The Punchline (Moose X Unbound)

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The Joker sped down towards seventh and Broadway, the metal music blasting as loud as it could with that car's stereo system. Not loud enough for his taste, they needed to hear him coming in a cacophony of symphonic metal and warsongs. War would be coming, the new thugs were just the beginning, Black Mask needed to relearn something. Something that the Joker had to keep reminding him of, Gotham was his. Perhaps a more permanent lesson would be necessary. They made it to the barrier of police cars in front of the jewelry shop, there was only three, probably most of the men were trying to chase the Joker to the radio shack he had just left.

He shook his head and chuckled as he hit the gas, the police looked up from their cars and their eyes grew wide, and they had a moment to regret their choice of career before the Joker cut off their last thoughts. He yanked up the emergency break and turned the wheel, skidding them into three of the police officers. Only three were left, the man with the megaphone in his hand, and two officers who were leaning on the trunks of their car leisurely. The Joker came out and looked down at one of the men underneath his wheels, still conscious.

The officers turned and went for their guns, and the Joker dove under his car, grabbing two of the guns of the officers suffering a gruesome death between his wheels. He looked to the twitching officer who was still breathing, reading his name badge. They opened fire, "I wouldn't do that if I were you officers. Officer Terence here is still alive." They kept firing and he grimaced, "Not falling for that one, are they..." He mused until a stray bullet hit Terence and he coughed up blood.

"Stop!" the officer with the megaphone shouted. They hesitated a moment, but that was all he needed. He popped out from under the car and shot each of the officers that had been firing at him. They would still be alive, just knocked down. Center mass to knock them down, headshots to finish the job. He shot the officer with the megaphone in the knee as the man reached for his gun, he screamed and clutched his knee in pain as he fell. The Joker got up and hopped out, dusting himself off.

He bent down and picked up the megaphone, "Hello common criminals!" He shouted into it, "I imagine you've heard my voice on the news at least once or twice, so you know who I am. I'm coming in. I don't think I need to tell you what will happen if you fire at me." He dropped the megaphone, the first group of thugs he gathered didn't ever know it was a bluff, and after the first group, he never bluffed again. He took one gun in with him and walked up to the glass front door, pulling on the handle. It didn't come free and he grimaced, noticing it was locked. One of the masked men ran to the door, going to unlock it, but the Joker was out of patience.

He shot the glass, causing it to shatter and break open. He stepped through the broken door and held up his gun hand in a wave, "Don't mind me gentlemen, I'm just doing some shopping." He walked over to the jewelry case and looked over the thick lockets and chains, looking to see if they stocked gold bouillon.

One of the men gulped before speaking "Umm... Should we just go?" he asked, looking at the Joker. The Joker knew he used to be the leader.

"No, you work for me now." He found a white-gold locket and smashed the display case. He took the locket and pocketed it before looking around, no one had moved since he came in, good, he could take his time a bit. He looked over the watches next to the necklaces and saw a few that said Rolex on it, he picked up 5 of them, pocketing four and putting a white gold one on his wrist. He looked at the clock on the wall and adjusted the time till it was accurate, then nodded. He looked over the rest of the items, finding his way to some American Buffalo and double eagle coins. He smiled, just what he needed.

He smashed the display and pocketed all of them, "Your cut for this job and every job after is whatever you can get your hands on, so long as I don't take a fancy to it. Right now, I'm feeling it for some gold, anything platinum or silver you can keep for yourself, so you might want to raid the displays again. We leave in one minute." He said, walking slowly out the door and heading back to the car, opening the door and holding the white gold necklace out for Harley, "You can come to the front now, the five of them will have to pile in back." He said, soon the men were running out of the shop, covered in more jewelry than were in their bags.

"Toss the bags in the trunk then climb in back, yes, all of you, I hear any squabbling I start shooting." He said, waving his gun meaningfully. They nodded and tossed the bags in back and sat down in back, sure enough, all of the jewelry they had was silver.
 
As the Joker went about his business, Harley simply watched out of the window, like a puppy. It was amazing, how he carried himself, how it all seemed so seamless and simple for him. She had always thought committing crimes was something difficult and tricky to do successfully, but he was pulling it off with ease. It was amazing, she couldn't get enough of just watching him. She knew she was falling for him; the way he carried himself, the way he demanded authority and obedience just by existing. She bit her bottom lip, watching as he slowly made his way into the store, where she lost sight of him.

When he came and opened the door, she had simply been waiting patiently. When she heard it open, part of her expected it to be a police officer or something, maybe the Batman, so she tensed in fear; but as soon as she saw the Joker's face, her own lit up in happiness and excitement. She quickly got out the car, looking at the necklace he held towards her.

"It's amazing! Thank you Mistah J!" She squealed happily, gently taking it from his hand and putting it around her neck. Wow, it was heavy, but it was so beautiful and amazing, especially having come from The Joker. She couldn't help but give him a light hug, just something quick, before following his instructions and going quickly to the front seat, sitting in and waiting patiently as she fiddled with the locket attached to the necklace.
 
He smiled at her happy squeels, the boys settled in back, quietly. He looked at his little Motley crew and nodded to himself, "All right, the first thing we have to do is get some new outfits, no offense to Schneider, but white isn't a good color for my line of work." He cackled, "Time to update our wardrobes. Then we're going to get some cheap steel." He shifted the car into gear and sped off, "All right, we need to go to a little crafts and hobbies place, the kind of place they would have sewing machines and all that noise." Traffic started up, it was rush hour.

The Joker grinned as he started weaving through the stop and go traffic, mounting the curb when he ran out of gaps that he could make it through. Soon enough there were police attracted to their location, only a few cars. Joker regretted smashing the police scanner, he wanted to hear what Bane was up to. He was probably tearing into the city, Black Mask probably had his hands full with the war, and the police had their hands full with containing it. The Joker turned through an intersection, drifting in the little bug, cackling again. He pulled into a strip mall parking lot and crashed into the front of a Jo-ann's fabric and crafts. He hopped out and looked around, "Of course, little craft shop and no one has cameras." The Joker muttered, "All right everybody!" He shouted, shooting his gun into the air, "No need to be afraid of us, we're not going to harm any of you! We're just going to take our... Purchases, and leave peacefully. Boys, stay up front, me and the little lady are going to go pick out some fabrics."

He looked over the workers and saw one with a manager nametag, "You, show us to where we can find the silks, I feel fancy today." He said, winking to Harley and motioning her to follow, "Don't worry, no one is looking at you, the more witnesses the better. People are going to be arguing about what your height is, much less know what your face is like." He explained, "There are going to be rumors circulating, but who says they're not true?" He said with a chuckle. They got back to the silks.

"Is there anything else I can help you with?" The manager asked nervously.

"No, thank you, just go to the boys up front." He pointed to the fabrics, "All right, Harley, see anything you like?
 
Harley simply followed the Joker's words to the letter, admiring the necklace as they drove to the fabrics store. She followed at his heels happily through the store, looking around with a smile as they went back towards the silks. She loved the way in which the Joker instilled such fear into so many people, simply by being there. But, he hadn't done that to her; she hadn't been afraid of him when they met, and now she was falling for him. In a way, she was more afraid of him now.

Harley laughed as he spoke, giggling lightly. "What type o' rumors?" She chuckled girlishly as they went to the back. Her eyes darted to the selection of silks as soon as the Joker gestured towards them, walking over happily and examining each and every one. THey were oh so soft and pretty, she couldn't decide. But, she was really liking the red and black that she had going on now, so she thought that would be a good start.

"What'd ya think would look best on me, Mistah J?" She asked giddily, holding up some red silk and some black, hugging it against her curves as she stood there, waiting for his opinion. She didn't know where she picked up the whole Mistah J thing, but she liked the sound of it, so she'd stick to it.
 
She asked about the rumors and he chuckled and replied simply, "What else do small minded people talk about, my dear? The rumors that we are a thing. I think you may be my first female henchmen. People are stupid, people talk." He said, looking over the colors with her, he picked out a light purple for himself, taking the whole ream of fabric. He set it on his shoulder and watched as Harley excitedly went over the fabrics for herself. He knew which ones she was going to pick and smiled, "Both look good. We'll take both. Now... I need a cotton for the pants and the jacket, don't worry, we'll find it ourselves. Come along." He said to Harley, turning and heading along the aisles of fabric to thicker finely woven cottons.

He ran his hand over them, picking out a purple, and then a green for his vest, the plush fabric feeling smooth against his skin. He then grabbed a red and a black ream of cottons, "The men need masks, all the better to blend in for our little Motley crew." He said with a chuckle, heading out to the front, "All right boys, we're heaing back out! Get back in the clown car, take our items and scram." He said, handing the reams of fabric to one of them and kicking him before he went running to the car, the others following.

"Thank you all for your time, but we really must be going. Batman's sure to be hot on our tails" He said with a chuckle, heading out to the car where the men were already waiting in back, "Now, to find us a humble abode, cheap steel... Hmm, one of the abandoned foundries should be good." He said with a grin, hopping in the driver's seat.
 
Harley smiled as the Joker said he liked the fabrics, following him to the cottons and simply standing by idly as he selected out several colours. She loved his attention to detail, the way he would examine the fabrics before selecting them, his pale fingers dancing over the reds, blacks, greens and purples. She giggled when the Joker chuckled, enjoying the sound of his voice and his laugh.

She followed him at his heels, watching as he interacted with the thugs they had acquired. It was strange, being on this side of things; usually she was at the other end, waiting for the criminals to slip up and find themselves in Arkham. Now, she was the one who was being waited on by whoever they would get to replace her.

"Oooh, when will I get to meet Batsy?" Harley asked at the mention of Batman, walking around to the passenger's seat of the car. She got in, buckling up, waiting for them to set on their way once again.
 
She asked about his favorite man and he chuckled, "Oh, soon enough, we have to pay someone a little visit first." He grinned with a smile, "It's time to see if someone else can make pie just the way I like it." He laughed as they sped down the road towards the industrial area. Soon. Soon.

****

They arrived at an abandoned Steel Foundry and the Joker hopped out, "Here we are boys, our new home away from home. Here, take the clown car and rob a sporting goods store, I want steel toed hiking boots and a few sleeping bags, tents, and some fire starting equipment. Get some firewood if they sell that." He said, holding out his hands for the fabric and holding them under arm as he went into the trunk and grabbed out the bags of jewelry, "Don't worry about your cut boys, I don't care about the silver and platinum, I just want the gold." The boys nodded and drove off, happy to be putting some physical distance between them, "Don't worry, they'll be back, they've remembered what Black Mask and his lieutenants have forgotten. Gotham, is mine." He said, walking into the now missing entry doors of the foundry.

"Time to tidy up a bit..." The Joker cleared his throat and cupped his hands around his mouth to amplify his voice, "Joker's back in town!" Finishing up with a bit of cackling. There was rustling as several homeless men shot up where they were sleeping on the floor and rushed out, startling the rats that follow them on their way out. The Joker ran his finger over what appeared to have one point, been a conveyer belt and rubbed his fingers together, grime falling off of them, "The tents are temporary, as we gather more followers, we'll have this place fixed up into a true circus tent."

He used his arm to wipe down some of the dust on the conveyer belt, the grime sticking to his white suit. The conveyer was clean though. He set the fabric down on it and set down the bag of loot from the jewelry store, "Be a dear, go through that, put the boy's cut in one pile and mine in another, I'm going to try and find a working furnace." He said, walking away, kicking detritus out of the way as he went along.
 
When they finally got to the foundry, Harley stepped out of the car and looked at the place in a strange wonder. It seemed large, that was for sure, but she had definitely expected something different. Maybe a large apartment, or an abandoned basement, but not a large foundry. However, it wasn't bad, and any place with the Joker was a place she could get used to.

She followed him in, watching at how it sort of sprung to life when he called, various people and rats jostling about. She looked around, taking it all in. So, this was the Joker's hideout, his lair, where all his incredible plans sprung from and came back to. Sure, it could use some work. Okay, a lot of work, but it would get there.

She turned her attention back to the Joker when he spoke up, snapping back into reality from being lost in her thoughts. "Of course, anything for you." She said happily, smiling as she went to work sorting everything out from the bag, putting anything gold in one pile, and anything platinum in another. There were so many nice things, but she didn't consider pocketing anything whatsoever, that would be bad. So, she continued sorting it all, lost in her own world as the joker went off searching.
 
The Joker cleaned up as he went along and he eventually got to a furnace that looked mostly intact, "Perfect." He said, clearing out the area around the furnace before heading back to Harley who had finished separating the Jewelry by the time he got back. He looked at his pile of golden jewelry and shook his head, "It's a bit more than I need, pick out a few things that you like, I want the gold for utility, not avarice. Preferedly, take some of the stuff with more gems in it because I'll hardly be able to use those." He explained as he sifted through the pile, looking for the particularly large chunks of gold.

"You would have loved the last place it was an old closed hospital, closed by the Waynes when it didn't live up to stringent standards, so they opened up a new one, and let the old one go to rot. I don't know what Brucie did with it after I was locked up, but it was a nice, clean set-up. With a clear pecking order, the closer you were to the kitchen, the higher up on the food chain you were." He chuckled, "To that end, the cook chose to live there, lazy ponce. He kept it clean and all that... I wonder what happened to him..."

After a few moments of pondering, "Oh, that's right, Black Mask. We need to remind him just who this town belongs to before we start messing with Batman and company, sooner rather than later, Bane is a more difficult opponent and he has a head start on us..." He tapped his fingers on the floor, "They're going to turn this city into a warzone and we need to hurry before we start just picking up the scraps..."
 
Harley almost jumped when the Joker spoke up, having not heard his approach as she finished sorting the jewellery. When he suggested she take a few things, her face practically lit up. There had been a few things she liked the look of, and now she had permission to find them and keep them all for herself. So, she rummaged in the pile, taking out a nice golden necklace and matching bracelet littered with gems of various kinds. She also took out a few golden rings, gems perched on them, and slid them gently onto her fingers.

"That sounds awful fancy Mr. J." She spoke as he described his old base. She loved hospitals, prisons, anything really that allowed her the equipment to delve into people's minds and find out what makes them, well... them. But, the Joker seemed to be diverting her from that want, he was more than enough for her to be satisfied with. He was just so complex and unique, that she fond herself falling for him and forgetting about wanting to unravel his mind. But who knew, maybe the two would go hand in hand eventually. "Maybe we should go check what batsy did to it once we have some spare time?" She suggested in a carefree way, admiring the new jewellery she had acquired for herself. She would have never even hoped to acquire a single bit of the set on her old salary, but now she had it all.

"Oooohhhh, how should we deal with Black Mask? Rough him up a bit? Spook some of his henchmen?" Harley giggled. She didn't know what she was going on about, the wars of Gotham had never been her focus, simply the subjects that said battles brought to her. But now, she was going to be involved, and the sheer thought of it was thrilling.
 
He nodded when she said it sounded fancy, "Oh it was. I have to make a new base every time I get out, Batman always finds it and then either destroys it or does something else with it. I care about the cowl, not the man under it, Bruce Wayne may dress as batman, but Batman he is not, both roles played by the same man. They both exploit their other persona." She suggested finding out what had been done to it since he had been in Arkham, he smiled at that, a thought creeping across his mind as she did," Oh yes, we'll definitely do that!" He said cackling.

"Some of my men, the smarter among them, would have joined black mask while I was in prison, or they would have gone straight. The ones who went straight while I was in, we don't need to pay them any attention, but the ones who joined black mask, well... We need to show them who's boss. The ones who still have any loyalty left in them would have gathered under one of Black Mask's lieutenants, they're smart and loyal to me, but Black Mask wouldn't trust them, so they would stay as low levels. But they would also know that they couldn't get away from Black Mask without me, so we need to find the Black Mask thugs that have the highest concentration of my former followers, and kill their lieutenant. That should be a message enough for the ones who went straight, and my army will be suddenly bolstered."

"We need to do it quick though, god only knows if Bane will stumble upon them in his own war with Black Mask." He laughed, "The city will burn, regardless of the fact I am out. We're working against each other, but even that doesn't make things easier for the bat." He began to cackle, "Let the games begin!" He shouted, picking up his share of the jewelry and stuffing it in the bag. He began to pick through the steel, testing the weight of various chunks and pieces on the floor, making his way back to the furnace.
 
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