The Confessionary

Discussion in 'THREAD ARCHIVES' started by Lady B, Feb 13, 2015.

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  1. Note: Before you get your debate gland all worked up, this isn't a religious topic.

    I simply though of making a thread where users of Iwaku could post various confessions, and perhaps gain sympathy, condolence, or perhaps forgiveness if you so like from the rest of the community. It can range from embarrassing and funny to sad, but nothing too serious. Confessions of murder and other crimes should be taken to the police.

    I'll start with a few confessions of my own.

    I'd like to confess that I ate my own boogers until I was 13 years old...

    I'd like to confess that sometimes when I'm bored, I pretend to be the host of my own talk show.

    Lastly, I'd like to confess that I sometimes still have dreams about my high school crush, some of which are inappropriate to describe here.
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  2. When I'm bored, I use a sock puppet and talk to myself.
  3. I too had the habit of nose picking. Eating too. While inherently disgusting and gross my doctor attributes it to my relative health since I rarely get sick.

    Would also like to admit I cheat in video games. If cheat engine can change a number I'll do it. This is usually after I've beaten it on my own power or lost progress.

    Promised my wife I would stop saving porn. Deleted it all and emptied the bin before a defrag. A year later I'm back up to 40gb of space. Not all of it tame by far.

    Sometimes I browse a persons profile and judge them based on postings and RP resume. If they have nothing I tend to decline any offers.

    When I walk my dog at night I stare at the sky hoping to see shooting stars. It's usually cloudy, but it doesn't stop me.
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  4. I have attempted suicide numerous times, but my video game prowess has always stopped me.

    I have a relatively strong Immune System, and I also attribute it to my former Nose Picking.

    I have several ideas for games, but don't know any coding.

    I am the hugest hypocrite since the Pharisees.
  5. ^ But I would like to add that all of mine are extremely inappropriate to put on here. I will say though, that in my dreams we do our own little form of roleplay where I'm the bad student and he's the teacher. >_>

    I bite my nails constantly when I'm irritated, and if I don't have any nails to bite, I chew on straws.

    I fall asleep thinking of thing to post for my roleplays.

    I too cheat in video games, especially if there's a cheat for money.

    I secretly like one of Britney Spears old ballads, and play it whenever my husband and I are mad at each other and I can't cry. o.o

    I've read the Tryelle series almost a half dozen times, even though the writing is the worst I've ever read.

    I will not wash my bras until they're all dirty so I can have a reasonable excuse not to wear one.

    I have fibbed to my kids and told them that medicine won't make them sleepy to get them to take it.
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  6. I also use Console command cheats in Skyrim. The only Game I'd ever do that in!
    I use TCL, and Tgm (Mainly for carrying things. I pick up SO much crap.
  7. I confess that, similar to how Bernkastel pretends to be the host of her own talk show, I pretend to be a famous guest ON said fake talk show. I always end up talking about my humble beginnings and how I was "discovered."

    I also confess that I cheat in video games.

    I text and drive. Speech to text where applicable, but sometimes I do use my hands.
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  8. Oh! Last one of mine! I am a compulsive liar when backed into a corner, and sometimes, I'll even go back on a previous lie to cover my tracks.
  9. I quit biting my nails after I met my future wife. Now I tend to chew or bite the skin around them until they bleed and hurt all the time. It's really bad since I'm exposed to germs and nastiness as a profession.

    A few of my wife's bras may have had some sabotage because she complained they were hurting. A snip here and a tug there so she would throw them out and go "free-boobin'" as I affectionately call it.

    I work in a school and am a smart ass to the kids. "What's that?" While we're moving a grill. "It's a grill, lad. Your mom will explain when your older."
    "What's with the BEARD, sir?" From a snarky middle schooler and her three giggling friends. Leaned over to her and said: "I don't know. What's with yours?" Her friends laughed at her all the way down the hall.
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  10. I will confess that I have nothing to confess. I forgot what I was going to say.
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  11. I toot in walmart and blame it on Gibs. .____.
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  12. I learned how to masturabate at an early age, 6~ish.

    Haven't stopped since.
  13. My first time doing the doozie was around age seven or nine with a girl in high her mother's bed...erm, sorry Mrs. Johnson. Really hope you washed those sheets that night.
  14. A rather odd one, but I was freaked out by penises until I was 20.....when I met my husband. There was a kid I used to play with when I was younger who, during a game of hide and seek, hid behind his door with his 'thing' out and pointed it at me when I came into the room. Took me years not to get sick at the thought of a guy being naked.

    I also hate doing dishes. I put them off until there is nothing to eat or cook on before I will wash the sink full that's built up. Usually I wash a little bit at a time.
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  15. I use walkthroughs to get through games quite often because I like to try and be a perfectionist and complete the games 100%. But I get mad at people that cheat in games. Fine line here.

    I have to sleep with a radio playing and a light on. I can sleep without them, but usually not in my own house. Before the radio, I always had a CD playing until I fell asleep.

    I'm somewhat germophobic. It's not horribly intense, but I don't fully believe that my dad cleans up properly when cooking and refuse to touch the kitchen faucet, and wash my hands after he touches the milk jug because he uses milk when making fried chicken and doesn't wash his hands first. I'll be damned if I get salmonella from a milk jug.

    I can't swim in deep water D: As such I refuse to swim in water deeper than 5 feet. It's mostly due to the fact I can't tread water and have 0 buoyancy.

    I am scared shitless of roller coasters.

    I'm a horrible person xD
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  16. 1.I still pretend I'm wielding a staff whenever I use a broom.

    2.At age 7 I used to cut out drawings and use them as toys.

    3.I still pretend I have a cape after I'm finished taking a shower.
    Just with less "I'm Batman" and more *Valiant voice* "I am Ser Knight!" (or something along the lines of that)

    4.I got the "I've seen enough hentai to know where this is going" joke at age 10.

    5.I occasionally deepen my voice on purpose, sometimes it's movie badass potential mainly... it's pretty bad...

    6.I punched and broke a laptop in 9th grade. (Out of fear. No screaming. Scary Maze Game.)

    7.I used to be afraid of Europeans, heck if I know why.

    8.I rarely use cheats but when I do it's game breaking.

    9.I have a tendency of burning or under-cooking things when I cook... So I don't cook, much.

    10.I'm self conscious. Even on here I'll just stop posting whenever I get the feeling I'm being annoying.

    And lastly, sometimes when I play V-Games I pretend to be a Game Guide(Or Let's Player, or etc.. Which, I'll admit is a bit silly.

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  17. I feel you bruh

    I feel you.
  18. I confess to being a sexy beast.
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  19. I'm afraid of men and I am not proud of it. :I It makes my life very difficult and I feel constantly guilty and ashamed. I just cannot interact with men normally.
  20. 1. When I am cleaning house and find odd articles of clothing in random places, I put it on instead of putting it up. Underwear is not included.

    2. I can't go to the bathroom in my own home unless my boyfriend has the volume of his computer turned up and a video/game playing.

    3. As soon as I get home from anything, the bra, shoes, socks, and pants come off.

    4. I'm addicted to cleaning out my ears. It feels amazing.

    5. I didn't know that men had balls until my boyfriend and I started to experiment (but not have sex) a year into our relationship. I was 16.
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