That Old Rough Copy you want No One to See

[Space Furret]

Here's mine for the first chapter of my novel 'Purpose'.
Okay so, feel free to give feedback. But not on sentence stucture or anything, as I have improved since then.

But I want feedback on the story.
And if you just say 'it's super' I'll thumbs down your post.
Because - that'd be a lie. Share your opinions please!

https://docs.google.com/document/d/1BZnJMSLt21to4feMQB7uUarc-L1le1ojJ_TlZaVAd_E/edit

I am especially wanting to add more realism to the crash / demon attack.
Any ideas will be given a sticker!

WARNING THIS STORY HAS AN ASSHOLE IN IT. HE'S RACIST AND SEXIST.
I CANNOT BE HELD IF YOU WISH TO KICK HIS ASS.
JOIN THE CLUB.

 

[Fijoli]

What would you like to do with this rough draft? do you need someone to edit it? or just feed back on the writing itself?​