The M-word and dating..

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CherrieCafe

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So to start off, my dating life sucks because I am a cosplay model and a gamer/nerd. The reason why it sucks is that I meet really cute gamers (mostly guys, I swing all ways) that seem to like my personality online. Like over Facebook, but then we meet in person and my boobs take over the situation.. With me being just over 5' it's obvious that my boobs are the grip of attention.. THEN when it is brought up that the photos on facebook are model like and I confirm I do model these guys ask for naughty shoots which is not my niche... They get pouty and the date is ruined.... WHY DO GUYS HAVE TO BE SO UGH!!! I'm a cosplayer because it makes me happy but I want a guy that doesn't pressure me for things I'm not comfy with...
 
>.< Well, I suppose it may be difficult to find someone who well... Is more lenient with these things, but at the same time have qualities that well, one would find appealing. Er, to be more accurate, what I'm saying is that I doubt it will be easy to find someone compatable, and well, each person has their own way to go about it. However, even so, I suppose the real deal breaker is determining if the good vs bad qualities of well, whoever you end up in a relationship balance out I guess. (So, basically if you're able to handle the worst of them as well as the best of them).

Egh, I can't say I'm a dating expert, so this is really mostly from what I've learned but uh... Don't give up o.o I'm sure the right match will come along sooner or later. Just, know the signs I suppose, to avoid having history repeat itself too much.
 
york said:
>.< Well, I suppose it may be difficult to find someone who well... Is more lenient with these things, but at the same time have qualities that well, one would find appealing. Er, to be more accurate, what I'm saying is that I doubt it will be easy to find someone compatable, and well, each person has their own way to go about it. However, even so, I suppose the real deal breaker is determining if the good vs bad qualities of well, whoever you end up in a relationship balance out I guess. (So, basically if you're able to handle the worst of them as well as the best of them).

Egh, I can't say I'm a dating expert, so this is really mostly from what I've learned but uh... Don't give up o.o I'm sure the right match will come along sooner or later. Just, know the signs I suppose, to avoid having history repeat itself too much.
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I've dated different guys and most if not all of them wanted to bang the first date and I'm finding it's harder to find hope.
 
KuroCallista said:
I've dated different guys and most if not all of them wanted to bang the first date and I'm finding it's harder to find hope.
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Ooogh, quick to the trigger... Yeah, I suppose you may wanna start either looking elsewhere, or maybe making more... Selective decisions? >.< I suppose what I'm saying is I'm sure you'll find the right one, but well, it may be best to expand your options if well, what you currently have is not really working out for one reason or another.
 
Only thing you can do is keeping looking, lots of guys are pretty shallow
 
try dating outside your age demographic?

a few men who've been on the dating scene a while and have experience with women of various body types ultimately mellow out and stop caring so much about your tits
 
Have to go with Razilin here, or maybe try to look for someone else who goes through the same shit you do. Be it a guy who gets used by women. Tough to say though, sometimes people just in general really suck. Hope you have better luck though.
 
I would also seriously suggest not finding dates off of the internet
 
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Razilin said:
that's a thing still?
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Well since the OP mentioned meeting some of these guys online, after some thought I was like that's probably part of your problem...
 
I'd recommend being a bit more selective, and perhaps getting to know people a bit more before deciding you want to go out with them. It seems "quantity" is not an issue but "quality" is so my recommendation steers you towards the quality.
 
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Poe Dameron said:
I'd recommend being a bit more selective, and perhaps getting to know people a bit more before deciding you want to go out with them. It seems "quantity" is not an issue but "quality" is so my recommendation steers you towards the quality.
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wisdom from Asia's greatest cad

listen to this one

he knows his shit

he's dated like half of asia

the female half that is
 
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Poe Dameron said:
I'd recommend being a bit more selective, and perhaps getting to know people a bit more before deciding you want to go out with them. It seems "quantity" is not an issue but "quality" is so my recommendation steers you towards the quality.
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So much this.

It sounds like you're not really giving it your all into finding a good guy, or perhaps you're thinking with, uh, other things that aren't your brain. Engage a bit deeper, allow more time to be had for conversation on your phone or FB or whatever you use to talk to these guys. Wait to see how long it takes them to talk about certain things, like sex or your body. If sex is one of the earliest things they bring up, likely that's all they want. That's not a rule of thumb, but generally (and at your age), it's a good one to follow.

Also, someone said to look at an older age demographic. You're pretty young, but it might not be a bad idea to holler at fellers around the mid-20's, or guys who genuinely have their shit together.

*inserts .02*
 
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@KuroCallista As a horny, geeky young male, I would echo what the above say about being selective but also: Make sure the boundary is Solid. Tell them in advance that there shall be no first date sex. I know I would at least respect that and still try to get to know you better and let my inner romantic loose. though it would likely be sappy. but yeah be selective and make sure they know well in advance, no first date sex.
 
I'd have to go with the quality over quaintly type deal here. I've seen a number of failed relationships because conflict of interest. He wants to hit and she wants something real that goes deeper than that. It's nothing that hasn't been said before @KuroCallista feel the guy out first. Can't gauge something if you don't know a guy honestly. Then see if you wanna take it to the next level to avoid setting yourself up for a let down. Got a number of good guys out there. Just gotta sort through the bad ones unfortunately first. I'm sure someone will take you at full value never settle for less.
 
To answer a few things, I live in a small town like the city hall says it's a city but the "city" part of it is nowhere near downtown. So everyone knows each other (sadly). I do have very strict rules on who I date because being 20 I don't want to date younger. I'm not interested in high school teen boys. So I do limit my age group to older guys but since I had a past boyfriend end up being a psychopath, my parents are super paranoid. Like I'm 20 and I am expected to know what time I'm going to be home. ( I'm also the youngest with one other sibling.)

In order to break into a more optimistic dating pool, it would have to be long distance or someone that isn't from my town (and gets an interrogation from my folks) . Which is rare because my town has a rep for being a place to retire. All in all, I'm attempting to be positive but with the odds being stacked up against me. It's hard and I'm lonely.
 
Living in a small town can be a hit or a BIG miss. That was the case for me. Your goal can't be to find someone as quickly as possible because that will lead to shitty dates and rushed relationships so you can be 'in' a relationship. Dating takes a lot of time and communication. I myself met my boyfriend of almost five years online. So online dating does work, the key to the long distance is being able to meet up regularly (so not too far) talk everyday. So you can bound in a deeper way then basic questions. It helps you get to know their character. But also remember not all online/long distance relationships last. Most actually done.It's hard, frustrating and trying. Communication is key. So if you are to start looking outside of your small city, those would be my tips.
 
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Insanity makes a great point about not being so quick to rush into things. Be okay with taking things super slow and hell, super long-distance if you gotta. In this day and age of online dating and long-distance relationships being practically more-so the norm than workplace dating, you have no social reason to not try it out. Physically, you can find satisfaction easily, but if you want something fulfilling and will make your life happy?

Well, slow and steady wins the race, as they say.
 
I think you are dealing with people that because of the lack of interpersonal-ness™ of their hobbies lack those skills.

Then again human beings don't usually come with manuals.
 
Baracaniguara said:
I think you are dealing with people that because of the lack of interpersonal-ness™ of their hobbies lack those skills.

Then again human beings don't usually come with manuals.
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Alas they don't. would make my life a hell of a lot easier if I knew what I was when I was interacting with people.
 
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