The Little Grey Mouse (k-michelle412/Twrdgirl)

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Ryan feel onto his back on the couch and gave another soft moan. As Zachary moved to kiss his neck and run his hands over his body he realized how fast thing were going. As things escalated with no sign of him slowing down he realized he needed to stop things. He gentle pushed Zachary back and gave a apologetic smile. "I'm sorry, but I think we need to stop before things get too far." He hesitated before he continued speaking "I think we should discuss what we both want before we move too fast. I don't want us starting something if we want different things."
 
Zachary reluctantly pulled away from Ryan's neck. His heart was racing and he was pretty sure his face was flushed. He nodded slowly. "Yeah...Yeah that sounds good. I can do that." He sounded distracted as his eyes traced over Ryan. Well...hopefully... He gave the other boy a final, soft kiss. Zachary pulled away and smiled. He grabbed Ryan's hand to help him up, his smile still in place. I think I just figured out what those glances were for. And Zachary was okay with that.

Glancing at Ryan he decided to let him know what was going on in his mind. "Well, I'm not gay." Zachary let out a strange, awkward laugh. "I'm uh, well, I'm bi. But, I haven't...you know...been with a guy since sophmore year. Uh, didn't really go well..." Zachary said the last sentence quieter. Memories of that time flashed foreward but he shook them off. Ryan wasn't like that. "So..I, uh....sorry bout tha-....oops." Zachary stopped mid-sentence noticing his "work" that was displayed on Ryan's neck. "Uh. man, I'm so sorry. I didn't mean to leave a mark, shit." Zachary hand't been thinking of that when he was biting the other boy's neck.
 
Ryan smiled at the last kiss, but his heart sank when Zachary said he wasn't gay. A sense of relief flooded him when he admitted he was bi. "It's fine if you need to take things slow" Ryan said softly. "I've never been with anyone so I'm not looking to dive into the deep end either. If you want we could start off slow. Meeting for the project and hanging out afterwards. That way we could slowly get to know each other. I....I've had a crush on you for a while and I'd like it if we could get whatever's going on between us a try."

He frowned when Zachary abruptly change of subject and his eyes widened. He slapped a hand over where Zachary had been kissing him. He blushed bright red, but slowly relaxed and let out a small chuckle. "It's fine it's cold enough that I can wear a scarf for a while. Plus I've got a few sweaters that will keep it covered. He placed a hand on Zachary's shoulder "don't worry I'm not mad."
 
Zachary smiled relieved. "Good." He wrapped his arm around Ryan's shoulders. He pulled him snuggly against him, resting his cheek on top of the others head. He could take it slow. This was nice. Just hanging out. Yeah he could do that.

The movie ended shortly afterwords, they had missed most of it when they started kissing. But, Zachary didn't really want Ryan to leave just yet. "Uh, do you..do you wanna go get dinner some..where?" Zachary asked nervously. Even when he had dated he was horrible at asking people out on dates. Did this even count as a date? He really hoped it did. He rubbed the back of his neck, looking around. Yeah, he was incredibly nervous.
 
Ryan didn't really pay attention to the rest of the movie. He was just so happy that his feelings were returned. He smiled when Zachary nervously asked if he wanted to get dinner. It was cute and made Ryan feel more relaxed. He nodded "sure do you like Chinese? I know this really good restaurant not far from here." He grabbed Zachary's hand and smiled "I don't think you need to be nervous. I think this is something we both want and we should go for it."
 
Zachary chuckled when Ryan told him not to be nervous. "That's easier said than done RyRy. But yeah...I think...I think you're right." Zachary grabbed his jacket, slipping on his shoes. "Im paying." He stated leaving no room for argument as he grabbed his keys. After a moments hesitation, Zach grabbed Ryan's hand in his and headed out the door. His stomach was in knots with nerves. None of his friends knew he was bi, it just never came up. Guess this is as good a time as any.. He reasoned in his mind. Despite that he was still nervous that he would lose them. Glancing at the smaller boy Zach found that he didn't really care. If he could get over a trivial thing like that in highschool he could definitely do it now.
 
Ryan wanted to say he could pay, but decied against it. He fallowed Zachary outside and smiled when he held his hand. He looked around, but didn't see anyone he recognized. "Zachary I...I need to tell you that I don't mind holding hand, but we have to be careful in public. If anyone who I know saw they might tell my parents. They would flip and....well I'm pretty sure I'd be on the streets. I have plans to tell Leo and if things go well maybe he can help me financially. At least with school."
 
Zachary paused in the hallway. He glanced around before pulling Ryan into a tight embrace. He released him after a few seconds. He held Ryan at arms length and looked deep into the others eyes. "If they ever put you out or ever do anything to make you unhappy, you can come stay here with me. I mean it." Zachary kept eye contact for a bit longer before looking off.

Even if Ryan wasn't interested in him, even if Zachary wasn't bi, he still would have made that offer. No one needed to be afraid of being happy. And thats what this was. By not being true to oneself means you're depriving yourself of happiness, Zachary wouldn't let Ryan do that. Or anyone else for that matter.

Zachary took Ryan's hand in his once again, loose so, if by any chance he saw someone, he could easily slip out. Zachary felt a little shy by his strong words, but that didn't detract from his sincerity.
 
Ryan was surprised by the hug, but relaxed into it. He smiled when Zachary said he could stay with him if the need arose. He hugged Zachary quickly before letting go. "Thank you" he said softly smiling at him. "It's good to know I have another person to lean on. I love Leo he's like an older brother, but sometimes it's not enough." As they continued to walk to the restaurant Ryan asked: "so do your parents know you're bi?"
 
"Yeah. Uh, actually, the way they found out was um, not so great." Zachary rubbed the back of his neck with his free hand. He blushed lightly thinking back to that day. "They, uh, walking in on me and, uh, my boyfriend. They uh, weren't exactly happy when they found out. They, uh, They actually sort of ignored it, and if you knew my parents it was for the best." He chuckled lightly, completely over the whole thing. It had bothered him at the time. What he didn't tell Ryan was that by ignoring "it" they were ignoring him as long as he dated a man.
 
Ryan frowned "if we started a relationship would it cause problems? I mean I don't want you and your parents to fight. What about school and your apartment? If you get into an argument with them over me will you lose everything?" Ryan didn't want to cause problems for anyone and he didn't want Zachary to lose his family because they were together. He hated being a bother and arguments between others which was why he did what his family wanted. It was just easier to do what they wanted.
 
"Nah, they'll just ignore it again. Doesn't matter, besides, I pay for my own apartment and took a lot of loans out for school. Parents couldn't pay so I had to find a way." Zachary explained with a shrug. He didn't mind. "Even if it did cause an argument and all that happened I still wouldn't leave you, especially if I had fallen for you." A lot of good things and good people were rare in his life and Zachary held onto the ones he found with an iron grip. "People like you are rare RyRy, I'm not letting you go that easily." He laughed walking into the restaurant. They were seated almost instantly in a two person booth.
 
Ryan smiled "I'm glad that I met you. I'm glad we got pared together for the project. I need more good things in my life. I've always been a loner, but mostly because I'm kind of shy. I don't know how to talk to people and I'm kind of in-between worlds. I look like a preppy stuck up guy, but my soul is an artist. If I had a choice I'd probably get a tattoo or something to express myself. I'd wear more relaxed clothe and let my hair get a little longer. I'd feel more comfortable in my skin and maybe I'd feel more open to talk." If I tried to do any of those things my parents would freak."
 
"Hey," Zachary said softly setting his menu down. "When you graduate, we could go you know. Even if we aren't still together we can go and be roomates or something somewhere else, somewhere where you are comfortable with yourself. No one should live like that." Zachary took his hand, wrapping it around his. He took a quick glance around. No one was looking. He leaned across the table and captured Ryan's lips with his own. It was pure and sweet and when he pulled away Zachary's lips lingered over his. "I mean it Ryan. When we graduate we can leave together." His lips brushed against Ryans as he spoke. Zachary pecked his lips softly once more before sitting back. Yup, kissing him is still awesome.
 
Ryan smiled into the kiss and when Zachary pulled away Ryan nodded. "I would really like that Zachary." Ryan liked that Zachary would still want to be friends even if they broke up. "Maybe tomorrow we can go over to my place. We can work on the project for a little than maybe watch another movie. I was thinking something more funny now that you don't need to scare me to get close."

The waitress came over and Ryan ordered the orange chicken with a side of chicken fried rice. The restaurant had the best fried rice he had ever had. No matter what he got he always ordered a side of fried rice.
 
Zachary blushed finding out that Ryan knew what he had been doing. "Hey it worked right." He hid his blush with a cheeky smile as the waitress came over. He had to maintain some serious self control to stop himself from looking her body over. She was a pretty girl but he had a relationship now, or at least a sort of relationship. "Uh, Ill have the uh, amazing chicken with white rice." He said refusing to move his eyes from either her face or his menu.

The waitress left with their order and Zachary sighed lightly. That was one of the hardest things he has ever done.
 
Ryan smiled "yeah it did" he said chuckling. He saw how Zachary tried not to look at the waitress, but it was easy to see he was really struggling. Ryan's stomach plunged into his stomach and he wondered if maybe Zachary was just being nice. Or worse that Zachary didn't see this as anything, but a short term thing. Maybe that was why he emphasized so much that even if they weren't dating he'd still want to be friends. Would Ryan be able to trust Zachary? Just because he didn't let his eyes wander now didn't mean that later on he'd stop fighting and let more than his eyes wander. He pushed the thought away and tried to focus on the date, but it was still in the back of his mind.
 
Zachary looked up sheepishly at Ryan. He knew the other boy had seen, hell he's sitting right there. "I-I...I'm sorry about that I...It's been a while since I've dated anyone. Bare with me?" He shrugged lamely unsure of how to diffuse the situation. It was hard to break old habits in one day. He just hoped that Ryan would give him a chance. Just one is all that he needed.
 
Ryan gave a soft smile although it didn't reach his eyes. "No it's okay I get it. I mean this is only the first date." He hesitated in asking a question that was on his mind. He looked around and took a deep breath "ummm Zachary is....is it going to be a problem that I'm a virgin" he asked? The word virgin came out softly and his cheeks turned pink. "I mean I've never just wanted my first time with a stranger and even if I was fine with that I hate clubs." He knew some guys had problems with virgins and he hoped that wasn't the case with Zachary.
 
Zachary was shocked that Ryan was a virgin. He had just assumed. Good thing he told me now. I'd hate myself if I hurt him. Then his thoughts changed. The look in his eye changed to a concealed emotion. "No that's fine. Just tell me when you're ready." He answered easily. Zachary would wait but something inside of him itched to 'corrupt' the boy. To push him over that edge and have him screaming his name.
Zachary needed to reign in his imagination that was running rampant. He didn't want to give Ryan the wrong idea, if he hadn't already.
 
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