The C-Listers; [Closed/Dead]

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where di you all get that it was a lavish apartment? I clearly stated his apartment was in the slums x.x
 
To be fair, Sabrina is more taken aback that a kid could afford an apartment with more than one room, while she's clearly more than bitter and perhaps prone to exaggeration. To her, it may as well be the Ritz Carlton, because she's still reeling from prison life and the possibility of being homeless for being such a bad tenant.
 
I just assumed it'd be clean/emptyish, at least that was my impression of the alien kid. Cleanliness would be lavish to Sylar, but I'll edit for clarity.
 
So sorry, but I think I'll have to drop out of this.
 
That seems rather out of the blue
 
Ozferatu said:
That seems rather out of the blue
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I'm busy with other things now. Sorry if I took you by surprise, next time I'll tip toe. ^^
 
;___;
 
So Hellis, you going to take over her character and kill her off in the bank job? XD
 
WHO KNOWS.

Also back from selfimposed exile (See, camping)


expect IC to be up in a day.
 
Name: Blake Tellery

Persona: Phantom

Appearance:
url


Age: 18

Archetype: Alien

Power set:Blake can project an electrical-looking phantom from himself, which looks like it's constructed of bright green flashes of lightning, forming together as a copy of himself, almost. This phantom is able to move slightly faster, strike a little harder, jump just that bit higher, and generally is a small amount better in every physical way than the average human. His only real downside to his power is that while he focuses on controlling the phantom, he might forget to watch his own back, and there is also a range of about 50 metres on the phantom before it fizzles out.

Origin Story: Blake used to lead a life as an street urchin, begging, stealing, anything to stay alive. Often, he'd get into scraps with others on the street, so much so that he was once left crying and broken on the street, and he didn't fully recover from his injuries for a few weeks. One day, through methods unknown to him, a strange, lightning-like copy of himself formed through a portal, from a universe just like that of Morpheus. He found that it was entirely under his control, when he wanted it to punch, it did so, when he wanted it to move to a spot, it ran straight over.
Realising what had happened, he now knew he'd become a sort of superhuman. He could summon and use the phantom at will, and he decided what he wanted to do next. The streets had taken their toll on him, now it was his turn to get back, exact his revenge. His first action was to beat up the local bullies who'd injured him so badly before, killing them stone-cold dead by battering them until their hearts stopped beating. Next, he robbed a grocery store, knocking the staff senseless while he grabbed all that he could. He felt untouchable as he continued doing this for little over a week, stealing anything he wanted, going anywhere he desired, beating up anyone he wished to.
His confidence would be his downfall, however. Reports of a "green phantom and a young man" had been reported around where he stayed in an old abandoned house, and eventually, a SWAT team tracked him down and took him in.
Now he resides in a specialised cell to prevent his phantom from simply passing its incorporeal form through the bars, or immediately taking out the guard and escaping.
 
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1. You seriusly need to rework your origin into something a bit more easy to read. There is a great amount of grammatical errors and missing words.
2. Half-Alien isn't archtype. Alien is is.
3. The power is.. ehhhh. Its elecrical, so how is it capable of normal physical feats? You should rethink the scope and nature of his powers.
 
1)Sorry, I'm a tad clumsy, I'll fix those mistakes right away.

2) Alright, I just though it made more sense because he himself wasn't at all alien, but I'll change it.

3) Sorry, I should clarify, it isn't actually electrical, it just looks that way. I couldn't really think of a better way to describe the idea I had in my mind.

Edits made.
 
So his power is a summoned, remote body? Handy.


Suggestion for clarity, do with powers what Alpha did;

  • emote Doppleganger; flavor text here.
That said it strikes me as a bit to powerfull. YOu have a remote body stronger and better then humanly possible, with no drawbacks.
I'd say, just make it be human in talents as a start.
 
Hellis said:
So his power is a summoned, remote body? Handy.


Suggestion for clarity, do with powers what Alpha did;

  • emote Doppleganger; flavor text here.
That said it strikes me as a bit to powerfull. YOu have a remote body stronger and better then humanly possible, with no drawbacks.
I'd say, just make it be human in talents as a start.
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Perhaps not QUITE only human, maybe though not so much to be inhuman, just a little stronger than average, a little faster? Otherwise one might as well just have another person.
 
Alrighty, done. Am I good to go?
 
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