if i'm dead to you, why are you at the wake?
my tears ricochet
Gabi could practically see the gears in his mind turning as he considered her plea. Maybe she should have stuck to her normal methods of persuasion instead of honesty. It felt…weird. She held her breath as he let out a deep sigh. "Alright, you got it," he said, though he sounded like he was already seriously doubting his decision.
She couldn't believe it. The relief was palpable both on her face and in her voice as she said, "Thank you. You won't regret this." As long as I can keep you away from Aster. And anyone who wants to ask you about Orion. And anyone holding a gun… she added silently, propelling herself away from the control box as he made a move towards it. She looked over his shoulder as he worked, hoping to make some sense of what he was doing, but the different screens he accessed all flashed by too quickly. Out of her depth, indeed.
"She'll wake up at her own pace. Walk-err, float with me. We'll figure this out together." A decidedly foreign feeling settled in her chest at those words. She was accustomed to operating alone. She'd spent all those years in the far reaches of the galaxy by herself, and as soon as the crew for The Cotopaxi had been assembled she'd gone off on her own again. Together. With him. She swallowed around the sudden lump in her throat and floated after him in silence, not trusting herself to speak at that particular moment.
By the time they were passing by the AI core, the moment had passed and she was able to answer his question about bookmarked locations in a steady voice. "Yes. The Zharian system. The crew's waiting for me there," she said, a small part of her hoping that he'd consent to coming along once he had finished getting the ship flight-ready. It couldn't hurt to ask…could it?
They drifted further down the corridor, but Gabi paused as they approached an all-too-familiar door, allowing him to get ahead of her by a decent amount. "After you," he said. She took a deep breath and nodded, then propelled herself the rest of the way down the corridor and slid the paneled door open.
It was as if Zama had never left.
The quarters looked as though a bomb had been set off, but unlike the rest of the ship, it had been left that way purposefully by the occupant. "A tidy room is basically a signal that the occupant has an empty mind," he had liked to say whenever her mother would get onto him about it. Underneath the mishmash of clothes, books, and various electronic parts was a simple yet open floor plan. The quarters had been separated into two distinct areas, one being the entrance and main living area, which took up about two-thirds of the space. The bedroom was separated from it by a low wall that didn't quite reach the ceiling. She knew the only item of furniture there would be the bed that Zama had slept in. Fondness and nostalgia welled up in her heart as she remembered him allowing her to sleep there after the numerous nightmares she'd have. Looking back on it now, she was starting to doubt that's all they had been. The feeling vanished as quickly as it had appeared as she looked around the living area, trying to remember where the captain's safe was located. The door they'd just come through was on the far left of the room, with all of the furniture being to their right. A desk was situated behind two comfortable loveseats, not that they were visible. The desk was the only somewhat uncluttered surface in the entire place. Her eyes drifted around the room. "From what I can remember, the safe is behind a panel - here?" she said, drifting to the wall perpendicular to them. She knocked on a spot a little less than halfway up and nothing happened. On her third try, a panel a little to the right of her first guess slowly slid open, as if protesting at being disturbed. Bingo.
"He...didn't give me the password," she said, the realization striking her as the words left her mouth. "Dammit." Maybe that meant the secondary access key wasn't here. But it was also equally likely that he had withheld the information on purpose in an attempt to set her up for some kind of moral epiphany. "Hold on." She switched comms to the channel she had open with BD. "BD, do you read me?" His cheerful answering chirp was a relief to hear - a little bit of normalcy on this very bizarre day. "Try to get ahold of Zama for me, please. I need the password to his safe."
She waited a few minutes for a response, wracking her brain for possibilities and even trying a few, but much to her dismay it wasn't any of her guesses: her birthday, the date the Resistance had been founded, 1234, 696969…she was on the verge of asking Perseus if he knew when Orion's birthday was or if perhaps he had a catch phrase when BD hopped into the channel. He is saying he doesn't remember, he chirped. "Like hell he doesn't," she grumbled. "Thanks anyway." She switched back to the public comm.
"Unfortunately I think this is a dead…end…" she trailed off, as a conversation she'd had with him just prior to leaving came back to her.
"Someday, I think you'll be ready to be captain," he'd said to her as he stood on the loading dock, watching her load the last of the equipment onto her personal shuttle.
"First of all, I may not find The Cotopaxi. Secondly, I'd be a terrible leader," she'd replied.
"You may surprise yourself, on both fronts. Someday, you'll find it. And someday, you'll be ready to lead."
"We have you. Nobody needs me for that."
"I won't always be around, Gabs. Someday you'll have a choice to make."
She huffed in irritation and switched the keypad to the alphabet. If she was right about this…she typed in TODAY and hit enter. The safe beeped its affirmation and swung open.
She couldn't believe it. The relief was palpable both on her face and in her voice as she said, "Thank you. You won't regret this." As long as I can keep you away from Aster. And anyone who wants to ask you about Orion. And anyone holding a gun… she added silently, propelling herself away from the control box as he made a move towards it. She looked over his shoulder as he worked, hoping to make some sense of what he was doing, but the different screens he accessed all flashed by too quickly. Out of her depth, indeed.
"She'll wake up at her own pace. Walk-err, float with me. We'll figure this out together." A decidedly foreign feeling settled in her chest at those words. She was accustomed to operating alone. She'd spent all those years in the far reaches of the galaxy by herself, and as soon as the crew for The Cotopaxi had been assembled she'd gone off on her own again. Together. With him. She swallowed around the sudden lump in her throat and floated after him in silence, not trusting herself to speak at that particular moment.
By the time they were passing by the AI core, the moment had passed and she was able to answer his question about bookmarked locations in a steady voice. "Yes. The Zharian system. The crew's waiting for me there," she said, a small part of her hoping that he'd consent to coming along once he had finished getting the ship flight-ready. It couldn't hurt to ask…could it?
They drifted further down the corridor, but Gabi paused as they approached an all-too-familiar door, allowing him to get ahead of her by a decent amount. "After you," he said. She took a deep breath and nodded, then propelled herself the rest of the way down the corridor and slid the paneled door open.
It was as if Zama had never left.
The quarters looked as though a bomb had been set off, but unlike the rest of the ship, it had been left that way purposefully by the occupant. "A tidy room is basically a signal that the occupant has an empty mind," he had liked to say whenever her mother would get onto him about it. Underneath the mishmash of clothes, books, and various electronic parts was a simple yet open floor plan. The quarters had been separated into two distinct areas, one being the entrance and main living area, which took up about two-thirds of the space. The bedroom was separated from it by a low wall that didn't quite reach the ceiling. She knew the only item of furniture there would be the bed that Zama had slept in. Fondness and nostalgia welled up in her heart as she remembered him allowing her to sleep there after the numerous nightmares she'd have. Looking back on it now, she was starting to doubt that's all they had been. The feeling vanished as quickly as it had appeared as she looked around the living area, trying to remember where the captain's safe was located. The door they'd just come through was on the far left of the room, with all of the furniture being to their right. A desk was situated behind two comfortable loveseats, not that they were visible. The desk was the only somewhat uncluttered surface in the entire place. Her eyes drifted around the room. "From what I can remember, the safe is behind a panel - here?" she said, drifting to the wall perpendicular to them. She knocked on a spot a little less than halfway up and nothing happened. On her third try, a panel a little to the right of her first guess slowly slid open, as if protesting at being disturbed. Bingo.
"He...didn't give me the password," she said, the realization striking her as the words left her mouth. "Dammit." Maybe that meant the secondary access key wasn't here. But it was also equally likely that he had withheld the information on purpose in an attempt to set her up for some kind of moral epiphany. "Hold on." She switched comms to the channel she had open with BD. "BD, do you read me?" His cheerful answering chirp was a relief to hear - a little bit of normalcy on this very bizarre day. "Try to get ahold of Zama for me, please. I need the password to his safe."
She waited a few minutes for a response, wracking her brain for possibilities and even trying a few, but much to her dismay it wasn't any of her guesses: her birthday, the date the Resistance had been founded, 1234, 696969…she was on the verge of asking Perseus if he knew when Orion's birthday was or if perhaps he had a catch phrase when BD hopped into the channel. He is saying he doesn't remember, he chirped. "Like hell he doesn't," she grumbled. "Thanks anyway." She switched back to the public comm.
"Unfortunately I think this is a dead…end…" she trailed off, as a conversation she'd had with him just prior to leaving came back to her.
"Someday, I think you'll be ready to be captain," he'd said to her as he stood on the loading dock, watching her load the last of the equipment onto her personal shuttle.
"First of all, I may not find The Cotopaxi. Secondly, I'd be a terrible leader," she'd replied.
"You may surprise yourself, on both fronts. Someday, you'll find it. And someday, you'll be ready to lead."
"We have you. Nobody needs me for that."
"I won't always be around, Gabs. Someday you'll have a choice to make."
She huffed in irritation and switched the keypad to the alphabet. If she was right about this…she typed in TODAY and hit enter. The safe beeped its affirmation and swung open.
cursing my name, wishing i stayed...
Code by Jenamos