Blake had actually fallen asleep with her eyes closed ages ago
The faunus' stare, regardless of how objectively she wanted to avoid it, became a bit more guarded after that, her shoulders a little more tense. No matter how sympathetic she felt towards the other girl, or how much her sense of justice wanted to right the perceived wrong that had been dealt to Shiki, having a sociopath admit that she was the target in her sights set off a few old survival instincts that were still hiding in the back of the faunus' mind. She slowly nodded and leaned back into her seat, closed her eyes, and actually weighed Shiki's words.
...
After a few moments she cracked one eye open, willing the tension in her back to disappear. She'd avoided talking about herself or Remnant as much as possible while at this stupid camp. Others had been keen to talk about theirs (She felt more educated about WW2 than she figured most kids actually from those guys' world was), and while they had been interesting she hadn't seen much of a point of doing so herself. It was clear that most all of them came from a world that was similar to the camp's, one without the walls, or grimm, or faunus, or aura. All it would have been if she'd share would be a crazy, fantastical sounding story from the far less friendly cat eared girl in the camp, good for a bit of entertainment or a laugh at best. There wasn't a reason for the others to care, and with murderers hiding in their midst she wasn't entirely sure she wanted anyone to know or care
Plus needless to say she hadn't been in much of an entertaining mood during their little vacation here : |
The aformentioned survival instincts still honed in her mind were currently beating over the head with the idea that 'the whole not telling murderers things applied in this exact situation', but she ignored it as best she could and forged onward. If she was really going to make this offer, there were things that needed to be explained anyway. And... maybe it'd help a little bit for Shiki to understand a bit more why Blake was offering in the first place.
"I'm not going to act like I understand how that feels. There's no... monster in my head that I have to struggle with, some other side of me, or weird compulsion to do something I don't actually want to do or think is right." She smirked a little bit, mirthless as it was. "No, I did the wrong thing of my own, stupid free will."
She glanced up and tapped one of her ears lightly with her finger, the appendage flicking of its own accord. "I think I mentioned earlier that these were the cause of a lot of grief for me. There's a whole race of people on my world like this, that have a little bit more than just human in their genes. We're different, a little bit animalistic. I, for example, am a pretty fervent fan of fish" she added dryly, an actual smirk this time before it faded. "...But most humans take one look at us and assume that little bit of animal makes us beasts. Monsters, slaves to primal desires and stupid animals of diluted intelligence. Anywhere we go we're treated as second class citizens at best, and slave labor at worst. Even after a war that ended with our supposed freedom, faunus still get shunted into jobs in mines working with extremely dangerous substances for pay that doesn't even cover the basics, and we still do the work because no one else wants to hire a filthy animal, and-" She took a deep breath, realizing that she was clutching the seat between them hard enough that if it was any harder she was gonna start tearing the upholstery. She was letting herself get off topic, and she slowly slid back into her seat and relaxed again.
"...And while their are faunus who've given up and accepted the fact that things won't ever get better, there's others who were determined to stand up for themselves. I was one of them, or at least my younger self acted like I was. It was a protest group called the white fang. We picketed, went on strike, and basically made as much noise as possible, forcing people to look us in the eye and say we didn't deserve better. It started small, but soon whole mines started to shut down. And... it worked." She said with a small smile. "It was small steps, but things started getting better. faunus' started getting the rights to own businesses, the mines started promising better conditions. But it was slow. People still looked at us with fear or derision, and those who did get out of the mines found every step of the way impeded by bigotry and belligerence. Some in the white fang thought that meant we were failing, that we needed to do more than just stand in lines and shout if we wanted to get what we wanted. Enough that leadership changed, and with it, our tactics."
The smile was gone again at this point. Blake tone and face was almost neutral, almost like a history teacher recounting something that happened long ago save for the frustration that was boiling in her eyes as she looked out the window or at her lap. It was silly to feel guilty recounting actions that happened in a world Shiki'd never been to, to an openly admitted murderer. But it was there.
"It started small too. The harshest overseer in a mine might have showed up one morning with bruised ribs and a nicer attitude. A shipment might have gone missing, and the workers of that would have been able to afford their food for a whole month without worry. But that wasn't the change we wanted, it was just small works, fairy tale nonsense. It needed to be louder. People needed to know it was us, that we were sick and tired of being pushed around."
She took a deep breath and stopped her little eye avoidance dance.
"So we got louder"
There was a bit of fire in her voice as she continued "Shipments were destroyed rather than stolen to send a message. Higher ups in the mining companies who continued their revolting practices despite that started to disappear. Safe houses and armories were set up, security footage stolen and doctored to make things seem even worse than they were, workers led to revolts rather than strikes, all under the white fang flag. And I was there. I was good at it too. security systems sneaked past. empty buildings destroyed. droids ripped apart and guards beaten down if they got in my way. And all that time I thought I was doing the right thing, that I was the hero of the story. I ignored the others that were killing, pushing it off as either rumors or necessary evils, right..."
she laughed, slumping backwards in her seat and covering her face
"... Right up until I had to pull the trigger myself. It wasn't till then that I opened my eyes. It was such a big job, a whole train's worth of dust, the stuff from the mines. I was nervous, and excited, with my best friend at my side. It went perfect too, the security robots not even a close to a match for us. And then... Well... we weren't there to steal it like I thought. He brought explosives, apparently to blow the whole train once it reached its station. I-I... it... it hit me like well, heh, a train. This wasn't some rumor or news story. This was me and my best friend, about to slaughter dozens, maybe hundreds of people. And not the people who'd put this awful system in place, not the people who were at the top and had their heel on faunus necks, just... people. With friends and family, just trying to live their lives and find their own happiness. And we were supposed to end that for... for what? To send a message? to the people who'd already shown they didn't care what happened to others so long as it pushed the bottom line? Why would they care? What was this going to do except make them angry? After years of turning a blind eye or rationalizing the evils that I helped along, it wasn't until I was forced to face my hypocrisy and do the act myself that I even considered what we were doing was wrong. What I was doing was wrong."
She took a few seconds to compose herself before she let her hands drop, staring Shiki down and almost asking her as if she really meant the question
"...So what was I supposed to do after that? I left, but that didn't make up for everything I'd already done. I'd spent my whole life fighting. It was all I knew. I couldn't just live a quiet life in some village or city knowing what I'd done, not without... doing something to make up for it. It may be for different reasons, but, well... you sound like you want the same. And, thankfully, in my world.... there's a place for that. There's something out there that needs to die, or it will destroy everything."
She leaned back forward and rested her arms on the seat between them again, with her head atop. "The faunus aren't the strangest thing in our world, and the tension between us and the humans is far secondary to something else. Grimm. They're monsters, and I mean that in the most literal sense. They roam by themselves, in packs, or hordes of thousands. Some are wolf-like, others birds, or scorpions, or things that are beyond definition or understanding. They grow to the size of buildings, with rumors that some in the seas dwarf whole islands. And even with our auras, our semblances, the dust, our weaponry and technology, all of that, humanity and faunus kind have been forced back into four small kingdoms. The older grimm are smarter than even we are, and they outnumber us a hundred to one. They're a constant threat, to every living being on the planet, and only two things stand between us and them. The armies of robots and soldiers, who fight valiantly on the walls and die... and the hunters and huntresses. Thats what I'm trying to be. We're specialists. We get put where the grimm are the worst, in small numbers, and we destroy them. We protect the smaller villages the armies cant get to. We seek out nests and burn and destroy. We track the larger hordes and keep tabs on the alphas to ensure there's warning when they rise up. We fight, we protect, and almost universally... we die. Its hard. the grimm are terrifying. The task doesn't seem like it'll ever have an end, and there are cults or extremists who think to use the grimm as weapons. But we do it anyways, because... well... its right. Its justice, in its own way."
She trailed off a bit after that, well aware she'd probably strung more words together in those five minutes than she had the entire time at camp before she cleared her throat.
"So... that. You say there's nowhere for a person like you. But with your abilities, well... there's a whole lot of people who'd still be alive if someone like you had been there to defend them, to kill for them. Just because you're a killer, that there's only one thing you think you can do... doesn't mean there's no way for you to do good and make up for what you've done. Your story doesn't have to end in darkness unless you want it to." She finished, and was almost earnest in her look.
"but you probably can't join the tournies if you do come sorry"