The Only Thing Twitter is Good For

T

Tegan

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I've been scrolling this for HOURS now. And I assure you, there was a lot of stuff I was supposed to do today.

https://twitter.com/fanfiction_txt

Here are some of my faves...

Goku was driving his pick up truck blasting Creed

"Sorry john but today is your last day alive because I am going to shoot you with this gun I have in my hands" the terorrist sayed.

'Dude these are some kickass seats dude" yelled goku over the shitty opening band. "ya dude, I am trippin balls" Vegeta hollered.

Obama chuckled. "You mean the Chaos Emeralds?"

Both David Letterman and the studio audience were shocked at what Hatsune Miku was saying.

"Well, at least I don't eat with Slytherin Hats! I hate Slytherins!" Ronald began to cry into his oatmeal.

It was a good thing Hagrid had got here in time. Five years down the road, Harry might have been a fornicating, drug-addicted Evolutionist!

"We are too smart for that. Haven't you read Dawkins? God is dead! Dawkins proved that. Would you like us to educate you on the Dawkins?"

guests in the front row...Alvin & The Chipmunks!" Alvin smiled in total happiness, and so did Simon and Theodore. Vince Neil grinned at them

damn you ice goku, and fire goku, and earth goku, and wind goku, and shadow goku, and holy goku, and little goku, and big goku, and goku

I gave Naruto and Hinata tickets to Michael Jackson's Bad Tour concert at Wembley Stadium on July 16th 1988.

The hamburglar went up to his quarters to go pack his shit (a spare knife, a few vibrators, some bacardi, half a bottle of vodka,

"KAKASHI IM REAL HAPPY FOR YOU AND IMMA LET YOU FINISH!" "Get outta here Kanye!" screamed Naruto.
 
Okay, you've won. You won the internet. <3
 
GET OUT OF HERE KANYE!
 
Nobody is gonna question Hamburglers plans?
 
I read that twice and it totally improved my mood. Fuckin' hilarious.

Twitter is also good for the Celebrities Read Mean Tweets thing that Jimmy Kemmel's show does.
 
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Ahhh Twiteris.

Flicking the bean of the internet with a simple mouse scroll.
 
I've been scrolling this for HOURS now. And I assure you, there was a lot of stuff I was supposed to do today.
Here are some of my faves...
Goku was driving his pick up truck blasting Creed
"Sorry john but today is your last day alive because I am going to shoot you with this gun I have in my hands" the terorrist sayed.
'Dude these are some kickass seats dude" yelled goku over the shitty opening band. "ya dude, I am trippin balls" Vegeta hollered.
Obama chuckled. "You mean the Chaos Emeralds?"
Both David Letterman and the studio audience were shocked at what Hatsune Miku was saying.
"Well, at least I don't eat with Slytherin Hats! I hate Slytherins!" Ronald began to cry into his oatmeal.
It was a good thing Hagrid had got here in time. Five years down the road, Harry might have been a fornicating, drug-addicted Evolutionist!
"We are too smart for that. Haven't you read Dawkins? God is dead! Dawkins proved that. Would you like us to educate you on the Dawkins?"
guests in the front row...Alvin & The Chipmunks!" Alvin smiled in total happiness, and so did Simon and Theodore. Vince Neil grinned at them
damn you ice goku, and fire goku, and earth goku, and wind goku, and shadow goku, and holy goku, and little goku, and big goku, and goku
I gave Naruto and Hinata tickets to Michael Jackson's Bad Tour concert at Wembley Stadium on July 16th 1988.
The hamburglar went up to his quarters to go pack his shit (a spare knife, a few vibrators, some bacardi, half a bottle of vodka,
"KAKASHI IM REAL HAPPY FOR YOU AND IMMA LET YOU FINISH!" "Get outta here Kanye!" screamed Naruto.
Wow. That is literally the best fanfic ever XD
 
I don't even.
 
damn you ice goku, and fire goku, and earth goku, and wind goku, and shadow goku, and holy goku, and little goku, and big goku, and goku
I hope you're happy Tegan. You killed me. KILLED ME
 
GET OUT OF HERE KANYE!
Can that be a thing now? Can we make that a thing that we say in other threads?

The people who read this thread will get it. They'll be like "yeeeah, I see what you did there."
 
Pikachu decides to try and drive a truck. It backfires on him immensly.
 
"FUCK THE DARKNESS AND FUCK YOU, YOU STUPID CUNT!" "Goofy, stop being so angry that no way to..." Sora began.
 
Donkey's mistake had killed everyone.

:(
 
I pumped my semen into her like how I would pump class consciousness into the fucking proletariat.
 
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Me: Shut the hell up, you snitch.
Kermit the frog: ...
Me:Oh, so you quiet now? But that's none of my business
 
"Sorry john but today is your last day alive because I am going to shoot you with this gun I have in my hands" the terorrist sayed.

And I just spat coffee all over the staff room.
 
I feel like I should have known that this was a thing. I laughed way too hard at these.

Hilariousness aside, this guy's pretty good with the Twitter machine too.

http://twitterthecomic.tumblr.com
 
oh, god... I love that Twitter. There are other ones as well like e_hentai_txt that lists amusing comments left on doujinshi but that one is much more explicit.
 
She inserted her pussy into Finn's cock and moaned. "Oh my glob!" Finn shouted.


... What. The. Fuck. Tegan, what have you done?