The Neighbor Kid

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Locke Cole

Original poster
I posted this one after browsing through quickly at the other games, so I'm again not sure if there's already one here, but it's a simple concept. Pretty much, imagine an irritating kid keeps asking you simple questions, so you get so irritated you decide to make up the answers. That's the premise.

So the way it goes, is you explain the person's question above, then ask your own simple question. Such as "Why is the ocean blue, but my bath water is clear?"

You could then answer "Because kids like crayons so much, that they decided to try and market the ocean by melting down blue, the most popular color, and dumping it in the ocean. That way, that nice pretty crayon blue would attract the children to play there, rather than taking a bath."

Hope that makes sense. If not, oh well ... I shall begin!

If English is the main language in America, why do we speak so much Spanish?
No habla American.

Why is it Summer in New Zealand when it's Winter in Germany?
Because New Zealand's fucked up like that.

Why is Tricky the Clown so fucked up?
Because Tricky, as it says in the name, performs "tricks" on the street that we grown ups like to call "Sexual favors." And these favors, so to speak, get him a lot of mind altering substances that he puts into his system and makes him all funny looking. Some of the side effects can include large, red, bulbous noses and enormous feet.

Why do authors like Stephenie Meyer get so popular when great novels go unnoticed?
Because stupid people read stupid shit.

Why is the sky blue>?
Because it's so big and everyone sees it every day, so it should be a color that everyone likes, and everyone likes blue.

Why did the chicken cross the road?
Thats not a chicken, its a rooster.

Why are you so mean to me>?
because if I'm mean then there can be angry! yeah!

How are babies born? D:
When a man and a woman love each other very much, they write a letter to the International Baby Service at the North Pole. A few months pass, during which the International Baby Service occasionally provides grainy black-and-white pictures of the specimen in its gestation chamber. Finally, in the middle of the night, a flying uterus-bird bursts through the house window and drops the baby in its crib, together with a bloody pile of placenta and umbilical cords. Then some nurses whack the baby on its back, so that his or her first experience in life is to learn that life is nothing but pain.

Why does chocolate taste so good?
Because when chocolate is actually made of magic, and when the magic touches your tongue, it makes your tongue happy, which makes the chocolate taste good. :D

Why do dogs bark?
They actually speak in their own language that only you can't understand.

Where do people go when they die>?
Well, there is a rather grouchy looking team of men in suits who are constantly roving about morgues and battle zones to locate dead bodies. When they find them, they take them rather abruptly by their ghostly little hands and drag them down to the hotel somewhere below our feet but above the Orient (kudos to who gets that joke). From there, they are trapped in this hotel room with three other people for the rest of eternity.

Why do the leaves change colors in fall?
Well, since you asked. Little men that live under ground in a land called 'Autunium' come out every year. They carry little magic brushes. They take these brushes and paint the leaves all sorts of different colors. When they are done they go back to their 'little man homes' and practice playing wheel of Fortune in the hopes of one day becoming contestants on the show, because everyone knows that all the little men want to meet Vanna White (and some of them want to meet pat Sajack). After they get on the show their dreams will be fulfilled and there will be no more fall season.

Why don't people live on the moon>?
Too cheesy.

Where do people go when they die?
Question repeater :P
Since you didn't believe me the first time....
It's really a tugboat pulled by a pair of the most fearsome purple princess ponies you've ever seen that picks up the spirit of the dead person, initially. From there, they dive into the Dead Sea (duh, that's why it's the Dead Sea). The spirits of the dead are then forced to harvest pearls from a secret underground farm of oysters to make a huge profit for Jeremy Shepherd (look him up :P).

Why do dogs chase cats?
Go ask your mother. (ITS A VALID ANSWER.)

Why do ladies on the beach walk around with boobies showing O___O
To attract hungry babies.

Why are sunny days considered 'nice days'>?
Sunshine triggers the release of a certain chemical in people called "Notadouche", which is released on days of inclement weather but only the highly sensitive people, aptly called due to their association with this chemical, "Notdouches" receive enough on these days to make a difference. What this chemical does is it makes people believe that they are successful, attractive even when wearing spandex biking shorts or swimsuits much too small, and give them a false sense of security. People who have had sufficient ego stroking tend to be nicer to others on these days, while some highly resistant to the chemical ("Douches") should have clinical testing involving frying them under a sun lamp to see if it improves their attitude.

Why is February the shortest month of the year?
Because like most romances, it ends early. >:D

Why do cats always come in to the bathroom with you when you're going to potty?
Cause they are trying to learn how to use the toilet.

Why do dogs hump peoples legs>?