The Doctor is in!

Discussion in 'THREAD ARCHIVES' started by October Knight, Mar 4, 2012.

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    Hello, I'm Dr. Cat, M.D. I recently graduated from medical school with secondary degree in psychology. I am here to answer any medical or personal questions you might have. I am also great with relationship advice.

    So? What seems to be the problem meow?
     
  2. -fakes a sniffles and tugs Dr.Cat's fur- Doctor! I am in desperate need of your assistance! I get fatigue easily when I wake up and start doing the day's chores. Plus, I get a lot of headaches and migraine!
     
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    Dr. Cat recommends getting a good night sleep, coupled with healthy diet and exercise, this may remedy your fatigue. Also practice meditation, deep breathing! Meow!
     
  4. Thank you Dr.Cat! How can I repay you?
     
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    Your kind words are payment enough, my dear. Besides, I'm doing this for catmmunity service.


     
  6. Well it looks like at least one of my creations was a success. Unlike Vay.
     
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    *Coughs up a hairball* Success!


     
  8. Hey dude, my fucking cat only knows how to play the bitey faggot game with me, how do I get him to stop it and the rest of his "lol he's so cute and curious and playful!" behaviour that leaves my arms like I'm a heroin addict?
     
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    Cats are the worlds biggest trolls. They are selfish, controlling, needy, impatient and, as you have stated, abusive. Despite all this they are the most desirable pet in the world and the most clicked image on the net (Besides porn). I suggest you start using heroin right meow! It will make the relationship with your cat easier AND you'll have an excuse for the tracks.
     
  10. Holy fuck, Dr. Cat, if only I was a girl to suck your spiky dick! You rule!

    I know what to do with my life right now, I'll go shoot up some heroine, then I'll go put my dick in the cat's butt!
     
  11. Insanity? Language? Looooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooool

    Hey doc, I have four children, how do I solve this problem?
     
  12. Funny girl.
     
  13. DOCTOR CAT MD PERSONCAT I NEED YOUR ASSISTANCE! I JUST GOT BITTEN BY A BLACK MAMBA WHAT DO I *GURGLES AND COLLAPSES TO THE GROUND*

    Heeeelp.... meee....
     
  14. He's a psychologist, TK.

    But I guess you should probably take some Tylenol for the muscle pains.
     
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    If you'll note, as my last patient so kindly demonstrated, anal sex is a natural method of birth control. The kids you already have are not a problem, they are a result of not having anal sex.


    *Licks the wound*

    This isn't poison, it's syrup...and that's not a black mamba...It's an aunt Jemima bottle.
     
  16. Oh.... So... how do I pay? Credit or debit or cash?
     
  17. But my wife says I'm too big to go inside that hole...