Hecatoncheires
un jour je serai de retour près de toi
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[BCOLOR=#000000]♦ THE LAUNDRY INDUCTION DAY -Paul Ascott 04:05 Feb 09
Paul Ascott: With minimal set dressing, the dreary patch of industrial estate could well pass for some sort of apocalyptic landscape. It's the sort of area that was barely considered "modern" even when old Maggie Thatcher still called No. 10 Downing Street home, and the years haven't been kind to it. Rusting chain fences, decrepit buildings and a cheery view of a set of Thames floodgates, the estate seems like yet another forgotten little corner of London. -04:05 Feb 09
Paul Ascott: This is precisely why the Laundry's been using it as the site of one of its training facilities for several years now. -04:05 Feb 09
Paul Ascott: Paul Ascott takes in the depressing sight as he hauls himself out from his battered old Mini Cooper, jacket in one arm and messenger bag in the other. His warrant card is clutched between his teeth, a flagrant violation of health and safety yet one he's not overly upset about. It's a Monday, after all, and he's still nursing a hangover from his Saturday night spent drinking alone and wondering just how the fuck he got himself into this mess. -04:05 Feb 09
Paul Ascott: Clear of the tiny car at last he hauls on his jacket, slings the bag over his shoulder and pockets the card before trudging over to one of the battered old warehouses. With any luck, this latest inductee group will be on time. -04:05 Feb 09
Paul Ascott: He feels its a bit much to hope that they're in any way competent. This is the Laundry, after all. -04:05 Feb 09
Penny Thistlewhitt: Penny Thistlewhitt. Her skills included baking cookies and making the perfect scrambled eggs. She was also pretty good at shooting things thanks to growing up with and bunch of hunters. Fresh kills made the best meals, they always said. So naturally she was the perfect choice for... whatever nonsense she had gotten herself in to. Wearing an apron printed with cute little geese and having a bag full of more cooking supplies than actual personal items, when she arrived by foot at the old warehouses, she looked incredibly out of place. "...I... did I get the directions right?" she glanced down at the slip of paper in her hands. -04:09 Feb 09
Paul Ascott: Looking up from his phone, Paul flashes a rueful, almost apologetic smile at the new arrival. Poor girl doesn't know what she's in for, after all. "You might have done, if I could just see your warrant card quickly." -04:12 Feb 09
Penny Thistlewhitt: "Of course!" The slip of paper disappeared in to her pocket, and then Penny was fumbling about looking for her warrent. Several odd items ended up getting pulled out. Zipbags of herbs, corkscrews, twine, a partially chewed piece of beef jerky, and finally the now questionably sticky warrent card. Penny handed it over and then wiped her sticky hands on her apron. -04:14 Feb 09
Paul Ascott: Peering down at the card, and trying not to be too drawn in by the wards already active on it, Paul nods. "Good stuff. Thistlewitt, isn't it? I'm Paul. I'll be taking the seminar today." He motions with his head towards the rickety warehouse he's leaning against. "It's nicer on the inside, honest. The Laundry might be staffed by cheapskates, but even HR isn't that evil." -04:17 Feb 09
Penny Thistlewhitt: "Good, evil, everyone has to eat, yes?" she commented with enthusiam. Penny shuffled her bag from one hand to the other, shifting on her feet in impatient excitement. "I can't wait for this job. This is the best job I have ever been offer! ...Actually the pay is the worst, but the location- ....Actually the location seems to be just as dire. But the experiences will be-" Penny paused at that too. When she thought about it, this actually seemed like a pretty shitty job offer, the only reason she accepted it was because no one else would hire her. "Well- It's a job." -04:21 Feb 09
Paul Ascott: Paul raises an eyebrow. "Soooo... you actually applied for this job? Voluntarily?" -04:26 Feb 09
[(Timeout) Alexia McAllister got too distracted for their own good...] -04:33 Feb 09
Penny Thistlewhitt: Penny looked a bit sheepish. "I may have sent out mass quantities of resumes to every possible place on the planet that was currently hiring. ...Oh, but don't think I won't take this job seriously and give it my all!" She nodded, quickly. -04:33 Feb 09
Paul Ascott: Paul blinks. "Huh. Can't remember the last time I met an actual volunteer. Either way, looks like you're the first here. Should have some others along soon enough, though." -04:36 Feb 09
[Alexia McAllister enters.] -04:36 Feb 09
[Alexia McAllister enters.] -04:39 Feb 09[/BCOLOR]
[(Logout) Alexia McAllister melts away.] -((04:40 Feb 09))
[BCOLOR=#000000][Alexia McAllister enters.] -04:41 Feb 09
Alexia McAllister: Alexia made her way up to the two people standing outside of the rickety building. Looking back and forth she tried to figure out if this was the place she was supposed to be at "This cant be the place... can it?" Alexia commented as she looked down at her slip of paper. -04:42 Feb 09
Paul Ascott: As if on cue, another figure stepped into the grim industrial estate. Paul waves an arm at her. "Speaking of which, here's one now." -04:45 Feb 09
Alexia McAllister: Looking up Alexia stared at him "So, I take it I am where I am supposed to be? Well, since there isn't much of anything else.. I take it I am." -04:46 Feb 09
Penny Thistlewhitt: Penny waved a hand brightly. At least she wasn't going to be the only new recruit today. Being the lone newbie was always so awkward. -04:46 Feb 09
Paul Ascott: Paul nods. "Not exactly Soho, no. If I could see your warrant card?" -04:47 Feb 09
Alexia McAllister: Holding out the card she gave it to the man somewhat happy to be rid of it "So.. what exactly... is this building?" -04:48 Feb 09
Paul Ascott: After a second Paul returns the card, tapping a box on his phone screen marked 'McAllister - R&D'. He flashes a brief, hollow smile at the question. "It's a warehouse, innit? Your new company owns it. Amazing the price you can get for a building where strange shit has gone down, even in London." -04:50 Feb 09
Alexia McAllister: Taking a few steps she walked up to one of the walls and put a hand on it. "Yeah, I bet.. What happened in here? I bet it was an interesting scene. Was it murder?" Alexia prodded. -04:52 Feb 09
Paul Ascott: Paul shrugs. "Classified. That's one thing you'll want to learn fast. Folks at the Laundry don't like questions." -04:54 Feb 09
Penny Thistlewhitt: "Strange shit? Murder?" Penny repeated, now looking a little dubious and worried. She was PRETTY sure all her applications were sent for kitchen duties. No one said anything about strangeness and murders. Who the hell just hired her! "What ISN'T classified?" -04:55 Feb 09
Alexia McAllister: Giving a glance over at the other girl Alexia just smiled "I bet... are we expecting others...? I don't really like dealing with large groups of people." Alexia mumbled out. -04:55 Feb 09
Paul Ascott: "All depends on your department," Paul says in answer to Penny's question. "As for how many we're expecting, depends. We've got several seminars for new recruits running. We'll give it another minute then head inside." -04:57 Feb 09
[Alexia McAllister ] -04:59 Feb 09
Alexia McAllister: Going over and sitting against the edge of the warehouse Alexia let her head rest back "Atleast it isn't raining." -05:00 Feb 09
Paul Ascott: "Don't jinx it." -05:01 Feb 09
Penny Thistlewhitt: "Would anyone like a cookie while we wait?" she said, digging around in her pockets until she pulled out a small paperbag filled with giner snaps. "They are my super special charm the new bosses cookies!" -05:04 Feb 09
[Alexia McAllister ] -05:06 Feb 09
Alexia McAllister: Blinking at the call for cookies Alexia was the first one over. "Oh, yes please... I have an issue with sweets." Alexia let known. "Don't judge." -05:06 Feb 09
Paul Ascott: Paul blinks again. This level of enthusiasm was... unusual for the job. No doubt it'll be gone within a week, though. "I'm alright, thanks." Checking his watch, he sighs and pushes himself away from the warehouse wall. "Alright, it's getting cold. Let's head on in. Any late arrivals will have to find their own way, I guess." -05:07 Feb 09
[(Timeout) Alexia McAllister has been fed to the plot bunnies for failure to participate] -05:08 Feb 09
Paul Ascott: Moving over to the doors, Paul starts to haul them open before glancing over at the recruits. "Have your warrant cards at the ready. Security here is kinda stiff." -05:08 Feb 09
Penny Thistlewhitt: Her new coworker got an extra cookie before Penny was quickly stuffing the bag of cookies back in to her pockets and fumbling for her warrent card again. She was at his heels, bag in hand and sticky card held up above her head! "Got it! Ready, sir!" -05:10 Feb 09
Alexia McAllister: Taking the two cookies and putting them away in one of her pockets Alexia moved in behind them both. Looking at the girl who gave her the cookies Alexia could only smile. Moving her hands down she took her card out once more and had in in hand. -05:11 Feb 09
Paul Ascott: Pulling the doors and stepping inside, Paul marches into the dreary warehouse interior like he's done it a thousand times before. Which, to be fair, it feels like he has. His warrant card is up and at the ready as a figure lurches out of the gloom. It's dressed in a security guard's uniform and shaped roughly like a man, but something about the grey texture of it's skin and the empty, gazing eyes suggest it might be otherwise. -05:13 Feb 09
Paul Ascott: As does the hole in the side of its head. -05:13 Feb 09
Paul Ascott: Brandishing the card, Paul strides past the security guard-thing. "Morning, Pete. These two are with me." -05:14 Feb 09[/BCOLOR]
[(Logout) Alexia McAllister is off to feed the plot bunnies.] -((05:14 Feb 09))
[BCOLOR=#000000][Alexia McAllister ] -05:16 Feb 09
Alexia McAllister: Walking behind the man Alexia couldn't help but stare. Looking at the creature she couldn't help but be attracted to it. Biting her lip she moved past holding the card out. "Intrigueing man." -05:17 Feb 09
Penny Thistlewhitt: Penny's mouth went gapping open. Kinda like that hole in the guy's head. She held up her card to make sure it was seeable and now was even closer on the new boss-guy's heels. What the hell kind of place did she get hired at! For real! -05:18 Feb 09
Paul Ascott: Without breaking stride or looking around, Paul tugs open another door leading to a flight of stairs that descend down below the warehouse. "That's Pete. Used to work in Purchasing, before his accident." -05:19 Feb 09
Paul Ascott: He takes the steps two at a time as he talks. "Now he's one of the Laundry's RHEs. Don't call them zombies. They hate that." -05:20 Feb 09
Alexia McAllister: Accident? Is THAT what people did to other people in here?! Blinking twice Alexia smiled slightly "Thats... awful. But, I guess hes doing his job now though- Zombies? But sentient? So technicly an undead construct?" -05:20 Feb 09
Paul Ascott: "Not exactly. Residual Human Resources stuck an entity in his head that basically rides him about like a meat-puppet." Paul shrugs at the bottom of the stairs. "Not like he was using his body anymore." -05:22 Feb 09
Alexia McAllister: Stopping in her tracks Alexia realized what the man actually said "Wait, actual...." was all she said before trailing off. Shaking her head she thought about trying to leave but something screaming in her head to continue. "What is going on here? Zombies...? Like.." -05:22 Feb 09
Penny Thistlewhitt: "...If I have to cook up brains, I am going to have to rework some of my recipes." Penny muttered, her eyes still a bit wide. -05:24 Feb 09
Paul Ascott: "Don't think that's Catering's department, so I wouldn't worry." Paul heaves open another heavy, steel-reinforced door, leading onto a long, non-descript corridor. "Anyway, welcome to the Peckham Training Facility. We're in Seminar Room 2. This way." -05:26 Feb 09
Paul Ascott: Without another word, he strides out into the corridor, hands in his pockets. -05:26 Feb 09
[(Timeout) Alexia McAllister has timed out.] -05:27 Feb 09
Paul Ascott: The place smells of air freshners that are desperately trying to hold back the damp. The walls are peeling plasterboard. Each of the doors has a red lightbulb above them, and most of them are on. -05:27 Feb 09
Alexia McAllister: Looking around the inside of the corridor she couldn't help but feel a sense of worthlessness "So, what is the value of a human life if their walls are like this?" was all the girl could manage to say about it. -05:28 Feb 09
[(Timeout) Alexia McAllister has timed out.] -05:32 Feb 09
Penny Thistlewhitt: Penny was now trying to think of all the paperwork she signed, and hope she hadn't unwittingly skimmed over fine print that would allow the copmany to implany HER with... what did he call it? An entity? Her nose twitched at the smells. Well. As long as the kitchens were clean, she could deal with this! -05:34 Feb 09
Paul Ascott: Paul chuckles. "I can assure you that Health and Safety is a very serious matter here at the Laundry. Which is why I should stress not to open any doors with the lights on. Might be you'll get yelled at... or might be the ward on it will cook you alive." -05:35 Feb 09
Paul Ascott: He leads the pair down and round the corner to the end of the corridor, finally stopping outside yet another non-descript door. This one without an active red light. "Here we go." -05:36 Feb 09
Alexia McAllister: Looking around at all the doors Alexia could only Nods "This all is alot like Men in Black.". Following behind him she walked up to the door and opened it "I really feel like this is Men in Black." -05:37 Feb 09
Paul Ascott: The room inside is about as bland and non-descript as the corridor it leads onto. White plasterboard, stained in places, with several chairs already arrayed around it. A table is stuck into one of the corners, with a heavy steel coffee container stacked atop it alongside cups. -05:37 Feb 09
Paul Ascott: Paul shakes his head again. "Not nearly so exciting, trust me. Plus we don't dress as nicely." He wanders over to the chair at the centre of the room and sticks his bag down next to it. "Help yourself to the coffee. It's awful, but free." -05:38 Feb 09
Alexia McAllister: Moving into the room she sat down in one of the chairs "Still... it feels like Men in Black.". At the word of Coffe she just sighed "No tea? To expensive?" -05:39 Feb 09
Paul Ascott: Paul looks up from rummaging through his bag. "There should be some bags under the table. I'll ask the guys here to bring along some hot water." -05:41 Feb 09
Paul Ascott: He smiles humourlessly. "So they'll be along in an hour, if we're lucky." -05:41 Feb 09
Penny Thistlewhitt: "Coffee!" Penny was at the table in a second, dropping her bag as she poured herself a cup. Immediately she was spitting black coffee out everywhere. "Oh sweet heavens... Oh no. No. I can fix this." What horrible mess was this. Penny dropped to her knees to dig around in her bag. Syrups and creamers. Perfect! -05:42 Feb 09
Alexia McAllister: Turning to go to the table Alexia stopped dead in her tracks. Watching the vents unfolding infront of her the girl was speechless. There was coffee everywhere and the girl didn't seem to care what so ever. "I... I need a tea bag while you are down there." -05:43 Feb 09
Penny Thistlewhitt: "I... I will give you some of MY tea." Penny said, after pulling out the company provided packages. They looked like pieces of bark and bits of dirt dug up from a yard. It certainly didn't SMELL like tea. "Hot water is trickier, I didn't even THINK to bring a kettle! Silly me!" -05:46 Feb 09
Paul Ascott: Paul waves his phone at the pair. "Not to worry, they'll bring some in their own sweet time. In the mean time, the coffee will hopefully be a stop-gap. Now, get yourselves fixed up and grab a seat." -05:47 Feb 09
Alexia McAllister: Right eye twitching slighly Alex brought herself to smile "Yes, silly you.". Backing away slowly Alexia went and returned to her seat. -05:48 Feb 09
Penny Thistlewhitt: Penny at least made her cup of coffee drinkable and after a quick wiping up the mess she spat all over the place, she dashed over to a seat and plopped herself in it. "Ready, sir!" -05:54 Feb 09
Paul Ascott: With a sigh, Paul tugs several files from his bag before re-seating himself. He flashes a flimsy attempt at a cheery smile as he opens them. "Alright. Well, thank you both for coming. I'm Paul from Training Division, and I'll be getting you guys orientated for working at the Laundry. Let's start with introductions." He points over at Alexia. -05:56 Feb 09
Alexia McAllister: Leaning back in her seat she watched as the man spoke. Introductions... she didn't like introducing herself. Rolling her eyes Alexia sighed "Alexia, I uh... Occult Forensics." she blurted out suddenly. -06:00 Feb 09
Paul Ascott: "Cool. So you're gonna be one of Angleton's bods." He grins slightly. "Good luck. And now..." His hand swings across to point at Penny. -06:01 Feb 09
Penny Thistlewhitt: Penny stood up, gesturing at herself with a hand. "Penny Thistlewhitt! I am here for Catering, and let me just say not only can I cook anything - and I do mean ANYTHING - I can also kill and butcher it myself! Because if you want to eat good fresh food, your ass better be able to kill it!" She flashed a big toothy grin. "I also like butterflies and walks on the beach." -06:04 Feb 09
Paul Ascott: "Excellent. Maybe you can single-handedly save the clusterfuck that is Catering, then." With another attempt at a smile, Paul opens another file. "Alright, so welcome to Laundry Induction Course LIC101. Since there's only two of you I don't think an ice-breaker's really necessary, so let's move ourselves on to the next part. Either of you know much about the agency you'll be working for?" -06:07 Feb 09
Alexia McAllister: Putting her hands on the table Alexia shook her head. She knew very little about any of it. "Very little... I know it has to do with the occult and forensics." Alexia said and soon realized how stupid it sounds. "Wow..." Was all she could manage to bring herself to say after that. -06:09 Feb 09
Penny Thistlewhitt: "I know that you should really read the fine print before you go signing weird job contracts." Penny said with her hand raised in the air. -06:11 Feb 09
Paul Ascott: "You..." he points to Penny, "...are bang on the money, and you..." he turns to Alexia, "...aren't wrong? I guess? To cut a long story short, you're both now employees of the oldest and most secret intelligence service in the UK. We call it the Laundry." -06:12 Feb 09
Paul Ascott: "MI5 handles internal security, MI6 tackles international shenanigans, which leaves us with the weirdest job. We're in place to handle what the public would call the 'supernatural'." -06:13 Feb 09
Paul Ascott: "Our job is to keep the people safe but more importantly, to keep them in the dark. Bad enough you have folks freaking out about terrorists and immigration crises. Imagine what'd happen if they found out just how... pourous the universe actually is." -06:15 Feb 09
Paul Ascott: "So, any questions?" -06:15 Feb 09
Penny Thistlewhitt: Penny raised her hand again. -06:16 Feb 09
Paul Ascott: "Fire away." -06:17 Feb 09
Penny Thistlewhitt: "What do Not-Zombies eat, and am I going to get to learn how to cook with supernatural ingredients?" This was batshit crazy, but this was a pretty serious question. -06:18 Feb 09
Alexia McAllister: Pourous.... the word made Alexia think about what exactly she was getting herself into. Taking a deep breath her face began to change to a shade of red as she thought of dealing with all the different people. Unable to accept that fact she to raised her hand. -06:19 Feb 09
Paul Ascott: Paul shakes his head. "Like I said earlier, not your problem. Not anymore at least: Catering was in a lot of internal disputes over this issue for a while. But general policy now? If you can't stick a fork in it? Not Catering's problem." -06:20 Feb 09
Paul Ascott: "So you won't have to worry about feeding the RHEs or the other shit they've got down in the Stables. Not your job." -06:20 Feb 09
Paul Ascott: He nods to Alexia. "You don't need to raise your hand or anything, by the way. You got a question, just fire away." -06:27 Feb 09
[Alexia McAllister ] -06:27 Feb 09
Alexia McAllister: Nodding slowly Alexia smiled "So, about the other people I will be dealing with. Despite what I may seem like.. I am far from a people person. How many people do I expect to deal with and will I be held accountable for verbal assaults on said individuals?" -06:29 Feb 09
Paul Ascott: Paul's smile actually seems genuine this time. "You're over in R&D, so I wouldn't worry. They're all computer people, not people people. Most folks are all about their work over in that neck of the woods, so if you just wanna keep your head down and do the job, that won't be an issue." -06:30 Feb 09
Alexia McAllister: For the first time so far Alexia seemed actually happy "Oh, that sounds really nice. So... whats the death rate there?" She asked next. -06:32 Feb 09
Penny Thistlewhitt: Penny blinked, casting Alexia a wide-eyed look. She mouthed, death rate? -06:33 Feb 09
Paul Ascott: Paul stammers for a moment, before responding with, "Uhh... honestly not sure. They run a pretty tight ship over there, though, and if you're in Occult Forensics you'll be dealing with the weird shit after the fact." -06:33 Feb 09
Alexia McAllister: Considering what he said Alexia shrugged "Alright, I do well with odd things. I personally enjoy weird things more than normal stuff.". Moving a hand down she rummaged around in a pocket before taking part of the cookies out. -06:36 Feb 09
Paul Ascott: "...cool. So. Moving on, let me go over Laundry history a bit, since that's next on the agenda. This organisation in its current incarnation dates back to the Second World War." -06:39 Feb 09
Paul Ascott: "You'll probably know that all manner of espionage and spy operations went on during the conflict, but you might now know just how into the occult the Nazis were. The Thule-Gesellschaft, and all that. They were experimenting with all manner of bad shit. We were established to stop them." -06:40 Feb 09
Paul Ascott: "After the fall of the Third Reich, our wartime structure got re-shuffled and established as one of the three intelligence services of the UK. Since then, we've--" -06:42 Feb 09
♦ Someone knocks on the seminar room door heavily. The sound resonates through the cramped room. -Paul Ascott 06:43 Feb 09
Paul Ascott: Blinking, Paul glances at his watch. "Fuck me, they were fast with that hot water." He looks up at Alexia and Penny. "Could one of you...?" -06:43 Feb 09
Alexia McAllister: Startled Alexia looked up at the door. Standing up she made her way over to the door. Opening it up she looked at the thing holding the hot water. -06:44 Feb 09
♦ A man's standing on the other side of the door, head down and a kettle in one of his hands. -Paul Ascott 06:45 Feb 09
Alexia McAllister: Moving her hand she took the kettle before turning and walking back into the room. "Thank you." Alexia called back before grabbing a cup and sitting back down. "Finally... Tea." -06:46 Feb 09
♦ As Alexia re-takes her seat, she feels a hand clamp down on her shoulder. The figure at the door has come striding into the room. The grip is vice-like, fingers icy-cold. -Paul Ascott 06:47 Feb 09
Paul Ascott: "Hey, wait-- Who the fuck's this supposed to be?" Paul's rising from his chair, frowning. -06:48 Feb 09
[Alexia McAllister ] -06:48 Feb 09
Alexia McAllister: Freezing solid Alexia didnt and couldn't move. The feeling of cold on her shoulders made her shiver "Its cold... and if you dont want it to get really hot you will let me go you!" Alexia said before beginning to turn like she was going to douse the man witht he hot water. -06:49 Feb 09
Penny Thistlewhitt: Penny raised a finger to speak... and then dropped it again. Nope, she'd just like the boss-guy handle this one! -06:50 Feb 09
[(Timeout) Alexia McAllister was sacrificed to the roleplay gods by a tribe of wild newbies.] -06:52 Feb 09
♦ As Alexia swings about, she finally catches sight of the figure's face. Ashen, with strange markings ringing his forehead. But its his eyes that demand notice. -Paul Ascott 06:52 Feb 09
♦ They're alive with movement; wriggling, writhing things moving about just below their surfaces. -Paul Ascott 06:52 Feb 09
♦ The grip tightens, fingers biting into her flesh. -Paul Ascott 06:53 Feb 09
Alexia McAllister: Catching the things eyes Alexia stopped immediately. A lightning bolt of fear shot up her spine as she tried to yank herself out of the creatures grasp "What is that! Get it away from me!" She cried before it began to dig its fingers into her. Letting out a scream she tried to claw at the things hand to get out of its grip. -06:55 Feb 09
Paul Ascott: Realisation dawns in Paul. Followed immediately by blind panic. "That's not one of ours, whatever the fuck he is! Shit--" The seminar tutor scrambles for his bag. -06:57 Feb 09
♦ His other hand free from the kettle, the figure grabs Alexiawith both arms. -Paul Ascott 06:57 Feb 09
Penny Thistlewhitt: "He's not what?!" Penny jumped on to her chair and with a squeal she screamed. "DUCK!" SPLISH! Her cup of terrible hot coffee went flying at the guy's head! -06:59 Feb 09
Alexia McAllister: Screaming Alexia tried to flail about to get out of its grip. Unable to move she felt herself get grabbed again. "No! Help me! Kill this thing!" She screamed as she tried to grab at the kettle once more. A second later she blinked and moved her head as coffee flew over and hit the creature. -07:00 Feb 09
♦ The cup bounces off the figure's head, and his face is doused with boiling coffee. Alexia can see his skin blistering as he twists his head about to face Penny. -Paul Ascott 07:00 Feb 09
Penny Thistlewhitt: "...Oh no." Penny face fell. Oh no, oh no. Oh no. Eyes going wider, she fumbled through all her pockets again until she whipped a knife out of her back pocket. A beautiful, stainless steel, perfectly balanced butcher's knife. The prized piece of her collection and KINF OF a bitch to get through customs. "Uhm...! Unhand that woman!" -07:02 Feb 09
Paul Ascott: Paul's torn through his bag without any luck in finding what he's after. Cursing, he flings the bag aside. "--Fuck!" -07:03 Feb 09
Alexia McAllister: Staring at the knife in the girls hand Alexia tried flailing about before kicking the seat out form under her. Now hanging she tried flinging her torso back and forth before kicking forward and then backwards as hard as she could hoping to hit the creatures family jewels. -07:04 Feb 09
♦ The hulking man who's just interrupted the seminar flings Alexia aside as he lumbers towards Penny... -Paul Ascott 07:04 Feb 09
Penny Thistlewhitt: "Okay, cool, you listen to-" she swallowed "reason! Now you stop... doing whateveryou'redoingandjuststoprightthere!" To her credit she didn't flee from standing on her chair. She swiped her knife a bit. "I know how to fillet a fish in under a minute, just so you know!" -07:07 Feb 09
Alexia McAllister: Landing against the edge of the small room Alexia groans as she tries to move her arms. She felt like the creature had broken both of her shoulder blades "Ahh... I think it broke my shoulder blade or something.." Alexia cried out as she stayed away from the creature. "What is that thing?!" -07:08 Feb 09
Paul Ascott: Paul rushes forwards, staying low as he slams into the figure's legs and wraps his arms around them. The momentum carries the pair across the room and into a stack of cheap office chairs. "Nevermind that! Fucking get him!" -07:10 Feb 09
Alexia McAllister: Watching Paul fly across the room and charge into the creature was... rather attractive. Shaking her head Alexia leaned foward and grabbed the kettle. Ripping the handle off the stepped on the end of it to flatten it before running over and trying to jam the pointy end into the creatures ear. -07:12 Feb 09
[(Timeout) Alexia McAllister got too distracted for their own good...] -07:17 Feb 09
♦ The thing has manouvered about and has Paul in a headlock as Alexia slams the kettle against the side of his head, knocking him sideways. -Paul Ascott 07:17 Feb 09
Paul Ascott: "--Fuck!" -07:18 Feb 09
Penny Thistlewhitt: "This is NOT how I imagined my first day at work!" squealed Penny. She jumped from chair to chair until she was close enough to leap on to the dog pile as well, knife at the ready. Which wasn't so easy when you were trying not to accidentally stab someone you weren't supposed to! "I'M SORRY! THIS ISN'T PERSONAL!" She brought the knife down hard at the guy's back, hoping to hit spine. The spine was always a quick bet to killing your prey. -07:20 Feb 09
♦ The thing's skin is almost spongey as Penny drives the blade into it. Immediately he goes limp, flopping onto the floor like the gods just flipped the switch on him. -Paul Ascott 07:23 Feb 09
Paul Ascott: Choking and spluttering, Paul lurches up into a sitting position as he massages his throat. Deep red hand-prints still linger on it. "...everyone okay?" -07:23 Feb 09
Alexia McAllister: Recoiling from strikeing the creature Alexia moved the kettle around and tried to bring it down on its head. Moving with so much force she fell forward and straight onto the creature limp on the floor. -07:23 Feb 09[/BCOLOR]
[BCOLOR=#000000]♦ The thing's eyes are still moving. Still wriggling. Alexia can see tiny, transluscent worms bursting out from his irises. -Paul Ascott 07:24 Feb 09
[BCOLOR=#000000]Alexia McAllister: Letting out a scream she burst to the other side of the room with a speed that surprised even her. "Its not dead! Its eyes are.. worms!" She cried again as she kept in the corner of the room. -07:25 Feb 09
Paul Ascott: Paul scrambles back from the body on his hands and knees. "Keep back from it! That's got something riding it, and it's not ours!" -07:26 Feb 09
Alexia McAllister: Looking around she suddenly looked at the door before going to open it "Why are we still in here?! Couldn't we have just locked it in here and left it to live out whatever it is?" Alexia asked. -07:28 Feb 09
Penny Thistlewhitt: "Whoa, that's pretty gross!" Penny jumped back several paces too because, EW. And WHAT? And crap. She left her knife sticking in it! Penny grabbed one of the chairs and held it up at the ready. "You really should have issued us guns when we walked in the doors!" -07:29 Feb 09
Paul Ascott: "You're not cleared for firearms." Paul blinks, apparently baffled by the rote answer that just came out of his mouth. Shaking his head to clear and coughing again, he hauls himself to his feet. "Alright, we need to leave. Whatever the hell's going on it's a job for the Cleaners, not us." -07:31 Feb 09
Penny Thistlewhitt: "Not without my knife!" she exclaimed. Which was crazy, she knew, but she payed a FORTUNE for that thing, she wasn't leaving it in a questionably dead body to get tossed out or jacked by someone who wouldn't appreciate it. -07:33 Feb 09
Alexia McAllister: Slipping out of the door without having to be told twice Alexia sat down against the outside corridores walls. Blood had begun to show through her top where the creature had punctured her skin. "I think the adrenalins wearing off..." Alexia sighed as she winced in pain. -07:33 Feb 09
Paul Ascott: "Stay away from that body!" Paul grabs Penny by the arm and shoves her towards the door. "That fucking thing's leaking, you don't want to be anywhere near it." As he shoves Penny out the door, he ushers Alexia through too. "We'll get you checked over when we're out of here, don't worry." -07:34 Feb 09
Alexia McAllister: Being pushed out the door made Alexia grunt in pain. She knew she had to get moving but she found herself slowing down considerably. Shaking her head she got herself together when she finally began to realize what just happened. "Oh my god I could have just died!" -07:37 Feb 09
Penny Thistlewhitt: Penny was really starting to question the wisdom of all those resumes. "My knife.." she pouted with a scowl. She'd get that back later. She'd raise hell through the whole building if she had to. "You guys really need to work on your training seminars." -07:38 Feb 09
Paul Ascott: Though he's breathing heavily, Paul fixes Alexia with the most serious look he can muster. "That's the adrenaline wearing off and the panic setting in. Fight it until we're out of here, you're gonna need your wits about you. As for our seminars... this shit does not normally happen in our seminars." -07:39 Feb 09
Paul Ascott: Paul slams the door shut and locks it. "I aim for mediocrity and slight social awkwardness with my seminars, not fucking proxy RHEs trying to choke people to death." -07:39 Feb 09
Alexia McAllister: Shaking her head "No! No! That was amazing!" Alexia shouted through the pain. "That made me feel so alive.. Sorry.." Alexia said before blushing heavily. The more... darker parts of her mind were screaming to come out. Putting on a smile she began to hum as the door shut behind them. -07:41 Feb 09
Paul Ascott: Paul stares blankly. "...you're actually fucking terrifying, love." -07:41 Feb 09
Penny Thistlewhitt: "...So this kind of thing doesn't usually happen in the kitchens, right?" she just cast that bewildered look at Alexia again. Paul was right. She WAS kind of scary! -07:45 Feb 09
Paul Ascott: "Wouldn't know. The kitchens are Catering's closely guarded secret." Paul tugs his phone out from his jacket, glances down at it then grimaces. "Fucking signal's jammed. Make for the exit, sharpish." -07:46 Feb 09
Paul Ascott: Health and Safety had, of course, constructed a meticulous brief on what to do in emergency situations. -07:47 Feb 09
Paul Ascott: And Paul had, of course, not bothered to read it. So he was going for the old 'run like hell' approach and seeing how that worked out. -07:47 Feb 09
Alexia McAllister: Frowning at Pauls comment Alexia sighed "Am I really?" was all she could say before she looked around for the direction to the exit "Which way would that be?" Alexia asked. -07:48 Feb 09
Paul Ascott: "Back the way we came seems the safest bet." Paul starts off down the hall, muttering, "where the fuck is everyone?" -07:53 Feb 09
Penny Thistlewhitt: "I imagine they could be not-zombie dinner if they were hit before we were." Penny was still despondant over the fact her stuff was left behind. Now all she had was what was in her pockets. That would only get them so far if the company was under siege. She wasn't exactly trained for culinary combat! -07:55 Feb 09
Alexia McAllister: Looking around Alexia began to wonder the same thing "Is this place secure? I mean... like... erm... nevermind I don't really want to know." Alexia muttered as she tried to keep a handle on everything going on. -07:56 Feb 09
Paul Ascott: "Secure? Yeah. Entrances warded, RHEs stationed at the exits, basilisk cams in operation--" His voice cuts off as he rounds the corner, eyes contorting at the sight before him. -07:57 Feb 09
♦ The white plasterboard walls of the hallway are now splattered with crimson, slumped figures piled about thirty metres from where Paul, Alexia and Penny stand. More ashen figures, their heads wreathed with symbols, their eyes glowing, are dragging other corpses from the offices and dumping them. -Paul Ascott 07:59 Feb 09
♦ Their heads slide up as one, locked onto the three people at the end of the corridor. -Paul Ascott 07:59 Feb 09
Penny Thistlewhitt: "Oh god. I'm a psychic chef!" she hissed over at Paul, raising her hands up to her head in complete and utter horror. This was bad. This was SUPER BAD! -08:00 Feb 09
Paul Ascott: "...oh fuck me," Paul says quietly. -08:00 Feb 09
Alexia McAllister: Staring straight into the mass of creatures infront of her Alexia began to look around at the bodies. "Anything we can use? Or like uhm.. do we just run through them using the dead bodies as shields.." Alexia stammered as she looked around. -08:02 Feb 09
♦ Roughly half a dozen of the man-things begin stomping down the hall towards the trio. -Paul Ascott 08:04 Feb 09
Paul Ascott: Paul twists about and ushers his two seminar members backwards. "Fuck that. We're heading down. Back entrance. Move!" -08:04 Feb 09
Alexia McAllister: Looking behind her Alexia seemed to hesitate for a second before the stomping got louder. Eyes going wide she began to run towards the other end of the hallway. "Where are they coming from and why us!" -08:05 Feb 09
Penny Thistlewhitt: "FREE COOKIES!" Her snack of special ginger snaps went flying at the shambling bodies before Penny turned around and ran as instructed! -08:05 Feb 09
Paul Ascott: "No idea!" Paul yells as he sprints after Alexia, "but I'm not sticking around to find out! We gotta get clear of the facility before the countermeasures go active!" -08:07 Feb 09
Alexia McAllister: Countermeasures?! The word put the fear of some deity into the woman as Alexia began to run faster than she ever had in her life. She outpaced Paul and ended up at the end of the hallway before she realized she had no idea where to go next. -08:08 Feb 09
♦ The things in the hallway move fast, for lurching automatons. They're bearing down on the trio as Paul wrenches open another door. -Paul Ascott 08:09 Feb 09
Paul Ascott: Another gloomy stairwell leading downwards beckons them, as Paul cries, "Move it! Go!" -08:09 Feb 09
Penny Thistlewhitt: Hands flailing over her head, Penny went running down the stairs, nearly tripping down them in the process. Thank god for the stair railing to grab on it. -08:10 Feb 09
Alexia McAllister: Looking behind her she turned and sprinted into the door. Not caring where it went she began taking the steps two at a time being careful not to trip."I am not dressed for this!" She groaned as she felt her skirt rip. -08:11 Feb 09
Paul Ascott: Paul wrenches the door shut behind him and follows the pair down the stairs. "This is why Laundry folks don't dress up! Your shit inevitably gets ruined by this sort of crap!" -08:12 Feb 09
Alexia McAllister: Reaching down Alexia ripped the skirt the rest of the way up her side before continuing down the stairwell "Yeah... well whats the point of wearing clothes if they just get ripped." -08:14 Feb 09
Paul Ascott: Paul lands at the bottom of the stairs, panting heavily. "Or, y'know, they get stained to fuck. Blood, ichor, substances we've not got names for yet, all that good stuff. You alright, Penny?" -08:16 Feb 09
Penny Thistlewhitt: "Kind of thinking it's going to cost me a fortune on work friendly outfits and cleaning bills, and that is seriously going to cut in to my food budget!" she gasped out, leaning against the wall at the bottom of the stairs trying to catch her breath. -08:18 Feb 09
Alexia McAllister: Slumping down Alexia took deep breaths and put her hands over her head as the red on her shirt continued to deepen. "I need something to stop this bleeding..." Alexia mumbled out as she shook her head to get her head clear again. -08:19 Feb 09
Paul Ascott: "Just avoid situations like this in the future, and you'll be fine." Paul reaches into his bag and tugs out his crumpled spare shirt, throwing it over to Alexia. "Use that. It's only from Primark, don't worry about staining it." -08:21 Feb 09
Paul Ascott: He lets out a breath before nodding to the door in front of them. "Alright, this facility's basement doubles as a storage facility of some kind for Acquisitions. Kind of an off-flow site or something. The back entrance is just past it." -08:22 Feb 09
Alexia McAllister: Turning around and making sure her back was towards them Alexia took her dirty shirt off before trying to get all the blood on her skin off. Seeing the wounds the creature dug into her made her shiver. Looking away she took a deep breath "What are the chances... I can get a an infection." Alexia asked before she cleaned herself up using her own shirt. Now as clean as she could be she put Pauls shirt on. -08:23 Feb 09
Paul Ascott: Paul chuckles darkly. "Not to worry, love, this isn't the walking dead. Those things are animated by the entities riding them, not some virus or any malarky." -08:24 Feb 09
Paul Ascott: He thinks for a moment. "Though... you'll still probably want to get those cuts checked. That was basically a corpse that was trying to Vulcan death-grip you." -08:25 Feb 09
Alexia McAllister: Looking down at her bloody shirt Alexia kept ahold of it. Looking down at her feet she realized she left her heels back in the office. "I hope there isn't.. uhm.. I am barefoot." Alexia made it known. -08:31 Feb 09
Paul Ascott: "Prrrrrrobably not your wisest move. Though I'm told heels are a bitch to run in." -08:32 Feb 09
Penny Thistlewhitt: "Always gotta wash proper when handling dead meat." commented Penny. Then she glanced down at Alexia's barefeet and shrugged her shoulders. Spare shoes wouldn't have fit in her pockets! -08:33 Feb 09
♦ Without warning, the power cuts out. The stairwell is suddenly drenched in darkness. -Paul Ascott 08:33 Feb 09
♦ A second or so later its illuminated again by dim-red warning lights. -Paul Ascott 08:33 Feb 09
♦ And somewhere above them, something screeches. -Paul Ascott 08:34 Feb 09
♦ It's a sound that no human vocal chords could hope to produce. -Paul Ascott 08:34 Feb 09
Alexia McAllister: Looking around Alexia felt her heart drop. It was pitch black and she couldn't see her own hands infront of her. Looking up suddenly as the lights come back on a screech made her jump in her skin. Running to the door she tried to open it. -08:34 Feb 09
Paul Ascott: Paul feels his stomach drop. "...that'll be the countermeasure coming online." -08:35 Feb 09
Penny Thistlewhitt: Penny slapped all of her pockets until there was a jangling on keys. Out came her keyring, and the tiny little flashlight attached to it. "Okay! Have I mentioned this is the worst first day of work I have ever had? Because I set fire to a building once, and I thought THAT was a bad first day!" -08:39 Feb 09
Paul Ascott: "Weeeeeeeeelcome to the Laundry. I'll tell you about my first day if we survive." Above them, another inhuman screech echoes through the stairwell, and the door they came through bursts open. -08:40 Feb 09
[Alexia McAllister ] -08:41 Feb 09
♦ The door clatters down to the bottom of the steps, followed quickly by the pulverised corpse of one of the man-things that had been chasing them. -Paul Ascott 08:42 Feb 09
Alexia McAllister: Shaking her head Alexia took a deep breath. The nosies began to shake up her head before she stopped all together. "We need to move.." Alexia said with a blank voice. -08:42 Feb 09
♦ Something massive begins to bubble into the stairwell above. In the dim light it can barely be seen. A mass of writhing, flailing tentacles and eyes. -Paul Ascott 08:43 Feb 09
Paul Ascott: "Lovely. They've got a Shoggoth on clean-up. Run!" -08:44 Feb 09
Paul Ascott: Paul slams himself against the door, jarring it open and motioning for the two to get inside. The room ahead is large and airy, high-ceilings with rows of shelving. -08:45 Feb 09
Paul Ascott: The shelves are stacked high with marked wooden and steel crates, each of them stamped 'ACQUISITIONS'. -08:45 Feb 09
Alexia McAllister: Stopping and looking up Alexia just froze. Closing her eyes she began to count in her own head. "1.... 2.... 3...." She continued before opening her eyes with a smile. Turning she ran into the room and began looking at the shelves. "Anything we can use? I did really good in chemistry.. I swear!" -08:46 Feb 09
Paul Ascott: "That thing coming down the stairs is an organic tank! Unless you've got a Javelin missile launcher in your purse, there's nothing we're doing to stop it!" -08:47 Feb 09
♦ "TEKELI-LI!" the thing in the stairwell roars. -Paul Ascott 08:48 Feb 09
Penny Thistlewhitt: "I'M OKAY WITH JUST RUNNING REALLY REALLY FAST!" Penny squealed, dodging around a couple crates as she fled! -08:52 Feb 09
Alexia McAllister: Fiddling with her right pocket Alexia seemed to be searching for something "I uh... Well... once I made like a large explosion with a computer. It was crazy. I kidna remember what I did if you have like a tablet around. My bag I think its on the chair back in the room." -08:56 Feb 09
Paul Ascott: "Acquisitions are gonna be pissed." Paul reaches into his bag and tosses a small black tablet over to Alexia. "There's a few programs on it you can use. Do it fast. That shoggoth catches up to us, we're gonna suffer a combination of being eaten alive, crushed to death and eroded." -08:57 Feb 09
Paul Ascott: "Keep running whilst you do it!" Paul sets off in a sprint after Penny. -08:58 Feb 09
Alexia McAllister: Taking a deep breath Alexia began to run towards Paul. "Keep an arm on me so I don't fall as I type please." Alexia asked of him as she began to sort through the programs. Finding something suitable she began to type in the equation as she remembered it. -08:59 Feb 09
Paul Ascott: Grunting in acknowledgement, Paul slings an arm over Alexia's shoulder as they run. -09:01 Feb 09
Penny Thistlewhitt: "This room is ridiculously huge!" Penny shouted over her shoulder. It had to take up way more property than what was under the warehouses! -09:02 Feb 09
♦ Behind them, the door to the storage room is smashed off its hinges as the Shoggoth oozes into the room. It writhes forwards at an incredible speed, screeching all the while. -Paul Ascott 09:03 Feb 09
Alexia McAllister: Continuing the equation Alexia began to close her eyes. Taking a deep breath she made sure to keep her eyes closed as she stopped dead in her tracks and turned around. Counting in her head again.. "1... 2.... 3..." She continued before finishing the equation and entering it into the program. -09:04 Feb 09
Paul Ascott: "Just get to the goddamn doors, Penny! Before--" -09:04 Feb 09
♦ For a brief moment, Alexia's program takes the laws of the universe and breaks them over its knee. -Paul Ascott 09:05 Feb 09
♦ The shelves just ahead of Penny, Alexia and Paul seem to implode as their materials warp and bend, collapsing in on themselves and plummeting down onto the writhing mass of tentacles chasing them. -Paul Ascott 09:06 Feb 09
[(Timeout) Alexia McAllister got too distracted for their own good...] -09:07 Feb 09
♦ The shoggoth howls with rage as the metal and the crates grind it to a halt, the creature attempting to bubble around the obstacles. Ahead of Penny, the service entrance looms. -Paul Ascott 09:07 Feb 09
Paul Ascott: "The warrant card! Penny, use the card on the door!" -09:07 Feb 09
Alexia McAllister: Turning away from the monster she opened her eyes again and began to sprint down the hallway once more being careful not to step on anything bad. -09:08 Feb 09
Penny Thistlewhitt: "GOT IT! I THINK!" There sahe went fumbling through all her pockets again - and nearly dropped it - before she went shoving her warrant card at the door! -09:10 Feb 09
♦ The reinforced doors grind themselves open, just in time for the trio to burst through them. -Paul Ascott 09:10 Feb 09
Alexia McAllister: Not waiting to see if the door opened or not Alexia was not slowing down. Just as the doors opened she burst through them but didn't stop running. -09:11 Feb 09
Paul Ascott: Paul manages to go head over heels out onto the Thames slipway they've emerged onto, all but face-planting into the ground. -09:11 Feb 09
Paul Ascott: "THE DOOR! FUCKING CLOSE IT!" -09:11 Feb 09
Penny Thistlewhitt: "CLOSE IT CLOSE IT CLOSE!!" Penny shrieked. At herself. She was panicking, all right! At least she managed to do as instructed, and almost lost her fingers in the door in the process! -09:12 Feb 09
♦ Penny can see the mass of eyes and tentacles surging out of the darkness towards her as the facility doors finally seal themselves again. -Paul Ascott 09:13 Feb 09
Alexia McAllister: Clutching the Tablet to her chest Alexia finally came to a stop as she fell forward onto her knees. Her heart was beating a mile a minute and she felt like she was going to pass out. Falling to the side her body finally began to come down from the rush. -09:15 Feb 09
Paul Ascott: Nose and face bloodied, Paul crawls to his feet and pulls his phone from his battered jacket. Calling up one of his programs, he scans the camera over the door before breathing a sigh of relief. -09:16 Feb 09
Paul Ascott: "Ward's active. Even that thing on the other side won't be getting through." -09:16 Feb 09
Alexia McAllister: Turning over and onto her back Alexia put her arms out to her side "Was this all a test?" She asked suddenly. -09:17 Feb 09
Penny Thistlewhitt: "...And if everybody's dead, do I still have a job?" It was probably the worst thing to ask right about then, but seeing as she didn't have insurance and everything valuable she owned was now locked down with god-knew-what, Penny felt it important to ask. -09:17 Feb 09
Paul Ascott: Paul looks up at the pair of inexplicable survivors. "Don't get me wrong, the folks at Training are bastards. But they're not this big a bunch of bastards. And this was just one Laundry facility. You've still got a job... whether you want it or not." -09:19 Feb 09
Paul Ascott: Groaning slightly, Paul unlocks his phone again. "And before you ask, I have about as much idea as you as to what those things were and why that facility was guarded by a Class-III." -09:20 Feb 09
Paul Ascott: "That shit's way above my clearance level, I suspect." -09:20 Feb 09
Alexia McAllister: Smirking she sat up and began to laugh "Wow! If this is normal... I guess I am really good at chaos... So, since... can I keep this tablet?" -09:21 Feb 09
Paul Ascott: Paul blinks. "Yeah, no. I'm gonna need that back." -09:21 Feb 09
Paul Ascott: "That thing's got all five seasons of Breaking Bad on it." -09:22 Feb 09
Paul Ascott: "Plus if I lose it the Auditors will probably eat me." -09:22 Feb 09
Penny Thistlewhitt: Penny scratched the back of her head. "I really should have read that fine print. Not gonna make that mistake again!" -09:22 Feb 09
Alexia McAllister: Scowling Alexia considered not handing it back for a second. "Why... I have proven... capable of using it... and it isn't lost its simply being procured for a higher use other than sitting empty in a crate!" Alexia suddenly went off. Blushing and clearing her throat she held the tablet out before turning around "Sorry." -09:23 Feb 09
Paul Ascott: Paul just chuckles as he takes the tablet back. "Not to worry, love. You'll get your own rig soon enough." He turns to look at Penny, giving her that same rueful look as when they first met a few hours ago. "Yeah, you're really not." -09:24 Feb 09
Paul Ascott: "Laundry wasn't kidding when they said 'a job for life." -09:24 Feb 09
Alexia McAllister: Shrugging Alexia didn't have a problem with that "Honestly, I find this whole thing.. just brilliant... honestly its just what I was looking for. I mean... brillaint." Alexia commented. -09:25 Feb 09
Penny Thistlewhitt: "I still want my knife back." Penny scowled. -09:27 Feb 09
Paul Ascott: Paul raises an eyebrow at Alexia. "Man, they're gonna love you over at R&D. And if you ask the Cleaners nicely, they'll probably get your knife back. Assuming they don't have to destroy it." -09:28 Feb 09
Alexia McAllister: Looking over Alexia nodded in agreement "Yeah, I have my purse and bag in there. What about my phone?" -09:28 Feb 09
Paul Ascott: Paul begins dialing a number into his phone. "Now then. Time to completely kill any semblance of respect my bosses have for me." He punches dial, then holds the phone up to his ear. "Hi, Switchboard? I'm gonna need the Cleaners down here. ASAP." -09:29 Feb 09
♦ THE END -Paul Ascott 09:29 Feb 09[/BCOLOR][/BCOLOR][/BCOLOR][/FONT][/BCOLOR]
Paul Ascott: With minimal set dressing, the dreary patch of industrial estate could well pass for some sort of apocalyptic landscape. It's the sort of area that was barely considered "modern" even when old Maggie Thatcher still called No. 10 Downing Street home, and the years haven't been kind to it. Rusting chain fences, decrepit buildings and a cheery view of a set of Thames floodgates, the estate seems like yet another forgotten little corner of London. -04:05 Feb 09
Paul Ascott: This is precisely why the Laundry's been using it as the site of one of its training facilities for several years now. -04:05 Feb 09
Paul Ascott: Paul Ascott takes in the depressing sight as he hauls himself out from his battered old Mini Cooper, jacket in one arm and messenger bag in the other. His warrant card is clutched between his teeth, a flagrant violation of health and safety yet one he's not overly upset about. It's a Monday, after all, and he's still nursing a hangover from his Saturday night spent drinking alone and wondering just how the fuck he got himself into this mess. -04:05 Feb 09
Paul Ascott: Clear of the tiny car at last he hauls on his jacket, slings the bag over his shoulder and pockets the card before trudging over to one of the battered old warehouses. With any luck, this latest inductee group will be on time. -04:05 Feb 09
Paul Ascott: He feels its a bit much to hope that they're in any way competent. This is the Laundry, after all. -04:05 Feb 09
Penny Thistlewhitt: Penny Thistlewhitt. Her skills included baking cookies and making the perfect scrambled eggs. She was also pretty good at shooting things thanks to growing up with and bunch of hunters. Fresh kills made the best meals, they always said. So naturally she was the perfect choice for... whatever nonsense she had gotten herself in to. Wearing an apron printed with cute little geese and having a bag full of more cooking supplies than actual personal items, when she arrived by foot at the old warehouses, she looked incredibly out of place. "...I... did I get the directions right?" she glanced down at the slip of paper in her hands. -04:09 Feb 09
Paul Ascott: Looking up from his phone, Paul flashes a rueful, almost apologetic smile at the new arrival. Poor girl doesn't know what she's in for, after all. "You might have done, if I could just see your warrant card quickly." -04:12 Feb 09
Penny Thistlewhitt: "Of course!" The slip of paper disappeared in to her pocket, and then Penny was fumbling about looking for her warrent. Several odd items ended up getting pulled out. Zipbags of herbs, corkscrews, twine, a partially chewed piece of beef jerky, and finally the now questionably sticky warrent card. Penny handed it over and then wiped her sticky hands on her apron. -04:14 Feb 09
Paul Ascott: Peering down at the card, and trying not to be too drawn in by the wards already active on it, Paul nods. "Good stuff. Thistlewitt, isn't it? I'm Paul. I'll be taking the seminar today." He motions with his head towards the rickety warehouse he's leaning against. "It's nicer on the inside, honest. The Laundry might be staffed by cheapskates, but even HR isn't that evil." -04:17 Feb 09
Penny Thistlewhitt: "Good, evil, everyone has to eat, yes?" she commented with enthusiam. Penny shuffled her bag from one hand to the other, shifting on her feet in impatient excitement. "I can't wait for this job. This is the best job I have ever been offer! ...Actually the pay is the worst, but the location- ....Actually the location seems to be just as dire. But the experiences will be-" Penny paused at that too. When she thought about it, this actually seemed like a pretty shitty job offer, the only reason she accepted it was because no one else would hire her. "Well- It's a job." -04:21 Feb 09
Paul Ascott: Paul raises an eyebrow. "Soooo... you actually applied for this job? Voluntarily?" -04:26 Feb 09
[(Timeout) Alexia McAllister got too distracted for their own good...] -04:33 Feb 09
Penny Thistlewhitt: Penny looked a bit sheepish. "I may have sent out mass quantities of resumes to every possible place on the planet that was currently hiring. ...Oh, but don't think I won't take this job seriously and give it my all!" She nodded, quickly. -04:33 Feb 09
Paul Ascott: Paul blinks. "Huh. Can't remember the last time I met an actual volunteer. Either way, looks like you're the first here. Should have some others along soon enough, though." -04:36 Feb 09
[Alexia McAllister enters.] -04:36 Feb 09
[Alexia McAllister enters.] -04:39 Feb 09[/BCOLOR]
[(Logout) Alexia McAllister melts away.] -((04:40 Feb 09))
[BCOLOR=#000000][Alexia McAllister enters.] -04:41 Feb 09
Alexia McAllister: Alexia made her way up to the two people standing outside of the rickety building. Looking back and forth she tried to figure out if this was the place she was supposed to be at "This cant be the place... can it?" Alexia commented as she looked down at her slip of paper. -04:42 Feb 09
Paul Ascott: As if on cue, another figure stepped into the grim industrial estate. Paul waves an arm at her. "Speaking of which, here's one now." -04:45 Feb 09
Alexia McAllister: Looking up Alexia stared at him "So, I take it I am where I am supposed to be? Well, since there isn't much of anything else.. I take it I am." -04:46 Feb 09
Penny Thistlewhitt: Penny waved a hand brightly. At least she wasn't going to be the only new recruit today. Being the lone newbie was always so awkward. -04:46 Feb 09
Paul Ascott: Paul nods. "Not exactly Soho, no. If I could see your warrant card?" -04:47 Feb 09
Alexia McAllister: Holding out the card she gave it to the man somewhat happy to be rid of it "So.. what exactly... is this building?" -04:48 Feb 09
Paul Ascott: After a second Paul returns the card, tapping a box on his phone screen marked 'McAllister - R&D'. He flashes a brief, hollow smile at the question. "It's a warehouse, innit? Your new company owns it. Amazing the price you can get for a building where strange shit has gone down, even in London." -04:50 Feb 09
Alexia McAllister: Taking a few steps she walked up to one of the walls and put a hand on it. "Yeah, I bet.. What happened in here? I bet it was an interesting scene. Was it murder?" Alexia prodded. -04:52 Feb 09
Paul Ascott: Paul shrugs. "Classified. That's one thing you'll want to learn fast. Folks at the Laundry don't like questions." -04:54 Feb 09
Penny Thistlewhitt: "Strange shit? Murder?" Penny repeated, now looking a little dubious and worried. She was PRETTY sure all her applications were sent for kitchen duties. No one said anything about strangeness and murders. Who the hell just hired her! "What ISN'T classified?" -04:55 Feb 09
Alexia McAllister: Giving a glance over at the other girl Alexia just smiled "I bet... are we expecting others...? I don't really like dealing with large groups of people." Alexia mumbled out. -04:55 Feb 09
Paul Ascott: "All depends on your department," Paul says in answer to Penny's question. "As for how many we're expecting, depends. We've got several seminars for new recruits running. We'll give it another minute then head inside." -04:57 Feb 09
[Alexia McAllister ] -04:59 Feb 09
Alexia McAllister: Going over and sitting against the edge of the warehouse Alexia let her head rest back "Atleast it isn't raining." -05:00 Feb 09
Paul Ascott: "Don't jinx it." -05:01 Feb 09
Penny Thistlewhitt: "Would anyone like a cookie while we wait?" she said, digging around in her pockets until she pulled out a small paperbag filled with giner snaps. "They are my super special charm the new bosses cookies!" -05:04 Feb 09
[Alexia McAllister ] -05:06 Feb 09
Alexia McAllister: Blinking at the call for cookies Alexia was the first one over. "Oh, yes please... I have an issue with sweets." Alexia let known. "Don't judge." -05:06 Feb 09
Paul Ascott: Paul blinks again. This level of enthusiasm was... unusual for the job. No doubt it'll be gone within a week, though. "I'm alright, thanks." Checking his watch, he sighs and pushes himself away from the warehouse wall. "Alright, it's getting cold. Let's head on in. Any late arrivals will have to find their own way, I guess." -05:07 Feb 09
[(Timeout) Alexia McAllister has been fed to the plot bunnies for failure to participate] -05:08 Feb 09
Paul Ascott: Moving over to the doors, Paul starts to haul them open before glancing over at the recruits. "Have your warrant cards at the ready. Security here is kinda stiff." -05:08 Feb 09
Penny Thistlewhitt: Her new coworker got an extra cookie before Penny was quickly stuffing the bag of cookies back in to her pockets and fumbling for her warrent card again. She was at his heels, bag in hand and sticky card held up above her head! "Got it! Ready, sir!" -05:10 Feb 09
Alexia McAllister: Taking the two cookies and putting them away in one of her pockets Alexia moved in behind them both. Looking at the girl who gave her the cookies Alexia could only smile. Moving her hands down she took her card out once more and had in in hand. -05:11 Feb 09
Paul Ascott: Pulling the doors and stepping inside, Paul marches into the dreary warehouse interior like he's done it a thousand times before. Which, to be fair, it feels like he has. His warrant card is up and at the ready as a figure lurches out of the gloom. It's dressed in a security guard's uniform and shaped roughly like a man, but something about the grey texture of it's skin and the empty, gazing eyes suggest it might be otherwise. -05:13 Feb 09
Paul Ascott: As does the hole in the side of its head. -05:13 Feb 09
Paul Ascott: Brandishing the card, Paul strides past the security guard-thing. "Morning, Pete. These two are with me." -05:14 Feb 09[/BCOLOR]
[(Logout) Alexia McAllister is off to feed the plot bunnies.] -((05:14 Feb 09))
[BCOLOR=#000000][Alexia McAllister ] -05:16 Feb 09
Alexia McAllister: Walking behind the man Alexia couldn't help but stare. Looking at the creature she couldn't help but be attracted to it. Biting her lip she moved past holding the card out. "Intrigueing man." -05:17 Feb 09
Penny Thistlewhitt: Penny's mouth went gapping open. Kinda like that hole in the guy's head. She held up her card to make sure it was seeable and now was even closer on the new boss-guy's heels. What the hell kind of place did she get hired at! For real! -05:18 Feb 09
Paul Ascott: Without breaking stride or looking around, Paul tugs open another door leading to a flight of stairs that descend down below the warehouse. "That's Pete. Used to work in Purchasing, before his accident." -05:19 Feb 09
Paul Ascott: He takes the steps two at a time as he talks. "Now he's one of the Laundry's RHEs. Don't call them zombies. They hate that." -05:20 Feb 09
Alexia McAllister: Accident? Is THAT what people did to other people in here?! Blinking twice Alexia smiled slightly "Thats... awful. But, I guess hes doing his job now though- Zombies? But sentient? So technicly an undead construct?" -05:20 Feb 09
Paul Ascott: "Not exactly. Residual Human Resources stuck an entity in his head that basically rides him about like a meat-puppet." Paul shrugs at the bottom of the stairs. "Not like he was using his body anymore." -05:22 Feb 09
Alexia McAllister: Stopping in her tracks Alexia realized what the man actually said "Wait, actual...." was all she said before trailing off. Shaking her head she thought about trying to leave but something screaming in her head to continue. "What is going on here? Zombies...? Like.." -05:22 Feb 09
Penny Thistlewhitt: "...If I have to cook up brains, I am going to have to rework some of my recipes." Penny muttered, her eyes still a bit wide. -05:24 Feb 09
Paul Ascott: "Don't think that's Catering's department, so I wouldn't worry." Paul heaves open another heavy, steel-reinforced door, leading onto a long, non-descript corridor. "Anyway, welcome to the Peckham Training Facility. We're in Seminar Room 2. This way." -05:26 Feb 09
Paul Ascott: Without another word, he strides out into the corridor, hands in his pockets. -05:26 Feb 09
[(Timeout) Alexia McAllister has timed out.] -05:27 Feb 09
Paul Ascott: The place smells of air freshners that are desperately trying to hold back the damp. The walls are peeling plasterboard. Each of the doors has a red lightbulb above them, and most of them are on. -05:27 Feb 09
Alexia McAllister: Looking around the inside of the corridor she couldn't help but feel a sense of worthlessness "So, what is the value of a human life if their walls are like this?" was all the girl could manage to say about it. -05:28 Feb 09
[(Timeout) Alexia McAllister has timed out.] -05:32 Feb 09
Penny Thistlewhitt: Penny was now trying to think of all the paperwork she signed, and hope she hadn't unwittingly skimmed over fine print that would allow the copmany to implany HER with... what did he call it? An entity? Her nose twitched at the smells. Well. As long as the kitchens were clean, she could deal with this! -05:34 Feb 09
Paul Ascott: Paul chuckles. "I can assure you that Health and Safety is a very serious matter here at the Laundry. Which is why I should stress not to open any doors with the lights on. Might be you'll get yelled at... or might be the ward on it will cook you alive." -05:35 Feb 09
Paul Ascott: He leads the pair down and round the corner to the end of the corridor, finally stopping outside yet another non-descript door. This one without an active red light. "Here we go." -05:36 Feb 09
Alexia McAllister: Looking around at all the doors Alexia could only Nods "This all is alot like Men in Black.". Following behind him she walked up to the door and opened it "I really feel like this is Men in Black." -05:37 Feb 09
Paul Ascott: The room inside is about as bland and non-descript as the corridor it leads onto. White plasterboard, stained in places, with several chairs already arrayed around it. A table is stuck into one of the corners, with a heavy steel coffee container stacked atop it alongside cups. -05:37 Feb 09
Paul Ascott: Paul shakes his head again. "Not nearly so exciting, trust me. Plus we don't dress as nicely." He wanders over to the chair at the centre of the room and sticks his bag down next to it. "Help yourself to the coffee. It's awful, but free." -05:38 Feb 09
Alexia McAllister: Moving into the room she sat down in one of the chairs "Still... it feels like Men in Black.". At the word of Coffe she just sighed "No tea? To expensive?" -05:39 Feb 09
Paul Ascott: Paul looks up from rummaging through his bag. "There should be some bags under the table. I'll ask the guys here to bring along some hot water." -05:41 Feb 09
Paul Ascott: He smiles humourlessly. "So they'll be along in an hour, if we're lucky." -05:41 Feb 09
Penny Thistlewhitt: "Coffee!" Penny was at the table in a second, dropping her bag as she poured herself a cup. Immediately she was spitting black coffee out everywhere. "Oh sweet heavens... Oh no. No. I can fix this." What horrible mess was this. Penny dropped to her knees to dig around in her bag. Syrups and creamers. Perfect! -05:42 Feb 09
Alexia McAllister: Turning to go to the table Alexia stopped dead in her tracks. Watching the vents unfolding infront of her the girl was speechless. There was coffee everywhere and the girl didn't seem to care what so ever. "I... I need a tea bag while you are down there." -05:43 Feb 09
Penny Thistlewhitt: "I... I will give you some of MY tea." Penny said, after pulling out the company provided packages. They looked like pieces of bark and bits of dirt dug up from a yard. It certainly didn't SMELL like tea. "Hot water is trickier, I didn't even THINK to bring a kettle! Silly me!" -05:46 Feb 09
Paul Ascott: Paul waves his phone at the pair. "Not to worry, they'll bring some in their own sweet time. In the mean time, the coffee will hopefully be a stop-gap. Now, get yourselves fixed up and grab a seat." -05:47 Feb 09
Alexia McAllister: Right eye twitching slighly Alex brought herself to smile "Yes, silly you.". Backing away slowly Alexia went and returned to her seat. -05:48 Feb 09
Penny Thistlewhitt: Penny at least made her cup of coffee drinkable and after a quick wiping up the mess she spat all over the place, she dashed over to a seat and plopped herself in it. "Ready, sir!" -05:54 Feb 09
Paul Ascott: With a sigh, Paul tugs several files from his bag before re-seating himself. He flashes a flimsy attempt at a cheery smile as he opens them. "Alright. Well, thank you both for coming. I'm Paul from Training Division, and I'll be getting you guys orientated for working at the Laundry. Let's start with introductions." He points over at Alexia. -05:56 Feb 09
Alexia McAllister: Leaning back in her seat she watched as the man spoke. Introductions... she didn't like introducing herself. Rolling her eyes Alexia sighed "Alexia, I uh... Occult Forensics." she blurted out suddenly. -06:00 Feb 09
Paul Ascott: "Cool. So you're gonna be one of Angleton's bods." He grins slightly. "Good luck. And now..." His hand swings across to point at Penny. -06:01 Feb 09
Penny Thistlewhitt: Penny stood up, gesturing at herself with a hand. "Penny Thistlewhitt! I am here for Catering, and let me just say not only can I cook anything - and I do mean ANYTHING - I can also kill and butcher it myself! Because if you want to eat good fresh food, your ass better be able to kill it!" She flashed a big toothy grin. "I also like butterflies and walks on the beach." -06:04 Feb 09
Paul Ascott: "Excellent. Maybe you can single-handedly save the clusterfuck that is Catering, then." With another attempt at a smile, Paul opens another file. "Alright, so welcome to Laundry Induction Course LIC101. Since there's only two of you I don't think an ice-breaker's really necessary, so let's move ourselves on to the next part. Either of you know much about the agency you'll be working for?" -06:07 Feb 09
Alexia McAllister: Putting her hands on the table Alexia shook her head. She knew very little about any of it. "Very little... I know it has to do with the occult and forensics." Alexia said and soon realized how stupid it sounds. "Wow..." Was all she could manage to bring herself to say after that. -06:09 Feb 09
Penny Thistlewhitt: "I know that you should really read the fine print before you go signing weird job contracts." Penny said with her hand raised in the air. -06:11 Feb 09
Paul Ascott: "You..." he points to Penny, "...are bang on the money, and you..." he turns to Alexia, "...aren't wrong? I guess? To cut a long story short, you're both now employees of the oldest and most secret intelligence service in the UK. We call it the Laundry." -06:12 Feb 09
Paul Ascott: "MI5 handles internal security, MI6 tackles international shenanigans, which leaves us with the weirdest job. We're in place to handle what the public would call the 'supernatural'." -06:13 Feb 09
Paul Ascott: "Our job is to keep the people safe but more importantly, to keep them in the dark. Bad enough you have folks freaking out about terrorists and immigration crises. Imagine what'd happen if they found out just how... pourous the universe actually is." -06:15 Feb 09
Paul Ascott: "So, any questions?" -06:15 Feb 09
Penny Thistlewhitt: Penny raised her hand again. -06:16 Feb 09
Paul Ascott: "Fire away." -06:17 Feb 09
Penny Thistlewhitt: "What do Not-Zombies eat, and am I going to get to learn how to cook with supernatural ingredients?" This was batshit crazy, but this was a pretty serious question. -06:18 Feb 09
Alexia McAllister: Pourous.... the word made Alexia think about what exactly she was getting herself into. Taking a deep breath her face began to change to a shade of red as she thought of dealing with all the different people. Unable to accept that fact she to raised her hand. -06:19 Feb 09
Paul Ascott: Paul shakes his head. "Like I said earlier, not your problem. Not anymore at least: Catering was in a lot of internal disputes over this issue for a while. But general policy now? If you can't stick a fork in it? Not Catering's problem." -06:20 Feb 09
Paul Ascott: "So you won't have to worry about feeding the RHEs or the other shit they've got down in the Stables. Not your job." -06:20 Feb 09
Paul Ascott: He nods to Alexia. "You don't need to raise your hand or anything, by the way. You got a question, just fire away." -06:27 Feb 09
[Alexia McAllister ] -06:27 Feb 09
Alexia McAllister: Nodding slowly Alexia smiled "So, about the other people I will be dealing with. Despite what I may seem like.. I am far from a people person. How many people do I expect to deal with and will I be held accountable for verbal assaults on said individuals?" -06:29 Feb 09
Paul Ascott: Paul's smile actually seems genuine this time. "You're over in R&D, so I wouldn't worry. They're all computer people, not people people. Most folks are all about their work over in that neck of the woods, so if you just wanna keep your head down and do the job, that won't be an issue." -06:30 Feb 09
Alexia McAllister: For the first time so far Alexia seemed actually happy "Oh, that sounds really nice. So... whats the death rate there?" She asked next. -06:32 Feb 09
Penny Thistlewhitt: Penny blinked, casting Alexia a wide-eyed look. She mouthed, death rate? -06:33 Feb 09
Paul Ascott: Paul stammers for a moment, before responding with, "Uhh... honestly not sure. They run a pretty tight ship over there, though, and if you're in Occult Forensics you'll be dealing with the weird shit after the fact." -06:33 Feb 09
Alexia McAllister: Considering what he said Alexia shrugged "Alright, I do well with odd things. I personally enjoy weird things more than normal stuff.". Moving a hand down she rummaged around in a pocket before taking part of the cookies out. -06:36 Feb 09
Paul Ascott: "...cool. So. Moving on, let me go over Laundry history a bit, since that's next on the agenda. This organisation in its current incarnation dates back to the Second World War." -06:39 Feb 09
Paul Ascott: "You'll probably know that all manner of espionage and spy operations went on during the conflict, but you might now know just how into the occult the Nazis were. The Thule-Gesellschaft, and all that. They were experimenting with all manner of bad shit. We were established to stop them." -06:40 Feb 09
Paul Ascott: "After the fall of the Third Reich, our wartime structure got re-shuffled and established as one of the three intelligence services of the UK. Since then, we've--" -06:42 Feb 09
♦ Someone knocks on the seminar room door heavily. The sound resonates through the cramped room. -Paul Ascott 06:43 Feb 09
Paul Ascott: Blinking, Paul glances at his watch. "Fuck me, they were fast with that hot water." He looks up at Alexia and Penny. "Could one of you...?" -06:43 Feb 09
Alexia McAllister: Startled Alexia looked up at the door. Standing up she made her way over to the door. Opening it up she looked at the thing holding the hot water. -06:44 Feb 09
♦ A man's standing on the other side of the door, head down and a kettle in one of his hands. -Paul Ascott 06:45 Feb 09
Alexia McAllister: Moving her hand she took the kettle before turning and walking back into the room. "Thank you." Alexia called back before grabbing a cup and sitting back down. "Finally... Tea." -06:46 Feb 09
♦ As Alexia re-takes her seat, she feels a hand clamp down on her shoulder. The figure at the door has come striding into the room. The grip is vice-like, fingers icy-cold. -Paul Ascott 06:47 Feb 09
Paul Ascott: "Hey, wait-- Who the fuck's this supposed to be?" Paul's rising from his chair, frowning. -06:48 Feb 09
[Alexia McAllister ] -06:48 Feb 09
Alexia McAllister: Freezing solid Alexia didnt and couldn't move. The feeling of cold on her shoulders made her shiver "Its cold... and if you dont want it to get really hot you will let me go you!" Alexia said before beginning to turn like she was going to douse the man witht he hot water. -06:49 Feb 09
Penny Thistlewhitt: Penny raised a finger to speak... and then dropped it again. Nope, she'd just like the boss-guy handle this one! -06:50 Feb 09
[(Timeout) Alexia McAllister was sacrificed to the roleplay gods by a tribe of wild newbies.] -06:52 Feb 09
♦ As Alexia swings about, she finally catches sight of the figure's face. Ashen, with strange markings ringing his forehead. But its his eyes that demand notice. -Paul Ascott 06:52 Feb 09
♦ They're alive with movement; wriggling, writhing things moving about just below their surfaces. -Paul Ascott 06:52 Feb 09
♦ The grip tightens, fingers biting into her flesh. -Paul Ascott 06:53 Feb 09
Alexia McAllister: Catching the things eyes Alexia stopped immediately. A lightning bolt of fear shot up her spine as she tried to yank herself out of the creatures grasp "What is that! Get it away from me!" She cried before it began to dig its fingers into her. Letting out a scream she tried to claw at the things hand to get out of its grip. -06:55 Feb 09
Paul Ascott: Realisation dawns in Paul. Followed immediately by blind panic. "That's not one of ours, whatever the fuck he is! Shit--" The seminar tutor scrambles for his bag. -06:57 Feb 09
♦ His other hand free from the kettle, the figure grabs Alexiawith both arms. -Paul Ascott 06:57 Feb 09
Penny Thistlewhitt: "He's not what?!" Penny jumped on to her chair and with a squeal she screamed. "DUCK!" SPLISH! Her cup of terrible hot coffee went flying at the guy's head! -06:59 Feb 09
Alexia McAllister: Screaming Alexia tried to flail about to get out of its grip. Unable to move she felt herself get grabbed again. "No! Help me! Kill this thing!" She screamed as she tried to grab at the kettle once more. A second later she blinked and moved her head as coffee flew over and hit the creature. -07:00 Feb 09
♦ The cup bounces off the figure's head, and his face is doused with boiling coffee. Alexia can see his skin blistering as he twists his head about to face Penny. -Paul Ascott 07:00 Feb 09
Penny Thistlewhitt: "...Oh no." Penny face fell. Oh no, oh no. Oh no. Eyes going wider, she fumbled through all her pockets again until she whipped a knife out of her back pocket. A beautiful, stainless steel, perfectly balanced butcher's knife. The prized piece of her collection and KINF OF a bitch to get through customs. "Uhm...! Unhand that woman!" -07:02 Feb 09
Paul Ascott: Paul's torn through his bag without any luck in finding what he's after. Cursing, he flings the bag aside. "--Fuck!" -07:03 Feb 09
Alexia McAllister: Staring at the knife in the girls hand Alexia tried flailing about before kicking the seat out form under her. Now hanging she tried flinging her torso back and forth before kicking forward and then backwards as hard as she could hoping to hit the creatures family jewels. -07:04 Feb 09
♦ The hulking man who's just interrupted the seminar flings Alexia aside as he lumbers towards Penny... -Paul Ascott 07:04 Feb 09
Penny Thistlewhitt: "Okay, cool, you listen to-" she swallowed "reason! Now you stop... doing whateveryou'redoingandjuststoprightthere!" To her credit she didn't flee from standing on her chair. She swiped her knife a bit. "I know how to fillet a fish in under a minute, just so you know!" -07:07 Feb 09
Alexia McAllister: Landing against the edge of the small room Alexia groans as she tries to move her arms. She felt like the creature had broken both of her shoulder blades "Ahh... I think it broke my shoulder blade or something.." Alexia cried out as she stayed away from the creature. "What is that thing?!" -07:08 Feb 09
Paul Ascott: Paul rushes forwards, staying low as he slams into the figure's legs and wraps his arms around them. The momentum carries the pair across the room and into a stack of cheap office chairs. "Nevermind that! Fucking get him!" -07:10 Feb 09
Alexia McAllister: Watching Paul fly across the room and charge into the creature was... rather attractive. Shaking her head Alexia leaned foward and grabbed the kettle. Ripping the handle off the stepped on the end of it to flatten it before running over and trying to jam the pointy end into the creatures ear. -07:12 Feb 09
[(Timeout) Alexia McAllister got too distracted for their own good...] -07:17 Feb 09
♦ The thing has manouvered about and has Paul in a headlock as Alexia slams the kettle against the side of his head, knocking him sideways. -Paul Ascott 07:17 Feb 09
Paul Ascott: "--Fuck!" -07:18 Feb 09
Penny Thistlewhitt: "This is NOT how I imagined my first day at work!" squealed Penny. She jumped from chair to chair until she was close enough to leap on to the dog pile as well, knife at the ready. Which wasn't so easy when you were trying not to accidentally stab someone you weren't supposed to! "I'M SORRY! THIS ISN'T PERSONAL!" She brought the knife down hard at the guy's back, hoping to hit spine. The spine was always a quick bet to killing your prey. -07:20 Feb 09
♦ The thing's skin is almost spongey as Penny drives the blade into it. Immediately he goes limp, flopping onto the floor like the gods just flipped the switch on him. -Paul Ascott 07:23 Feb 09
Paul Ascott: Choking and spluttering, Paul lurches up into a sitting position as he massages his throat. Deep red hand-prints still linger on it. "...everyone okay?" -07:23 Feb 09
Alexia McAllister: Recoiling from strikeing the creature Alexia moved the kettle around and tried to bring it down on its head. Moving with so much force she fell forward and straight onto the creature limp on the floor. -07:23 Feb 09[/BCOLOR]
[BCOLOR=#000000]♦ The thing's eyes are still moving. Still wriggling. Alexia can see tiny, transluscent worms bursting out from his irises. -Paul Ascott 07:24 Feb 09
[BCOLOR=#000000]Alexia McAllister: Letting out a scream she burst to the other side of the room with a speed that surprised even her. "Its not dead! Its eyes are.. worms!" She cried again as she kept in the corner of the room. -07:25 Feb 09
Paul Ascott: Paul scrambles back from the body on his hands and knees. "Keep back from it! That's got something riding it, and it's not ours!" -07:26 Feb 09
Alexia McAllister: Looking around she suddenly looked at the door before going to open it "Why are we still in here?! Couldn't we have just locked it in here and left it to live out whatever it is?" Alexia asked. -07:28 Feb 09
Penny Thistlewhitt: "Whoa, that's pretty gross!" Penny jumped back several paces too because, EW. And WHAT? And crap. She left her knife sticking in it! Penny grabbed one of the chairs and held it up at the ready. "You really should have issued us guns when we walked in the doors!" -07:29 Feb 09
Paul Ascott: "You're not cleared for firearms." Paul blinks, apparently baffled by the rote answer that just came out of his mouth. Shaking his head to clear and coughing again, he hauls himself to his feet. "Alright, we need to leave. Whatever the hell's going on it's a job for the Cleaners, not us." -07:31 Feb 09
Penny Thistlewhitt: "Not without my knife!" she exclaimed. Which was crazy, she knew, but she payed a FORTUNE for that thing, she wasn't leaving it in a questionably dead body to get tossed out or jacked by someone who wouldn't appreciate it. -07:33 Feb 09
Alexia McAllister: Slipping out of the door without having to be told twice Alexia sat down against the outside corridores walls. Blood had begun to show through her top where the creature had punctured her skin. "I think the adrenalins wearing off..." Alexia sighed as she winced in pain. -07:33 Feb 09
Paul Ascott: "Stay away from that body!" Paul grabs Penny by the arm and shoves her towards the door. "That fucking thing's leaking, you don't want to be anywhere near it." As he shoves Penny out the door, he ushers Alexia through too. "We'll get you checked over when we're out of here, don't worry." -07:34 Feb 09
Alexia McAllister: Being pushed out the door made Alexia grunt in pain. She knew she had to get moving but she found herself slowing down considerably. Shaking her head she got herself together when she finally began to realize what just happened. "Oh my god I could have just died!" -07:37 Feb 09
Penny Thistlewhitt: Penny was really starting to question the wisdom of all those resumes. "My knife.." she pouted with a scowl. She'd get that back later. She'd raise hell through the whole building if she had to. "You guys really need to work on your training seminars." -07:38 Feb 09
Paul Ascott: Though he's breathing heavily, Paul fixes Alexia with the most serious look he can muster. "That's the adrenaline wearing off and the panic setting in. Fight it until we're out of here, you're gonna need your wits about you. As for our seminars... this shit does not normally happen in our seminars." -07:39 Feb 09
Paul Ascott: Paul slams the door shut and locks it. "I aim for mediocrity and slight social awkwardness with my seminars, not fucking proxy RHEs trying to choke people to death." -07:39 Feb 09
Alexia McAllister: Shaking her head "No! No! That was amazing!" Alexia shouted through the pain. "That made me feel so alive.. Sorry.." Alexia said before blushing heavily. The more... darker parts of her mind were screaming to come out. Putting on a smile she began to hum as the door shut behind them. -07:41 Feb 09
Paul Ascott: Paul stares blankly. "...you're actually fucking terrifying, love." -07:41 Feb 09
Penny Thistlewhitt: "...So this kind of thing doesn't usually happen in the kitchens, right?" she just cast that bewildered look at Alexia again. Paul was right. She WAS kind of scary! -07:45 Feb 09
Paul Ascott: "Wouldn't know. The kitchens are Catering's closely guarded secret." Paul tugs his phone out from his jacket, glances down at it then grimaces. "Fucking signal's jammed. Make for the exit, sharpish." -07:46 Feb 09
Paul Ascott: Health and Safety had, of course, constructed a meticulous brief on what to do in emergency situations. -07:47 Feb 09
Paul Ascott: And Paul had, of course, not bothered to read it. So he was going for the old 'run like hell' approach and seeing how that worked out. -07:47 Feb 09
Alexia McAllister: Frowning at Pauls comment Alexia sighed "Am I really?" was all she could say before she looked around for the direction to the exit "Which way would that be?" Alexia asked. -07:48 Feb 09
Paul Ascott: "Back the way we came seems the safest bet." Paul starts off down the hall, muttering, "where the fuck is everyone?" -07:53 Feb 09
Penny Thistlewhitt: "I imagine they could be not-zombie dinner if they were hit before we were." Penny was still despondant over the fact her stuff was left behind. Now all she had was what was in her pockets. That would only get them so far if the company was under siege. She wasn't exactly trained for culinary combat! -07:55 Feb 09
Alexia McAllister: Looking around Alexia began to wonder the same thing "Is this place secure? I mean... like... erm... nevermind I don't really want to know." Alexia muttered as she tried to keep a handle on everything going on. -07:56 Feb 09
Paul Ascott: "Secure? Yeah. Entrances warded, RHEs stationed at the exits, basilisk cams in operation--" His voice cuts off as he rounds the corner, eyes contorting at the sight before him. -07:57 Feb 09
♦ The white plasterboard walls of the hallway are now splattered with crimson, slumped figures piled about thirty metres from where Paul, Alexia and Penny stand. More ashen figures, their heads wreathed with symbols, their eyes glowing, are dragging other corpses from the offices and dumping them. -Paul Ascott 07:59 Feb 09
♦ Their heads slide up as one, locked onto the three people at the end of the corridor. -Paul Ascott 07:59 Feb 09
Penny Thistlewhitt: "Oh god. I'm a psychic chef!" she hissed over at Paul, raising her hands up to her head in complete and utter horror. This was bad. This was SUPER BAD! -08:00 Feb 09
Paul Ascott: "...oh fuck me," Paul says quietly. -08:00 Feb 09
Alexia McAllister: Staring straight into the mass of creatures infront of her Alexia began to look around at the bodies. "Anything we can use? Or like uhm.. do we just run through them using the dead bodies as shields.." Alexia stammered as she looked around. -08:02 Feb 09
♦ Roughly half a dozen of the man-things begin stomping down the hall towards the trio. -Paul Ascott 08:04 Feb 09
Paul Ascott: Paul twists about and ushers his two seminar members backwards. "Fuck that. We're heading down. Back entrance. Move!" -08:04 Feb 09
Alexia McAllister: Looking behind her Alexia seemed to hesitate for a second before the stomping got louder. Eyes going wide she began to run towards the other end of the hallway. "Where are they coming from and why us!" -08:05 Feb 09
Penny Thistlewhitt: "FREE COOKIES!" Her snack of special ginger snaps went flying at the shambling bodies before Penny turned around and ran as instructed! -08:05 Feb 09
Paul Ascott: "No idea!" Paul yells as he sprints after Alexia, "but I'm not sticking around to find out! We gotta get clear of the facility before the countermeasures go active!" -08:07 Feb 09
Alexia McAllister: Countermeasures?! The word put the fear of some deity into the woman as Alexia began to run faster than she ever had in her life. She outpaced Paul and ended up at the end of the hallway before she realized she had no idea where to go next. -08:08 Feb 09
♦ The things in the hallway move fast, for lurching automatons. They're bearing down on the trio as Paul wrenches open another door. -Paul Ascott 08:09 Feb 09
Paul Ascott: Another gloomy stairwell leading downwards beckons them, as Paul cries, "Move it! Go!" -08:09 Feb 09
Penny Thistlewhitt: Hands flailing over her head, Penny went running down the stairs, nearly tripping down them in the process. Thank god for the stair railing to grab on it. -08:10 Feb 09
Alexia McAllister: Looking behind her she turned and sprinted into the door. Not caring where it went she began taking the steps two at a time being careful not to trip."I am not dressed for this!" She groaned as she felt her skirt rip. -08:11 Feb 09
Paul Ascott: Paul wrenches the door shut behind him and follows the pair down the stairs. "This is why Laundry folks don't dress up! Your shit inevitably gets ruined by this sort of crap!" -08:12 Feb 09
Alexia McAllister: Reaching down Alexia ripped the skirt the rest of the way up her side before continuing down the stairwell "Yeah... well whats the point of wearing clothes if they just get ripped." -08:14 Feb 09
Paul Ascott: Paul lands at the bottom of the stairs, panting heavily. "Or, y'know, they get stained to fuck. Blood, ichor, substances we've not got names for yet, all that good stuff. You alright, Penny?" -08:16 Feb 09
Penny Thistlewhitt: "Kind of thinking it's going to cost me a fortune on work friendly outfits and cleaning bills, and that is seriously going to cut in to my food budget!" she gasped out, leaning against the wall at the bottom of the stairs trying to catch her breath. -08:18 Feb 09
Alexia McAllister: Slumping down Alexia took deep breaths and put her hands over her head as the red on her shirt continued to deepen. "I need something to stop this bleeding..." Alexia mumbled out as she shook her head to get her head clear again. -08:19 Feb 09
Paul Ascott: "Just avoid situations like this in the future, and you'll be fine." Paul reaches into his bag and tugs out his crumpled spare shirt, throwing it over to Alexia. "Use that. It's only from Primark, don't worry about staining it." -08:21 Feb 09
Paul Ascott: He lets out a breath before nodding to the door in front of them. "Alright, this facility's basement doubles as a storage facility of some kind for Acquisitions. Kind of an off-flow site or something. The back entrance is just past it." -08:22 Feb 09
Alexia McAllister: Turning around and making sure her back was towards them Alexia took her dirty shirt off before trying to get all the blood on her skin off. Seeing the wounds the creature dug into her made her shiver. Looking away she took a deep breath "What are the chances... I can get a an infection." Alexia asked before she cleaned herself up using her own shirt. Now as clean as she could be she put Pauls shirt on. -08:23 Feb 09
Paul Ascott: Paul chuckles darkly. "Not to worry, love, this isn't the walking dead. Those things are animated by the entities riding them, not some virus or any malarky." -08:24 Feb 09
Paul Ascott: He thinks for a moment. "Though... you'll still probably want to get those cuts checked. That was basically a corpse that was trying to Vulcan death-grip you." -08:25 Feb 09
Alexia McAllister: Looking down at her bloody shirt Alexia kept ahold of it. Looking down at her feet she realized she left her heels back in the office. "I hope there isn't.. uhm.. I am barefoot." Alexia made it known. -08:31 Feb 09
Paul Ascott: "Prrrrrrobably not your wisest move. Though I'm told heels are a bitch to run in." -08:32 Feb 09
Penny Thistlewhitt: "Always gotta wash proper when handling dead meat." commented Penny. Then she glanced down at Alexia's barefeet and shrugged her shoulders. Spare shoes wouldn't have fit in her pockets! -08:33 Feb 09
♦ Without warning, the power cuts out. The stairwell is suddenly drenched in darkness. -Paul Ascott 08:33 Feb 09
♦ A second or so later its illuminated again by dim-red warning lights. -Paul Ascott 08:33 Feb 09
♦ And somewhere above them, something screeches. -Paul Ascott 08:34 Feb 09
♦ It's a sound that no human vocal chords could hope to produce. -Paul Ascott 08:34 Feb 09
Alexia McAllister: Looking around Alexia felt her heart drop. It was pitch black and she couldn't see her own hands infront of her. Looking up suddenly as the lights come back on a screech made her jump in her skin. Running to the door she tried to open it. -08:34 Feb 09
Paul Ascott: Paul feels his stomach drop. "...that'll be the countermeasure coming online." -08:35 Feb 09
Penny Thistlewhitt: Penny slapped all of her pockets until there was a jangling on keys. Out came her keyring, and the tiny little flashlight attached to it. "Okay! Have I mentioned this is the worst first day of work I have ever had? Because I set fire to a building once, and I thought THAT was a bad first day!" -08:39 Feb 09
Paul Ascott: "Weeeeeeeeelcome to the Laundry. I'll tell you about my first day if we survive." Above them, another inhuman screech echoes through the stairwell, and the door they came through bursts open. -08:40 Feb 09
[Alexia McAllister ] -08:41 Feb 09
♦ The door clatters down to the bottom of the steps, followed quickly by the pulverised corpse of one of the man-things that had been chasing them. -Paul Ascott 08:42 Feb 09
Alexia McAllister: Shaking her head Alexia took a deep breath. The nosies began to shake up her head before she stopped all together. "We need to move.." Alexia said with a blank voice. -08:42 Feb 09
♦ Something massive begins to bubble into the stairwell above. In the dim light it can barely be seen. A mass of writhing, flailing tentacles and eyes. -Paul Ascott 08:43 Feb 09
Paul Ascott: "Lovely. They've got a Shoggoth on clean-up. Run!" -08:44 Feb 09
Paul Ascott: Paul slams himself against the door, jarring it open and motioning for the two to get inside. The room ahead is large and airy, high-ceilings with rows of shelving. -08:45 Feb 09
Paul Ascott: The shelves are stacked high with marked wooden and steel crates, each of them stamped 'ACQUISITIONS'. -08:45 Feb 09
Alexia McAllister: Stopping and looking up Alexia just froze. Closing her eyes she began to count in her own head. "1.... 2.... 3...." She continued before opening her eyes with a smile. Turning she ran into the room and began looking at the shelves. "Anything we can use? I did really good in chemistry.. I swear!" -08:46 Feb 09
Paul Ascott: "That thing coming down the stairs is an organic tank! Unless you've got a Javelin missile launcher in your purse, there's nothing we're doing to stop it!" -08:47 Feb 09
♦ "TEKELI-LI!" the thing in the stairwell roars. -Paul Ascott 08:48 Feb 09
Penny Thistlewhitt: "I'M OKAY WITH JUST RUNNING REALLY REALLY FAST!" Penny squealed, dodging around a couple crates as she fled! -08:52 Feb 09
Alexia McAllister: Fiddling with her right pocket Alexia seemed to be searching for something "I uh... Well... once I made like a large explosion with a computer. It was crazy. I kidna remember what I did if you have like a tablet around. My bag I think its on the chair back in the room." -08:56 Feb 09
Paul Ascott: "Acquisitions are gonna be pissed." Paul reaches into his bag and tosses a small black tablet over to Alexia. "There's a few programs on it you can use. Do it fast. That shoggoth catches up to us, we're gonna suffer a combination of being eaten alive, crushed to death and eroded." -08:57 Feb 09
Paul Ascott: "Keep running whilst you do it!" Paul sets off in a sprint after Penny. -08:58 Feb 09
Alexia McAllister: Taking a deep breath Alexia began to run towards Paul. "Keep an arm on me so I don't fall as I type please." Alexia asked of him as she began to sort through the programs. Finding something suitable she began to type in the equation as she remembered it. -08:59 Feb 09
Paul Ascott: Grunting in acknowledgement, Paul slings an arm over Alexia's shoulder as they run. -09:01 Feb 09
Penny Thistlewhitt: "This room is ridiculously huge!" Penny shouted over her shoulder. It had to take up way more property than what was under the warehouses! -09:02 Feb 09
♦ Behind them, the door to the storage room is smashed off its hinges as the Shoggoth oozes into the room. It writhes forwards at an incredible speed, screeching all the while. -Paul Ascott 09:03 Feb 09
Alexia McAllister: Continuing the equation Alexia began to close her eyes. Taking a deep breath she made sure to keep her eyes closed as she stopped dead in her tracks and turned around. Counting in her head again.. "1... 2.... 3..." She continued before finishing the equation and entering it into the program. -09:04 Feb 09
Paul Ascott: "Just get to the goddamn doors, Penny! Before--" -09:04 Feb 09
♦ For a brief moment, Alexia's program takes the laws of the universe and breaks them over its knee. -Paul Ascott 09:05 Feb 09
♦ The shelves just ahead of Penny, Alexia and Paul seem to implode as their materials warp and bend, collapsing in on themselves and plummeting down onto the writhing mass of tentacles chasing them. -Paul Ascott 09:06 Feb 09
[(Timeout) Alexia McAllister got too distracted for their own good...] -09:07 Feb 09
♦ The shoggoth howls with rage as the metal and the crates grind it to a halt, the creature attempting to bubble around the obstacles. Ahead of Penny, the service entrance looms. -Paul Ascott 09:07 Feb 09
Paul Ascott: "The warrant card! Penny, use the card on the door!" -09:07 Feb 09
Alexia McAllister: Turning away from the monster she opened her eyes again and began to sprint down the hallway once more being careful not to step on anything bad. -09:08 Feb 09
Penny Thistlewhitt: "GOT IT! I THINK!" There sahe went fumbling through all her pockets again - and nearly dropped it - before she went shoving her warrant card at the door! -09:10 Feb 09
♦ The reinforced doors grind themselves open, just in time for the trio to burst through them. -Paul Ascott 09:10 Feb 09
Alexia McAllister: Not waiting to see if the door opened or not Alexia was not slowing down. Just as the doors opened she burst through them but didn't stop running. -09:11 Feb 09
Paul Ascott: Paul manages to go head over heels out onto the Thames slipway they've emerged onto, all but face-planting into the ground. -09:11 Feb 09
Paul Ascott: "THE DOOR! FUCKING CLOSE IT!" -09:11 Feb 09
Penny Thistlewhitt: "CLOSE IT CLOSE IT CLOSE!!" Penny shrieked. At herself. She was panicking, all right! At least she managed to do as instructed, and almost lost her fingers in the door in the process! -09:12 Feb 09
♦ Penny can see the mass of eyes and tentacles surging out of the darkness towards her as the facility doors finally seal themselves again. -Paul Ascott 09:13 Feb 09
Alexia McAllister: Clutching the Tablet to her chest Alexia finally came to a stop as she fell forward onto her knees. Her heart was beating a mile a minute and she felt like she was going to pass out. Falling to the side her body finally began to come down from the rush. -09:15 Feb 09
Paul Ascott: Nose and face bloodied, Paul crawls to his feet and pulls his phone from his battered jacket. Calling up one of his programs, he scans the camera over the door before breathing a sigh of relief. -09:16 Feb 09
Paul Ascott: "Ward's active. Even that thing on the other side won't be getting through." -09:16 Feb 09
Alexia McAllister: Turning over and onto her back Alexia put her arms out to her side "Was this all a test?" She asked suddenly. -09:17 Feb 09
Penny Thistlewhitt: "...And if everybody's dead, do I still have a job?" It was probably the worst thing to ask right about then, but seeing as she didn't have insurance and everything valuable she owned was now locked down with god-knew-what, Penny felt it important to ask. -09:17 Feb 09
Paul Ascott: Paul looks up at the pair of inexplicable survivors. "Don't get me wrong, the folks at Training are bastards. But they're not this big a bunch of bastards. And this was just one Laundry facility. You've still got a job... whether you want it or not." -09:19 Feb 09
Paul Ascott: Groaning slightly, Paul unlocks his phone again. "And before you ask, I have about as much idea as you as to what those things were and why that facility was guarded by a Class-III." -09:20 Feb 09
Paul Ascott: "That shit's way above my clearance level, I suspect." -09:20 Feb 09
Alexia McAllister: Smirking she sat up and began to laugh "Wow! If this is normal... I guess I am really good at chaos... So, since... can I keep this tablet?" -09:21 Feb 09
Paul Ascott: Paul blinks. "Yeah, no. I'm gonna need that back." -09:21 Feb 09
Paul Ascott: "That thing's got all five seasons of Breaking Bad on it." -09:22 Feb 09
Paul Ascott: "Plus if I lose it the Auditors will probably eat me." -09:22 Feb 09
Penny Thistlewhitt: Penny scratched the back of her head. "I really should have read that fine print. Not gonna make that mistake again!" -09:22 Feb 09
Alexia McAllister: Scowling Alexia considered not handing it back for a second. "Why... I have proven... capable of using it... and it isn't lost its simply being procured for a higher use other than sitting empty in a crate!" Alexia suddenly went off. Blushing and clearing her throat she held the tablet out before turning around "Sorry." -09:23 Feb 09
Paul Ascott: Paul just chuckles as he takes the tablet back. "Not to worry, love. You'll get your own rig soon enough." He turns to look at Penny, giving her that same rueful look as when they first met a few hours ago. "Yeah, you're really not." -09:24 Feb 09
Paul Ascott: "Laundry wasn't kidding when they said 'a job for life." -09:24 Feb 09
Alexia McAllister: Shrugging Alexia didn't have a problem with that "Honestly, I find this whole thing.. just brilliant... honestly its just what I was looking for. I mean... brillaint." Alexia commented. -09:25 Feb 09
Penny Thistlewhitt: "I still want my knife back." Penny scowled. -09:27 Feb 09
Paul Ascott: Paul raises an eyebrow at Alexia. "Man, they're gonna love you over at R&D. And if you ask the Cleaners nicely, they'll probably get your knife back. Assuming they don't have to destroy it." -09:28 Feb 09
Alexia McAllister: Looking over Alexia nodded in agreement "Yeah, I have my purse and bag in there. What about my phone?" -09:28 Feb 09
Paul Ascott: Paul begins dialing a number into his phone. "Now then. Time to completely kill any semblance of respect my bosses have for me." He punches dial, then holds the phone up to his ear. "Hi, Switchboard? I'm gonna need the Cleaners down here. ASAP." -09:29 Feb 09
♦ THE END -Paul Ascott 09:29 Feb 09[/BCOLOR][/BCOLOR][/BCOLOR][/FONT][/BCOLOR]
Sorry for the delay in posting them, chums (and thank you @Diana for the suggestion about using the Rich-Text Editor to nab them).
Actually thoroughly enjoyed running this one. I've got several ideas for a follow-up, which I shall keep you posted on.
