The Horrors of Kindle Horror!

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ᴛᴏᴄᴋᴀ

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So, I'm a huge bookworm, and I am constantly browsing through the Amazon store on my Kindle app on my tablet for free horror books. Some times you can find some pretty decent books that have been reduced in price or given away for a week or so to get the author's name out, or the first book in a series to get people hooked enough to buy the rest. Well today I was looking through for something good, and after scrolling most of the books I've already downloaded (Mind you, I filter books by ratings, usually starting from four stars and up and slowly working my way down the ratings.)

I was on four stars and up, looking for free horror ebooks when a title caught my eye.


Yes, ladies and gentleman, there is a book about being pounded in the butt by their own butt. Wonders never fucking cease!

The scariest thing of all.....It's a fucking series!


After a horrified laugh or two I ignored the butt pounding butt and scrolled through some more hoping that people's taste would improve.....


'

Apparently I gave people more credit than they deserve.

I understand that we all have different taste, but COME ON! This is not horror! Lovecraft, Poe, King, and Barker, they're horror! That shit is just plain smut!


I figured that I would come and tell you all. So, if you're ever bored or in need of a laugh, simply check out some of the free ebooks on Amazon, and I guarantee you'll be entertained.


*Edited to add spoilers. Did not realize the rather graphic book descriptions. I was too busy laughing at the damn titles.
 
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Icystorm

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Wow...
Those titles..I can't even.
How can they call that horror? 0.0

Oh wait...I am horrified by just looking at the titles so maybe horror makes sense. xD
 

ᴛᴏᴄᴋᴀ

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The actual erotica books are just as bad. I've spent half the morning snickering at titles such as 'Pounded by two Kings' and 'Fully Stuffed'. No need to guess what those books are about, but I thought people might have a little bit of couth. Why not just title them 'Fucking, fucking and more fucking'? o.O

Wait.....I think I found the title for my novel! It's going to be horror with no erotica at all!
 

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redblood

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But when the scientists combine samples from Kirk’s butt, brain, and a hawk, the resulting effect is a handsome, living ass who immediately sweeps Kirk off of his feet over a candlelit dinner for two.
Well, that sounds scientific :D

This seems more like an erotic romantic comedy. Definitely doesn't seem like horror, but maybe it has some kind of plot twist they don't want to reveal that gets it into that category. Though it could also be that they just put it into some random categories so that it would be more exposed. Either way, it seems like something funny to read just because it's such a ridiculous idea, but not really so funny I would buy it, but if I found a free copy or got it from a friend, I would definitely check it out. :9
 

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I would buy physical copies of these books just for shits and giggles, but I have no money, and these books are intangible. I really like the pounded in the butt by inclusive coffee cup one.
 

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Please...

These titles are surface tier compared to the real tripe that's waiting for one really "Niche" fetishist to go "I like this."
 

ᴛᴏᴄᴋᴀ

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Please...

These titles are surface tier compared to the real tripe that's waiting for one really "Niche" fetishist to go "I like this."
This is horror, not erotica. XD

Skimming over the Erotica section might scar my poor innocent mind for life. I prefer my smut rather vanilla! Ass pounding asses are not my thing. I'll stick with my grandma's old school bodice rippers with the brow quirking name where you're not sure if there's going to be smut or a bunch of back and forth tension that makes you close the book in disappointment.
 

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- Fantasy: Strong leaning to less magical worlds.
- Sci-fi: Double points for a particularly original plot!

And, uh, that's it I think. However, I'm up for almost anything! 'Cept for what I mention below of course.
Same 'author' for both books.

"Dr. Chuck Tingle is an erotic author and Tae Kwon Do grandmaster (almost black belt) from Billings, Montana. After receiving his PhD at DeVry University in holistic massage, Chuck found himself fascinated by all things sensual, leading to his creation of the "tingler", a story so blissfully erotic that it cannot be experienced without eliciting a sharp tingle down the spine.

Chuck's hobbies include backpacking, checkers and sport."

Sounds like a swell dude.
 
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ᴛᴏᴄᴋᴀ

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http://www.amazon.com/Ass-Haunted-Gay-Unicorn-Colonel-ebook/dp/B00SHI7NOS/ref=la_B00SF2MTYK_1_25?s=books&ie=UTF8&qid=1447632082&sr=1-25&refinements=p_82%3AB00SF2MTYK

^That is now on my 'To Read' list.....
 

Icystorm

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If you can't choose between a dinosaur and a unicorn.
http://www.amazon.com/Pounded-Gayness-Dinosaur-Transitioning-Unicorn-ebook/dp/B00YSLQEVG/ref=pd_sim_351_10?ie=UTF8&dpID=51LBw7rc8vL&dpSrc=sims&preST=_UX300_PJku-sticker-v3%2CTopRight%2C0%2C-44_AC_UL160_SR100%2C160_&refRID=18Y4YJTVN98PS2F489JC
 

ᴛᴏᴄᴋᴀ

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  • My Billionaire Triceratops Craves Gay Ass (Dec 9, 2014)
  • Pounded By President Bigfoot (Dec 10, 2014)
  • Taken By The Gay Unicorn Biker (Dec 11, 2014)
  • Gay T-Rex Law Firm: Executive Boner (Jan 9, 2015)
  • Space Raptor Butt Invasion (Jan 11, 2015)
  • My Ass Is Haunted By The Gay Unicorn Colonel (Jan 19, 2015)
  • Pounded By The Gay Unicorn Football Squad (Jan 25, 2015)
  • I'm Gay For My Living Billionaire Jet Plane (Jan 28, 2015)
  • Bigfoot Sommelier Butt Tasting (Feb 2, 2015)
  • Unicorn Butt Cops: Beach Patrol (Feb 8, 2015)
  • Seduced By Doctor Bigfoot: Attorney At Large (Feb 10, 2015)
  • Trained By The Living Biker Train (Feb 16, 2015)
  • Pounded By The Gay Color Changing Dress (Feb 27, 2015)
  • Turned Gay By The Living Alpha Diner (Mar 3, 2015)
  • Glazed By The Gay Living Donuts (Mar 7, 2015)
  • Anally Yours, The Unicorn Sailor (Mar 16, 2015)
  • Pounded In The Butt By My Own Butt (Mar 19, 2015)
  • Top Horn: Turned Gay By The Unicorn Pilots (Mar 21, 2015)
  • Pounded In The Butt By My Book "Pounded In The Butt By My Own Butt" (Mar 29, 2015)
  • Bigfoot Pirates Haunt My Balls (Apr 6, 2015)
  • Gaygent Brontosaurus: The Butt Is Not Enough (Apr 14, 2015)
  • Vampire Night Bus Pounds My Butt (Apr 19, 2015)
  • Shared By The Chocolate Milk Cowboys (Apr 26, 2015)
  • Reamed By My Reaction To The Title Of This Book (May 2, 2015)
  • The Curse Of Bigfoot Butt Camp (May 11, 2015)
  • Professor T-Rex Teaches Me Gayness (May 23, 2015)
  • Bigfoot Settlers Claim My Butthole (May 28, 2015)
  • Lonely Author Pounded By Dinosaur Social Media Followers (May 31, 2015)
  • Angry Man Pounded By The Fear Of His Latent Gayness Over A Dinosaur Transitioning Into A Unicorn (Jun 2, 2015)
  • Hunter Dentist Pounded in the Butt by the Handsome Unicorn (2015)
  • Oppressed In The Butt By My Inclusive Holiday Coffee Cups (November 10, 2015)
Well, I have to give him credit for one thing; his titles are colorful.....
 

Astaroth

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Chuck Tingle is a troll, you guys.

An AMAZING one.














Amazon said:
Buck Trungle is a world famous writer who is sick and tired of living in the shadow of his own books. But when his most recent novel, “Pounded In The Butt By My Own Butt” contacts him out of the blue and threatens a lawsuit, it’s a fear that Buck must now face head on.

Buck’s novel is looking to collect royalties on sales of himself, and Buck’s lawyer is urging the writer to settle out of court, but when author and book finally meet face-to-face things take a turn for the erotic.

Soon enough, Buck is selling himself to seal the deal with this sentient novel, but can he give his ass away without giving a piece of his heart, as well?
 

ᴛᴏᴄᴋᴀ

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Chuck Tingle is a troll, you guys.

An AMAZING one.












I thought he was just addicted to the words 'pounded' and 'butt'......o.o

There are worse addictions, I guess.
 

Uneasy Goat

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Alrighty, here goes: Anthro/Furry (not a genre, but something I might join an unfamiliar genre for), Slice of Life, Romance, Horror (Gorefest = <3), Sci-Fi (Enjoy the world, but I'm not going to play something where the story is so airtight that I've got no freedom), Medieval Fantasy (Something akin to Song of Ice and FIre), Dungeons & Dragons-esque Fantasy
I am figuratively dying over here. Shared by the Chocolate Milk Cowboys has the best cover of all of 'em.
 

Diana

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It is my dream to be this man and write such amazing books. O_O
 

ᴛᴏᴄᴋᴀ

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It is my dream to be this man and write such amazing books. O_O
Step one: Develop a fascination for dinosaurs, unicorns, books, cups, billionaires, cowboys, and butts.
Step two: Combine the above.
Step three: Profit? o.O
 
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Hellis

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