potassiumboron

~I'm drinking coffee on a trampoline~
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Monsters, supernatural, fantasy, romance, criminality, slice-of-life (modern or set in past, usually with some twists)
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Since arriving in the human realm half a century ago, all Cordelia had really done was party, or more generally, whatever brought her pleasure in life. Whether that was sleeping with a few humans whilst drunk off her face, or lounging in bed with an array of snacks watching corny rom-coms with Proteus.

Therefore, it was really no surprise that, despite already having been out every single night of that week, Cordelia was out at some LA nightclub on a Friday evening. Typically, she was sat with a cocktail in hand and drinking in the affections of a few amorous men whilst smugly sat in the VIP section of the bar, though from her casual glances across the room, she really wasn't too interested in the compliments and the attention she was receiving from the few men she'd decided to sit with. While she was perfectly happy to flirt and sleep with men, as she had done for the last fifty years already, it was a fact that she much preferred the company of women-- at least, a fact only Proteus really knew.

Eventually growing tired of having to, quite honestly, abide the company of the clingy humans, she turned her back on them rudely, cutting off their efforts of talking to her, and instead focused her attention fully on her best friend. When she wanted to talk to him, she expected to do so without anyone else listening in, hence why she made sure the boy flirting with him made a swift exit - one glare and a few cruel words easily did that.

"They're so clingy, aren't they? The little admirers? Honestly, I'd much rather someone who's less obsessive," she drawled slowly, running a finger along the rim of her glass, while her other hand fiddled with her newly straightened hair. Unlike her best friend who usually kept the same hair colour and style, Cordelia was renowned for changing things up, as evidenced by the rose gold highlights in her natural white hair.

"This place is awfully dull, Proteus, can't we go somewhere else? The music is slow, the people are boring, the drinks are tasteless. I'm wearing a thousand dollar dress, I'd like to go somewhere where it's appreciated," she continued, a whine developing into her tone as she appealed to her friend with a slight pout, before moving up closer to him with a purr.

For all the rumours that had spread about them in their own realm about them hooking up or being in some casual relationship, Cordelia genuinely hadn't done anything with Proteus other than share a few kisses when they were drunk or high off some fancy new drug. That didn't mean she didn't flirt with her best friend playfully, though - she really rather enjoyed doing that, just to have stories spread like wildfire about them. There was nothing she liked more than seeing her face in the magazines with some laughable story attached to it - it was always good to laugh about over breakfast.

"Or would you rather sit in the dark like some pathetic loser, because that's what we look like right now. Losers who've resorted to sitting in a dull nightclub."
 
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Much like her, Proteus was practically surrounded by admirers as he sipped his gin and coke. Despite the attention he was receiving, he, too, grew tired as he laid back in the velvet chairs.
The music was boring. The people were boring. The whole bar was boring, and he almost felt bad that the two men on his arms were trying hard to try and keep his attention. He had already had a pretty heated make-out session with a man he had met at the bar, and the fact that he seemed desperate to go further was a bit hilarious. He had gotten to the point where he tried to keep himself entertained by subtly running his fingers down the lap of said man, while casually enjoying a light kiss with the clearly desperate other man to keep his mind off his clearly bored expression, and possibly just entertain the fact that he had two handsome men clinging to him. He only really shifted his attention to the other once feeling the pressure of Cornelia on his side. Glancing over, he raised a brow slowly before taking another sip of gin-and-tonic set at the table besides him


"I think I'd like to go home, too. This is all boring, really. If I wanted to listen to dull music, I'd just scan through your record collection. All I want to do right now is take a nice bath, maybe watch the latest Dancing With The Stars episode, and enjoy some fine wine," he decided to coo back, as a smile slowly creeped. Once again like his friend, Proteus was aware of the watchful paparazzo that always loomed over them, and it didn't take a genius to pick out just who were the culprits. He even went out of his way to offer a wink to one, if only to stir up a bit more controversy.

After a moment of enjoying the close proximity, he did eventually pull away and stood up, pushing away the physically clinging admirers. Letting out a groan, he cracked his back with a satisfied sigh before glancing back at the two men with a feigned apologetic frown. After all, he didn't want to be as rude as Cornelia, but that didn't mean he was going to let the men have as they pleased. Instead, he had no problem linking his arms with the fellow God and practically tugging her to his side, his hands gripping hers hard. "Let's just go home, yeah? This is getting far too boring, I'd rather be sleeping. Mm... How about you give me your numbers, eh?" He offered to the two confused humans, and offered a teasing wink. "I would love to be able to enjoy a full night with you, but I have some other priorities."
 
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Rather than just stand back and let her best friend take the numbers of the far too desperate men, Cordelia bitterly grabbed his hand to tug him away, and not without a fierce 'stay-the-fuck-away' glare towards the now even more confused men. She did have a tendency to be cast as a bitch, but she didn't really see that label as something to cry about. She knew she was vastly superior to these humans, so why bother getting upset about a comment a minority of them made about her?

Simple answer: she really didn't. And she really didn't care about pulling her friend away from taking their phone numbers. She was quite happy to let Proteus do whatever he desired, but she also knew what was best for him, and getting involved with men like that, who grew obsessive and creepy, wasn't worth the hassle, however handsome they were.

"Honestly, have some standards. They're freaks. They're the sort of guys who'll call you in the night and park outside the house to see you. Total losers," she huffed, turning an accusatory glare in his direction once managing to part the crowd and find a quieter area of the bar, only really staying inside with the intention of having one more drink before heading home. That night had been a bitter disappointment, but one more dose of alcohol would help both give her a little buzz and forget about how boring everything had been. Grabbing an abandoned shot nearby, she wiped her mouth with the back of her hand and frowned out over the crowd, tapping her foot impatiently against the ground. "You'd think there'd be one cute girl in here, wouldn't you? Or a guy who wasn't so fucking clingy, or at least one person who was worth a second of our time. I might just call that girl from last week-- and I never do that. I never call people up myself, that's desperation, but fuck it, I'm desperate. This bar sucks, and I blame you for that, you jerk."

Rolling her eyes softly with a quick kiss to his cheek, she happily linked her arm with his to stroll from the club, making a mental note never to return... unless they hired some cute new bar staff, anyway. "Can we go to that adorable bakery and pick up a lemon meringue pie? I could do with a treat."
 
With an audible whine in protest, he offered a cheeky wink and a wave goodbye when he felt himself being tugged away. The two men were beyond attractive, and he'd be lying if he said he didn't enjoy being practically buried in swarming bodies. When you have such low self-esteem, it's one of the few things that validate you.

"Oi, I think that would be sweet! I mean, having some handsome men step into the doorway, flowers in hand as they drop to your knees? That would be so nice," he cooed at the thought, while offering his drink another small sip.

"You're really upset about this place, huh? Don't get me wrong, it's pretty boring, but you just want to leave so you can talk to that red-headed girl from last week. You've been acting rather strange ever since she went home, maybe you're in love?" He teasingly suggested, though not without a wide grin. "Hm... Yeah, let's get some proper cookies, too. Something warm and toasty, since someone won't let me have a proper companion to keep me warm tonight. I mean, you'll do I guess."
 
"Don't be so disgusting. Honestly, say that again and I'll cut out your tongue and feed it to the stray neighbourhood cats. Don't think I won't. I love you, you're my best friend, but I'm also not going to sit back and let you say awful things like that," she hissed back at him, her brows furrowed together at the very insinuation that she may have caught feelings for some girl. Yes, she'd seen the red-haired human far more than any other casual lover she had, and sure, said girl worked at the bakery that Cordelia seemed eager to head towards, but that was all there was. The girl was far prettier than any other lover Cordelia had, which explained why they met up more than anyone else, and Cordelia had a sweet tooth that items at the bakery solved. As far as she was concerned, there was no secret adoration for the human, and she was perfectly happy to threaten Proteus with violence if he so much as teased about that.

"She's simply the prettiest of the humans I'm currently with and around, that's all. She is an aspiring model, so it'd be daft of me not to take notice. She might make it big. I'd like to be on good terms with a worldwide famous model, Proteus. I'm thinking ahead, strategising," she purred, curling her arm up closer around his and making sure to press their bodies closer together, if only to protect from the wind - she did catch colds and the flu incredibly quickly, and she took any measure to avoid that. Being close to Proteus really wasn't a hard one to do, though.
 
"Sure, sweetheart," he replied, this being his turn to roll his eyes as they strolled into the rainy February weather. Covering his head with his jacket warily, he easily flipped out his phone to at least pretend to call an uber. Leading Cornelia down the street to an abandon alleyway, it didn't take a genius to know that Proteus was not riding in some stranger's car, and one perk of being an immortal God was the fact that transportation was a pretty easily accessible. So, within a matter of seconds, they were outside of the cutesy bakery, it's 50's neon sign blinking welcoming.

Hurrying into the bakery, he shook the water off of his jacket with a soft whine. Running his fingers through his hair, Proteus easily wandered to the counter without a question or a care. He had shown up there plenty of times, thanks to Cornelia, and he would admit just how dependent on the homemade cookies. Shooting a casual glance to his friend, he moved his head to motion the other to order.

"Let's just get some sweets and get home, I'm tired. I want a nice bath, some cookies, and a proper night's sleep." He murmured flatly, expecting the girl to flock to the cashier and immediately flirt. Meanwhile, he was forcefully refused to be able to have a fun night with two model-worthy men.
 
As vehement as she had been in her denials and refusals, it didn't stop Cordelia casually leaning on the bar with a flirty grin to the red-haired server, making her flirtation less than subtle as she picked out her usual order: a box of warm choc-chip cookies and a vanilla milkshake. Consuming that much sugar at night wasn't wise, but she'd had enough alcohol to keep her up for a few hours anyway, so chilling out with some calorific cookies with a corny rom-com on seemed ideal as far as she was concerned. Sure, going home with the server would be preferable... but she didn't think it would be very nice to third-wheel Proteus when she'd essentially severed his chances of getting laid tonight. She was usually selfish, but when it came to her best friend, she did think and make choices to help, rather than hinder, him.

While she was distracted with her flirting, and while Proteus stood behind grumpily, in bundled none other than Daeron, nervously keeping his eyes to the ground as he all but burst into the warmth of the cute bakery. The God had been in the human realm for a while now, really. Despite the others presuming he'd get straight to work in conversing with the runaways, Daeron hadn't really thought that was a good idea. He'd kept his eyes on them from afar, sat in the same nightclub and observed them, but thus far had made no approach, deciding it was best to acclimatise himself among human culture and seem relatively used to it before trying to pass himself off as a human. He had the whole backstory rehearsed with a few Gods before he was sent, and the last month had been spent just experiencing as much as he could. Granted, he'd learned he liked nothing more than curling up under the blankets at his downtown LA apartment with some chocolates and a good book, but he'd forced himself out of the house each night to gain experience, despite it being his idea of a nightmare.

His determination to head to the bathroom of the little bakery was hindered by the fact he'd obliviously barged straight into the Gods, specifically directly into Proteus. He was a good few inches taller than him, and maybe a little more sturdier (though not by much), but there was a stark difference in how they held themselves. Despite his insecurities, Proteus at least feigned confidence brilliantly - Daeron was hunched over, buried in a large, baggy sweater, his face hidden behind his shaggy hair, and his eyes avoiding making eye contact if he could help it. Of course, the moment he realised he'd wandered straight into the paths of the pair he was supposed to grow close to, he couldn't help but audibly curse aloud. He was pretty sure he had bad luck anyway, but this pretty much confirmed that nothing really went his way.

"...Sorry, I... yeah, sorry--"

"You want to watch where you're going, hm? Honestly," tutted Cordelia, eyeing the boy over for a few long seconds. When deeming him uninteresting and dull, she turned away with an unsubtle grin to her friend in ridicule of Daeron's generally dishevelled appearance. Daeron saw that, of course, but he didn't really care. The only thing he cared about was avoiding being found out - he was pretty sure the Gods in front of him would take their anger out on him, and he wanted to avoid a beating if he could help it. "Apologise properly and get lost, hm?"

"...I did apologise. I said sorry, I didn't mean it," responded the taller God, trying to come across as cute and as polite as he could manage. He was well aware at this point from the stories he'd heard in his realm to the stories in the human magazines that Proteus was a sexual person who didn't catch feelings easily. How he was supposed to catch his attention and integrate himself in Proteus' life was nigh-on impossible, but hey, he had to give it a shot, didn't he? That said, he wasn't helping himself by snapping and reacting to Cordelia's general bitchiness, which is what he found himself doing. Like her, he did say what was on his mind without filters to stop it. "Maybe you're going deaf, you know? Because I did say it. If it's not satisfactory enough for your fucking highness, then there's not much else I can do. I'm not fucking begging your forgiveness, jeez."
 
"Whoa, whoa, whoa. Let's all take a deep breath, shall we? No reason to start such a commotion in this innocent little bakery, now is there?" Proteus insisted, as he looked away from the spinning cakes in their case. Much like Cornelia, his initial reading on the man was that he was far too quiet for his type, not to mention his style? Sure, the structure of Daeron's face was incredibly cute - he had always immediately went to look at the general structure of whatever man he saw, since most of them tended to be models - but it was clearly pale. Not the 'fragile, doll like' pale that he noticed growing in trend in the past decade, but rather the kind of pale that often connected to, say, someone sick locked up in their house in the winter. He was ready to simply disregard the man and return to the cakes curiously, until hearing Daeron snap back so angrily. Sure, he was a bit peeved at his rather rude response to his best friend, but she could stand up for herself. What he did find interesting was just how unafraid he was of talking back. His eyes almost immediately lit in curiosity, though he kept his expression neutral as he moved to lean against the counter table.

"No need to get so upset now. How about a nice croissant, my treat?" He offered, once wandering over to the other God. "You don't seem like the sweet-tooth type of guy, after all. We can all get some nice cocoa, warm treats, and maybe you can come and enjoy some wine with my friend an I~?" He soon cooed, before shoving his hands in his jacket's pockets, offering his trademark smile. "I mean, you look like you need to be dried off, after all."
 
Brow raised, Cordelia leaned against the counter herself with milkshake-to-go in hand, casually sipping on the straw as she took her time fully examining the strange, dark-eyed man in front of her. Similarly, his little outburst had caught her attention, though she was surprisingly not mad about the insult hurled her way. In her eyes, this boy clearly didn't have a clue who she was, if he snapped at her like that, which she did find beyond irritating. She liked the fact she had this local celebrity status, so feeling like she wasn't known by someone who appeared rather young was... annoying.

However, she found that was contrasted effectively by her own intrigue. Even people who didn't know her didn't snap at her like that. She did have an intimidating aura when she wasn't flirting or being playful, so most people were dissuaded from taking up their own grievances with her. For a random stranger to do just that with such anger, whilst also looking like some innocent little butter-wouldn't-melt human? Of course it was interesting--

But not interesting enough to warrant her best friend bringing him home, hence why she shot Proteus a disgusted, bewildered glare. Sure, the boy was cute, but he was nothing like any man her best friend had been with in the past. He had no fashion sense, his personality and demeanour was withdrawn and awkward, and he looked downright sick. If that was the sort of person her friend wanted to bring home, Cordelia was prepared to smack some sense into him and get him to higher his standards.

"You are not bringing this boy home with us, I won't allow that. Where the hell are your standards, or are you just desperate now? I'm bitterly disappointed in you, Proteus. You're worth far more than this cretin, okay? Grab your things, we're going."

Despite being warned that Cordelia was often bitchy, Daeron did feel like he'd been duped, because both the Gods were worse than he imagined. He wanted to just disappear, crawl up in bed and not care about the consequences that followed once the pair realised that he'd been sent to lower their guards. Though, he had to care about the consequences. Having seen the human world, he really didn't want to get banished there-- and that meant he had to at least attempt to get on with the plan, and there was now a golden opportunity to get closer to Proteus. Apparently, the little outburst worked in his favour, which was a positive sign. It meant that Daeron didn't have to pretend as much to be some sugary-sweet asshole.

"...I don't drink alcohol, but I do like cocoa," he quietly shrugged, trying his best to smile-- but (and as hard as it was to believe) he really hadn't properly smiled for years in other people's company. Faking that was a harder task than it seemed, which was why he settled for a nonchalant shrug instead. "And... I am sort of wet, so..."
 
Ignoring Cornelia's words, he was more focused on critically eyeing the other man. He already knew that Daeron was... different, compared to his usual visitors, but he had yet to meet someone who cares so little about someone's status. It was interesting, at least, and he wasn't a terrible person. if the poor man needed somewhere to dry off, why shouldn't he offer his services? Physically waving his friend off, he turned to the counter to buy a proper half a dozen cookies and immediately handed them over to the stranger.

"Mm... I guess you're out of luck, I'm sorry. There's nothing I'd rather have then you enjoying a nice evening, watching some TV, but it seems my roommate isn't in the mood," he whispered, thanks to their close proximity. "Do you have a number? Better yet, I'm sure you know my Twitter, yeah? Or have you been living under a rock, and don't know who we are? I'm a bit offended if that's the case," he tutted, before offering a wide grin nonetheless. "Let's just head out, Cornelia. This means you can't bring that girl, you realize that, right?"
 
Despite knowing his assignment and the fact he'd already wasted a month, it was hard to identify any emotion that second other than sheer joy, relief and elation. The last thing he wanted to do was spend another minute with this egotistical tosser and his bitch of a best friend, so being let down while having appeared to be up for heading with Proteus was brilliant. He'd caught the man's attention and could just 'coincidentally' meet him at a bar or a nightclub in the next day or two. Right now, he just wanted to get to his apartment, gather and collect himself, and then psych himself up for meeting Proteus again, where he'd have a conversation plan in place. The one thing he'd dreaded was the first meeting, but it had seemed to go relatively well... even if he'd decided within a second that he hated this God, he hated the Goddess with him, and he hated the two of them as a collective, too.

Having swiftly gathered the cookies, he was almost out the door with the most pathetic attempt of a smile on his face before being tugged on the arm by Cordelia. Assuming she was going to snap at him for not being gracious enough for her liking, he did ready himself for another verbal battle. He may have neglected social contact for centuries, and he may be known (via whispers and rumours in his realm) for being grumpy and constantly tired... but he wasn't afraid to defend himself should he need to, even if that was only verbally. Physically, he'd definitely embarrass himself against his fellow Gods. He wasn't the God of War, for crying out loud...

"I think you should come back with us," declared Cordelia suddenly, shooting her friend a rather intrigued smile. After all, she was curious to know if her best friend would go all the way with someone she thought was so below his standards, and admittedly, she wanted to see if Daeron, who she believed was shy and skittish, would be that spontaneous and daring. "I mean, I don't mind third-wheeling for the night. I have my rom-coms and a box of cookies to keep me entertained while you two get to know one another, hm? Now, you can't say I'm an awful friend, Proteus. I'm so very, very generous~"
 
Peaking up from his phone, Proteus did frown a tad. After all, that meant they actually did have to call an Uber. To be able to just appear at their condo, cutting their trip home in half, but alas. At least he'd be able to get to know this man better, and at least recover from the reluctant abandonment back at the club. His frown shifted to a grin instead at the thought, and he offered Daeron a playful wink.

"I promise you'll have a good night, yeah? You and I can really get to know one another. I mean, I'm sure you think it's strange to befriend a complete stranger, but I promise I'm not a bad guy. Cordelia here'll leave us be, so you and I can get real close," he purred teasingly, before reluctantly signing up for an Uber. Shooting the Goddess a subtle glance towards the clearly bored redhead, he went as far as to wink at his best friend. "Hey, maybe you could have a companion for the night, too? I mean, someone to watch some shitty rom-com with you? I'm sorry, but it'll be nice to have someone else watch your Adam Sandler movies. Oi, what's your name?" He blurted, immediately realizing just how dense he was. He always got the names of his admirers, to at least mention them on social media.
 
Of course he could have just said no, that he was, in fact, suddenly busy and remembered he had to get home. It'd probably lose him a lot of Proteus' intrigue, but he hated the guy, and he really didn't want to be in a situation where he felt uncomfortable... though thinking logically, none of this experience was comforting for him. He was away from home, surrounded by people in some hip, crowded city, having to engage in things he could only envision in his worst nightmare. If he had to put up with that, he may as well try and get the assignment sorted. The sooner the Gods came to drag these two back home, the sooner Daeron could return to his nice home in the mountains, with his books and his solitude... and the voices in his head, sure, but he'd become adept at ignoring them.

"...Ronald, but Ronny's fine," he explained, clutching the cookies closer to his chest as he awkwardly eyed the two Gods in front of him. The name was similar enough to Daeron for him to remember and not fuck up, and he had a relatively simple backstory if he became familiar enough with Proteus to discuss family. He couldn't exactly say that, hey, he was the God of Death and that they'd probably heard a tonne of bullshit rumours about him. At least not without fucking everything up, anyway. Shifting his weight between his feet, he tiredly managed another small, barely-there smile, while rubbing at the dark circles under his eyes. Just because he could ignore the voices doesn't mean they didn't keep him awake now and then, and, after centuries of infrequent sleep, he'd been left with the permanent shadows under his eyes-- though admittedly, it did suit his whole dark, gloomy aesthetic. "...I don't want to get in the way, I mean... I do know who you are, actually, and your lfie seems pretty busy, so... I don't wanna intrude..."

"You're not intruding. Not if you become one of Proteus' cute little lovers. Not that you're his type, you're very bland," shrugged Cordelia, having instantly become bitter again at her attention being directed to the server. If Proteus' hadn't nodded towards her, it would have been her automatic intention to invite her over, if only to hang out in bed and gorge on some popcorn and cakes. However, being notoriously stubborn, she was prepared to go to bed alone, if just to prove to her friend that she was in no way in love with the woman... though that infamous stubbornness only lasted a minute or two before she caved in and shot a grin back at her regular lover. "You can knock off early tonight, can't you? I have Bridget Jones, a bottle of champagne and a tonne of candy with your name on it, and I'm not really taking no for an answer. You can't just leave me with Proteus' and his low-standard new buddy, darling, I won't allow that."
 
"Yes, because your B-List actor girlfriend is just miles above Ronny here." The God replied flatly, before physically grabbing Daeron's shoulders and leading him towards the door, despite being the shorter of the two. Despite his weak appearance, Proteus just emitted enough force to really go against what should be the opposite. Notto mention, 'Ronny' seemed particularly weak-willed, until he snapped back at his best friend. It was because of that, that he wanted to see just how unique this man really was, oblivious that it was a trap.

Meanwhile, the girl who had become a regular eagerly moved to the back of the store to snatch her raincoat and hat, her smile wide in excitement. After all, Cordelia was perfect in the redhead's eyes, both for just general conversation and obviously for romantic reasons. Without question, much like the men at the club, the woman - who preferred to be referred to as Rosie - immediately wrapped her arm around Cordelia's in excitement, and even went as far as to kiss the Goddess on the cheek. Much to Cordelia's delight, most likely, Rosie could go on for a good hour of just good things to say about the woman, oblivious to the fact that her powers were probably a big reason for her to be attracted to Cordelia.

With a heavy groan, the water God waited impatiently outside the door, tapping his foot as he waited for the promised Uber to appear. All he wanted to do was get home, have some nice wine with this new man, talk about, have a quick fuck, then maybe text the other occasionally. It was crude, but it was just the sort of lifestyle he and his friend lived. It wasn't pristine, which was something he knew his father would probably rant and rave about back at Home, and the thought only made him smile. Little did he know the one thing that could end his fun taunting was besides him, in his arms, outside the cute bakery. "We're gonna have fun, okay?"
 
Even though he really rather liked the aesthetic of the bakery, and the fact it was often empty around this time of night, Daeron was beyond relieved to be outside, even if he didn't appreciate being pushed out there. He hated physical contact almost more than anything else, and the last time someone had put their hand on him, albeit accidentally, he had almost punched the unsuspecting human, even if he wasn't remotely violent. Having literally spent centuries on his own, to say he hated and felt uncomfortable around other people was an understatement. How he was supposed to get romantic with this man, he really didn't know yet-- and he really didn't want to do that. He knew he probably could manage a kiss or two, but sex? He'd already ruled that out and was figuring out the excuses to use when they got around to that expectation.

"I don't usually hang out with people, so I'm not sure how fun I am. I'm new here, and... I'm not really fitting in very well," he shrugged, while pulling his hood up to stop himself getting too wet. He did have to hide a smile that threatened to show at his words, because he knew well enough that no matter where he went, he'd probably not fit in that well. He didn't fit in with his own family, and even though his father was God of Darkness, the man had disowned his own son for being 'weird'.

"I do know who you are, by the way. I've seen the magazines and I've heard a lot about you," murmured Daeron after a moment or two, turning his attention to him in the effort to seem chatty and conversational - he was hardly going to win the other's affection if he sullenly frowned and glared out at the passing drunkards. He'd been taught by a few reluctant Goddesses how to 'seem normal', although, admittedly, their efforts would probably end up futile... especially when he didn't know how to stop himself saying what he wanted to. "...Don't you get embarrassed by all of that? I mean... isn't sex supposed to be special? I wouldn't know really, but I thought it was something special, not something you did casually so often with random strangers."
 
"Oi, I've had plenty of boyfriends in my days. Recently, it just seems that no one is good enough. I'm a picky person, I'll have you know," he scolded, pouting childishly at the accusation. It wasn't for long, though, as the frown only turned to a grin at his own clear lies. Wrapping his arm around Daeron's hips, he glance up at the other curiously.

"Hey, what else am I supposed to do? Make out with Cordelia? I mean, once in awhile, but I prefer a nice, bulky kind of person. I've met some wonderful women who I would love to just sit on my face and crush my skull. Alas, only some minor suffocation." He explained, clearly not bothered by the discussion. "I've had plenty of loving, steamy nights, but I simply don't like sleeping alone. Besides, it's fun. You need to loosen up, really. Maybe that should be my job~?" He purred
 
If the simple push out the bakery unsettled the boy, then being up close to the other like this was tantamount to torture in his eyes. To his credit, he lasted a few seconds in the affectionate hold, having convinced himself that, at some point, he needed to get affectionate with him, so why not start now? What he should have realised was just how much he hated it, which eventually led him pulling himself away without even trying to hide how annoyed he was.

"Yeah, well, I don't go hugging people I just met. It's fucking... it's fucking dumb, and I'm not sleazy like that. I'm not having sex with you, if that's why you think I'm willing to back with you. I simply thought it would be a nice use of my time to get to know you, maybe see if you were more than the whore the papers seem to subtly insinuate you are," he grimaced, straightening his baggy hoodie as best he could while simultaneously trying to calm himself down. He'd gone decades without so much as raising his voice, and yet, within five minutes, he'd had some angry outburst at the two Gods he was supposed to get along with and befriend. It was hardly a great start. "I... yeah, I don't want to do this. Your friend's a bitch, you're clearly a whore, and I'd rather spend my time with a good book and a cup of tea, frankly."
 
"I mean, you aren't wrong," Proteus replied, his grin never moving. In reality, the words did hit him pretty hard, and while he held his smile, he folded his arms stiffly as he stared out at the street. Adjusting his feet, he glanced over to Cordelia for at least some acknowledgment to his struggles, but was left to see the redhead casually chatting up his best friend. So, with a heavy sigh, he side-glanced Daeron.

"... I can still give you a ride. I'm not a terrible person, I'm not going to let you walk in the rain just because you think I'm some monster. I mean, I think it's quite commendable, in a way. After we drop you off, I don't expect to see you ever again, though. I don't like to surround myself with people so negative. Hey, you can go and enjoy your books and tea instead, yeah?" He continued, though his tone had quieted down significantly. He was more focused on his inner thoughts at that point, as was evident from him just locking on to a passing car.
 
He was always aware that he would, at some point, push things too far and have to return home with the message of failure... but fuck, even he didn't think he'd mess up this soon after meeting the guy! Nervously biting on his already short nails, he managed a few seconds of silence before exhaling hard. He hadn't apologised for anything in his whole life, not genuinely at least, but this was one time he knew he'd probably said things he really shouldn't have... even if every God in his realm had informed him that Proteus and Cordelia were bad news.

"I didn't mean that, I... I don't get out much, I don't have friends, I don't socialise. My family... they're not loving people, they didn't really raise me great, so... so I'm not good with contact or with people in general," he explained as sincerely as he could manage, which, given every word he said was true, wasn't too difficult to pull off. The smile he offered up after took a little work, but he felt fairly happy that it came across relatively genuinely, and if it didn't, he was certain that he could use his shit socialising skills as an excuse. "You're nice, and... and hey, who am I to judge what you do for fun, right? I'm just-- I'm not into that. I haven't had sex, I haven't been kissed, it's all... I'm not like you, so... so if you'd rather go hang out with some hip, trendy, model-worthy guy who can... I dunno, kiss you properly, that's cool by me."
 
"It's fine. I get it. You don't need to make up a fake excuse to make me feel better, yeah? Some people aren't into my lifestyle, which makes sense. Trust me, if I could find the perfect guy or gal who would sweep me off my feet and treat me right, I would. That just ain't going to happen though." He replied, growing stiff at the other's attempt to try and piece together the conversation. "Seriously, it's whatever. You're not a romantic kind of guy."

Proteus' hands shoved into the pockets of his jacket once the Uber rolled up, and silently motioned Daeron to join them in the car. It would be awkward, riding in the same car with someone who called him a whore, but he was keeping his promise. So, shimmying into the front seat beside the driver, he didn't want to be anywhere near Daeron, nor his best friend's affectionate display. Instead, he simply stared out the front window, his attention only landing on the other God for a brief moment. "Oi, where do you live?"