Thanks mom...thanks

  • Thread starter Karsikan the Berzerker
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Karsikan the Berzerker

Original poster
Where to start this

I'm writing this at 5:10 PM from my hotel in Baltimore, and in an hour and twenty minutes there's a concert I was going to go to.

Was being the operative word there, to put it simply I was robbed blind, thought there is nothing I can do about it. This isn't the first time it's happened, and it's been just as destructive to me as the last time.

The problem is I share a bank account with my mother, who seems utterly incapable of living within her own means. I thought I had gotten through to her six months ago, when she left me with less then a tenth of my own paycheck a month. I've had several long talks with her over Skype and I thought she had stopped, and became more responsible.

some time and a change in bank account later I'm fine, the old account is untouched save for a small portion of my paycheck I transfer there each month as an emergency/ vacation fund. only thing is when I go on vacation expecting it to be there. it's not, she literally leeched it away from five hundred dollars to seventy six cents.

This creates two very big problems for me, the first is obvious. Her financial vampirism leaves me cripplingly poor at times when I need it most, and due to my profession If I'm in that kind of a situation I can find myself Dishonorably Discharged from the army and pretty much jobless until the day I die, unless I become a drug dealer.

Now here comes the difficult part. I'm seriously debating whether or not to completely cut her off, and send nothing, even if it means she goes homeless, or sit her down face to face and talk with her about it again.
Yeah, I'd try the second option first. But let her know she's on her last life.
I'm with Asmo on this... It's a hard situation, but I think go with the second option, and tell her that you're not bluffing, this is the last time. Last chance.
Yeah, give her 1 more chance and let her know she's taking disadvantage of you. :/ If she does it again, well... Don't let her access the account anymore. You're important too. <3
I'm going the bitchass route. You already had this sit down discussion once with her before. She already knows what sort of situation it puts you in. Cut her off. >:[

Or.. if you're not as heartless as me, you could always mail her money instead of letting her have access to your accounts. >>
A combination.

First, like everyone said, give her the ol' last chance. Talk to her, tell her what's going down.

Second, get yourself another bank account and use that for your emergency funds account. The older account, leave it her whatever allowance you're deciding to help her with, but let her know it's going to be a small allowance, an emergency fund of her own that she must realize that you may indeed use yourself. Set aside small amounts per month; say, $100, and let her know that, if at any moment, if you check that account and find it close to ZERO without some sort of receipt of what she used it for (and it better be for something important), then it's closed. End of story.
I think you could go either Diana or Seji route. Either mail her the money or manage a separate account. Both of those ideas would work, albeit the second account would be easier in the long run. Or should be.
If I was in your situation, I would create another separate safety/vacation account, and deposit something like $20 in to the shared account with your mother every paycheque. Still have that sit down talk with her to let her know that she is on thin ice in regards to the shared account.
Ok thankfully everything got resolved rather painlessly, thanks for the help guys.