The Lonely Playground (Supernatural)

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Karakui

The Slightly Villainous One
Original poster
FOLKLORE MEMBER
Invitation Status
Posting Speed
  1. 1-3 posts per day
Writing Levels
  1. Intermediate
  2. Adept
Preferred Character Gender
  1. Female
Genres
Fantasy, Modern Fantasy
Legends tell of an island, far to the East of 'the world'. Satellite images from ages long past show this island, a long, thin volcanic arc covered in cities. Of course, back when those photos were taken, every country resembled that. Now, though, there is only dust. Several days ago, contact was restored with the last remaining satellite. A single, high resolution photo was taken, and sent to the only functioning computer in the west. It was the first time a map would ever be made of the Deadlands (officially known as the Irradiated Zone). The entirety of continental Asia and Africa was barren, as was Oceania and the majority of South and Mid America. Unusually, though, the little island in the East was completely fine. In fact, it was perfect. It was flooded with greenery, huge cities were still standing and even had an abundance of electricity. It did lack one thing though - people. Even at maximum zoom, precise enough to pick out individual humans, only one figure existed. It was standing on a roof, seemingly hanging up washing to dry.

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This is the tale of the People in the East. Decades ago, the world as we know it was obliterated by a catastrophic fission bomb that detonated in China, literally turning the continent into dust. Smaller weapons, activated automatically, inflicted similar events upon the third and second world. North America and most of Europe now live underground, able to stand only a few minutes on the surface before seeing adverse effects. Japan, though, is seemingly unaffected by the event, in terms of nature and infrastructure. However, it completely lacks inhabitants; besides of course, the main characters of this RP. They are a group of 5-8 people alone in an empty world they know ironically as "The Playground". There is a catch though - "Phantoms". The shadows in this world are lethal. Which shadows are Phantoms can be identified easily - they go backwards. If you stand facing the light source, your shadow will still stretch infront of you. There's no 100% effective way known to combat them, and if you step in a Phantom, it will tag itself onto you. Once you're tagged, you're living on a timer, never knowing when you may expire. When your time is up, you disappear, without any trace. So many people have gone now that the remaining 5-8 have stopped keeping count.

The plot will revolve around both the daily life of these people in an empty, murderous world, as well as their investigation into what the Phantoms are and why Japan was unaffected by the nuclear bombs. None of the characters have memories older than 3 years ago, and as the RP progresses they will develop very minor special abilities to aid in the investigation process. We're talking things like being able to touch locks to open them.

If you've seen Silence in the Library, you'll know the kind of atmosphere I'm going for here - a completely empty world that's still trying to kill you. Don't worry, this has an original plot so it'll still be fun.

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I'd say no godmodding etc, but this isn't a combat-based RP, so it's not really possible to go OP. So, the only rules are: Don't control people's characters without permission; and: Don't use meta information in the RP, unless the character would realistically know it.

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Rough template CS: Feel free to add sections, should you feel it necessary. Remember with the backstory that they only remember 3 years ago, so describe only up to that point. Feel free to come up with other backstory for the character too, but that'll come naturally into the IC. Additionally, remember that there was a war going on, so unless they're quite old, it's unlikely they'll have moved from another country in their own generation (their ancestors can be foreign, though).

(Picture here)
Name: (They'll have taken a new name, since they won't remember their old one)
Age bracket: (eg 15-20, 30-40. Obviously, amnesiacs won't know for sure.)
Personality: (Include likes/dislikes etc, as well)
Talents: (What can they do well?)
Flaws: (What are they hopeless at?)
Potential abilities: (Choose two or three, so you don't get stuck with the same ability and you can change which one you want them to have at any time before they actually get it :P)
Backstory: (optional)
 
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Name: Haine

Age Bracket: 17-21 years

Personality: A very calm and collected boy, often doing tasks with an uninterested air. It's not as if he doesn't care, he's just often confused as to what he's supposed to react or interact with. Often questions himself when doing tasks, and will ask others what they think about any decision before he makes one himself. Oddly enough, despite his constant self-questioning nature, he found within his first few months living here that he enjoys drawing thing, be it with a stick in the ground, or any medium that he can get his hands on.Haine can also create very helpful little tools with what seems to be basic items, or even weird ones. Along with that, he seems to dislike being left alone, as it makes it nearly impossible for him to decide anything without someone questioning him or telling him that what he decides is okay.

Talents: Analytical, Tinkering-able to create useful tools out of little materials, Running, Hiding

Flaws: Bad at anything requiring extensive physical prowess , unclear conscious,

Potential Abilities: pheromone manipulation-ability to influence the emotions of a limited number of people near him, illusionary ability-can cause slight hallucinatory disturbance in weak-minded people, reactive evolution- ability to semi-adapt to surrounding environmental stress i.e. warm in the cold, breathe toxic air for longer amounts of time than normal.

Backstory: After the event that change the world, Haine was left alone around the age of 14-17 years old, with no direction and no way of regaining his memory, left alone for the three years before the story, without guidance it was as if he hadn't aged at all and was still new to the world. Before meeting up with other people, he often created random little "friends" out of the junk he found around him to stay by him and make sure that the choices he made were correct. For the longest amount of time, he teetered on the edge of insanity, with only the made up twig man for a friend, trying in vain to gather up memories that he'd lost.
 
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Oh, by talents and flaws I was meaning actual physical things. For example, my character might be good at running or making paper aeroplanes, but be really bad at playing musical instruments or something. Also, would you mind expanding on each ability a little bit? Which pheromones can he manipulate, what are the limits of his illusions, etc. Or rather, what would the uses and limits be once he actually gained the power.
 
I might need some specific things to put on the CS, so we can all be guided before I'll start to make my CS. At any rate, I can wait, but for now, I'd rather have specific and exact guidelines so we can all be on the same page.
 
What do you mean by "specific and exact guidelines"? Like, adding a "likes" and "dislikes" section or something?
 
@Karakui

I managed to change it up a bit, please tell me if that's better or if there's still any inconsistencies.
 
All looks good now, but I was still meaning actual talents. You've only said what his thinking style is like. I'm meaning things like is he good at picking locks, or knows how to break a window in a single punch? This is important because what obstacles the group will face will depend on these.
 
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(human Form)

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(Hunter Form)

Hunter Name: Heat Trap
Human Name: Alex Ryan
Age Bracket: 18-22

Personality: Kindly, Timid, And over all a nice person. A guy who dose what he can to keep his anger in check, other wise bad things will happen. Not exactly shy, but not super social either he tends to only get involved with most situations if needed or if he feels like it. Alex cares about other people and tries his hardest to get along with everyone the best he can, once again trying to avoid a fight if he can... lest his more dangerous half causes an uproar. Alex is a smart guy, thinking about his actions before he carries them out, even if it means risking a transformation.

Heat Trap is a horrifying monster with no fears what so ever, If anything dares to stand against his way there is no doubt that he will break them in half. He too is a clever entity, but unlike his human half he tends to dive into the fray first before asking questions. Heat Trap does not care about anything but two things.... "Who am I fighting?" and "How should I Kick their @$$?". As an brute he has the tendency of bringing innocent lives into the mix be it intentional or by accident, Allies be warned.

(Note: I know this isn't a combat RP, let's just say Alex drew the shortest straw)

Talents:

Alex is a wonderful cook, a great escape artist, and has an uncanny sense of direction.

Heat Trap is skilled demolish-ins expert, has unrivaled combat expertise, and has Pyrokinetic capabilities (usually uses this to make fire balls to light up dark areas and detect phantoms, but it CAN be a weapon)

Flaws:

Alex has no control over his Hunter From; if he gets too anger he WILL transform, he is awkward around girls... Particularly those around his age, And his human form is not all that strong.

Heat Trap is a Rouge, not listening to anyone but his own instincts. He Seldom speaks in any human language, making him seem even more ferocious. Heat trap fights to kill, not subdue.

Potential Skills: (Alex only, Heat Trap already has enough cool stuff) Mentality analysis- Alex could have the ability to tell weather or not people are lying. True Disable- Alex may have the ability to temporarily disable the powers of others. Teleport- this one is obvious, Alex might be able to teleport him self or others.

Backstory: Alex Remembers nothing at all about his past, nor dose his other form Heat Trap. Little do they know that Alex was augmented in a lab of a weapons company to be used as a super-weapon in the war, which is how Heat Trap came to be a part of him. How ever the company ell to ruin when the Bomb went off and destroyed every one but himself, So now he wander's the world searching for answers. The only things he could even consider clues are a symbol of an eye branded onto his left shoulder, a Locket with a picture of a beautiful woman, and a note that reads "Never Forget, 8/08/94". Alex along with his alter ego Heat Trap have had no one but each other to keep them company , until they found the playground of course. Now they and 4-7 others search together to solve a mystery they don't even know what it is, only time will tell what answers they will find.
 
Sorry, but I'm definitely not accepting this character, on several grounds. I do like the character, and in other RPs I would likely accept it, but it's not right for this RP because I'm aiming for a very calm setting, and I'm sure you can see how having a fire breathing lizard man would be a detriment to that. I want to build up the tension slowly and subtly, and giant lizard dude is more the kind of 'tension explosion' type. Please see this response as advice, rather than criticism. I don't want to offend you, my objective here is to explain, calmly, why the character won't be accepted, and to try and help you to improve the character and others like it.

So, here are the grounds on which the character won't work in the setting:
1. Besides the 'no one existing' and the 'people disappearing in shadows', this is a realistic setting and thus genetically modified bio-weapons do not exist.
2. Heat Trap is the kind of character that draws attention - these only work in a world where every character draws attention. Since this RP focuses entirely on the storyline, anything that draws attention away from that risks derailing the RP.
3. (regarding backstory) Everyone currently in The Playground has been there from the beginning. No one comes into or out of it, so he wouldn't just 'find' it. Additionally, thanks to the backstory of the character, the Phantoms would have removed him very early on; they don't like soldiers. He would have zero chance of surviving for 3 years.

Grounds on which the character won't work in the eyes of fairness:
1. The character essentially has 3 - 5 abilities, while every other character only has one.
2. As mentioned above, it's an attention drawing character, and it's unfair to have these characters unless it's a setting that facilitates that.

Personal Preferences which mean the character won't be accepted:
1. A timid but intelligent man who turns into a monster when angry is essentially The Incredible Hulk. The resemblance increases when you factor in the flawed pseudo-science explanation. Since I dislike Marvel and superheros in general, I would never accept a character to any of my RPs that was so similar to a superhero (exception in the case of an RP deliberately parodying superheros)
2. The ability to inherently and uncreatively nullify other abilities, regardless of timespan, is an ability I will never accept on a player character.
3. Inherent magical ability to detect lies is a form of telepathy, and I do not accept telepathy of any kind in my RPs unless there is a way to countermand it. This requires that the player using the telepathy also accepts that 90-95% of all characters and 100% of significant characters will be able to resist it.
4. Your attempt to rectify the Heat Trap situation using "It's OK, he drew the shortest straw because it's not useful in the setting" is uncreative. I don't mind people validating characters that otherwise don't fit into my original plan, but they need to do so in a way that's creative enough to convince me that it will work. This, however, feels like a footnote; a sort of "it'll work out, somehow". When I read a character profile that doesn't fit with my setting, and then I see something like "Note: I know this isn't a combat RP but he drew the short straw", it just feels offensive. Since I put a lot of work into creating my settings and plotlines, when someone comes along and says "I know you did X, and I know you want X, but I want Y, so let's go with Y", that's quite rude. It feels like you acknowledge the work I put in, but at the same time, it feels like the most important thing to you is that you can showcase your character idea. It feels like you built your house then looked for somewhere to put it, even if it displaced the buildings nearby, instead of finding a plot of land and then designing a house that fits within that plot. Now, like I said, I'm OK with characters that don't fit with my original idea, but only if their creators can convince me that it's possible to smoothly integrate the character into my setting without disrupting what's already there; for example, if I make an RP about serfs, I don't expect someone to play a princess. If they come in and just say "i'm gonna play a princess", then i will deny them, but if they come in and say "I'd like to play a princess, this is how I'm going to do it, this is how it fits into the setting (Maybe she's a refugee princess from another country and is disguised as a serf?), would that be OK?", I'm much more likely to accept it.
 
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