepted.
    • There is also the fact that in RL I'm a mix of being open and shy, depending on my environment and the people I'm around while my persona is a tad more open and lacks subtlety and shyness. IRL there are times when I'm so quiet that I don't make a sound for a week or so, and there are times where I follow my persona and be louder.
    • I'm more open about myself online than I am in RL, especially now that I am in Washington and able to type whatever and not have to worry about someone watching my every move. This goes double for my sexuality, personal beliefs and opinions since I hardly ever say such in RL.
    • I'm usually meaner in RL than under my persona. Nuff said.

    Personally I like my persona a lot more than me in RL and while there are some things that I like of my persona, others just may never change without completely negative results coming. In both my persona and RL I'm blunt and honest for the most part, under both I like dragons, a lot. In the end, I could honestly say that the online me is more me than RL me.
  9. Out in public/with acquaintances: I talk a lot when I feel like I need to. Either someone's gotta break the ice or I really need to impress someone or a group, and come off as very confident and self-assured of myself (that's mostly when i have to report or present something in class). Not entirely my true self, but it's still an important part of my personality.

    Intimate: Reserved for family, really close best friends and lovers... I'm a bit erratic with this. Sometimes I go onto long periods of silence, then sometimes I'm really talkative. With friends I'm more laid back and easygoing. For lovers, old or new, I'm described as acting more "cutesy" than what they normally see of me from the outside, a tender or gentle manner too, which is a side that I don't even outwardly show to my family or friends.

    Online: Not sure how to describe it in exact terms... but for some of my roleplays, parts of my personality (could be from the two descriptions above) or my experiences are included in my characters life. I try to make it as subtle as possible though. Online, I'm more eloquent and I tend to have more collected thoughts/ideas, since I can sit down and think about what I'm typing as opposed to real life spontaneity.
  10. I figured it would be easier to describe/explain with a visual spectrum rather than with words.


    Now to clarify.

    Open Me = It's simply me, me with all my craziness, silliness etc.
    Reserved Me = I try to hold back, not engage as much etc.

    And note that this is strictly in regards to how loose, silly, and open I am.
    I am always just as open about my opinions about issues, personal beliefs etc regardless of who it is.
    Exception being where going into such a discussion/debate is unprofessional for the environment (Ex: At work and the topic of religion comes up).

    So if you ever debated something with me and thought that was a thing of closeness? Not really, I do that with literally anyone whose willing to.

    There is also however two other alteration's to the spectrum above.

    1. Voice or Text?

    As a rule of thumb I'm more reserved on text than with voice, but at the same time am more accurate.

    For one simple/obvious reason, voice is instant reaction. I have no time to sit, pause and think about how to precisely word something.
    So where if we're texting I can think about how to say something, you aren't always going to get my natural reaction.
    But at the same time, it allows me to better articulate my meaning and intention, so although it may not be my first reaction it is what is usually actually going on in my head.

    2. Romantic Relationship?

    Basically, from past experience I've learned something rather interesting (and annoying) about myself.
    I get far more emotionally driven, and founded when interacting with a significant other. Where with almost anyone else I may be able to sit back and rationally look over a situation, in a relationship I can far more easily have my emotions get the better of me, impairing my sense of judgement.


    As for RP Characters?

    A lot of my characters will generally share some personality aspects of mine, but which they share will vary on the RP/Situation in question. And some may be more true/accurate to me than with others. While some characters are not meant to be like me at all, and are solely meant to explore another kind of personality/mentality (Ex: A Orc I played in D&D whose mainly thought about how he can punch his way into victory).

    While once in a while if the RP calls for it I might be Roleplaying myself almost exactly (Ex: One RP I'm in atm, where we are RP forum people trapped inside an RP forum world). But even then I make some alterations, alterations mainly so there's less chance of a personality clash/conflict. That way characters can be more compatible, and less prone to constant arguing and disagreement.
    #10 Gwazi Magnum, Feb 19, 2015
    Last edited: Feb 19, 2015
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  11. My online self is way more energetic and crazy random than my real self. Out in public I'm shy and reserved, though can be energetic and happy-go-lucky depending on the situation and/or event, as well as who I'm with.

    When I'm with my family, I'm kind of all over the place, being closed off and belligerent, down-to-earth, energetic, lovable, and keep most opinions to myself, if not all. I tend to have a more pessimistic outlook on life as well, because I live with my father and he's... Well, basically, my introvertedness shows more as a whole when I'm with my family or if I'm out in public (depending on the situation and/or event), etc.

    I don't really have an online persona. I'm just myself, flexing my speech by watching out for my words and tone of voice, because admittedly, I've been belligerent on past roleplay forums and they never took it well, which made me feel like a piece of crap because they didn't want to address the issues and/or discuss them with me.
  12. Online me is more outgoing than IRL me.
    IRL me just wants to laze around in peace.
    That's more or less it, to be honest.
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  13. As far as my characters, I always have some bit of myself in them. It makes them easier to play and react naturally to the story.
  14. lets see... IRL i am loud and outgoing as long as i am around friends and family.. otherwise im pretty shy. I'll talk, just not first. I have a wicked temper, i'm very sensitive, my emotions tend to control me, i care very deeply for people close to me, i love easily and if i don't understand something i become frustrated and upset.

    Online, i am happy to talk, talk talk talk. i'm happy, more understanding, not easily bothered unless of course i've asked for someone to stop, or please do something and they don't and my whole temper thing kind of creeps in. I'm caring, i mean that's normal for me but it's more than just people who are close to me. I still have my sensitivness but i don't show it.

    My characters each have a little piece of me in them.. whether it be a bit of my shyness, my anger, my happiness, my loudness.. etc..
  15. I'm a lot more open online. In real life, my friends know very little, if anything, about my deeper, darker innermost feelings and secrets. Nobody knows me that well at all, really - I'm an excellent liar. I have my reasons for keeping it that way. Online I'm a lot more open with others, or maybe it's better to say my online persona is more honest with itself. I mean, if you look at my post in the Confessionary thread, I didn't really hold anything back, because I didn't feel the need to. In real life, I have reasons to hold things like that back, so I do. It means that coming online is often quite cathartic and therapeutic for me.
  16. I don't actually drink that much anymore.
  17. I guess I don't really have much in the way of personas? I mean when I'm with family I act a bit different; I'm even quieter than I am already, less openly enthusiastic, just kind of a "seen not heard" person. In school, sometimes I'm a bit silly but usually I'm just the girl who reads books and hates life. And with friends I'm me. Most of the time. I do put on lots of smiles for show. I'm not a smiley person- courtesy of the internets, I don't show a lot of expression I guess, since online you express it through text and not your face. And I'm totally okay with a comfortable silence, which doesn't quite do IRL. But other than that... No personas. Kind of wish I had a writing pen-name and persona though.
  18. I spent 45 minutes looking for a comic fitting this thread. But being an edit of an obscure comic makes it hard to find.

    Usually I try to keep it all together. Used to keep myself so splintered up and separate that it became hard to remember how I acted for each particular situation. This was when I was a teenager and growing up. As I got older I valued my honesty when it came to dealing with people. If they didn't like the way I acted at my most 'normal' then why should I give them the time of day if they don't accept me as I am?

    And here's this, because I have to make a Persona joke before someone else does.
  19. What he said. Online me is way more outgoing. The IRL me is just too damn lazy and/or shy.
  20. I'm slightly more open and more talkative online, I suppose. :x I use a lot of emotes online to convey how I feel about things, but I don't have much success conveying emotions offline, mostly because I worry about annoying people. That said, I've been told all the emotion is in my eyes. At work, I'm a bit more open and I joke around a lot, because it's the only real place outside of Iwaku where I feel like I can kind of be myself without being judged much, though I still hold some things back at work. At home, I'm very closed off and I wear a mask, because reasons.
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