The Hero Club's Misadventures! | 勇者部の災難! | Yuushabu no Sainan!

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New school year, new school time.

What's the worst that could happen? Absolutely nothing. Or rather, it's a mystery to be found out.

A new school year at Hanazawa Co-Ed School means new clubs to be made. Every year, many clubs are submitted, but only few succeed to be true clubs. The Student Council analyses these clubs, or as some call themselves, societies and even cults, to ensure that they are valid. Some just get rejected, others are just too similiar to already existing clubs. You all know how this goes.

"Occult Society? I've heard stories of when the last, last Student Council President rejected some of those. Ever since then, there hasn't been one until now?"
"Occult... Society you say? Interesting. Approve it."
"Wha- nevermind. How about this? Hero Club."
"Hmmm... Aki... zuki... A... k... this will be interesting. Approve it as well."
"Wait a second, don't we arrange this stuff in some form of alphabetical order before we get working?"
"Actually we don't do that until we get to the approved pile. Obvious reasons."

Two of these approved clubs are the Hero Club, which is just a fancy name for 'volunteer group club help around thing', and the Occult Society, which is- alright that one's painfully obvious.

Each of these clubs are lead by Akizuki Akane and Akizuki Akira, who are both sisters. Akane, leader of the Hero Club, looks and acts like a gyaru, albeit being quite the fake one, but don't tell her that please. Akira, the leader of the Occult Society, is born from the very darkness of the depths of R'lyeh, the reaches of Tartarus, and the flames of Yomi. She is the Tainted Gospel. She wields the potential of occult and darkness, and with her great wrapped Wyvern Bahamut by her side, she is unstoppa-

- what was I saying again? Oh, right.

So for the past two weeks, they have been finding ways to promote their clubs as the Student Council assigns their respective rooms for activity over the weeks. Fliers, dark fliers, posters, dark posters, promotional things, dark promotional things, fortune telling, muffins, dark muffins, bunny suits, dark bunny sui-

Wait, those last things never happened. Are those even allowed in school

Clubs live, clubs die, giving new spaces for the new clubs. It looks like these two clubs got pretty spacious club rooms, right opposite of each other. Now the next step was to decorate their clubs, and wait for new members.​
 
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Akizuki Akane greeted her beloved sister as they parted ways in the corridor, heading to her club. Both sisters were carrying some heavy stuff, presumably filled with various items to decorate their clubs.

Akane enters the empty club, equipped with only a meeting table, empty bookshelves, and some sort of metal wardrobe. Pretty empty, one would dare say. She then proceeds filling the shelves with various books of godknowswhat. Guides? Stories? No one will ever find out, unless, of course, they read it.

As a last step, she places a plate of cookies in the center of the rectangular table, and waits for the club to be filled with whoever is ready to fill it.
 
The first day was almost complete and no one suspected a thing. And why would they, I’m perfectly normal, thought the strange teen with pockets full of smoke grenades as he opened the door to the club room. When he entered he noticed two things. The first being the sweet smell of cookies. The second, he wasn’t the first one here. Disappointing but even the best laid plans and all that. After closing the door behind him the teen straightened his posture, offered a salute to the lone girl in the room and said “agent Jonathan Doe reporting in. If you don’t mind, I’ll search the room for bugs.”
 
"Oyama, I must re-state my protests against such wasteful activity."

Oyama let out a sigh, primarily directed at the collar around his neck. The young man was walking down the school hall, a flyer held in his hand
"Ios, remember what I told you last week? Humans NEED 'Wasteful Activity' to remain sane. I could spend every waking moment training and preparing for the next invasion, but I would be so stressed that I would never be able to function well in battle. Besides, if we forget what we're fighting for then there's not much point in fighting at all."

"The idea that spending less time preparing for battle makes you more effective is logically inconsistent."
"Humans aren't always logical creatures iOS, but it works for us. I thought you learned that a long time ago."
The AI was silent for about a minute before speaking again
"This is correct. You have many times flown in the face of logic when traditional tactics demanded otherwise . . . and arrived at an optimal result. It would seem you are consistent in your inconsistency. However . . . the 'Hero club'?"
Oyama chuckled a little bit
"Seems fitting don't you think?"
"I fail to see what could be any possible use of such a club. Other clubs practice sports or different activities to further one's skill set."
"Maybe we'll meet some other people like us, who are dealing with this shit on a weekly basis. Keep an open mind, you might learn something."
"Practical analysis indicates That as 88.9% unlikely."
"Hey! Those are better odds than you gave me for that plan in the last battle!"
". . . it continually baffles my circuits as to how you can take a percentage of success lower than 10% and continually succeed at such endeavors."
"It's called 'belief' Ios, and when you finally understand it I think you'll understand humans a lot better."
Oyama opened up the door indicated on the flyer, immediately being hit with the smell of something freshly baked
"Something smells good in here. Oyama Star, answering the call for one 'Hero club'!"
 
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"The Hero Club, huh?" Hayazaki sighed, looking at the flier. It'd apparently just be community service, but that was a heroic act in its own right, she supposed. Besides, what other club would she join, anyway?

Ryuumi Hayazaki held a small campus map in her hand, looking around. Well, she wasn't actually sure why she was holding the map anymore, it'd proven itself quite useless in her endeavors. She'd walked to the wrong end of the school, only to ask a teacher and be told to go to the other side. Sighing, she crammed the paper in her pocket. She wouldn't take any advice from that kid again. Luckily, thanks to the teacher's directions, she made it to the clubroom.

"Hello, I'm Ryuumi Hayazaki."
 
School was so much fun! Runa had only attended for a couple weeks, but she really enjoyed it so far. She got to meet friends, hang out ,and do a lot more than just hang around at home or in some lab or something. And now it was time to join clubs, so she was wandering the halls looking for one that seemed interesting. She'd seen some recruiting for some sort of "hero club," which sounded maybe too obvious, but also mysterious enough. And it should be a perfect fit for a wannabe hero. It didn't take her too long to find the club room and barge right in.

There were a few other students already in the room. Runa took a few moments to study each of them before introducing herself. One of the girls looked like some kind of kogal, with tanned skin and bright blonde hair. The other seemed pretty normal, although she had a really neat scarf. One of the guys must have lost something, if he were searching the room like that, and the other one had some sort of funny collar. But overall, everyone looked normal enough. She was probably the strangest one there, what with the even darker skin tone, unruly, reddish-black hair hanging down past her waist, and inhuman looking gold eyes.

"Hi," Runa began, before she noticed the cookies and was quickly distracted. "Cookies," she exclaimed in surprised, and giggling like a small child immediately slithered up to the plate and stuffed her face with a cookie without bothering to ask permission. "Anyway, uh," she picked back up again, talking around a mouth full of baked goods. "I think this is the right club, so mind if I hang around?" She eyed the plate of cookies again.
 
Arize Sasaki
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"Miss Arize, to start off junior year why not join this club? It seems they share the same interests as yours." Suke handed her a flyer that was promoting the Occult Society. Arize turned with a large scowl on her face, "I don't have time for a meeting of beings who are helplessly inferior to me and ignorant to that fact as well." She said plainly, then turning back around to walk down the hallway. Her scowl subsided temporarily as she calmly walked down the fluorescent illumination of the hall. Suke followed behind her quietly for a few seconds before saying, "Goddess, if I may speak-" he started once again. "Goddess? Hmph. Speak mortal." She said harshly, ignoring that she herself was mortal as well. "It seems the leader of this club is born from the very darkness of the depths of R'lyeh, the reaches of Tartarus, and the flames of Yomi. She is the Tainted Gospel. She wields the potential of occult and darkness, and with her great wrapped Wyvern Bahamut by her side, she is unstoppable." Suke reported, causing Arize to abruptly stop her even stride. "All of that!?! What next? Does she also have contracts with demons and the ability to summon hellfire at will?" Arize exclaimed sarcastically, turning to face her servant.

"Most likely." Suke responded matter-of-factly.

"Impossible.... you will take me to this person immediately." Arize said, and that was how she ended up standing in the Occult Society club room.​
 
While carrying a large cardboard box in her hands, Akira made her way to the center of the Occult Society's club room. She wobbled to and fro as the box she was carrying was almost too heavy for her to handle. Finally making it to the center of the room, she stopped before a table and with a huff, she dropped the box onto the table beside her best friend Bahamut, which appeared to be an ordinary alligator plushie wearing sunglasses.

Now that the preparations she'd planned for the day were complete, she takes one final survey of the room. In this dimly lit room, it can be seen that all of the windows, which are on the wall opposite to the room's door, are draped by curtains and blankets to block out all light from the outside. The only illumination for the room comes from the faint glow of various lava lamps that are scattered around three sides of this rectangular room.

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At the left side of the room, the only side without lava lamps, more curtains hide a small portion of the room that Akira is using solely for storage. Looking back at the table in the center of the room with Bahamut and the box on top, Akira admires its table cloth that is printed with a pattern that depicts koi carp and dragons.

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It was a belonging of Akira's father that she'd found at home. In fact, all of the decorations and furnishings in the club room save for just the table and a chalkboard were items Akira had been gradually bringing in from her home during the past couple of weeks. Satisfied with the way everything looked, she let out a snort with a grin and addressed Bahamut.

"WAHAHA! It's perfect, Bahamut!... The Sabbath has commenced..."

Just then, Akira heard a knocking at the door. There was no doubt in her mind what this signaled. This moment was exactly what she'd been waiting for, and it'd come with such perfect timing. Now brimming with excitement, she scuttled over to the entrance of the room, a pair of sliding double doors with a beaded curtain hanging from the frame that she'd recklessly arranged this morning for the simple reason of that she thought it looked cool. Stopping abruptly before the door, she took a deep breath and calmed her nerves in order to not seem too excited nor too frantic to her first visitor.

Sadly, however, she's going to be dramatic either way, even despite taking a breather. That's just how she is.

Now mentally prepared, she slid the left door open just a crack, only so much as to let her left eye peek through the slit. She looked up to see a tall girl with black hair who showed a very serious gaze from her dark blue-black eyes. Akira's interest and excitement peaked once again upon feeling the crimson aura that this intense girl seemed to emit. In the next moment, Akira shoved both sliding doors open.

Thanks to Akira's rash actions, three strands of the beaded curtain got caught on a door. They broke and dropped their beads, creating a mess on the floor by the doorway. At the same time, Akira reacted to someone whose presence she hadn't been aware of. She jumped back and landed on her bum from being startled by a man who apparently had been standing directly behind the right sliding door.

Akira hadn't been expecting to receive two visitors at once. "Ah!" Akira let out after remembering that she was supposed to be welcoming these guests. She hurriedly got to her feet, positioned her left hand directly forward and right hand to hover close to her face, and spit out a rehearsed, "Welcome to my den..."
 
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"Ya~ hoi~ ssu~. "

Those were the words from Akizuki Akane, the false charisma gal. She saw the bunch. Odd, but they look friendly. Nothing could go wrong, right?

"The name's is Akizuki Akane~. I'm just your average charisma gal~. All I can say now is - welcome to the Hero Club! Have a seat, will you? Are you all enjoying yourselves?"

She then checks a sheet of paper. "Hmmm... I think we've got enough for the commencement of the club. First and foremost, the most natural thing for the first day of any club is an... introduction~ Say your name, one or two things, and we're all good! Now, who goes first~?"

She looks around, to see a young, redheaded tanned girl. "Mind if I hang around?" the girl questions.

"You're in the right club Miss. Want to introduce yourself first?"
 
Oyama gladly took a seat. This 'Akizuki' seemed quite friendly, but after all it was her name on the club roster.
"Well let's see, my name is Oyama Star--but I already said that. I've been practicing martial arts since I was ten and I enjoy piloting."
He paused for about a minute as if expecting something before scowling and looking down
"IOS, she said it was time for introductions. That means you too."
Another pause before the collar around Oyama's neck started to buzz
"If I must. I am an Intelligence optimized system, designed to assist Oyama in the task of piloting."
 
Runa took a seat a short distance from the food, although her self-control held for now and she didn't continue grazing on the plate of cookies. They were presumably for everyone. She listened politely while Akane and Oyama introduced themselves. She jumped, and her unusually long ahoge straightened a bit in shock, when Oyama's collar started talking.

"Hello everyone," she said, acknowledging the introductions so far. "I'm Yggdrasil Runa,' she introduced herself using the typical Japanese name order, but it was clear from the name that she probably wasn't native. "I haven't been here very long, but I am really enjoying it so far."
 
"The Occult Society, eh?" the strangely robed boy said to himself, tearing the poster down from the wall to get a good look. Arthur was glad he had managed to convince the principal to give him a pass to wear his regular attire instead of the constrictive school uniform on grounds of "religious necessity." Which technically wasn't wrong.

After a few minutes of walking around and trying to find the room on the overly complicated map, the strange young man arrived at what he assumed was the room for the Occult Society, judging from the signs on the wall. It had seemed that someone was already there, a tall, confident girl that looked almost annoyed. He stood next to her, waiting for the door to open so he could see if the club stood up to it's name.

Within moments, the door was flung open, sending the opener and a hundred beads clattering to the floor. A small girl with white hair and red eyes sat dazed on the ground. Quickly she scrambled to her feet, sticking her left hand forward and her right hand close to her face. "Welcome to my den..."

This would be amusing to say the least, he thought to himself.
 
After checking out the room Jonathan joined the others at the table choosing the seat closest to the window, a possible escape route if needed. He listened carefully to the other club members introductions, already trying to figure everyone out and guessing how they could be useful. Soon it was his turn. "Hello ma'am" he said in a militaristic rhythm "I am agent Jonathan Doe ma'am. I am also new here and no I am not enjoying myself ma'am though I did not expect to."
 
"GET OUUUUT!"

The harsh tone of the ping pong club president was still ringing in Hospitaller's ear as she dejectedly walked down the hall. Of course, that was probably because that event of being ejected out of the Ping Pong Club had only happened a couple of minutes ago.

"Task. Difficult." Hospitaller said to herself. However, she quickly perked herself back up. "No! Giving up, Undesirable!"

With those words, Hospitaller once again turned to the pin-up board in the hallway. It was on this pinup board that the recruiting clubs were advertising themselves so as to attract new members. Hospitaller had just been working her way down the naturally occurring rows of the relevant posters. On this next row there were two posters that where curiously located very close to each other. In such a way that it was hard to tell which was the next one in order.

Both of them had their club logos emblazoned on them. One had that of a face with x's for eyes that seemed to be sticking it's tongue out. And one seemed to be a reference to the All Seeing Eye. In the end, the lower poster of the All Seeing Eye had text that was easier to make out. This was what lead Hospitaller onto her next perspective club visit.




The Club Room for the Occult Club was not that hard to spot. Even just the entrance with it's bead curtains (and bead slipping hazards) instantly made it stand out from the other rooms in the school. But even beyond just looks, the presences that seemed to be concentrating in that particular area where certainly in way different from the rest of the school. The Occult Club was one space in the immediate area where those uncommon entities were being picked up.

Hospitaller could see at least 3 people already seeming to be in the process of joining the club, their backs were turned so she couldn't make out exactly who they were, though the one wearing the non-school regulation garb was already a familiar sight even without their face being visible. In front of them, from the club room, was a girl who was a bit short for the school.

During Hospitaller's precious approaches she sort of stepped forward and was willing to jump into any sort of club activity. However, all of those times it seemed to not end particularly well for her, as she got thrown out in the end. She got thrown out of the Ping Pong Club so fast, that they didn't even bother to take back the their paddle that she was still holding. This time around, Hospitaller took a more restrained approach. Making sure the bow on her uniform was straight, Hospitaller walked up behind the other two. Looking more like a curious student coming out from the crowd at that immediate point. Though that wasn't entirely a facade either, as the lava lamps running inside of the club room immediately caught Hospitaller's attention.

"Pretty." She said, accidentally giving voice to what she was immediately thinking.
 
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Hayazaki moved into the room and took a seat. After the others introduced themselves, she followed suit. "I'm Ryuumi Hayazaki. I, uh, like to eat. A lot," she introduced herself. Jonathan was apparently not enjoying his time at the moment, though nobody had really asked him about it. Oyama was a pilot of some sort, as evident by the AI he had on him. What a strange group of people. Perhaps it came with a name like the Hero Club. Well, it wouldn't hurt to get along with some more...eccentric people.
 
What an odd bunch. They looked like a pretty chill crew, but what an odd bunch. The one known as 'Oyama' and the one known as 'Jonathan' spoke in a rather otherwordly fashion.

She presumed that it was some sort of secret identity thing. Maybe they had chuunibyou like her sister.

Hayazaki and Runa... well they were just a little odd. But that was what she was used to. She was used to more than just that.

Akane was most astonished by the artificial intelligent speaking using a machine as a catalyst.

But hey, whatever. Five new members, right? Five new members, except one didn't have functional limbs, maybe, so all robot-man could do was... advice.

She then placed some papers on the table. They seemed to be documents with pictures of cats on them. Russian Blue, Scottish Fold, American Short Fur... and obviously calico. Pictures of cats and a bunch of words, if you looked from your seat.

Akane then stands up. "Ya~ hello~ Nice to meetcha~ the name's Akizuki Akane~. Just call me Akane-san, no need to be too formal. Welcome to the Hero Club! Our main purpose - to help with problems around the school and community! Of course, about the 'school' part, I kind of haven't made a Hero Club letterbox yet..."
 
Running down the hall, Jem couldn't believe he was late. This was the first time in years he had been behind schedule, mainly because he couldn't leave that group alone, with them always causing issues around the place. As he ran down the hall, he pulled off his gear that wasn't hidden within the rings and tucked it in his bag. I need to go faster, I won't make it at this pace. Moving outside, he saw the room he was supposed to be in, and an idea formed in his mind.

As he flat out sprinted toward the wall below the window, he jumped and ran up the wall, using the sills of other windows as stepping stones. Grabbing onto the sill for the correct window, he slid it open and slid in, Nyu popping out of his pocket as he put his feet on flat footing. Brushing off the dust that had gotten on his pants, he walked over to the table and sat listening to the very end of Akane-san's introduction.
 
Akane sensed someone behind her. "An interesting entrance..." Akane checked the roster list before turning her head back. "Could you introduce yourself~"

With that, all six members had been assembled. Maybe seven. That was more than enough to initiate a club.

The first club meeting will soon be ready to roll.
 
An introduction? Jem looked around the room, realizing he was being referenced. "Uh, well my name is Jem, but everyone that knows me calls me two. Maybe sometime I'll show you why. I am excellent at parkour, as you can tell, though I won't teach. I also have her," As Jem says this, he lifts Nyu off his leg and places her on his shoulder. "Her name is Nyu, and she understands almost anything. Her and I have been together since she was little, so don't mind me if I'm talking with her." As he said this, Nyu hopped down back into his pocket.
 
Quite a few foreign students this year. In the same club. Odd.

Nevermind that. She was going to ask what country they were from, but maybe she should save that for another time.

A tiny, hamster-like being peered out of 'Jem's' pocket.

"Looks like you're just in time, Jem. And Nyu. We're ready all ready for the Hero Club," Akane gives a wink. "I do have plans for a first activity to do over a weekend. Before I speak, is anyone allergic to certain animals? Cats, dogs, iguanas?"
 
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