The Hero Club's Misadventures! | 勇者部の災難! | Yuushabu no Sainan!

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A singular spirit "sat" upon a street light that was on the opposing side of the street to the school that she'd soon be entering. Some fellow poltergeists had mentioned it to her, telling the ghost that she could find a girl with extraordinary spiritual ability there. Of course, they wouldn't (and couldn't) give her much more information on the female other than that she attended the school and had a sister. They could only tell her what they knew. Even with a lack of information, she still found it would be worthwhile to check it out. It would prove as not only an opportunity to show her superiority to the others, but also as a chance to escape from a certain "poltergeist hunter" that had been chasing her for a few weeks now. One would call his level of awareness "paranoid", but it was with good reason. Too long a moment of being unprepared for the young female ghost could prove fatal, should you be a target of hers.

After gazing upon what would be her home for the time being for a few moments, she descended from her "seat" and began floating towards the school building, permeating everything that happened across her path on the way over, including an 18-wheeler that was making a delivery. Once she made it to the other side, gaining entrance was as easy as literally going right through the front door. The hard part boe would be figuring out where her target would be. It would be best if she was alone. She could put the girl to sleep using "Lullaby" and then be off with her. At least that was her initial plan.

Having searched the halls for a while, a scream or shriek being heard here and there about a floating hand puppet (which was visible on account of her tracing on the wall as she walked), she'd find herself stopping in a hallway with doors on either side. One of them was closed, but the other had three people standing outside - a short, blue-haired girl, a slightly taller female, and a tall man dressed in a robe. They seemed to be staring into the room at who knows what, the floor both in and out generously uncovered in beads.

Trau giggled a bit at the sight of them. One of them entered the room and stated simply, "Pretty." The other female seemed as though she was ready to make an overbearing remark about the beads littering the floor, while the male seemed to be calmly taking it all in. How easily occupied humans were. How easily she could put them all to sleep and end what existence they'd led until now. A smirk came over her face at the thought, but no actions were taken. Such wasn't her task right now.

Moving closer to the group, she too peered into the room, which was ornately decorated with all sorts of "spiritual" items. It was just her guess that the girl that was standing in the room already was her target. Whether or not that spoke volumes about her intuition or laziness was anyone's guess. The female ghost floated into the room and made her way over to the side, choosing merely to observe for now. There wasn't much she could do right now. Even if she played her song, she wouldn't get very far dragging a high school girl through a school during operating hours.
 
"Wahaha... welcome to my dungeon, new denizens of darkness..."

That was the voice that emerged from the petite figure that guarded the very gates leading to the Occult Society Room.

"Your auras vary in hue. An interesting observation indeed. I predict conflict, but with conflict, unity will rise. Allow me to introduce myself. I am the Tainted Gospel, born from the chaotic corners of the primordial universe, but I do reccommend that I am referred to by my Earthly name - Akizuki Akira."

She coughs for a bit. The one known as Akira then removes the paper-thin binds that sealed what appeared to be a cardboard box.

"Take a seat, dark denizens. Because as of this instance, our first sabbath will finally COMMENCE! Time to unleash this grand Pandora's Box!"

As Akira opened the box, the very aura of its contents resonated across the room. But, what were they? What awaited the crowd of newcomers?
 
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Sayuri:

"Runa how can you be so sure that every thing will be fine especially after Sayuri just said that terrorist eldrich abominations with nuclear bombs are involved." Jonathan continued with eagerness "Please Sayur tell us more even if it is late this kind of information is very important."

Sayuri blinked in surprise. Is he a nutter, or did he just get a double-helping of chuunibyou?, she thought. He certainly seemed to have at least two varieties at the same time. An impulse, familiar yet foreign, came over her: to continue to provide more 'late-breaking Intelligence.' Start with the Templars and the Illuminati, then link them to cults of hybrid Deep Ones seeking unspeakable dark incantations to raise Cthulhu from the deep, continuing on to the threat of the coming Invasion of the Teddy Bear Empire, whose denizens, with intellects vast and stuffing-filled and unsympathetic, looked upon this world with envious button-eyes as they laid their plans against humanity...just to see how many bridges she could sell before this guy realized he was being had.

Thankfully, the club leader rose from her seat before Sayuri could act on it. A little creepy, actually. At least, that seemed to be the effect Akane was going for. Like she expected a foul wind to blow within the enclosed room, stirring her hair like Medusa's snakes, her words to be punctuated with bone-rattling thunderclaps. "Please settle down, everyone. I'm sure you understand that this is a mere first day," Akane's voice boomed. Sayuri opened her mouth, and only barely managed to stop herself from saying, 'What, no maniacal cackle? How disappointing.' Stop it, Mery! she thought to the inner revenant of her prior incarnation, who seemed determined to completely ruin her chances of belonging in this club.

Suddenly, Akane changed her vibe, as if she was trying to replace the brooding thunderclouds and infernal breezes with sunlight and rainbows and fluffy clouds and sparkly shooting stars. "Ya~ hoi~ ☆ My name is Akizuki Akane~ I'm 15 going on 16, and a First Year High Schooler in Hanazawa Co-Ed School~! My little sister is attending the school too and she's a First Year Mi- alright, nevermind. Ummm... yeah. Let's continue with the re-intros." Unfortunately, both performances were 'off' just enough to make the whole thing surreal, instead of...well, whatever effect she was probably going for.

Things got even weirder as the others did their intros. He's been in secret military training since he was five?! It was hard for Sayuri to even imagine how horrible and dismal his world had to be. Now she was really glad she hadn't started pulling his leg. The girl with the pretty cat eyes seemed to be classified "too," despite her too-late attempt to backpedal. These people are so gonna laugh at me when--crap. It was her turn.

"Uh...I am Yoshizawa Sayuri. I am 15, and this is my first year here. Oh," she said, turning to Jon, "what I said earlier, those were questions, not answers. I mean, we are just delivering cats to elderly or disabled people who would have a hard time coming to get them, or something like that, right? There's no actual threat?" she asked. That seemed to be how the others viewed the 'mission,' as far as she could tell. "Anyway...I love to read and learn new things, and I like art and jewelry-making. I'm also the reincarnation of Merywset Ur-Hekai, an ancient high priestess. I guess that's why I've always been interested in ancient Egypt--the country she lived in." So far, her experience with alternate universes was rather limited, so she had no idea if this world was likely to have had an 'ancient Egypt' she would recognize, or not. "When I found out about her, I...got magical powers...and I try to use them to help other people, and...bring magic and wonder back to my world." That had to sound ridiculously kawaii compared to the others' Ever So Serious and Grown-Up worlds, where five year-olds were secret operatives who could never, ever be late or people died.
 
Hospitaller and the two others were left standing silently at the doorstep to the Occult Club. The young girl who stood at the entrance of the room remained... eerily silent. Like a tree. Like paint that was in the process of drying. Like a car whose motor has gone out. Like a hikkikomori pondering what to do with their life. Like a brick after it had had been set into a wall after the cement around it had set...

Hospitaller found herself idling herself with such pointless mental processing while waiting for the next word to be spoken. It was a bit agonizing to say the least. The girl was filled with worry as soon as she contemplated the possibility that it was none other than her that had started this extended waltz of everlasting silence. All around the hallway, one could hear the activity of the other clubs in the building. It looked like the debate team in another room was having some sort of stellar argument. In yet here was these four standing in what was probably the most bizarre looking clubroom out of them all, in yet absolutely nothing was happening.

Maybe, word of Hosptaller getting booted out of the other clubs was already common knowledge? Oh no! She thought to herself. Was freezing time and space the way the people of Japan showed that they had no interest in their presence? Hospitaller's heart sank at the thought.

...!

It was at that moment that she noticed the entity coming in their general direction. It was something that was not alive - a spirit. As it approached, directly towards them, Hospitaller identified it as being Malevolent. However, as things were right now there was no way she could exorcise it. And it was best off that Hospitaller pretended to not be aware of the spirit's presence until the time to confront it came. Spirits, like people, seemed to have the same spirit sense as a regular person. In other words, the average spirit wouldn't know another spirit being a spirit unless that other spirit said it was one. Or if they saw the other spirit being transparent, or if they witnessed the other spirit being able to fly or dissappear. Human Spirits were still Humans in concept.

It was as the Entity floated into the club room that the Young 'Club President' finally spoke.


"Wahaha... welcome to my dungeon, new denizens of darkness..."

Hospitaller's focus shifted from the Ghost in the room to the girl at the door.

"Your auras vary in hue. An interesting observation indeed. I predict conflict, but with conflict, unity will rise. Allow me to introduce myself. I am the Tainted Gospel, born from the chaotic corners of the primordial universe, but I do recommend that I am referred to by my Earthly name - Akizuki Akira."

Hospitaller listened intently. Though mentally she was already struck dumbfounded. (Was not the gospel known to humanity written way after that?) Hospitaller thought to herself, mentally speaking in Latin.

Undoing the dainty binds on some sort of cardboard box. Akira motioned for the three at the entrance. "Take a seat, dark denizens. Because as of this instance, our first sabbath will finally COMMENCE! Time to unleash this grand Pandora's Box!" She said with bombastic grandeur.


Standing behind the other two members at the door, Hospitaller could only tip her head to the side as her confusion mounted.

"...Cultist Club?" She asked. Starting to think she was in the wrong place.
 
The small, childish girl that seemed to be in charge finally invited them in. This was the supposed all-powerful one? Cute. Arthur peered into the room, taking in the decor. Not to say there was much. It kept the room darkened, though, which was nice. Too much light hurt his eyes. Seemed to have a penchant for using the terms "dark" and "denizen" to describe the new members. He took note of the stray spirit dressed like an overly flamboyant Mozart enter the room as he turned to address a voice down the hall. He turned to see a girl on the taller side of short wearing the school uniform and a bizarre tiara-like object on her head. Her aura was powerful, it was obvious she was hiding something.

"Occult Club," he called to her, "But close enough. Care to join? We seem to just be about to open what the leader has referred to as 'Pandora's Box'." Stepping swiftly inside, he found a place to sit as asked and watched as the box was open. He was struck as though an ocean wave had rushed toward him, beginning to break just as it crashed into him and sent him a step or two back. What could have possibly cause such a wave of power? Did this girl, this Aizuke Akira, live up to her reputation?
 
"Now that we have gotten to know eachother better I believe we should continue making plans for delivering the cats" Johnathan began to talk again "Were there are quiestions there is a reason for them to be asked." Johnathan then turned toward Sayuri "Why did you specifically say terrorist eldrich abominations with nuclear bombs are involved? Are they near by? How likly are they to engage us and what is it they want? Why are you the only one who knows about them and who do you work for?"

Johnathan did't know much about interdementional travel. Okay he did'nt know anything about interdementional travel but what he does know is that Sayuri said the terrorist eldrich abominations with nuclear bombs were coming to Earth from somewere else and that Sayuri tries to bring things back to her world aka not Earth. Sayuri aslo said that she got her powers from someone else who was most likly the one calling the shots for this whole thing. Johnathan didn't trust Sayuri to begin with and it looked like his suspicions were right. He tried not to look suspicious but Jonathan stared at Sayuri while he slowly reached inside his pocket and gripped the hilt of his knife.
 
"She was being sarcastic. As in those aren't things that are actually happening."
Oyama was about ready to face-palm at this point. Did this guy just not know anything about life outside the military?
"She was trying to make a joke. One that's clearly gone over your head."

What was bothering him was that Sayuri said she had magical powers. Well--technically that she had received them from another power. That seemed a little crazy. I mean yes, he could draw a 15 foot tall death-dealing machine out of a separate dimension but . . . okay no when he put it that way it didn't sound so crazy.

"In the interest of expediency, I would simply drop the subject Jon. I find "sarcasm" a difficult human concept to grasp as well, though this is the first time I have met a human that had difficulty with it."
 
[BCOLOR=transparent]Johnathan blinked once and audibly sighed. It seemed as though Oyama wasn't going to stop his pointless comments.[/BCOLOR]

[BCOLOR=transparent]"IOS it's interesting that you decided to speak up now when your unsure about this yet you kept quiet when you knew I was right earlier. However sarcasm is a difficult concept to grasp so I'll work this one out for you. Sarcasm is defined as the use of words that mean the opposite of what you really want to say especially in order to insult someone, to show irritation, or to be funny." Johnathan said as if he were reading a dictionary "It makes no logical sense for someone to try and make a mission brief amusing as such an action can not improve a strategy or offer any other usefulness. So if she was being sarcastic, like you think, then that means she was trying to be hostile which just makes her more suspicious so shouldn't you be interrogating her with me?"[/BCOLOR]

[BCOLOR=transparent]Johnathan already guessed that Oyama wasn't that rational but he expected more from IOS. Then again it would be foolish to trust a machine to understand something so human. [/BCOLOR]
 
Sayuri:

Sayuri sighed. "I wasn't really being sarcastic either," she said. Was I? Sometimes her (much) older half came through in quite inconvenient ways. "Well...maybe not completely sarcastic? When I came in late, you started acting as if that meant the whole world was in danger. Everyone else was acting as if we are just bringing cats to people and that you should 'just lighten up.' So I was asking you, if there was some urgent threat involved with bringing these cats to people that required absolute perfect timing. I was not telling you there was a nuclear bomb or eldritch abominations from the Temple of Yog Sothoth." Wait, does this world actually have a Temple of Yog Sothoth? DON'T ASK THAT! "I was asking if some threat like those was present.

"Do you have...simulations where you come from? Something like...uh...war games that aren't actually wars that your people can use to analyze hypothetical situations and prepare for them if they happened? Like, 'What if the enemy tries to move their army through a desert to get around our fortifications?' or 'What if we got such-and-such country to join our side?'" They'd have to be able to do war games, right? Otherwise they couldn't do strategy. Unless...maybe he's a robot? "So, I was asking you about hypothetical scenarios, to find out if this situation was like one of them. Does that make sense?"
 
[BCOLOR=transparent] Johnathan shot Oyama a quick smirk. Maybe now that kid will start listening to what Johnathan was saying.[/BCOLOR]

[BCOLOR=transparent]"No I'm afraid this isn't a simulation which is why we can't afford anything bad happening that we didn't account for." Though Jonathan was against giving a possible enemy more information he continued " We did have simulations though they were mostly for mental and field training as it isn't possible to simulate an entire war. No, It's strategy meetings like this, well not exactly like this, that have been proven to work best as it allows us to examine every possible idea. So I'll ask you one more time to answer my questions, who are the terrorist eldritch abominations with nuclear bombs, what is it they want? and who do you work for?"[/BCOLOR]

[BCOLOR=transparent]Johnathan was beginning to suspect that terrorist eldritch abominations with nuclear bombs might not be human especially since they didn't originate from Earth though he wasn't going to let Sayuri know exactly how much he didn't know.[/BCOLOR]
 
Much to the ghost's surprise, two of the people that entered the room seemed to notice her presence. Not that this was anything she'd allow them to think she was worried about anyway. Escape was as simple as flying up through the ceiling anyway. The fact that they could see her revealed a lot about them though. Everyone who'd exhibited signs of acknowledging her presence was a self-proclaimed "spirit hunter" that tried to put her to rest, only to be met with an untimely death. Ignoring all these thoughts, she simply smiled an innocent smile and waved as though her presence there was every bit as normal as theirs.

Giving it no more thought, her attention shifted back towards the female in the center of the room as she started speaking again, mentioning "dark denizens" and a "Pandora's Box". Trau wasn't entirely sure what this girl was going on about, but she definitely seemed to be the one the other spirits told her of. Perhaps she was so gullible that she'd display one of her abilities so brazenly before supposed strangers.

The short girl asked what the club was, only to receive and answer from the tall man in the robe. Seeing no reason why she had to keep quiet herself, she spoke. "Ah, what exactly is that box? Does it possess any power?" Her demeanor was calm, and not revealing as to her inner nature. Of course, anyone that could see spirits and was worth their ability was usually able to tell if a spirit was of ill intent. It didn't matter much though. Here before them, they had a girl referring to herself as the "Tainted Gospel".
 
Accepting the Robed Man's invitation to join into the club. Hospitaller followed after his flowing cape into the Occult Club Room. Continuing the trend, she took a seat at a table in the room before the girl in the fancy dress opened her 'Pandora's Box'. Hospitaller too, couldn't help but be blown away - the Lava-lamps in the room were just so dazzling and interesting that her attention remained focused on those for the most part. The spirit, club leader, and man in robes certainly had things about them worth exploring - but the globs of neon colors bouncing about so lazily was just so pleasant to watch!

"Room. Magnificent!" Hospitaller said with a pleased expression. Turning to Akizuki and the others at the table. Assuming it was the club leader who had done all the decorating.

The' Pandora's Box' seemed to be the last thing on Hospitaller's mind by the looks of it. She was beaming with joy as the ceremony continued on.
 
Oyama let out an irritated sigh. Then, calmly and quietly, stood up and walked out of the club room.
"Oyama? Is it not impolite to leave the club room before dismissal?"
"I wanted to join a club to get away from the militaristic side of my life IOS. I didn't count on some nut being intent on dragging me headfirst back into it."
It was a shame too. Besides him, everyone else seemed like decent people he'd get along with. Eccentric sure, but nice enough.
"Disappointing. I had the chance to observe some interesting human reactions while in there."
 
Sayuri:

Okaaaay...somebody just failed a Turing Test. Except, if he was a robot, they'd have just downloaded his military training instead of waiting five years. Unless he's, like, a clone soldier? Huh...that actually makes sense. They pull him out of a bubbly vat with the body of a 12 year-old, teach him how to talk and the basic kindergarten stuff until he's five, then send him to boot camp... I'd better explain things slooowwwly and carefully and without any metaphors.

"I'm sorry, but you're not understanding me. I was asking you. If--if--there were threats. Like terrorists or eldritch horrors. Not saying there were any. It's OK, you can stand down from Red Alert. And I'm not--" Before Sayuri could fumble through an attempt to explain that she wasn't 'working for' anyone without triggering Johnathan's Kill The Spy conditioning or whatever, the other military guy got up and walked out of the room, talking to his A.I. collar thing. Her heart sank.

"I'm sorry. You were all doing fine before I got here," she said softly. "Please excuse me." She got up and went after Oyama. "Sir? E-excuse me," she said, trotting to catch up. "I'm sorry I ruined the meeting for you. I should be the one to go...so the rest of you can get back to planning your activity."
 
"Oyama. One of the females from the room is running after you. ID'ed as 'Sayuri'."
"Huh?"
Oyama stopped and turned around right as Sayuri caught up with him and started apologizing. He merely smiled and shook his head
"You've got nothing to apologize for. That guy just . . . reminds me too much of why I wanted to join a club in the first place. If you hadn't walked in we probably would have butt heads sooner rather than later anyway."
 
Ehehehehe

Akane thought her sister was odd. These guys were kind of... well, let's just say that at this moment, she must as well be chilling with her sister.

But hey, these guys were fine young men and women. No harm, right? It'll change in due time.

She then notices that this commotion lead to Oyama leaving the club room, while Sayuri followed.

"It's a little hard to explain things right now," Akane said to Jonathan, "something tells me you need this club. And I think my club members need me."

With that, she too, decided to leave the room to check on Sayuri and Oyama.


"You three alright," she enquires politely, "I think Jonathan will need this club. And this club will need you. Pep up, kids! This may be a hectic day, but I'm sure there'll only be more hectic days in the past and future~ ☆! Alright, I think I worded it badly but..."


"BEHOLD!"

Akira unleashed... a cat-eared headband? Then she put it on while purring with a little 'nya' emerging from her mouth.

"These artifacts that have once belonged to a kindred spirit... are in my hands. I see. Their properties are mysterious, but I doubt they have any harmful effects on the user," Akira spoke. She then took out 7 other similiar headbands. "Wahaha..." She looks at Hospitaller, then the others, "so, you wish to play with magic?"

After placing the cat-eared headbands on the table for the others to try on, she then takes out another piece of equipment.

"H- huh?! WAH!"

One could see Akira's face turn red as she hid the odd thing behind her back. One could only see a mere glimpse of it - it seemed to be some sort of... bikini armour? Lingerie set? Pretty lewd for a kid. It was some form of outfit of such shape description, if you were observant.

"I really have no idea what that is. I guess I'll just keep it. Waha... wahaha..."
 
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Trau looked at the headbands that were being pulled out and sighed. Sure, she'd be able to pick one up. Wearing it was a different story. Though she was allowing herself to be seen by normal humans, she still couldn't get away from the fact that she couldn't put the headband on.

Picking it up anyway, she looked over the strange item before feeling a strange sensation to at least try it on overtook her. Disliking this sudden feeling of longing, she put the headband down and shook her head. "I'm sorry. I'd prefer not to put things on my head. Even though I'm here in the club, I'm not as all into magic and such as you are." A forced laugh escaped her lips before her attention turned towards the other two currently in the room. The young blue-haired girl seemed to have no problems with trying on the headband, finding much delight in all these charades. Trau had to force back a smirk. 'For someone who can see me, she doesn't seem to have any problem with my presence...' True as it may be, she wasn't going to fall for the whole lower your guard motif. She'd move towards Akizuki to have some security, but she didn't want to raise any troubling suspicions.
 
Akibo was standing back in the occult club room, watching the scene unfold with a bemused smile on his face. The individuals gathered were an eclectic bunch for sure--a good place for his child to learn before running rampant across the ryutaiders. He held back a chuckle in his throat when Akira hid the object.
"Please mistress, show us what grand item of power you hide behind your back. It would be very upsetting to not see the full extent of your abilities."
As he spoke, on of the headbands was picked up between two fingers, and Akibo debated whether or not such a thing would complement his current attire.
 
Hayazaki sighed and approached Johnathan. "Look, relax. We're just delivering cats. No need to get so worked up, right?"
She tried to smile reassuringly, but his paranoia was kind of bothering her.
 
[BCOLOR=transparent]Johnathan decided to let Akane deal with the spies instead of apprehending them himself after all this would be a good test of her abilities.[/BCOLOR]

[BCOLOR=transparent]Then Hayazaki said something that bothered John. She wasn't the first one to tell him to take things less seriously but everyone kept insisting that he relax more. Johnathan just didn't understand why. He was confident that he was acting under normal stress levels, though if everyone was making the same observations then perhaps it warranted further investigation.[/BCOLOR]

[BCOLOR=transparent]"Noted miss Hayazaki I will perform a personal examinations later tonight to determine and eliminate any possible stressing factors. In the meantime could you pass me the cat profiles, I'd like to select the cats I will be guarding."[/BCOLOR]
 
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