The Real Reason Why Asmo Is Never Around.

Blind Hemingway

A former executive or something.
Original poster
Invitation Status
,
Posting Speed
Slow As Molasses
Online Availability
NEVER
Writing Levels
Adept, Douche
Preferred Character Gender
Primarily Prefer Female
Genres
Surrealism, Surreal Horror (Think Tim Burton), Steampunk, Sci-Fi Fantasy, Spaghetti Westerns, Mercenaries, Dieselpunk, Cyberpunk, Historical fantasies
Now we have to come up with random guesses as to why he's really gone all the time now.

I believe he joined the circus.
 

Zypher

Can I transfer you to my manager?
Invitation Status
,
Writing Levels
Intermediate, Adept, Advanced
Preferred Character Gender
Male, Female
Genres
Adventure stories! They can be fantasy, modern, sci-fi, all kinds! Give me some good world travel stories and I'm all over it! I also enjoy romance stories and even though I tend to play females I love playing gay men.
He joined Britain's attempts to land on the moon, kick over our flag and plant their own
 
C

Corvus Corax

Guest
Is a transvestite dominatrix in training.

He. Must. Practice. Every. Day.
 

Zypher

Can I transfer you to my manager?
Invitation Status
,
Writing Levels
Intermediate, Adept, Advanced
Preferred Character Gender
Male, Female
Genres
Adventure stories! They can be fantasy, modern, sci-fi, all kinds! Give me some good world travel stories and I'm all over it! I also enjoy romance stories and even though I tend to play females I love playing gay men.
I sent a highly skilled seduction robot direct from Japan to seduce him. SHE'S NOT REAL!
 
G

Glazer

Guest
Clearly my prolonged absence has gradually been driving him mad, guffaw!
 

Blind Hemingway

A former executive or something.
Original poster
Invitation Status
,
Posting Speed
Slow As Molasses
Online Availability
NEVER
Writing Levels
Adept, Douche
Preferred Character Gender
Primarily Prefer Female
Genres
Surrealism, Surreal Horror (Think Tim Burton), Steampunk, Sci-Fi Fantasy, Spaghetti Westerns, Mercenaries, Dieselpunk, Cyberpunk, Historical fantasies
He lost a fight against a Scot and is in the ER now.
 
C

Corvus Corax

Guest
He gave someone a piggy back ride in the pub...further details must be dug up. Though, we suspect a kidnapping of this unknown person occured. It is also believed that Asmo is keeping them in his basement for torture with nightly readings of his novel.
 

Zypher

Can I transfer you to my manager?
Invitation Status
,
Writing Levels
Intermediate, Adept, Advanced
Preferred Character Gender
Male, Female
Genres
Adventure stories! They can be fantasy, modern, sci-fi, all kinds! Give me some good world travel stories and I'm all over it! I also enjoy romance stories and even though I tend to play females I love playing gay men.
He suffered a paper cut, was taken to the hospital and for reasons unknown (They think he's an alien) they have kept him for research
 
K

Kitti

Guest
Asmo has been secretly stalking Diana due to his final realization that he reciprocated her frivolous flirtations in a more serious way. Partly, he's been in the hospital every time Gibs sleep boxes.
 
K

Karsikan the Berzerker

Guest
He has become the polar opposite of the crazy cat lady. The Emotionally unstable dog man
 

Blind Hemingway

A former executive or something.
Original poster
Invitation Status
,
Posting Speed
Slow As Molasses
Online Availability
NEVER
Writing Levels
Adept, Douche
Preferred Character Gender
Primarily Prefer Female
Genres
Surrealism, Surreal Horror (Think Tim Burton), Steampunk, Sci-Fi Fantasy, Spaghetti Westerns, Mercenaries, Dieselpunk, Cyberpunk, Historical fantasies
He's busy trying to free Tibet because white people think that's important.
 

Zypher

Can I transfer you to my manager?
Invitation Status
,
Writing Levels
Intermediate, Adept, Advanced
Preferred Character Gender
Male, Female
Genres
Adventure stories! They can be fantasy, modern, sci-fi, all kinds! Give me some good world travel stories and I'm all over it! I also enjoy romance stories and even though I tend to play females I love playing gay men.

Vay

The Empress
Preferred Character Gender
Male, Female
Genres
Mostly Fantasy and Sci-fi, though I’ll do anything if the plot is good.
I'm going to guess hes out buying goth clothes and make up because his unicycle broke only hes in England where such things are frowned on over a mug of hot tea and thus is biding his time until no one is looking.
 

Zypher

Can I transfer you to my manager?
Invitation Status
,
Writing Levels
Intermediate, Adept, Advanced
Preferred Character Gender
Male, Female
Genres
Adventure stories! They can be fantasy, modern, sci-fi, all kinds! Give me some good world travel stories and I'm all over it! I also enjoy romance stories and even though I tend to play females I love playing gay men.
He was kidnapped by the ghost of Joan of Arc and is slowly being tortured until she is satisfied with revenge against the English.
 

Vay

The Empress
Preferred Character Gender
Male, Female
Genres
Mostly Fantasy and Sci-fi, though I’ll do anything if the plot is good.
Lucky bugger.
 

Diana

Divine Space Witch Ò◇Ó
ADMINISTRATOR
Invitation Status
Not accepting invites at this time
Online Availability
10AM - 10PM Daily
Preferred Character Gender
Female
He pressed that button I told him not to press in the AdminCP and now the authorities are currently trying to scrape him off the ceiling. >:[
 

Blind Hemingway

A former executive or something.
Original poster
Invitation Status
,
Posting Speed
Slow As Molasses
Online Availability
NEVER
Writing Levels
Adept, Douche
Preferred Character Gender
Primarily Prefer Female
Genres
Surrealism, Surreal Horror (Think Tim Burton), Steampunk, Sci-Fi Fantasy, Spaghetti Westerns, Mercenaries, Dieselpunk, Cyberpunk, Historical fantasies
Asmo got kidnapped by aliens and is getting probed by drunk alien phrat boys.
 
C

Corvus Corax

Guest
Diana got tired of him stealing her shoe. The left one. Always the left one.