The Hitchhiker's Guide to the Galaxy

Discussion in 'ROLEPLAY GRAVEYARD' started by Asmodeus, Mar 25, 2012.

  1. In the beginning, the universe was created.

    This has made a lot of people very angry and has been widely regarded as a bad move.

    Four and a half billion years later, far out in the uncharted backwaters of the unfashionable end of the Western Spiral arm of the Galaxy, a small and utterly insignificant blue-green planet named Earth was unexpectedly demolished to make way for a new hyperspace bypass.

    The primitive ape descendants who lived on this planet were rather upset by this, or at least as upset as you can be while a Vogon Construcotr Fleet is vapourizing you. However, the plans for the demolition had been on display at their local planning department in Alpha Centauri for 50 years, so they only had themselves to blame for not taking an interest in local affairs.

    Sadly, this was not the end of the human race, because five minutes and twenty three seconds before the Earth was destroyed a number of ape descendents were saved by their best friend, Honda Civic, who was not, as they believed, from Cornwall, but in fact from a small planet somewhere in the vicinity of Betelgeuse.

    It is also interesting to note that Honda Civic was a researcher for The Hitchhiker's Guide to the Galaxy, a truly remarkable book which has already supplanted the great Encyclopaedia Galactica as the standard repository of all knowledge and wisdom. For though it has many omissions and contains much that is apocryphal, or at least wildly inaccurate, it scores over the older, more pedestrian work in two important respects.

    First, it is slightly cheaper; and secondly it has the words DON'T PANIC inscribed in large friendly letters on its cover.

    Luckily for the ape descendents saved by Honda Civic, their story and the story of The Hitchhiker's Guide to the Galaxy can be told simultaneously.

    Otherwise this would have been a very pointless introduction.






    <table align=center><tr><td>NAME:
    APPEARANCE:
    WHAT YOU ARE DOING FIVE MINUTES AND TWENTY THREE SECONDS BEFORE THE WORLD ENDS:
    HOW YOU KNOW HONDA CIVIC:
    SKILL/TALENT: (You are not allowed anything useful, relevant or impressive)
    THING YOU MISS MOST ABOUT THE EARTH:</td></tr></table>









    NAME: Honda Civic

    WHAT YOU ARE DOING FIVE MINUTES AND TWENTY THREE SECONDS BEFORE THE WORLD ENDS: Robbing a liquor store for Jack Daniels and peanuts.

    HOW YOU KNOW HONDA CIVIC: I am Honda Civic, I think...

    SKILL/TALENT: He is the only man who knows how to change the keypad tones on the Hitchhiker's Guide to the Galaxy.

    THING YOU MISS MOST ABOUT THE EARTH: How easy it is to rob liquor stores when you're wearing a snappy suit.
     
  2. NAME: ​Mary McMorrow
    APPEARANCE: A very plain woman with brown hair and brown eyes that match each other.
    WHAT YOU ARE DOING FIVE MINUTES AND TWENTY THREE SECONDS BEFORE THE WORLD ENDS: Scrolling about Tumblr and talking to internet friends
    HOW YOU KNOW HONDA CIVIC: Met on the street and gave him my phone number and then we met up and became friends.
    SKILL/TALENT: I can wiggle my nose
    THING YOU MISS MOST ABOUT THE EARTH: The internet
     
  3. Accepted.

    *stands with 5uperjun1or amidst a bleak, desolate wasteland*

    Anyone else?
     
  4. Can't torture this time, I'm afraid. Bar is too high, and I'm not as funny as Douglas Adams.
     
  5. You know I'm up for this shit.

    Stand by for character sheet.
     
  6. [size=+1] NAME: Anthony Horwitzer
    WHAT YOU ARE DOING FIVE MINUTES AND TWENTY THREE SECONDS BEFORE THE WORLD ENDS: Assisting Honda Civic in robbing a liquor store for Jack Daniels and peanuts. He’s not really sure why. He doesn’t like whisky, and he’s allergic to peanuts.
    HOW YOU KNOW HONDA CIVIC: Honda Civic is a proper gentleman. Anthony met him in the pub once; saved his ass from a drunken Scotsman with an over-inflated opinion of himself who decided that Honda was “eyein’ up his bird”. Since then the two of them have become fast friends. Anthony finds his compatriot’s name and demeanour slightly… odd, but his chat makes his slightly unhinged personality forgivable.
    SKILL/TALENT: Anthony was doing a BA Honours in Physics before everything went pear-shaped. He never thought he paid that much attention in class but it’s amazing what the end of the Earth can dredge from your memory.
    THING YOU MISS MOST ABOUT THE EARTH: The lack of strange gribbly things from beyond the stars trying to kill you. Seriously, even Lovecraft did not prepare Anthony for this shit. And the distinct lack of nice cigarettes. All they have out here are things they call ‘Death Sticks’, and Honda Civic keeps warning him away from those.[/size]
     
  7. Dammit. I have free slots now and this is just too good to pass up.



    NAME: Astrid Stuffy

    WHAT YOU ARE DOING FIVE MINUTES AND TWENTY THREE SECONDS BEFORE THE WORLD ENDS: Being held up by the world's best-dressed common criminal over a fifth of whiskey and a bag of peanuts. Really, was £15 that hard to come by?

    HOW YOU KNOW HONDA CIVIC: Their eyes met across the sales counter. Cute bloke, really, or so she thought until she realized he was robbing her. ...Alright, still sort of cute. And strangely well-dressed?

    SKILL/TALENT: She's an aspiring and talented actress. One day she was going to be world-famous! Except, well, not on Earth anymore, she reckons. And to be fair, she's most recognizable for the widespread "Ms. Scumfree" advertisement, in which she plays the lovely cleaning genie and magics away grime from kitchen floors. She still has nightmares about wearing those harem pants...

    THING YOU MISS MOST ABOUT THE EARTH: Watching the soaps with a bottle of gin. Even if the gin was just one of those dinky samplers from her day job.
     
  8. NAME: David Barthirst
    APPEARANCE:
    [​IMG]
    WHAT YOU ARE DOING FIVE MINUTES AND TWENTY THREE SECONDS BEFORE THE WORLD ENDS: Arguing with a woman with a small dog over weather or not its her pet thats been leaving messes outside the door. This is important.
    HOW YOU KNOW HONDA CIVIC: David sold Honda his suit. It was two sizes too bog for Honda at the time but nothing a day with a needle couldn't fix.
    SKILL/TALENT: Hes a moderately decent tailor.
    THING YOU MISS MOST ABOUT THE EARTH: The way the sun shone at just the wrong angle in the morning and 200 days a year woke him up an hour before he needed to.
     
  9. NAME: Romona Tarp


    APPEARANCE: 5189220581_cdce20be2f.jpg Oddly enough, she doesn't need the glasses.--->


    WHAT YOU ARE DOING FIVE MINUTES AND TWENTY THREE SECONDS BEFORE THE WORLD ENDS: Cleaning out the garbage disposal at the elderly woman's house she was watching. That old bat always put things down there that didn't belong. Like vegetable oil.


    HOW YOU KNOW HONDA CIVIC: He was that guy helped her carry the two gallons of oil across the street for the old lady and her. What a sweet deed he did, but did he have an inch of intelligence in that head of his? Why give vegetable oil to an oil lady? And be as 'kind' enough to help her heave it across the road while Romona was standing right there? Prick.


    SKILL/TALENT: She can keep a 52 deck card tower standing for longer than 4 minutes, if given the proper silence and right amount of Ginger Ale with at least half of a Swiss Roll.


    THING YOU MISS MOST ABOUT THE EARTH: Splenda. How artificial sugar can taste so much like crap but still have the ability to concoct a sugary enough taste that keeps her mouth shut and gritty.
     
  10. NAME: Maria Gonzales
    APPEARANCE:
    tumblr_l7wpf9CwYx1qcvco7o1_500.jpg
    WHAT YOU ARE DOING FIVE MINUTES AND TWENTY THREE SECONDS BEFORE THE WORLD ENDS: Standing outside the store Honda Civic is robbing, handing out flyers featuring reduced prices in laxatives available at the pharmacy across the street. Flyer also includes a 2x1 promo coupon, entitling its bearer to buy two laxatives at the price of one.

    HOW YOU KNOW HONDA CIVIC: Standing at the store entrance, she forced Honda Civic and Anthony Horwitzer take one of her flyers each before entering.

    SKILL/TALENT: Maria can eat olives and spit their core with extreme force and unaccuracy.

    THING YOU MISS MOST ABOUT THE EARTH: The Weather Channel
     
  11. I'll attempt the IC tonight
     
  12. So we're an alien, his drinking buddy, his tailor, and a couple random girls who happen be nearby at the time?

    Sounding Douglas Adams to me.
     
  13. One post in and I can already tell that I'm going to enjoy this RP quite a lot...
     
  14. And here's another version of the theme:

    [video=youtube;TA6qlMU4bMI]http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=TA6qlMU4bMI[/video]
     
  15. Awesome postage, guys.
     
  16. Agreed. This is awesome.
     
  17. LATE. But getting to it.
     
  18. I'm loving this.
    Can't wait to get rid of my stuff to do so I can post back again.

    That, that Astrid Stuffy...

    xD
     
  19. ...I feel like we're waiting on me...