The City of Gods

She was extremely grateful that he'd moved the conversation on quickly from the talk of her sort-of girlfriend. While she was also pretty pleased with the compliment, given she did genuinely see herself dating this girl at some point, she was also far too embarrassed by it all to talk gushingly about her in the open.

So insulting the other God downstairs was a perfect way to take her mind off things.

"Oh, him? He's awful, don't even bother wasting your breath on him. He's not your type-- is he anyone's type? There's clearly a reason he's spent the thousands of years by himself in some shitty cave on the outskirts, darling. If he was some dreamy guy, people wouldn't banish him, would they? They'd put up with him."
 
"I mean, what even is my type?! Like... He's right, you know? I'm so desperate to have affection that I'll pick up any remotely attractive guy who treats me right. I just want someone to actually love me but that'll never happen, y'know? Now you've got a cute girlfriend who can clearly put up with you." He whined.


"Look, I just need to stop caring, huh? I'll never find a cute guy that likes me for more than my looks, and that's definitely not in the form of that grumpy douchebag. Do they think I'm that sad? That I'd fall for him super easily?"
 
"To be fair, sweetheart, you didn't make them think you had standards. I know you're not a whore, I've seen you turn away loads of guys because you're waiting for the right one to come strolling along, but-- you slept with my uncle, for instance, and he's awful. I don't really understand why I forgave you for that complete and utter betrayal-- maybe it's because I slept with your sister about a month before, so I didn't really have a leg to stand on," she smirked, offering another light nudge and, failing that didn't cheer him up, offered to pull him closer against her.

If anything was going to relax him, it was some good, platonic affection.

"I don't know why you don't just go on a nice date with Rosie's brother. He's a personal trailer, he's tanned, he's got that whole dark, brooding thing you like. What's the harm?"
 
"He probably doesn't like me, though. Plus, what if he gets to know me and realizes I'm just some loser? Or he finds out I'm a God? That would be awkward." He replied simply as he nestled his face into her collar, his eyes closing tight. taking in the embrace desperately, he did eventually climb over her to grab his pack of cigarettes.

"I'm not going to lie, Dee, your uncle was amazing. Pretty rough, actually - lots of pent up anger, I assume. Having a nice goblet of wine afterward. Didn't much appreciate the choking, if I'm going to be honest. That was pretty weird, but I promise I'd never tell anyone. I mean... who cares, though?"
 
"Yes, well, he was my uncle. It was awkward. Although, seeing my mother horrified that you'd slept with her brother was hilarious. She's such a prude. There's a reason I'm an only child. Sex scares her," she snorted, absently running her fingers through the other's hair. She would have demanded the same treatment, but the rain outside hadn't really helped her much - on drop of water and her straightened hair irritatingly frizzed up.

"Look, I'll find you some lovely, strong guy to whisk you up off your feet. That God downstairs probably can't even lift a bag of flour without getting an asthma attack, darling. He's so gangly and thin and... not your type."
 
"You will?" He whimpered, offering his best puppydog face as he peered up at her. "If you don't I'll be incredibly disappointed. I mean, you always boast and brag how you're a perfect match maker yet you haven't proven your skills. I mean, I'm not asking for much, Dee. I'm not looking for, like, a masterpiece. Just some guy who'll get to know me and shit."

With a whine, he did eventually close his eyes as he pulled her hips closer, his lips pursed tight as a part of him realized that he was just doing exactly what the grumpy God claimed he did. He was literally clinging to his best friend for affirmation, despite the fact that they were both adults. With a heavy sigh, he simply pouted and snuggled in close. "I'll go out tomorrow."
 
"Course you'll go out tomorrow, we've had breakfast in the same diner since we got to L.A, even when we've had fucking awful hangovers. And hey, maybe we'll just happen to bump into some 6'4" hunk who falls in love with you when he sees you. You are irrefutably adorable, you know. If you weren't into guys and if I were, I'd scoop you up and date you in a heartbeat. Literally, as it goes, given you're just so tiny and I'm like a giant," she snorted-- though her cheeriness lasted all of two seconds. The loud noise of the plasma TV downstairs was a source of instant annoyance, and ideally she'd storm downstairs to sort the situation out. The only reason she didn't do that was because she really didn't want to come face to face with Daeron until she absolutely had to.

"...Is he going to do that all the time, then? Put TV on really fucking loudly like he owns it?"
 
"Apparently," he grunted in response before burying his face further into Cordelia. Eventually, though, the annoyingly loud noises got to Proteus, causing him to sit up. "What's his damage? Is he doing this on purpose or is he just so old that he can't hear too well? I mean, fuck."

With a dramatic sigh, the God literally rolled out of the bed, landing on his feet with a groan. Tugging on a pair of pajama pants, he glanced over to his friend with a weary frown. "If something bad happens, I'm going to be so fucking pissed, understood? He clearly doesn't like me, though I guess he hates you, too."
 
"Oh, I take comfort in the fact he hates us both equally. I'd be a little pissed if he preferred you over me, you know? If someone wants to hate me, I want to share that experience with my best friend. That said, I'm not coming down there with you or I'm going to end up losing my shit, and I'm really tired," the Goddess groaned, feigning a dramatic yawn to make her decision to stay curled u pin bed justifiable and understood.

"And hey, try not to threaten him? He's an asshole and a bastard and all of that, but I don't need you to end up with a migraine. just keep your cool, okay?"
 
Rolling his eyes, Proteus wrapped himself up in his robe and slipped on his slippers before shooting the girl a glare. With clearly heavy feet, he rolled his eyes once again as he took his time wandering down from the uniquely designed stairs to his bedroom. Staring down at the bottom of the stairs, he hesitated before wandering back to the livingroom, his brow raised as he grimaced.

"... Can you, perhaps, turn that down? This isn't necessary, you know, and I know you're just doing it to be a dick. I told you that Cordelia and I would leave you alone, so I suggest you realize you're a guest in our home."
 
"...Oh, is it too loud? That wasn't intentional," he grumbled from beneath the mound of blankets he'd discovered behind the couch. Cordelia had put them there when they'd first moved in, just in case she had collapsed drunkenly on the couch and had something to keep herself warm.

Eyeing the fellow God quietly, he pushed back a smirk as he moved to lower the volume. Despite the other's reasoning, he hadn't at all been intentional-- but, hey, pissing Proteus off a little wasn't so bad.

"I can't hear very well. I have this thing where, you know, thousands and thousands of voices are speaking in my head. Perk of being who I am. Sorry if that, y'know, stops me hearing the TV," he drawled, making a clear effort to roll his eyes-- though he was sure that he wasn't going to get sympathy for the voices in his head that, rudely, never really chose to stop. It was mostly why Daeron didn't sleep. Hell, the last time he'd slept had to be a good fifty years ago at this point.
 
"Just keep it down from now on, yeah? Or get some headphones and listen through there. Some of us enjoy sleeping and need it to function. I really am trying to make this work, you understand? I'm not trying to start shit or be a dick. Just - you are a guest, so please take that into consideration," he replied slowly as he rubbed his temples. Sure, Gods didn't need to sleep. His father would often preach of its uselessness, and how simple naps were much better. That didn't mean Proteus didn't like to relax for a few hours and just lay in bed before going out and partying.

He did feel a tad bit for the other, though, hence his lack of anger-fueled swearing and his attempt to keep his voice in an even tone. Running his fingers through his hair, Proteus eventually deemed the situation fine and wandered out of the room, grimacing.
 
"Wait-- Wait, are you sure you don't want to sit down and watch whatever this show is about? I think it's a documentary, and, given how oblivious I am with human history, it might prove useful. I'll level with you. I... I don't like the nighttime, or the dark. I especially hate being alone in the dark," he muttered, blinking back the surprise (and the regret) that followed his abrupt admission, though now it was out in the open, there was little he could do but try and play it off coolly.

Though, given he'd trailed after the other with the blankets still wrapped around him, he was quite honestly the antithesis of cool at the moment.

"I've always hated it. My... My mother once locked me inside the cupboard in our home when I was a child for at least a week and it was cramped and cold and... dark. I've never liked it, so... if you chose to stay, I wouldn't... hate that."
 
Pausing, Proteus glanced over his shoulder to the other before letting out a heavy sigh in defeat. Tightening up his robe, he pulled his phone from it's pocket and took a seat on the expansive leather couch, putting his feet up with a tired yawn. Instead of making the effort to climb up the stairs back to his bedroom, he just figured it would be easier to simply text the Goddess the situation, even if he was more than reluctant about it. The whole scene was pretty sad, and Proteus was notoriously naive when it came to pathetic seeming people.

"... Sure. I hope you don't expect me to give you a whole history lesson on this human stuff, 'cuz it's hard to teach and I'm exhausted. Besides, I only know up to the 40's. Did some research in the papers when Dee and I first got here. You know, it says a lot about you, the fact that one minute you're kinkshaming me, then the next you're insisting I keep you company."
 
"I wasn't-- I don't quite understand what kinkshaming even is, so if I did do that, it clearly wasn't intentional. I have no idea what it is. And, for the record, I was hardly grovelling or begging you to come sit with me. I offered, you accepted. I'd be equally as happy if you declined," he muttered as coolly as he could, despite curling back up into the small position he'd settled into an hour prior. He was notoriously objectionable to change, which was why he'd spent thousands of years living in the same cave in the outskirts, and why he'd hated being sent to the human realm.

It was the biggest change of his life, and he hated every second of it.

Sighing happily once settling back into the spot he'd become accustomed to, he offered across a quiet glance at the mobile, and laughed under his breath. "Are you texting your friend about how sad and pathetic I am? Have a good 'lol' at me, right? I know that word," he proudly smiled. "I get it. It's hilarious. Me, the God of Death, scared of the dark. So chuckle-worthy."
 
"I'm telling her to relax and that you didn't swallow me whole like the stories say. Granted, I know people who are into that. Humans are weird, man, you'll learn that - assuming you even leave the house. We only have a month left, right? Like hell am I going to lock myself up in here if that's all the time I have left," he grunted in response as his fingers worked quickly, his eyes only leaving to glance up to take in the other.

"If you want me to make fun of you, I can. I could probably make a meme and post it to Twitter or something. I've gotten things trending within days, singlehandedly. Cordelia has a much stronger online presence, though. I mean, she was caught in a scandal having sex with Kristen Stewart during the whole Twilight thing and she was hounded by the paparazzi. I've only gotten caught doing stuff like that, like, three times in the 60 years we've been living here. I helped make speculation about David Bowie, you know. He was gorgeous," he swooned, only to frown. "May he rest in peace, of course.'
 
Daeron wasn't used to feeling this unintelligent and downright stupid before. That said, he hadn't been in the company of people for hundreds and hundreds of years, but then again, he had been in town now for a few weeks and had interacted with humans.

Yet, of course, it was a God that had to make him feel like an idiot. He tried to inwardly comfort himself by telling himself that nothing Proteus was spewing out was even worth knowing. He had no idea who these celebrities were or why they were even considered gossip-worthy, but just the fact he didn't know who these people were made him grimace irritably to himself. He prided himself on his intelligence, having only had books for company all these years, so the feeling of not knowing something really wasn't... nice.

Though, he'd had that feeling almost every day he'd been in this world. Everywhere he turned, there was something new. It was as frightening as it was exciting.

Although, interrupting him from the irritation with himself was the irritation with Proteus. It was almost sad to see a God so wrapped up in human life and bothering with such trivial things. He knew that this was probably his superiority complex kicking in, but... hell, he was a God! It made him sad to see another fellow God act like... this.

But he'd learnt already not to sound superior. He didn't want to be insulted again.

"...Ah yes, Kristen... Stewart, I... I think I met her at the coffee shop," he shrugged, staring at the television simply to avoid eye contact. "That's... super cool, I guess... I have to admit that I'm not quite... accustomed to celebrities and the human culture just yet. I don't understand anything you're saying, it's all gobbledegook-- which is a word I literally just learnt from the online dictionary on my mobile. Came up as word of the day... That's pretty cool, right?"
 
"It's cute how ignorant you are to this. Human culture moves so quickly, it's surreal. One year everyone is into bleach blonde hair and tans, ten years later we've gone the opposite way. Give it a few months and the clothes I wear will be outdated and replaced - okay, that's a lie. I know you think I'm full of myself, but I know how to manipulate human trends. I was a lot like you when I first got here. I didn't know what television was. Cordelia were seen as some psychos." He reassured as he leaned back further before setting the phone to the side.

"Look, I know this is new. It doesn't even matter, right? This is all going to be gone and you can go back to your cave. I'll be seen as a stupid, lovestruck loser who I fell in love with and get put on lockdown." He grunted, before covering his eyes with his arms wearily. "This sucks, man.@
 
"I don't understand this culture and I don't really want to, to be honest. It's complicated and trivial and just... I don't like not knowing things. It's not entirely worth me knowing any of this stuff either. I'm only here for another month-- unless they banish me. I assume they're going to banish me here. They don't like me. They're all probably discussing me right now and what to do with me," he shrugged, biting his lip the moment he stumbled across that realisation. He didn't usually care about people talking about him -he was wise enough to know that rumours had spread about him for centuries- but, in this instance, he did care.

They would be discussing what to do with him, and either decision was monumental. On one hand, they could just decide to let him go back to his cave, which was the best, preferred option. On the other hand, they could choose to get rid of him once and for all and banish him to the world he'd already become accustomed to.

And given how fucking horrible they were, he was sure they'd choose the latter.

"...Maybe they'll just banish you, you'd love that, wouldn't you? Being told never to go Home, to stay here. I'm sure they're discussing that. Maybe they'll decide you're better off out of their hair."
 
"They're dicks, man. If they do, they'll keep Cordelia. I'll be completely alone, you know? They'll say that us being together was the whole start of this and keep us apart." He replied flatly, sighing. "At least you're important. You're one of the OG Gods, they need you. Cordelia and I? We're a hassle, and my father had plenty of kids to replace me. I'm nothing to any of them, hence why it's so confusing on why they're so insistent on ruining our lives. Is it an ego thing? I dunno - it's probably an ego thing, let's be honest. My father is a head honcho, it wouldn't shock me to know he was ashamed of me."

Letting out another heavy sigh, he locked eyes with the other, scanning him. "You might come to love this place. It's cool, you know? Humans are fascinating, not all houty-touty."
 
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