The Pact (XWhySoSeriousX and Vermiciro)

Discussion in 'ROLEPLAY GRAVEYARD' started by Vermiciro, Jun 27, 2015.

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  1. Group therapy wasn’t the cathartic release and emotional support that the psychiatric hospital advertised it to be. It wasn’t even the kumbaya, bi-weekly, mutual wound licking session Minerva had cynically expected it to be a year ago. No, group therapy was just like grade school all over again except with more medical excuses.

    There were small cliques of girls who would make jokes before session and would get coffee afterwards. There was that one guy, the only guy in the group, who never showed up. And the skinny chick who had a boyfriend and a job like a normal person and who made the group listen to an Eminem song because she felt it expressed her feelings. Then there was the majority, those who didn’t participate, either furtively glancing about or checking their phones.

    Over the last three months the group Minerva was part of had grown to fourteen participants. Fourteen people between the ages of sixteen and twenty-five, all with differing arrays of disorder. Their only reason for being put together was their age, the transitional gap between adolescence and adulthood. To make group therapy even worse, another member was joining today.

    Minerva toyed with the pilling on the inside of her hoodie pocket, waiting for session to begin. She just wanted to get it over with. She wanted a drink. And most of all, she wanted to go home, wherever home was. It certainly wasn’t anywhere under the indifferent stars above.
  2. Ophelia just looked at the building sighing to herself as she slipped her glasses on and stiff outside for a while. Did the place actually have to be in a church like God was going to help the crazy people's if he wanted to help them so bad then he wouldn't have made them this way in the first place.

    Already feeling a bit of annoyance she pushed her beanie firmly in her head, fixed the glasses that sat comfortably on the bridge of her nose, and headed into her hell, oh the irony was hilarious to her. Walking inside her high waisted jeans hugging each curve she had and her sweatshirt showing her tattoos and belly button piercing Ophelia walked up to the middle of the lobby and looked at the signs. The only reason she was hear was because her poor old grandmother figured that this would be the thing that saved her soul. A group therapy session would show her the joys of other crazy people and make her feel welcomed wen in reality she knew exactly what this was going to be.

    It was going to be a bunch of people crying about their issues and giving pity looks to the people that took the chair, of course that's what it was going to be cause that's what it always was. It always was the same thing and that's what annoyed her the most. Finally finding the therapy room she looked around as most eyes fell on her, of course because she was new or the other reason could have been that her hair was the color of an Easter egg.

    She took a few steps in and sighed quietly to herself before she found a chair and sat down. The girl beside her had short black hair and a face that was too familiar. Of course she wasn't going to open her mouth about it so she kept quiet with her glasses covering her weirdly light eyes as she looked around waiting for this idiotic pity fest to start.
  3. A subtle catatonia traveling on panic flooded Minerva’s bloodstream, chemical recognition before she could ever recall the name. She knew the girl who sat beside her, the fifteenth member, the new addition. She knew her face like the scent of an herb, familiar but elusive. Minerva couldn’t remember where she had first seen the young woman. Had it been so long?

    The therapist closed the door, signaling the beginning of their session. Clipboard in hand, she checked off those who were in attendance. Minerva listened, watching the woman’s pen scratch down her list. Waiting. Waiting. She finally set the pen to rest and introduced their newest member.

    “Joining us today is Ms. Ophelia Hurmane. Please make her feel welcome.”

    Minerva grunted in unison with the group’s greeting, but her mind was cycling fast through memories she had long tucked away. It was years ago, but certain words still echoed clarion and sharp. Youthful badinage that passed the time, inside jokes that had long since lost their charm, and typical teenage bosh were coming back to Minerva. Those long bus rides back in high-school, she remembered them.
  4. The woman that stood in front of them seemed to care but not care all the same. She called down the list of names that earned no interest from her until she heard a familiar name. A name she hadn't heard since she could have actually called herself, okay at least. Old memories flooded in and took a quick peek over at the girl that shared the familiar face and name. The girl that was her friend quite some time ago.

    "Now today brings a new that and we haven't seen each other in a week, how about we go around and talk about the week we had and then we'll do group pairings so that we could get a more personal one on one experience...Minerva why don't you start and then we'll go around" The poor woman had good intentions, but she just seemed annoying. Like one of those therapists that force them self on you to try and fix you.

    Turning to face her old companion Ophelia smiled crossing her arms over her chest. All the secrets shared, every joke had, was with her cause she couldn't really make friends. Well she could. It none of the people that were her 'friends' actually cared about her. "Go on Minerva don't be shy, show our newest member how we speak to each other" The blonde woman had pushed a bit of her short hair behind her ear and looked around with big hopeful blue eyes. She seemed too nice to have to put up with this, especially now that Ophelia was here.

    For some reason the cynical and sadistic girl lived off of torturing poor little sweet therapist.
  5. Fate’s cruel design had once again pinned Minerva beneath the waiting gaze of ambivalent eyes. She said the same thing every session. Was this some sort of test? Was she supposed to have had a sudden epiphany, become loquacious and divulge a heart-retching story? Certainly not, and not with Ophelia beside her.

    Though Minerva had no ill memories of her former friend, she wasn’t exactly enthusiastic about reuniting with her, especially in therapy. Because years had passed. Things change with time, and though it wasn’t dramatically, Minerva had changed as well. Ophelia didn’t know about Minerva’s Buddhist-like approach to life, or the cuts on her thighs, or that being an alcoholic wasn’t a jest anymore, but a cold reality.

    Minerva tried to return her old friend’s smile, but it appeared weak in comparison. “I stayed home.” Minerva began, explaining her week as she always did. Her voice was flat, without cadence or lilt. “I didn’t go anywhere. I didn’t see anyone and I didn’t talk with anyone. Nothing new. Next.”
  6. "Okay....hopefully you'll open up to your partner...Minerva I don't know how many time I can tell you this but you won't get help if you don't ask for help..." The woman sighed and went around the circle asking the others about their day. And it was always the same convoluted statements that made her bored. "Well my boyfriend and I went on this date...I think it's getting pretty serious, he actually loves me for me" another girl even brought up how she went to the grave sight of her first pet because of...well she zoned out on the reason.

    But before she knew it her name was called and she was waking up from a pretty peaceful small nap. "Ms.Hurman, would you like to introduce yourself to the group, don't worry we're all friends here and there is no reason for you to be afraid or feel unwanted, the first step to receiving help is to open up..." Ophelia apart felt a laught bubble up but she decided to stifle it and actually take this seriously. "I'm batshit crazy like everyone I need to explain why I'm batshit crazy so you can nod and pretend you actually care"

    The room seemed to get quiet as she opened her mouth to say what she had, but the therapist seemed to sigh and smile nodding. "Yes you don't have to force it up you can open up to all of us, we're your friends..." Ophelia sighed and shrugged her shoulders acting nonchalant about what she was about to say. "I'm bipolar, and a schizophrenic...feel better?" She looked at everyone unamused and crossed her arms over her chest. Of course now everyone looked at her like she needed a hug and she instantly hated everyone, but that was normal behavior in her situation.
  7. Even when they were teenagers, Minerva couldn't remember her former friend speaking with much censorship. Maybe it was never in her nature. Minerva furtively cast Ophelia a knowing, if not slightly chastising, smile. The group was too big for anyone to care beyond what formality called for. Every condolence, platitude, and anodyne was readily doled out at any word of misfortune. They were balms of ephemeral alleviation at best, nothing lasting.

    The therapist smiled bitterly, her enthusiasm deflated some. "Communication is key to recovery. Hopefully some of you will be able to get something out of our next exercise. Everyone partner up for one on one conversation. After twenty minutes we'll review I Statements."

    Eager to dismiss the other group members, Minerva finally turned her complete attention to Ophelia, their knees almost bumping together like old times. "This isn't the best place for a high-school reunion." she quipped with a half-smile.
  8. "It's like you stole the words right out of my mouth, I mean but better in a therapy session then six feet under right?" Ophelia looked down quickly to see how close they were and smiled softly as her eyes trained back o the girl sitting in front of her. Old memories were just a smack in the face now, some stung and hurt like hell but most (if you were into that) felt amazing. The one that hurt the most, the day she couldn't seem to find Minerva and when she words were exchanged. One day they went from being so close to not even saying a word...or even saying that awkward hi in the halls to people you don't really know.

    "It's really nice to see you though none the less....but here, we aren't catching up with some crazy blonde staring over our shoulders, how about we get the hell out of here" she tried to withstand the first few minutes of this woman, but it didn't go so well...she would just tell her grandmother that she broke down and had to leave. "We'll just sneak out like we always used to..." Ophelia gave a mischevioys grin and raised her hand hoping to get the blondes attention.

    Once she had she leaned over to Minerva whispering only loud enough for her to hear. "Remember this one..." She pulled away just as the therapist had arrived and pulled her hand back down to her side. "I...kinda have to go to the bathroom" she whispered as if she was shy about saying that small natural statement.
    "Well have you two talked about anything, I would really hate for your partner to have nothing to go over for I Statements" Ophelia quickly nodded an award winning fake smile on her face, "Yeah she shared so much with me about her....well you know it's just my friend visited me early and I have to go check it out..." She looked at her wth confusion before she actually understood what she was saying and nodded her head frantically, "Oh of course but get back I don't want you to miss anything"

    "But that's the problem....I have, wow this is embarrassing...but I have a fear of public bathrooms because my mom...I've never told anyone this but my mom was, brutally murdered in a public could j bring my partner with me" A few fake tears here and there and the woman was putty in her hands as she looked at her with a sympathetic therapist look. "Of course Ophelia, I'm happy that you told me that...both of you hurry back okay" she nodded and wiped the fake tears that she had mustered up and grabbed Minerva's and before she walked out of the pity room.

    "Wow I didn't think that would actually work" she chuckled and let go of Minerva's hand with her mischevioys smile still playing in her face.
  9. There was hardly a breathe's time for Minerva to voice her opinion one way or another. Not even a moment for ambivalence before she was dragged off, out into the main hallway of the church and heading nowhere near the restrooms. Though Minerva hadn't expected to see the bathroom anyway. Ophelia had verbalized that such was merely an excuse before their departure from therapy.

    As they moved beyond the range of eavesdropping Minerva sighed playfully. "Even years later I find myself roped into your devilish tricks." She noted the glint of child's mischief in Ophelia's eyes. The young woman could be an impish little shit at times, and that was something Minerva thought was perhaps her most endearing quality.

    "I can't believe that worked either." she confessed. "You must have caught her quite off guard. You're not the most glib liar, but you've certainly the charisma to sell a load of rot." Minerva looked to the sky growing dark and overcast. "Would you like to take my car, or have you one of your own?" she asked, though in truth is was her parent's old car, still in their name.
  10. "Oh stop you hurt my heart...they aren't devilish, in fact I was saving you from that hell the blonde bimbo set up, you should be thanking me that you don't have to talk about your week anymore" Ophelia chuckled pushing her pastel green hair behind her ear with a soft smile as she stuck her hands in her pockets. "Well I have a car but I walked here since I don't live that far off...but why don't we get some ice cream and go to the park, they still have that tree we used to sit in"

    Their giving tree, sometimes she found herself sitting in that tree for hours and hours. But it always helped when she had someone sitting with her so she always felt a bit better. Looking over at the short haired girl Ophelia found herself looking her up and down then focused her attention back in front of her. She hadn't changed that much but she still seemed off, way different than what she had seemed when they were younger.

    "So you up for it...or do you have a bedtime, if so I don't want to interrupt" she teased smirking elbowing the taller girl beside her. Honestly she wasn't ready to get him and lie to her grandmother yet because that woman could bore holes into her soul. But she wouldn't mind hanging out with her old friend instead of getting stared down by a little old lady.
  11. Silently, Minerva had to admit that Ophelia had saved her valuable minutes of time and a surfeit of energy. Any argument was cogent enough to keep her from group therapy. The weekly session likely took more years off her life than the screwdrivers, and Minerva was generous on the vodka she mixed into them.

    "I think I'm down for some ice cream." Minerva agreed to the proposal, adjusting her hoodie. She'd never been fond of ice cream, but milkshakes were good. So were waffle cones. A little sweetness could even be nice for a change.

    "I haven't been to the park in ages." she admitted softly. Except to see physicians and therapists, Minerva hadn't even been out of her parent's house in such a long, long time. And despite the charm in meeting Ophelia again, Minerva hadn't missed the world. There wasn't any place for her there.
  12. "Neither have I..." She chuckled and looked up at the sky smiling. "Actually the last time I went was before we fell out..." She said softly not realizing what she had said. The whole thing had affected her at first but she learned to get over it, in fact drugs and fake friends helped her get over it. Which in fact wasn't the best way because now look where she was. But she bit her lower lip anyway as she stopped taking her hands out of her pockets then put them right back deeper in her pockets.

    She was going to ask what had happened but figured that was a question for another day so she continued walking. It wasn't that she missed her it was just a nice view to see that she wasn't the only one from high school who had lost their minds. Well she herself was destined to go crazy since she was voted most likely to become a serial killer in the year book, not because she had killer tendencies but mainly because her sensitivity or emotional meter just wasn't there. That meter had broken a long time ago.

    "Would it be cheesy if I said that I missed you..." Her focus was everywhere but Minerva's face as she had said that. She was a bit embarrassed because, well she had missed the girl despite her wanting to admit that. "Cause I did, you didn't mind my potty mouth and you weren't as idiotic as the other people society adores..."
  13. Before we fell out...

    Those words echoed in Minerva's chest, the reverberations growing exponentially sharper. She didn't know how to explain her withdrawal from the world and everyone around her. Every time she tried to express it, Minerva felt like she was blaming them, and that wasn't true. It wasn't anyone's fault. It just was. She had lost interest in everything gradually and then sudden. The only place she wanted to be was in her head, far away, where money, expectations, recommendations, and stress never touched her.

    Minerva tried to put it from her thoughts, ashamed of her own feelings and distance. It wouldn't do her any good to let such darker emotions surge up within her. Ophelia was beside her, she didn't want to burden the other young woman with her idiosyncrasies and the life they has fostered.

    She smiled softly, listening to the other. "Nothing's cheesy if it's honest." Minerva commented. "True, I never minded your crass pejoratives, but I can't say I'm less idiotic than any other person. After all, I'm so maladaptive I can't maintain a life." she smiled bitterly in confession.
  14. "No you're just maintaining a better one...just embecause you block yourself off from the world doesn't mean shit...I know that doesn't sound as intelligent but you've got balls my friend, I could have never done what you did no matter how much I wanted to...cause deep down I was afraid" she said softly finally admitting why she turned to the bad things in life just to feel some happiness. She was afraid of being alone, of hearing the voices just telling her to off herself. Getting used to them was the easiest part but hearing what they thought about you...hurt more than anything cause it was essentially what you thought of yourself.

    "But anyways I don't want to talk about why I'm afraid to disconnect from life and why you are disconnected from life...tell me how you've been, well if you're in threapy it's not to well but just talk to me like we used to..." Ophelia looked over at her and shrugged smiling softly. She wasn't going to lie to herself, she definitely missed having her around but at this rate if she was still pushing people away then their friendship probably wasn't going to make another jump start.

    That's why she kept her hopes from raising too much. Hoping had always been her strength and her weakness though she saw it as more of a weakness than a strength. She hadn't wanted to get her hopes up just for the other to break them once more by just disappearing and losing contact with her once more. "That your car...I remember when you used to drive that to school, you still have it?"
  15. It wasn't a better life. What Minerva had been maintaining could hardly even be called a life. It was stagnation, vegetation, a waiting period that preluded the inevitable. The resources needed to sustain her body were paid for and provided by her parents. Minerva couldn't even will herself to get a job, let alone hold one. She had no friends, no contacts, no references. She couldn't connect. But Minerva felt she had already made such things clear. Passive, she kept her opinions to herself, they weren't worth further statement.

    "Like we use to." Minerva echoed Ophelia's words quietly. She didn't think she'd be able to speak as flippantly as in her teenage years. She doubted she could even dissimulate the tone. The topic, however, Minerva didn't find as difficult. "I've been fine." she said succinctly, pausing before she explained. "There are decent days and low days. Comme ci, comme ca. My physical health had deteriorated some from more astringent foods and my sedentary activities. It's a miracle I'm not overweight." Memories of weeks spent binge drinking every other day came back in a blur. Minerva could almost taste the sick-sweet flavor of Southern Comfort.

    As they passed the winter-rusted piece of shit Minerva had the privilege of driving she nodded to Ophelia positively. "Same one. It runs on spite alone, I swear. The engine purrs like a two pack a week smoker, and it's lucky to reach speeds over 60. Once you hit 70 everything starts to rattle." Minerva sighed at the vehicle in vexation. "What about you?" she asked, "How've you been."
  16. Ophelia chuckled at her question and looked over at her with a smile. "I've been fine..." She said then walked to get over on the other side. Unlike Minerva she hadn't explained what that meant cause it was a total lie. She's been hoodwinking her own self, telling herself that she could be sober or everything's okay. Even tells herself that own lie as she snorts a single filed line of pure cocaine and takes a small puff of cannabis. Chewing on her lower lip she finally sighed and gave up on the facade that she had out up and looked at her old friend with a sad smile.

    "Shitty, I've been live your life of seclusion and I live my life of illusion and deceit...Every morning I trick myself into believing my own lies, I'm drugs today...I wake up and try to be like the people of our world that are considered normal" she chuckled darkly and pushed her Hair out of her face with a small sigh. "Sorry...I mean, no I'm fine...met the love of my life today he's six foot two and a doctor, maybe he'll ask me out next time I go back to his office...My grandmother is fine one door in the grave and one foot on air, but she's lived a good life"

    Ophelia always hated talking about emotions, which is probably why she never got along with therapists. But she had never seen kindness and figured out that was how the world was so who would care about how she felt. If we're to drop dead today who would actually go to her funeral, what would that say about her. Looking up at Minerva she chuckled softly and gave her iconic fake smile, "How about we get that ice cream now"
  17. The sudden segue between topics was jarring, far too gauche for Minerva to simply ignore and play along. She paused, fingers worrying the cuffs of her hoodie. She preferred to keep out of the business of others, too troublesome. People didn't want replies or help or even advice, and listening never seemed to be enough. Minerva didn't know how to respond. She was certain that ice cream wasn't the answer though.

    "Ophelia," she addressed softly. "I think we can skip ice cream." the words came quietly from her, uncertain but determined. Minerva was tired of dissimulation and games of circumlocution. She was almost twenty-five, the cut off point, the time when reality would come crushing in, no longer held at bay like a monster fearful of daylight. There wasn't time for formalities. On a basic, visceral level Minerva knew Ophelia was in a situation similar to her own.

    "I have a bottle of gin in my car." she said. "It's not high-shelf or anything, but it gets me by. You wanna find a shady spot and share a drink instead?" Despite always drinking alone, and being a more philosophical drunk, Minerva felt the best way to spend time with other was pleasantly inebriated. It worked better than her medication anyways. "I'm not keen on seeing the night sober."
  18. "You sound like a god to me right now...I really didn't want ice cream anyways, I mean I am a grown up now last time I checked I think I could drink legally." She chuckled and looked over at the other leaning on the roof of the car. "We could stay at my's right around the corner I mean I still live with grandma but if we have hot and wild sex I could just turn up some music" Ophelia teased as she gave her a wink and closed the door that she had opened up. "In fact let's house isn't far and I'm pretty sure no one would want to steal this...collectors item, just leave it here and we'll get it in the morning, I don't want you thinking you can drive home drunk"

    She walked over to Minerva and nodded her head to the other direction so that they could start walking. If they were just going to go to her place and get drunk then there would be no reason to waste gas since it wasn't that far from where they were. "I actually think your helping me, it's healthier to be drunk than high right...well they both aren't bad things but alcohol is better than drugs in a way, and plus it gets you laid" she chuckled softly at her own little joke as she began to walk waiting for Minerva to catch up.

    It had been a beautiful night to walk so what could be the harm. Ophelia stuffed her hands in her pockets and slowed down waiting for the other to catch up. "Come on slow poke, let's get drunk! What's the point of being sober when their are so many different alcohols in the world, get that gin and we can have our own little party" she shouted back turning to her heels so that now she was walking backwards.
  19. Though she knew Ophelia was jesting about sex, Minerva couldn't feel one way or another about it actually happening. Maybe alcohol would sway her indifference, but desire was a fickle emotion in her even when inebriated. She wasn't reluctant to slip out of public view though. "I guess it depends on the kind of high you're talking about, but if my guts can vouch for anything it's that alcohol isn't the kindest panacea for reality." Frequent dehydration, sensitive stomach acidity, ulcers, Minerva considered it a miracle she hadn't experienced something worse like hepatitis or cirrhosis.

    Grasping the neck of the gin bottle, and slamming the driver's side door shut, Minerva jog-walked to catch up with her old friend. "I can't remember alcohol ever getting anyone laid." she called in approach. "Most people pass out! It's just sloppy forking, though," Minerva gave it a bit of thought as she slowed to a casual pace. "I suppose that isn't as bad as the situations some people get themselves into." she admitted before gesturing with the gin. "I hope you have a kind of juice to mix this with. It tastes like paint thinner."
  20. "We've got a lot of juice at grandmother feels that everything gives people cancer...especially soda" Ophelia sighed as she thought about the whole thiry minute argument she had with her grandmother over the topic. It consisted of stastics that she found on her part of the number of people who get cancer by drinking soda which was zero to none. And her just screaming that she was egg and soda gave cancer and she wasn't dying until she was ready. So long story short, soda wasn't allowed in the house and she was going to dive back into that argument. "She might remember you though, her memory is bad these days but you haven't changed oh so much, not that you look just look like a taller high school Minerva, though you've always been taller than me so in my perspective you haven't changed that much"

    Ophelia looked over at the other with a smirk and leaned over bumping their arms playfully. "So come on spill is there anyone special in your life, I mean I know you don't converse with the world but their has to be someone I mean that threapy session wasn't the best but some of the guys were okay could even bond over your issues, my hamster died with I was five cause I killed it, oh well my dad used to stab himself for this would be an amazing romantic comedy" she chuckled at her own joke something she tended to do and figured that she would ease up a bit since she didn't want to scare her off so easily. "So is there anyone that strikes your fancy?"
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