Tainted Pen

[Crimson Cowboy]

T A I N T E D ~~ P E N
Poems by Crimson Cowboy

Tainted Pen

As i write i look behind
Constantly in fear.
Paranoia grips my heart,
i hide what i hold dear.
try as they might,
They'll never find
the man behind the pen
For as he writes
he's dead inside
and knows he cannot win
printed facts
are painted black
to which, we all begin
and as i write
i laugh in spite
and grip my
tainted pen



Swallowed

Consumed by long, torn twisted fate.
My endless days are cast.
Into a sea of darkened thoughts
a mind thats painted black.

All within, It's all the end.
I hope thats all, at least
To start again, I'll never win
Shaking, I face the beast

Swallowed whole, by my own thoughts
Swallowed once again.
Swallowed pride, last chance, I lied
Swallowed, lost to sin

A half, last glance, I tempted
Another burnt out night
Looking towards the darkness
Blocked out was the light

I took a chance to seek it
The fate that owns my soul
Another door, I'll take it.
my story must be told

Swallowed like a tiny fish
Swallowed by the whale
Swallowed as I swim for life
Swallowed as I fail.



(more to come)



​

 

[Crimson Cowboy]

Precious Nocturnal

Towards the night, awake I sit.
Do you know her name?
Leaving me in gentle cast
Vowed to never change
So while I stay asleep all day
Peeking through the haze
No one knows the love I have

It leaves the dawn at bay.

 

[Crimson Cowboy]

Off the top

Does anyone know what I really am?
In this hollow shell
Evil in my hand

Bringing with me hatred
Into this life I thrust
Telling me to die
Calling me to lust
Having with me endless
Deeds I've yet to fill
In my heart is chaos
End this, I know I will.

 

[Crimson Cowboy]

Eaten alive

Should I walk alone, I will.
Having none within.
Either that or die from pain
Change, I cannot win.
Heart is scarred
enough to jar
at least there is a hope.
Through my guts
Enough's enough
Dying, I try to cope.

 

[Crimson Cowboy]

Under cooked, I'm raw and limp
My dreams may end like this.
Before I really had a chance, broke, and beat and whipped.
Sometimes I sit alone at night and try to fight the curse.
My reality is a blackened hell, you tell me which is worse

I trust, I lie, I call to arms, I fight the nameless swarms.
I hurt, I cry, I try to charm, I fall to that, I've sworn.

This pressure seems to break my back, but still I pile it on.
I am my curse, so which is worse; This hell -This life-, too long.
Pray to your god I beg you, pray to save my soul.
My life is black and empty
I wish it, with love, was full.

 

[Crimson Cowboy]

I forgot how bad it hurts to feel
I hate you day by day
I forgot how bad it hurts to feel
Inside I'm black and grey
I forgot how bad it hurts to feel
In love we fell somehow
I forgot how bad it hurts to feel
I want a way out now
I forgot how bad it hurts to feel
Please take it all away
I forgot how bad it hurts to feel
I hate you day by day

Paranoid and jealous

This self created hell inflicts, a world in my head exists.
You lie and cheat and rob me blind, with everyone, my back behind.
The time that we may spend apart, I paint a picture black and dark.
No reason have you gave me, still, I dream and want to hurt and kill
This fantasy is not a dream, the reality I made.
When I said I'd give my life, it's the one that I create.
I'm blinded by this fucking pain, I cannot shake the fact.
I'll never know the truth and so I paint the picture black.

At time I rise, but always fall, back in the ways I've made.
Deeply scarred you rip my heart, I pray for an early grave.
Take a trip inside my head, but please don't stay too long
My worst of foes, they'll never know, even them I'd not wish this on.