"...This sounds ridiculous, but I... I don't really know the address yet," shrugged the other God as casually as he could manage, as though not knowing the address he'd been living a month at was a perfectly reasonable answer. He was well aware he could be accused of pretending, but honestly? His memory really wasn't the best. His capacity to remember things properly was sporadic - at times, he could remember facts from decades ago, then forget something he'd learned a day before. Apparently, his new human address was one his brain had chosen to discard when he needed it the most. "You can drop me off anywhere, I... I don't like cars, I get sick easily--"

"You're a freak, you know that? You're very weird," blurted Cordelia, finding the attention she wanted to give her lover was drawn away to the weird loser sat at their side. Anyone that didn't know their address and seemed so cut off from the world, in her eyes, was well qualified to be openly called a freak. Rolling her eyes to herself, she tapped her fingernails on her knee contemplatively. She may realise that her friend wanted nothing more to do with the boy, but she wasn't going to pretend she wasn't curious in him... even if he'd called her a bitch twice already. "You can still come back with us, even though you probably won't be getting any privileges from Proteus over there. You can sit and watch TV and then get your ass out when morning comes, if you're so desperate to come to our place. Pretending you don't know your address is really pathetic, kid, but oh well. I can't blame you. It's a fucking nice house."
 
Shooting a critical glance to Daeron, his perfectly groomed eyebrows knit together in genuine confusion. He could be passive-aggressive, sure, but he never went as far as to berate someone one second, only to seem desperate to spend time the next. Sure, Proteus wasn't the brightest lightbulb in the appliance store, but he wasn't dull, and it would take a real moron to not notice just how strange he acted.

The God didn't respond to Cordelia's words, instead choosing to return his eyes to the road. "Well, that's unfortunate. I guess you'll have to spend the night in a house with a proper slut. I bet that's just peachy for you." He murmured, whilst tapping his fingers on his lap absently. "That's fine. I'm going to take a bath anyway, then go to sleep. I don't think I'm up to anything more."
 
"So you're not going to have sex with him? Or even talk to him? Funny how things work out, isn't it? Here's me, thinking you were going to have all the fun while I had to be on my own tonight, only for things to do a complete 180 and for me to be the one having fun tonight. Can't say I don't deserve it, after you dragged me to that god-awful bar tonight," drawled Cordelia, trying not to seem to sympathetic to her friend while in front of strangers, though didn't bother disguising the sympathy in her tone, while eventually culminated in her leaning over to the front seat and handing her friend one of the butterscotch candies she religiously kept in her handbag at all times. It was a small gesture, granted, but it was well known between them that it was her way of showing she cared, since she didn't really like doing that openly in front of humans too much. "Oh well, you've fucked it up, kid. It's a golden opportunity. You know how handsome my friend is? How nice he is? If you're not into that, you're clearly stupid and blind, but hey, you'll regret it, I guess. Most guys would."

Deciding to wisely ignore Cordelia before condemning himself to an even lower opinion, Daeron turned his body away from them to stare out the window, lips pursing in a display of clear anger. He did regret being bullied into this, and the fact he was chosen simply because, if he failed, nobody would miss him being banished for it. Any hopes of his family intervening was a long shot - he was pretty sure his father and mother wanted him gone too.

"I don't remotely care about you assholes, let's get that straight," he heavily sighed, slipping further down in his seat once he'd all but consigned himself to defeat. He wasn't going to admit to them who he was, simply to avoid a beating, but he wasn't going to pretend to be some nice kid eager for their affections now either... though he hadn't been great at pretending that thus far anyway. "If I wanted to meet you, I'd have done it by now. I've been avoiding trying to bump into you conceited jerks, I'll be honest. I don't like people, but I especially don't like you sorts of people. All loud and drunk and... not nice."
 
His already shaky hands nervously moved to unwrap the candy, taking it as a momentary crutch to try and focus on, rather than on his rather crippling self-doubt that he was feeling. Well, he was always feeling it, but he could often hide it until he was alone with Cordelia. In that moment, though, it was way harder to pretend he was fine. Sure, plenty of people on the internet or the news critiqued him constantly, and he would either just ignore them or specifically look for comments that were mild in their criticisms. He had far thinner skin than Cordelia, after all, who was the one who usually laughed at them.

"Get out. I-I... Just... Get out of the fucking car. I don't want to see you again, ever, understood?" He managed to snap, while sniffling wearily. "Get the fuck out of my Uber and piss off. Fucking - no wonder you don't like people, it's because you're a massive dick." Proteus spat, while shooting glares at the man. If it were up to him, he'd probably summon some water and drown the man in the car. If the Uber driver died, too, he'd definitely pay for the funeral.
 
"Keep driving, I want to get home," the Goddess murmured to the driver instead, rolling her eyes at her friend's demand. She agreed with the sentiment, of course - her curiosity was well trumped at this point by irritation, but she thought it best to at least get home without stopping. Besides, their home was a few minutes away from the centre of the city, and hopefully that meant Daeron was further from his apartment. Nothing would give her more pleasure than knowing he walked through half the night and early morning trying to find his way home-- and hey, if something bad happened to him, she'd call it justice for being a total asshole. Granted, she was ignoring her own shitty behaviour, but she saw herself as above all these petty humans, assuming that Daeron was just another one of them.

"No. No, just-- just stop, I want to get out." Daeron grumbled, giving the driver's seat a slight nudge to encourage him to slow down and come to a stop. "This is... legitimately the worst night I've had for years. I don't even know why I even tried to get to know you, l-like..."
 
"I don't know why you did, either. Clearly, you're far too cynical to even be a proper human being. Here I am, thinking, 'hey, this guy is interesting!' only to find out that your 'interesting' behavior just consists of you being a major cunt. You may think I'm some whoreish freak, but I actually do enjoy friendship. The media seems to never want to talk about how I'm, you know, friends with a lot of the people I have sex with. You, why did you even try talking to me if you hate me so much?!" He snapped, his face beetroot now as he dug his perfectly manicured nails into the piece of candy.

"How about I get out, huh? I'm sure I'll get home just fine. I don't think I could stand being in this car with you any longer." Proteus declared, before pushing the door open and slamming it shut once out of the car, his fingers nervously running through his hair. "Fucking - I'm going. I'm going to, I-I dunno. Just, go on. Drive to your place, maybe you can choke on some of that stupid fucking tea." He snapped, only to grow embarrassed at just how angry he was getting. He couldn't help it, of course, but it was usually Cordelia who got flustered in upset. Shooting all of the passengers' glares, he easily began to storm off, leaving the Uber driver a bit confused.
 
Silently sitting back against the car with her own perfect nails tapping against her wrist, Cordelia sized up the situation as best she could while demanding the driver to stay where he was rather than continue driving. On one hand, she could force the rude kid out and just head back with Rosie to have a nice night in and put the night behind her... or she could head after Proteus. 8 out of 10 times, she would have probably sided with the former, deciding that Proteus wouldn't begrudge her the chance to have some fun with a girl she genuinely liked more than most humans she was with.

However, she'd never actually seen her best friend this mad for decades, and that was enough for her to (reluctantly) apologise to Rosie and head on out into the pouring rain after her friend... at least after shooting Daeron a glare to leave the car himself, though he didn't take much convincing.

"...You know, you shouldn't get so riled up. Remember that one guy in the 80s who, like, sent me death threats because I didn't sleep with him that one time? He was a nutcase. You just have to learn to shake it off and roll your eyes at their stupidity," she began once catching up to the other God, offering him a light nudge in the side. "And hey, you should be happy. Don't you love the rain? Isn't it, like, Christmas to you~?"
 
"This isn't funny, Cordelia. What the fuck was that guy's problem?!" He squeaked, while pushing his wet hair from his forehead, sniffling. "Like, I get it, I'm trash. I'm garbage. It kind of fucking sucks when a complete stranger reminds you, though, you know? Like, who the fuck does he think he is?! I-I... Did I do something wrong?"

Whimpering, he was happy that the rain hid his tears. Taking a seat on the edge of the road, he did enjoy the rain enough to at least feel a bit soothed. It sort of reminded him of Home, so it was oddly comforting as he tugged his knees to his chest. "I just want to sleep, Dee."
 
"Please don't tell me you're crying over the words of a scumbag human. He isn't worth that. He's some idiot little twerp with ridiculous opinions, that's all. God, don't cry. You're worth ten million more than him," she persuaded softly. The last thing she really wanted was to talk about boring feelings when they could be back home having a good time and relaxing, but thanks to Daeron, she had to try and at least convince her best friend to get over the harsh words he'd received.

"Let's be honest, Gods have said a lot worse about us back Home and we've not shed a tear. Why get upset about some human asshole? Honestly, just... we're never going to see him again. Why you even thought it was a good idea to even spend your time talking to him is beyond me. He's not hot, he's not got a dazzling personality. You need to up your standards, doll."
 
"You've got this girl who clearly likes you a lot, like, a lot. Who do I have? I can't even have a stranger like me. How pathetic is that?" He whispered, while staring down at his feet, sniffling. After a long moment of silence, Proteus eventually pushed himself off of the sidewalk and ran his fingers through her hair. Taking a long, deep breath, he offered the other a feigned smile.

"I'm sorry for ruining your night, Dee. This could have been nice for you," he murmured, before side-glancing his best friend. Tugging up the hood on his jacket, he offered her a wink. "I guess neither of us are getting lucky, we both fucked one another up. I could be home with two cute guys, and you could be with Rosie. Here we are, on the side of the road. Your hair looks like shit, and I'm exhausted."
 
"Rosie doesn't mind rescheduling, I suppose-- but maybe I won't want to reschedule! I'm thinking of just cutting contact with her to prove that she doesn't mean as much to me as you seem to think. I don't love her. She's just another notch on my bedpost," she shrugged as carelessly as she could manage. Sure, she was certain she didn't love the girl... but there had to be a reason she'd spent a solid year keeping in contact with Rosie and seeing her at least once or twice a week. No other human got that sort of genuine treatment from Cordelia, so cutting that out of her life would be incredibly difficult, but she was willing to just to prove she hadn't caught feelings she'd spent centuries claiming to hate.

"My hair does not look shit, asshole. It's-- you know it gets frizzy in the rain," she grumbled, tugging her now curly hair into a messy -but easier to manage- ponytail. Pushing herself up off the ground she'd sat on, she moved to link their arms with a wink back in return. "Look, let's go home and we can share my bed for the night, how about that? Honestly, forget about that kid, would you? He wasn't going to have sex with you, it's not like you've missed out on anything. He was some shy little virgin, hardly worth thinking about."
 
"I... I guess you're right," he murmured, before offering his attempt at a passive shrug. Without a second thought, he was at least happy to ditch the two so he wouldn't have to go through the hassle of driving home. Once inside their large home within the seconds it took to travel there, he unhooked his arm to carefully move away from Cordelia and toss his muddied shoes to the side. Still a bit tipsy, he easily headed straight for the bathroom, and started up the bath of the classic, claw-foot tub.

"You could join me, you know. I think I have a bath bomb left over, it's that vanilla one you like I bet. Do we have any champagne left? Maybe pour some of that for us~?" He cooed, his naturally flirtatious tone returning, even if he was still focused on the 'human'. Frowning heavily once out of sight, he peeled off his clothes without hesitation as he sank into the water, sighing. "... Let's stay inside tomorrow."
 
Her relationship with Proteus may have mostly been physically platonic for the most part, but the behaviour was often flirtatious... and of course there'd been periods where they'd kissed and had sex once or twice. Taking a bath together, though, really wasn't some rare occurrence - it was something they did on a regular basis, either under the guise of friends or in a romantic context. It was why Cordelia barely hesitated to slip out of her heels and silver-sequined dress, sitting on the edge of the fancy tub while the water filled up. Given her general confidence, it really wasn't a surprise that she was perfectly happy to be out of clothes, being pretty confident when it came to her body too. Besides, she trusted Proteus enough not to judge her in any way.

"I at least want to go out for breakfast, Proteus. You're hardly going to stand around cooking me up a plate of bacon and eggs, are you? Besides, there's that really cute server at Mary's cafe, right? The one that is so into you it's actually kinda sad. He stares at you like a puppy everytime we go for breakfast-- can you just, like, fuck him already so we can stop torturing the poor guy? It's not funny anymore."
 
"... Really?" He whispered childishly, as he peered in the hand-mirror besides the tub. Staring into it, he curiously pushed his skin around almost like putty. Curiously observing the thought of possibly elongating his chin, he frowned deeply in disapproval. Pushing it back to his previous appearance, he glanced up at Cordelia briefly. "I haven't noticed. That's really cute, actually...." he murmured, before easily sinking into the tub once it rose higher. He only really climbed out a bit to snatch the bath bomb set on the side of the tub, smirking once finding just the one.

"Hey, I'll happily make you some eggs one of these days. It's sort of fun, pretending to have a skill. Hm... Maybe if I convince that loverboy to stay the night, I could make breakfast and prove that I'm at least an average cook?" He teased, before plopping the white sphere into the water casually. Waving her into the tub, he set his arms behind his head to stare up at the ornate designs on the ceiling. "You always drive out your friends before they can have breakfast, how rude. They entertain you for the night, you should at least treat them to a proper breakfast," he scolded playfully, before offering a small smile.
 
"And I think you give them too much respect. They're humans, they're not even worthy of talking to us. We're showing enough kindness by entertaining their company. I'm not going to go out of my way and dine with them at breakfast like I'm dating them. Who do you think I am? I like to keep things casual, it's far easier and deserving of their status compared to mine," she responded in her typically superior tone, lips pursed at the very notion of being seen at some cosy little breakfast with a human she'd slept with-- although, of course she'd broken her personal rule by doing that very thing with Rosie on a few occasions. While they'd never gone out and had a breakfast or dinner together in public, Cordelia had, once or twice, cooked up pancakes to share with the girl in bed, though made the excuse that she was simply hungry, rather than admit how much she liked the human.

Trailing her fingers through the water silently, she nudged the other with her foot to try and get his attention. "Or you could, you know, find that rude kid and talk to him? I know what you're like. You're not going to be able to relax until you at least have him see you in some romantic light. You're not me. I can easily ignore people. You get so... caught up in how people see you and think of you. The sooner you get that loser obsessed with you, the sooner you can tell him to fuck off again, on your own terms."
 
"As if," he scoffed, and added a groan for emphasis. "Dee, do you honestly think I'll ever even see him again? He's a creep who hates me, I'm pretty sure he'd go out of his way to actively avoid me, so even if I did want to see him, I probably couldn't find him. He's like... a rat. Sort of cute, but pretty nasty and likes to stay in a basement. I'm not going to focus on him, okay? Give me some credit."

At the nudge, he tugged his legs closer a tad so both of them would have equal space. It was one plus to being the same size, in addition to wearing one another's clothes. He would admit, back in the 60's, Cordelia looked pretty fantastic in his leather jackets. Handing over the soap, he watched for her response, his own lips pursed.
 
"I don't even think he's that cute, but there we are. Look, I just know what you're like. There was that guy who said you weren't his type in '95, remember? And you said you didn't care, but continued looking out for him at the bar back in Spain, and then a week later he was half-naked in your bedroom. Say what you want, but I know you, hm? I know you better than anyone, so I won't be surprised if I wake up one day next week to find that kid stumbling to the bathroom without his shirt on," she admitted casually, reaching for the rose-scented soap with an appreciative smile. If she was honest, she wanted to believe that her friend was capable of just forgetting about the kid, because she hardly wanted to see him again, but she already realised she'd probably see him again pretty soon.

"Whatever, I'd rather not talk about him. I was thinking about going on vacation soon. Somewhere hot, you know? Maybe the Maldives," she began, albeit in a rather cautious tone, simply because she knew how the other was going to react when she finished her sentence, and she wanted to avoid getting all defensive. "With Rosie. It's not a relationship, don't fucking start on me about that. She mentioned that she's never been away, and I figured I could help her out. She could have some proper modelling pictures done there to send off to agencies and that'll benefit me to be involved with some fancy model, you know? It's just selfishness on my part, I don't love her. You could come if you'd like? I'm sure there are plenty of cute guys there."
 
"... but you don't want me coming, huh?" He murmured, as he turned to face the blurred window that led out into the street. "You want to go on a proper vacation with your girlfriend, I get it. For the first time in fifty years, you just wanna go without your best friend of nearly one hundred years - has it been more? Anyway, I'll just sit alone in the dark whilst you're out and enjoying yourself."

Letting out a clearly overly dramatic and drawn out sigh, he peaked over to her as he rested his head on his hand, clearly annoyed. "What am I supposed to do while you're gone? It's so boring when you aren't around, Dee. Besides, you said you were going to end the relationship, like, not even a half hour ago."
 
"I'm not going to end the casual fling before a fucking vacation, are you mad? I'll end it after-- and it's not a relationship, stop saying that. You know how I feel about that icky, disgusting stuff. And of course you can come, stop being so damn dramatic. I don't do anything without you, you know that. We're, like, a pair, right?" She encouraged, washing off the soap while rolling her eyes at the dramatics, though, given she'd put up with it for centuries now, it really wasn't that big of a deal. She found it rather cute, if nothing else.

"If you aren't going to come, you could... I don't know, do what we usually do. Jeez, you'd probably enjoy it without me. You could flirt with the men I usually ward away from you. Go crazy, have fun, whatever. It's why we're here, right? To do what we want? I'd prefer it if you came with me, but it's not the end of the world for you if you don't, dummy."
 
"Of course I' gonna go with you!" He blurted, sitting up immediately. "I thought you wouldn't want me to, and instead get all lovey-dovey with your girlfriend instead. I just... you promise I won't be a third wheel? I mean, there's one thing to pick up someone cute and bring them to the hotel, just to kick them out the next day. There's another to wake up to one of your fuck buddies every day. That sucks, you know? You'll be enjoying some steamy moments with Rosie, and I'll be alone, eating ice cream as I watch some sitcoms." He grunted, before moving to pull Cordelia close to his side, a pout growing on his lips.

"No matter what I do, I'll be a third wheel. How sad is that? Yet, I need you to make sure I don't bring some cannibal home, so... I'm coming. Don't expect me to be uber excited, though."