The Blood That Binds Us (Medieval Fantasy, Dungeon Crawl-esque RP)

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Ah, thought that the 'not a huge fan of anime pictures for this RP' meant something, considering Haru is another GM(?).
 
@ERode
Lol, I'm not THAT strict about anime pics.
I mean, I use them from time to time in RP's.
Hell, look at my weaboo trash avatar.
 
I dunno, I'd rate the avatar 8/8.
 
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Gengar is a Pokemon. Pokemonz are like Marioz. Made by dem Japs but not considered weebshit.

And I've been rejected by RPs before based off using anime pics, so...yup. That was my precedent. XD
 
I can't believe my ahegaokin Jiangshi Gengar avatar isn't considered weebshit.
I thought so hard about it too, I mean weebs love Pokemanz, Cute Chinese Ghost Girls, and their Henties. Right?
 
Sadly, you tried too hard. Inclusion of Pokemanz pushes it just a bit too far out of weebshit territory.
 
Guess it's part of Furshit territory now.
Or between the borders of the two shit territories.
 
I'd wager its border shit, it can't decide which territory of shit posting it wishes to be part of.
 
I think the weeb comment was more in relation to the character's description. It's just a liiiiiiittle over the top.

Anyway, I'm not sure if I'm gonna be able to do this either. I got really sick really suddenly and have had a horrible, continuous headache since the night before last. I may still work on a character, but no promises. I'll probably just lay back down and feel pathetic for a few more days.
 
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So far most characters I have seen, I've also liked. Just my own opinion on the matter.
 
Ivara.jpg

Name: Ivara of the Derlacka (the name of her old tribe, which literally translates as 'Relentless Chargers')

Age: 21

Height and Weight: 6'5" 189 lbs

Personality: Ivara is, despite her intimidating size and linage, a surprisingly lax individual. That isn't to say she is without drive or focus, but she lacks a great deal of the ferociousness and stoicism that her Amazonian family tree would normally have suggested. Where there would be an unquenchable thirst for blood and conquest, instead sits a drive to live a more quiet life, and the passion for leaning the art of war has been replaced with the passion to master the art of cooking the perfect meal.

She is upfront with her thoughts and feelings, and is happy to idle away hours if it means spending time with her comrades. She can become boisterous and excitable if a subject captures her attention, and she is always eager to learn. These points can become problematic; her lack of tact and social graces means that she is likely to say the wrong thing at the wrong time, and her eagerness is not always an easy thing to deal with.

Despite her continued habit of honing her body through rigorous training, Ivara much prefers to avoid conflict at any possible turn. In truth, Ivara holds a great fear for her life every time she has to enter combat, despite her relative proficiency for it. It needs to be reinstated, however, that she is NOT a pacifist. One can almost see a little bit of the berserker blood in her reawaken when she's locked in battle, though it is not something she is proud of.

While a mostly an individual that is enthusiastic about life and moving forward, a very small part of Ivara is somewhat conflicted about her choices. She regrets having to leave her tribe behind, and the cautious reception she has been on the receiving end of makes her question if this strange land of both women and men will ever be truly a home to her. When one doesn't feel welcome in either the land they left behind or the one they find themselves in, where can they truly turn?

Brief Biography: Ivara was born from a matron of the fierce Derlacka, a tribe of Amazons of minor renown, known mostly for their unstoppable berserkers. Right from the moment she was born, Ivara was a point of concern for the tribe: she was a twin, and her counterpart was a male babe. Twin females were considered a good omen in the tribe, and the girls would be encouraged to become a strong duo of fighters as they grew, but a girl born with a male brother was considered an ill omen to be watched with a great deal of care.*

Ivara did nothing to discourage this scepticism as she grew, as she was small and sickly as a child. Due to her weak constitution, she was often left behind when the other girls of the tribe left to train, much to the girl's shame. While initially discouraged, the young Ivara would find a friend in an aging elder of the tribe, and the old woman would help the girl fill her time with more mundane activities around the tribe's camp. In particular, Ivara gained quite the taste for cooking, and became quite the little chef as she grew up.

Eventually her body would strengthen, and she could commit to becoming as strong as her tribe-sisters, quickly catching up to them in sheer strength and skill in battle. Ivara's mother, a matron and one of the tribe's leading figures, thought that just maybe the girl's troubles were finally behind her.

Unfortunately, it was discovered that Ivara lacked her sisters' taste for battle. The girl was a formidable fighter, certainly, but she did not take to it as the other girls did. She showed signs of hesitation and, even at her fiercest, her rage and battle lust paled compared to the others in the tribe.

The Derlacka would suffer no weakness in their ranks: one of the key points to their survival was that, despite their small number, every single Amazon would pull twice her weight, and the group as a whole would benefit from her presence. Ivara was quickly becoming known as a burden, and rumours began to circulate that her male twin had weakened her spirit from the moment of her birth. Ivara's mother had given her an ultimatum; either the girl would awaken her berserker blood and be welcomed into the tribe proper, or the girl would be sent away.

Ivara had tried. She had tried every single thing she could, and pushed herself to brink of expiring, but nothing had worked. She couldn't even fake being as battle thirsty as the other members of her tribe, and had ultimately failed her mother's test.

Shortly after, Ivara found herself standing at the edge of the Derlacka's camp, her meagre possessions on her back. Her mother, without any hint of emotion, had pointed off in the direction to the nearest non-Amazon town, telling Ivara that her "weakness might be more welcome there." Ivara had taken one last look at the simple tents that had made her entire world, and the scowling faces of the women who had been the only family she had ever known – and walked away. She had marched without looking back, and missed the way that her mother's face, for the first time in years, had soured with sorrow and regret.

For the last half of a year, Ivara has wandered from place to place, making the best of her exile by trying to learn all she could about this strange world she had been banished to. While she is A LOT better than she was when she had first been starting out (it turns out that lords and land owners don't exactly appreciate having their livestock being skewered by javelins), she is still very much learning the ways of this somewhat more civilised world. Despite everything, Ivara thinks that living in a place that might appreciate her non-combat skills could be a nice prospect, even if it is taking a while seeing so many slight and slender females around.

*Note: usually, the Derklacka simply dump off male babies in the nearest non-Amazon settlement. They aren't particularly careful about the process, often just leaving the child near the town or village entrance dressed in only a few rags. This mainly stems from the fact that, despite not wanting to taint the tribe with the presence of any males, the Derklacka maintain a creed that lives (even male ones) hold some kind of basic value that can't be ignored. Therefore, the child is given a chance at survival, even if they're not overly concerned if they succeed.
Males born with female twins, however, are slightly different. Due to the fear that the child will bring ill-tidings, males of such a birth are sent away with exiles of the tribe, in the hopes that a fair amount of distance shall be placed between the tribe and child. Exiles themselves often leave these burdens to perish in the wilderness, though occasionally they will decide to raise the male children, feeling a kinship with the rejected child. Ivara does not know of the fate of her brother, and doubts that she will ever find out what happened to him.

Do they know magic: Only the magic of punching things really, really hard. That being said, she does know of several traditional Amazonian rituals that are said to bring good fortunate in battle, but it's most just superstitious habits.

Weapons: - Her primary 'weapons,' for a lack of a better word, are the set of reinforced iron gauntlets, which notably have a design to assist in punching and striking. While not as straight up deadly as conventional weapons, Ivara's sheer strength means that punching the living daylights out of something is often all see needs to do. In addition, she's been trained in various grabs, holds and tackles, meaning that she has a few options in close quarters.
- She also has a set of javelins, which she brings with her on any potentially dangerous excursion. While fairly deadly and accurate, they do have the draw of back of needing to be retrieved after thrown, and can potentially break.

Skills/Powers:
- Close quarters combat: While she was forced to leave the tribe, her old family had done a great job of teaching Ivara how to defend herself in melee combat. Ivara knows how to use (and how to disarm her opponents of) a variety weapons, though the use of her fists alone is where she excels the most.
- Great strength: Ivara's body has been honed to the nth degree, and thusly she can achieve some impressive feats of strength, and especially if the dormant berserker blood in her body begins to awaken from extended combat. Likewise, her general stamina and toughness is fairly considerable.
- Scavenging/emergency meal: In addition to being a fine cook overall, Ivara's hunting and scavenging skill means that it's rare for her to be wanting for rations. She makes a surprisingly tasty rat skewer.



Here's my character sheet: not 100% sure how I managed to get from a bard character to this one, but there we go.

Just say if there's any issues or if anything needs changing.
 
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So far most characters I have seen, I've also liked. Just my own opinion on the matter.
Agreed, been enjoying reading through the CS's we have so far.
 
@LVL1337N00B
Ah, that's sad to hear D:
IMO you should prioritize your health first rather than this RP.
Please get well soon!
 
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So, this took a bit longer due to the realization that the image of Sil that I use for fantasy rps is on my old hard drive still. Thus, I had to edit my sci-fi image of him... said image was a flat PNG that I had to download from my own tumblr. -cries- I hope his clothing is not too off for the feel of this. I hope to get his proper images up as soon as I get a hard drive mount. Anyway, here- have a thing:


1zvbj1i.jpg

Wait...what?
[spoili]
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[/spoili]
Name: Silas "Sil" Corby
Age: 20
Height and Weight: 159 cm (about 5'2"), 52 kg (about 115 pounds)
Personality:
In a sentence: Silas is so clever he is stupid.

He may seem simple due to his love of laughter and penchant for reckless behavior, but he has a sharp mind and an intuitive knowledge of how things work. Many brush him off because of his childish, curious nature, and they regret it. This silly little man has more than a few nasty tricks up his sleeve, including, but not restricted to: Trip-wire traps that cover you in paint, Oils to make you slip on perfectly stable ground, powders to make you smell like a skunk ( or roses, for the gruff gentlemen) and liquids to make you pass gas for hours, should it be slipped into your mead- and those are the nice ones he uses on friends.

For all of his craftiness, Silas is not always the most observant. He frequently gets caught up in the moment, or wrapped up in the discovery of some shiny new object. This does not mean, however, that he cannot wrest his attention span under control long enough to have a serious discussion or battle.

Brief Biography:
About twenty years ago, a handsome, rugged blacksmith was wandering through the marketplace when the sweet sounds of a lute reached his ears. Following the melodic plucking, he found himself staring at the most perfect woman he had ever seen- a Romani dressed in bright patterns, perched on the edge of the communal well. Intricate tattoos graced her hands, trailing geometric patterns up her forearms. It was love at first sight. Gentle words were exchanged in low voices, all but drowned out by the dulcet tones of the lute. That night, the blacksmith laid the gypsy woman on his bed... Oh, but you wanted Silas's story.

From this probably far less romantic meeting, Silas was conceived. His mother stuck around for a few years, but a town is no place for a transient Romani. Thus, Sil was left with his father, who raised him to be a blacksmith as well. This was all fine and dandy until Silas was about eleven, when he started to make some friends who were not so upstanding. Being the naive boy he was, Sil was easily duped into committing petty crimes with the young band of ruffians. Being small and light on his feet, he was perfect for slipping through windows. His nimble fingers were quick to train as well, and he soon was adept at lock-picking. He thought is was all great fun, despite knowing he was breaking he law.

One evening, Silas's "friends" were targeting the workshop of a local alchemist, one who concocted tinctures and oils for the ails of the little folk. After deftly popping the hinge on the window, he slipped inside. The goal was to get in, get out and split the goods (oil of slipperiness, good for pranks)- simple. Except, when he righted himself, he found two aged brown eyes staring at him.

That is how he met is good friend Herbert. Herbert was patient, kind, and had a good sense of humor. Knowing full well the intended uses for the oil, The old alchemist gave Sil a bottle of it, as well as a jar of technicolor powder. That was enough to pique the teen's interest in the art of manipulating magic substances. While this interest did not stop Silas from continuing to steal for a year or two, it did make the process a lot more fun.

Now an adult, Silas has four years of alchemical training under his belt, plenty of practice with contraptions and locks, as well as some weapons training and smithing skills. Nearly a year ago, he set out from home, much to his father's chagrin, to become an adventurer. Surely someone has use of his varied skills.

Do they know magic:
Not technically. He is quite fond of playing with magical substances, but cannot cast any magic missiles (not that he doesn't want to, of course. Pew pew).

Weapons:
He typically dual-wields a short sword and dagger, but is very adept at using a sling, which is one of his preferred methods of doling out potions and powders. Speaking of, he keeps everything from liquid fog, to poisons, to garlic powder in various vials, packets and (his patented) clay baubles. His talent with a blade is limited, and as such, he would much prefer to pelt his opponents with a concoction or toss down a smokescreen and make a hasty exit. It should be noted, however, that his dagger is a custom weapon. While it looks fairly plain, it actually has a hollow in the hilt, and a small channel that allows liquids to flow down the blade. This makes it overall a weaker weapon, but with the right tincture, one swift strike is all you need.

Skills/Powers:
Thieving skills- Silas is adept at finding ways into places. He can pick most locks, fiddle with hinges and is small enough to slip through narrow gaps. He also has a good eye for traps, and can disarm most any common style. Along with this, he has a fondness of creating his own traps. It should be noted, however, that while he has these skills, he rarely uses them now, as he has not needed to rely on them for some time.

Alchemy- Silas has a travel chest filled with bottles, jars and parcels full of varied mundane and magical powders and liquids, as well as the tools needed to mix them. He keeps a few of his favoured concoctions on his belt, and can easily mix both healing and harming tinctures, provided he has a stable working surface and access to a flame.
Common concoctions- [spoili]
Offensive:
Night-night!- This mix can be in either powder or liquid form. As a powder, it forms a fine mist that covers a three to five-foot area, depending on humidity and other conditions. Once inhaled, most man-sized or smaller creatures are slumbering peacefully within five minutes. Sluggishness sets in within one minute. As a liquid, it can be slipped into drinks and cause the same effects in roughly the same amount of time. It may take longer to effect larger men.
Bless you- This particularly nasty powder is his most simple: finely ground dried garlic. It causes nearly any creature to start coughing, sneezing and weeping as the strong herb assaults their senses. It's effects are immediate, and last for hours as the victim cries the powder out of their mucus membranes. Causes temporary blindness of both the eyes and nose. Those subjected to this also taste garlic for days. Does not go well with cake.
Alchemist's Fire- This slick, bright green liquid ignites upon contact with air. With a long burn-time and the likelihood of it clinging to anything it splashes on, this oil is quite dangerous. Particularly effective when thrown at an enemy's feet. (Burns for up to an hour, longer if there is sufficient airflow.)
Big Boom- One of his more devastating devices, this is what one could consider a true "bomb". Rather than simply being thrown, this wood casing has a cotton wick that must be lit. After you do so, throw and run. Blast radius depends on the size of the bomb. He typically makes them on the smaller side (blast radius of about twenty feet). He uses these as a last resort and only ever has three at a time, as making them requires a clean, level work space and quite a bit of time.
Posions- While some may disapprove of their use, Silas finds these rather indispensable for combat against strong opponents. He has four types he concocts: Neurotoxin (Causes the inflicted to feel a burning pain and have muscle spasms for up to one full day), paralyzing (causes the inflicted to loose all of their strength and control of their limbs for one to three hours), stone (causes the inflicted to go rigid unable to move their body for up to thirty minutes), and tranquilizing (causes the inflicted to become sluggish and/or pass out for up to two hours). He keeps these toxins in small wax cartridges, which are to be inserted into the hilt of his dagger.

Defensive:
Oil of Slipperiness- This is a classic, and the first thing Silas learned how to make. This oil takes weeks to dry, and is tough to remove from clothing. It also does not absorb readily into most surfaces, making it a rather useful substance for long battles or trapping a corridor. When a vial of it is smashed upon the ground, it creates a slick that can cover up to six feet in diameter, depending on the texture and slant of the surface.
Liquid Smoke- This dark liquid simply creates a thick mist when it comes in contact with the air. The obscuring screen can cover up to twenty or thirty feet, but is susceptible to forces such as a light breeze. Dissipates over the course of roughly ten to fifteen minutes, less in windy conditions.
Flash Pellet- When thrown or struck sharply, these small bead-like explosives create a blinding flash in a roughly ten-foot radius. Blindness effects all who did not cover their eyes for up to five minutes, more if the surroundings were/are dark.
Boom Sticks- These small, hollowed out sticks are not exactly dangerous, but can sting if they break on your skin. When thrown sharply, they break open with a very loud crack. Causes ears to ring for less than a minute, unless used around a being with enhanced hearing.
Bark Skin- This strange, slightly gritty salve is used to toughen the skin. Once applied, it must be given half an hour to fully absorb. Once it has, the one using it is more resistant to minor damages. It is particularly effective against negating burns.

Healing:
Just a flesh wound- A healing salve meant for minor injuries such as shallow cuts, scrapes and bruises.
Priest in a bottle- A healing salve for more serious injuries, such as arrow holes, sword wounds and warts.
Liquid stitches- If all else fails, this sticky goo will hold your guts in until a real healer comes along. Great stuff if you don't mind smelling like a pine tree.
If you can't stand the heat...- A salve meant specifically for burns. Silas uses this one a lot.
Oops- This tincture may taste foul, but it could save your life. One ounce of this mix can stop the effects of mild poisons and slow the effects of stronger ones.

Misc:
Alchemic Acid- used to reduce metals and stones into a usable liquid by simply dropping them into a vial of the acid. Can also be used to melt most metals and stone if a decent quantity is poured directly onto them. Harmless to any other substance. ( It tastes terrible, by the way.)
Glow Powder- A slightly sticky, resin-like dust that glows faintly when agitated by touch or heat.
Freeze Powder- A granulated powder that looks quite like salt. A sprinkle of this can freeze a cubic foot of liquid with just a few stirs. Any liquid begins to defrost after about half an hour, depending on conditions. Other uses include drastically reducing the burn time of Alchemist's Flame and giving someone frostbite.
Titan's Glue- This waxy goop is the ultimate glue. If properly applied, the bond it creates cannot be broken by any physical means.
Ultimate Solvent- This thin oil is the opposite of Titan's Glue, and is one of the only things that can safely unbind whatever was glued.
[/spoili] Starting concoctions: Night, night!, Bless you, Neurotoxin poison, Oil of slipperiness, Liquid Smoke, Just a flesh wound, If you can't stand the heat..., Oops, Alchemic Acid and Glow Powder.

Combat- Silas prefers to use his trusty leather sling to deliver annoying and harmful blows to foes (ha. rhyming). For liquids, he crafts wooden shells lined with wax. When they strike a solid object, they burst along a center split, splattering the contents on anything near. For powders, he makes casings out of fine clay and ash, which shatter upon impact. These can be particularly devastating, as many of the powders agitate the lungs and eyes, effectively disabling an opponent. Of course, he also has his dagger, which uses liquid-filled wax cartridges to deliver poisons with the push of a button.

Physical capabilities- Though he lacks physical strength, Sil is quite agile and acrobatic. He is good at tumbling, jumping and climbing, and has a strong sense of balance for when a task requires steady footing. Much of these skills are due to the man's inability to simply sit still.
 
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Well, here's my guy. Hope he works in this setup. If not, I'll change it right away.​

Picture:
tumblr_o571ziTWKi1qzl6x1o2_1280.jpg

(ignore the ears and tail obviously)

"I've yet to meet the person who can withstand the elements. They were here before us, and they will be here after us. Luckily for me they are an ally. Unfortunate for you."

Didara Miskan
32 | 6' 1" | 210 lbs.

Personality:

"I don't mean to be a thorn in your side. I'm just here to make sure you aren't the stick in the mud."
  • The resident jokester at his magic circle he practices at and loves to make his fellow mages very agitated since it brings him so much joy. Loving the attention he gets from it, he is constantly trying to make other people laugh and enjoy the same kind of fun loving lifestyle he does. Alternately he is a little bit of a loudmouth and likes to see how the room reacts when he is the center of attention. His actions more often than not make him as such anyway, but when his giddy laughter and childish noises fill the room it just makes it that much harder to ignore the little blighter.​
  • Magic entrances his mind and he is absolutely addicted to learning about whatever versions there are to learn in the world. While his expertise is not vast in the styles of magic he still tends to give his hand at attempting them, making him quite the experimenter. Open to trying anything at least once, he is not one to turn down an invite or an adventure if it means something new could be on the horizon. Especially if that something new would be magic or even treasure which he could use to buy more magic tomes and scrolls.​

Brief Biography:

"If you were surrounded by a bunch of books telling you how awesome magic can be, you'd be excited for it too I'd like to think."
  • Didara was raised among mages in a small magic circle outside of a mining town that used the mages as helpers in moving rocks and providing fires for the lamps during the excavation of coal and metals. Didara himself never participated much as a young man due to his seemingly endless amounts of screw ups as he used his magic more so as a way to just have fun rather than assist in the overall process of assisting the miners. While he was chastised for this in his circle, he saw it as harmless fun as a young man and simply went on about his training to try and learn more about how to conjure up the elements around him as not only a fun past time but a way to help in his pranking ways.
  • By the time he was a young teenager he was still up to his mischievous ways. His favorite little prank was shaping a collection of rocks to the shape of a golem to scare off miners going to their tunnel. While most people would have kicked Didara out, he made up for his pranks by helping around the village more often than he harmed it always making up for making someone the butt of his jokes. He never seemed to be too deep in the red when it came to the village's bad graces as he always moved heavy rocks when he was called upon.
  • At the age of 28 he decided it was time to move on from his village and the circle that raised him in order to broaden his horizons in the world of magic. Already mastering many of the elemental magics that his circle could teach, he knew that his knowledge of further magics would have to be satiated by venturing out into the world. As a traveling mage he became quite a character in the outskirts of the world as the "Prankster in the Crown", the crown being a common headpiece worn by members of his circle back home. His reputation would sometimes hurt his chances of scoring a room in the local tavern, but he was fine with making a home out in the wilds with a few well placed stones and grass. When he was accepted, he made sure to leave an impression for better or for worse. In some spots, he has been given a free cot and meal. Other places, there is a small reward of gold on his head for at least a day's worth of jail time. Naturally he keeps a list of which places do which.



Do they know magic: Yes.

  • As stated prior, Didara is an elemental mage by trade. His focus is of earth magic, which he can use to throw and shape the earth around him into whatever he needs to solve his problems. Typically this includes shaping stone into a wall or a makeshift shield, as well as smoothing it out to make it easier to scale. If he needs to reach a higher or lower part of the land, he can raise and lower small sections of earth to do just that. In combat, he can send rocks flying at his enemy from the sizes of small pebbles just to create a diversion or chest sized boulders to knock someone back. He doesn't do well moving rocks bigger than he is so he is limited in that regard. In desperate times, he can run away and lead his enemies into pit falls he creates with the help of his magic.


Weapons:

  • A golden staff. The staff is mostly used to help focus his magics but it can also be used as a blunt object and the golden mass at the top can pack quite a punch if swung with enough force. Didara however, is not quite physically strong enough to kill a man or creature doing this, so it is typically just used to allow him to create space before using his magic to defeat those who are coming at him.



Skills/Powers:

  • Dead Language Reader: While reading many a different text during his journey, Didara learned how to read many old and dated languages that are around the world. While most would consider this information to be unnecessary he has found it to be quite useful in avoiding old and often unexplored areas of the world that would pose a problem to him by himself. This has sometimes even helped solve mysteries to those he has met on his journeys including the meaning behind a necklace and old tombs. Some of these even led to more magics, which he has documented in his collection he keeps in a satchel on his right hip.​
  • Cheater's wit: Being a traveling mage, Didara has had a difficult amount of time being able to earn enough money to eat and sleep in towns and villages. Because of this he has learned to be quite a devilish gambler and even, though he would deny it through and through, a cheater. In games of dice he has a loaded pair he always keeps on hand as well as a non-loaded so that he doesn't get caught immediately by those he is playing with. His sleight of hand has also been greatly practiced as he can always reach into his sleeve for a helpful king or queen when his hand needs a pick-me-up.​
 
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@LVL1337N00B

Aw, get well soon v-v!

@ERode, @Rax Rosetta, @Bismarck, @Baddamobs, @KageKaioh, @MixedUpGuy (I think this is everyone who submitted a CS xD, poke me if I missed you!)

And nice OCs so far guys! I might be a tad busy until Monday (I've got some school work and etc), but Haru and I are slowly reading through the entries, so expect some feedback sometime soon-ish (Tonight or tomorrow. I already have my comments written down, we just need to synthesize). This'll give you guys a chance to edit some stuff before applications close :)!
 
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Hey, guys! Haru and I read through the character applications, and so far, here's what we think of the OCs. Remember, you guys still have time to change things before the application period comes to a close :D! We're hoping we can pick the final cast and get the OOC and Discord server up sometime early next week. That way, we can fill up some relationship sheets explaining party dynamics and how all our adventurers met, then when all that is done, we can get the IC started.



1. Aesil (@ERode)

We like the idea of having a wilding in the party, Aesil's unfamiliarity with civilization and people from towns and cities could make for some interesting scenes and interaction sequences. (Haru) I do like her savagery, it gives a kind-of cool twist to battling but at the same time her battle style doesn't exactly fit the tone of the RP. It's a nice addition where everyone's swinging and slashing with swords or making things flashy with magic. Good job there. But we feel her skillset is a bit too broad, and to an extent, somewhat overpowered.

The premise of the RP is pretty much this: Small time adventurers getting thrown into an adventure much bigger than them. They're in over their heads and they're trying their darnedest just to survive. I (Fox) would like to keep power levels equal to some extent. That way, everyone will have to rely on teamwork to save the day.

We also have a bit of a problem with Aesil's eating skill and her being a chosen one of sorts from her village. And the fact she can change her hair color. If you wanna revise her a bit, we came up with two suggestions.

  • (Fox) Aesil is a normal forest-dweller who eventually leaves her clan for some reason. (the Goddess would not be included in her backstory anymore though)
  • (Haru) You can keep the clan/tribe motif you're going for but without less, you know, edge. Maybe they still do rituals and all that, but maybe with less of the Goddess thing, it just sounds so out of place. Just turn her into a more savage and less-civilized person and tone down the bloodlust.



2. Angsgar (@Rax Rosetta)

It's nice to have an older character in the party. I (Fox) personally think he'd made a good mentor character of sorts to the rest of the adventurers. I also like how this means we have someone with military experience traveling with our inexperienced dorks (and it makes sense that he has experience as well, considering he's 41), someone to keep people in line and etc. His backstory involving the state mages and the institute is also a neat addition, something we could definitely develop more as the story goes on! (Haru) It's nice to see a magically-experienced character, it'll spice things up a bit, and he actually has a good reason to be so grumpy and/or brooding, I bet has some nice campfire stories to tell the crew.

We just have a few things we'd like you to edit. The thing with these sort of RPs is that if there's too big a gap in power levels, it makes it harder for characters to rely on each other/use teamwork to defeat the baddies. (Haru) It's okay if you want your character to shine and stand out every once in a while, who doesn't? But it becomes problematic when they start snowballing every creature the party comes across, it becomes less about "Team" and more of "I" and that's kind of the thing we have with Angsgar, it's that he's quite powerful compared to everyone else.

If you wanna revise a bit, Haru and I came up with a suggestion for him.

  • (Fox) Nerf his ability to nullify magic because this will make the challenges Haru and I have planned way too easy.



3. Nikolai (@Bismarck)

Cute crusader be cute //shot
(Haru) 2bara4me, plz marry, husbandu material. Would definitely date. Cute but not enough fanservice.

Jokes aside, we think Nikolai's social-awkwardness / need to protect his adventurer fam would be a nice addition to the team. It'd definitely make for interesting character interactions. Overall we like his personality and our main concern with the character is pretty much how powerful he his (similar to Angsgar). (Haru) Really though, he's cute, I like that. There's something about it that I really find endearing, but being bara just isn't enough.

Our main suggestions for Nikolai are:

  • (Fox) I'd rather Nikolai not be one of the last members of a dying order. It gives me "chosen one" vibes to some extent. Haru and I were talking about it, and we'd rather have the order be doing poorly instead of getting wiped out by some big bad Necromancer. (Haru) The whole "Last Member of an Order" thing is a tad trite, it'd be a bit better if they weren't dead and he isn't exactly one of the last members but maybe they're just not doing well. Maybe they're lacking in members and reinforcements, just not dead. Hell, it would even be nice if he can coerce and/or convince the party to take a gander at his Crusade.
  • Similar to Angsgar, we'd like to nerf some of his powers:Either have him focus on defensive or offensive magic. Stick to one.
  • His "Consecration" skill, tone it down. Fox pointed it out in our discussion, 30 ft. is HUGE and makes for a pretty one-sided match. (Fox) I'd say limit it to burning foes who are directly surrounding him, give it some downsides, and if it later becomes an AoE spell, probably something that could lead to friends getting burned as well.
  • Also (Fox) I'm not too fond of the shield glowing when they're about to be attacked. I sounds like it could take some tension away from trying to survive xD. Have it be a normal shield and it's all good.

Otherwise, really looking forward to some Nikolai and Angsgar interaction. A templar and an arcanist haha, this is gun be good. Also Nikolai constantly losing things is adorable.

(Haru) I approve of Crusader Daddy.



4. Ivara (@Baddamobs)

Sorry we don't have much feedback to give, but I think that's a good thing since you won't have to edit anymore xD. Ivara is neat, the character concept is simple and straight to the point, and she's pretty much the underdog, silly adventurer type that we're looking for

Also, magic of punching things really hard is a great spell. *Thumbs up*



5. Silas (@KageKaioh)

Similar to Ivara, we don't have much we want you to edit. Silas' character concept is straightforward enough, and he seems like an endearing character. We'd love to see how he gets along with the rest. Our only problem is that we've already got two rogues who specialize in lockpicking and all that (Yvette and Kaz) and since we have a small party, we'd like for the members to be as diverse as possible.

No worries though, we're not asking you to change your character concept. We do have one suggestion though:

  • (Fox) Maybe have him focus more on his alchemy and sling instead of on lockpicking and thieving. We already have a thief and two lockpickers, but we don't have an alchemist.
  • (Haru) We can't have two, three, four, etc. charming rogues in the party now can we? It's no fun when everyone's pickpocketing each other and one of them decides to go all backstabby. Alchemy is a thing you don't see really often so I'd lessen the Charming Rogue and develop more of the Alchemist.



6. Didara (@MixedUpGuy)

(Fox) I have a feeling he and Angsgar will get along swimmingly *evil cackling*

I think Didara is funny, heh, would be interesting to have him along. My only issue with him is that he can control several elements. Here are some suggestions for him:

  • Pick one element and run with it then develop it more and more over the course of the RP. Or pick one then have a second element he's still struggling with (Closely related to the first one though.)
  • (Haru) This is just really me nitpicking, but looks kinda young and youthful for a 30-year old. Haha, wow, Haru again with the pic nitpcking, I'm sorry I'll stop. I do like the character though, a 31-year old man acting like he's some giggity teenager with his rapscallion antics...But then there's the subject of his powers. Elemental powers are just too...powerful. Sure, you can say he's a Jack of All Trades, Master of None but really now.
  • Also you might want to limit his destructive spells (if you go with fire or lightning mage). Otherwise, he would have been taken away to serve as a state mage (similar to Angsgar). Everything else looks a-okay though.




And we're done xD! Sorry for the long post guys, but you took the time to make great OCs, so it's only fair that we take the time to read them closely as well. Hopefully the comments help!

(Haru) Had a lot of fun reading through these potential, up-and-coming ragtag bunch of adventurers. I'm looking forward to the day they all get to interact with each other, for better or worse. Anyway, we look forward to your revised sheets guys![/HR][/HR][/HR][/HR][/HR][/HR]
 
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Do I still have time to write something up? Still not feeling super well, but now I'm only having periodic headaches instead of a continuous one that makes me want to cry like a baby. I think I could pump something out, and I already have vague ideas for that sibling duo I mentioned.

Also-

"snowballing every creature the party comes across"

Lewd.
 
@LVL1337N00B

Glad you're feeling better ^^! I hope the headache goes away completely though >-<)/

And definitely, xD Haru and I were planning to give you guys a week (max), so no rush if people still want to join.
 
@LVL1337N00B
( ͡° ͜ʖ ͡°)
Time to up the weebshit and/or furshit factor by bringing in the Monster Girls/Boys to give "snowballing" a whole new meaning.
 
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