...In other news it seems that Joker has been apprehended once again by Batman. His operatiosn are shut down and he's returned once more to Arkham Asylum. The streets of Gotham can-- click. The young female in a jester's outfit sighed despondently as she leaned on the counter of her shabby little apartment. "Man, Mista J...why did you have to leave me again!" Harley Quinn sighed as she fell forward onto her counter. Her stomach gave a growl and her cupboards were quite bare. "Ohhh I'm so hungry!" Without the Joker calling the shots, Harley was in a tight spot for cash. Her other accomplice, Poison Ivy, was also in the Asylum with Mista J.
"Well...looks like good ol Harley Quinn is in need of a job!" She said with a groan as she reached for the newspaper and into the classified ads for job listings. Scanning her finger down the page she stopped randomly at a cafe position. Her interest perked as she tilted her head to the side, "A cafe...well...I do like me some coffee and baked goods" Her lips curled into a smile as she tossed her head back and laughed gleefully. Of course the other problem was that Gotham seemed to know her face too well. "Guess...I'll just have to pack up and leave. Good thing this position is in another town anyways" she laughed again. So...it would being.
4 weeks later
Well this was a new life. Once more she found herself struggling to make ends meat, but a little less so. She had a smaller place, some nice jewelry and outfits, and a job at the cafe down the street. Cafe Cafe...odd name but it fit, and they let her wear her usual outfit. Powdering her face, she yawned and went down to work, opening the place up and hopping behind the counter. Another day. She didn't mind it, but MAN it was so BORING there sometimes. She'd put a smile on and make a joke, but everyone was just so...BORING! "Man what I wouldn't give for some excitement! How long until you're out Mista J? I almost can't stand it here anymore!" she muttered again, letting her head fall onto the counter as she laid there and waited for the familiar ding of the door. It came as she remained facedown, "Welcome to cafe cafe....what can I get you sir or ma'am?"
"So YOU'RE teh new girl..." came a baritone voice with smooth undertones of a classy upbringing. "Nice outfit." he smiled. his golden canines glinting in the florescent lighting.
"My my, i really should come to my own cafe more often." he chuckled, deep and full of life. He wore a suite of oddly long length in the coat and upturned styled sleeves. his tophat was also adorned with a cartoony skull bearing a single candycorn on eather side.
It wasn't really what the man had SAID that made her snap to attention, but more of the man's voice. It was quite the stark contrast to the Joker's higher pitched comedic tone. Instead it was a deep baritone that seemed to resonate through the place. Well...it did help that the man had mentioned this was HIS cafe.
"Oh...so ya own the place do ya? How comes you didn't hire me then?! I had to sit in a meeting room with sweaty and baldy over there and he was quite uncomfortable ya get my drift" she said with a waggle of her eyebrows before she sat up straight and stretched, "And ya like?" she gave him a spin to show off the entire outfit, "It's a one of a kind. All the rage where I came from" she let out a laugh before calming, "So do I serve ya or something, mista?" she leaned on the counter as she began to chew a stick of gum, sizing this man up.
"Mister Candy." he said simple, stepping forward "MISTER..." he said, mocking her, leaning down and staring into her eyes directly. " Byron Candy." he smiled.
" I Own the morbid candy company, makers of gruesome and gothic candies for twelve years. a coorporation that stretches into this cafe, beacuse, Miss Quinn, I. LOVE. FCoffe." he said with intensifying quiver in his deepening voice.
Candy took a few paces to the right. " Make me something good. nothing minty, no chocolate." he said, taking off his hat and staring at her. "NOW." he added.
"Mista Candy ya say?" She contemplated the name a moment but there was a faint smile on her lips, "Well...alright then." He was a peculiar individual, and at his love of coffee statement she couldn't help but take a few steps back adn glance at him oddly. However, other than that, he seemed genuine enough. Though he was quite demanding, but somehow...Harley liked that.
Don't get a girl wrong. It's all nice to be in control now and then, but if you can find a man who could order you around without a care in the world. Just like Mista J...oooo it made her loins tingle at the mere thought! At his comment on pleasing him she chuckled again, "Oh, I'm sure I could please ya. I like your style!"
She turned and seemed to almost dance as she prepared him a cup of coffee. If she had skates on, which she didn't today, she would have skated gleefully around. She made do. Mixing this and that she actually just gave him a plain cup of hot joe with extra cream and sugar and a splash of hazelnut. She wasn't a barrista by any means! You don't go from criminal mastermind henchwoman to stupid cafe barrista over night! She hadn't found her groove yet. Quite honestly she was about ready to give up this 'job' life and go back to a life of crime. But without her beloved Joker, she felt so lost!
"Here ya go....enjoy!" she slid the cup over to the man and stat back on her stool, spinning around some, "If ya don't like chocolate why you make sweets, Mista C? Ya mind if I call ya that?" She blew a large bubble with her gum and waited for his response.
"Mr. c works just fine. I like chocolate when it doesnt involve coffee just fine." He said shortly, taking a large gulp of the piping hot liquid with seemingly no ill side effects. Candy then closed his eyes and let the flavors waft. "You look bored, miss quinn... heres my card. come to my office after your shift is over at 6... don't bother changing." he smiled, glancing up and down her form before leavign swiftly, almsot soundlessly.
"Ta ta.." he siad, puttign on his hat. and then he was gone.
The card woudl say to go to the factory on teh edge of town, and the office was up a large elevator with glass windows viewing the simply MASSIVE candy factory... but something was odd. Harley woudl notice people skulking the shadows, and odd smells comign from behind locked doors.
Harley took the card and turned it over a few times in her hands. When he said 6 she simply nodded and watched him go. He was a strange man, almost as strange as the Joker. Naw, no one could top that, could they? She shrugged her shoulders a bit and leaned back in the chair waiting for the next customer to come in.
When her shift came to an end, she followed the directions to the candy factory. As she wandered through she dipped her finger in a vat of chocolate, taking a quick taste in passing, "Yikes! Wow...." she said licking her lips as she headed toward the elevator. She looked out over the never ending factory and i ts strange hunched over workers. IT was a....strange....place, but somehow she liked it. When she noticed the odd smells, she began to feel a bit more uncomfortable, but she kept her thoughts to herself. She'd learned long ago to just not ask questions. She was a follower, not a leader.
She came to a large narrow hallway at the end of the ride and stepped out. The place was...darkly...decorated. However, the empty feeling made her amost excited as she took off down the hall doing cartwheels. Finally she stopped before a door labeled Mr. Candy. She turned her head upward, it was massive! "ooooo fancy!" she said and lifted her hand to knock on the door.
The door opened slowly before her hand hit it and Candy was sitting, 'smoking' on a bubbling pipe as he went througth a large stack of money, bundling it in thousands and literally throwing it into a box labeled "MILK CHOCOLATE WORM TRUFFLES".
"I see you made it, Miss quinn." he said in his stark baritone. " Grab a seat." he said pointing to a plush chair with eh same familiar skull and candy corn insignia as his hat, which was absent.
Harley would be aware of a tingling sensation on her tongue from the chocolate she had consumed. it was moving into the pit of her stomach.
Harley watched as the doors began to open by themselves, her mouth forming in the all to familiar awed O pattern as the same noise came from her mouth, 'ooooo'. Her lips curled into a faint smile as she stepped inside and stopped when that baritone voice spoke out toward her.
"Wow, fancy place ya got here, Mista C!" she said with a cheesy smile as she leaned forward some with her hands behind her back. She had swiped a few more candies on her way up and was trying to hide them. As he told her to grab a seat, she turned her back, and quickly snacked one the candies she'd taken. Sitting down comfortably on the seat she smiled, chocolate smearing her lips a bit. It was then that she began to feel the strange tingling sensation in her mouth and moving toward her stomach. Wriggling a bit, she doubled over and made a face.
"waaa...man so whatcha put in those chocolates? I feel as if worms are crawling around in my stomach!" she made more faces before settling herself, "oh not that it wasn't good! I mean, a girl's gotta love her some chocolate, right Mista C?" she put a smile back on, but the moment he glanced away from her she began to make strange faces again. "Oh and call me Harley, none of that miss Quinn crap! Not even Mista J called me Miss!" she chuckled some and leaned back crossing her legs as she tried to ignore the feeling, "So whatcha call me in for? Am I in trouble or something?"
"mr. J... so you are THE harley Quinn.": he smiled even more, thtrowing the last money in the crate. " Well.. uhm... you.. shouldn't have eaten that... those candies are still under research... and... are... aheh... wow." he chuckeld a little standing up and walking around to her.
" Good good good...So if you didn't already know... there is more goign on here than meets the eye. my coorporation is owned 99 percent by... me!" he laughed, a deep throaty grimace of a chuckle.
The other shareholders arent even aware that theri exorbitant fees are a pay-off. I, and a few grunts are the only ones aware of my schemes... I sell drugs, Miss quinn. the kind that if the CIA, FBI, FDa, or PETA found out about.. well they'd all be outta business, Miss quinn." he spun around, hiting the TV button in the corner on. it flashed a few different products in stages of development. including the wormy things she had just eaten. that picture showed balloons made of complex sugar and protein beign deflated, filled with rock candy, and then dipped in three layers of chocolate to be inflated in the stomach as a practical joke.
"Well I'd hope you own your own corporation" she said with a smirk, "heeeey you know who I am?" she frowned a bit but then thought it over, "second thought, IM FAMOUS!" she smiled once more but became more serious as Candy began to talk more.
Harley watched the candy making with slight fascination, and then held her stomach as it began to gurgle some. Suddenly she let out a loud burp, quickly covering her mouth, "heh oopsies" she said and stood, "wowie...you got quite the corporation going on here! Mista J might be jealous!" she chuckled some and went up to the tv watching each screen with rampant curiosity, "so...where do I come in?" she might seem like she never knew what was going on, but Harley was still very much an intelligent young woman. She walked back over to candy sizing him up, "Are you offering me a new fancy job?" her grin widened.
"Indeed I am. delivery girl for starters. you can bring in a crew from Gotham city if you want, or i can supply the grunts. You deliver my money to my fronts at night, and work my cafe during the day. Anything marked with a red 'X' on the box is cash and you bring it here after your shift. nobody has to know, and nobody has for eight years so far.' he grinned wide and tapped her tummy with his cane.
" Oh, and.. stay away fromt eh experimental candies, miss quinn... inflating doodlebobs are the LEAST of your worries.we also make fetish chocolates under a second name that we sell at adult shops. you see, miss quinn, money is to be had with enterprise. want and need balance out my pocketbook in legality, AND in criminal enterprises." Candy went back to his desk and pulled out some tape while the candy continued to do its thing inside her, he taped the box shut and hefted it onto the chair next to her.
"Your cut comes in a seperate cash advance the day ofter payday at the cafe." he added.
"Enjoy the multicolored bubbles." he said, going back to his business of counting and such, now ignoring her for the most part.
Harley listened to his proposition and her smile slightly grew, "Well...tell you the truth I didn't much like the crew, aside from Mista J, so you can supply and I'll just demand" she chuckled again but then her stomach gave another unsettling gurgle as she burped once more. Multi-colored bubbles came from her mouth as she hiccupped and quickly covered her mouth. Candy continued his speech with that odd grin of his before telling her to enjoy the multicolored bubbles.
She would have responded but every time she opened her mouth she simply burped up more bubbles, so it was kind of pointless. HEr face reflected her slight discomfort as she scowled some and covered her mouth, hiccupping again as she nodded. She gave a backwards wave of understanding as she marched from the room, bubbles following in her wake. She was lead outside again, making faces at those who glanced her way. She wondered how long the bubbles would last, as it was slightly annoying and unsettling.
Wow Mista J...you would really like it here. Maybe you can come partner with Mista C when you get out...if you ever get out that thought made her sigh sadly as she found her way to the exit once more. Well...a delivery girl. Maybe she could deliver some delightful treats to her arch nemesis Batman! She'd love to see him squirm from some of Mista C's candies! This thought cheered her up as she broke into laughter, bubbles spewing forth from her mouth. "Oh bother..." she said stopping as she headed toward her home.
The effects of his candies were legendary in the city. nobody knew were they came from, but from dead beurocrates to hormona teenagers and drug adicts, everyone bowed down to a drug cartel known as the Purple Reign. And at the head, Mr Byron Candy. and the worst part of it all... was that everything was massively addictive.
If Harley wasn't careful, she'd stick her nose in something REALLY bad. But for now, she woudl have peace and quit as a delivery girl. or so she and candy thought.
When Harley got home with the box full of money, she would notice there were those same worm doodlebobs scattered throughout the box.
The delivery job was easy enough. Not quite as exciting at her heists with the Joker, but this was an interesting job all the same. The new crew was a bit...smarter...than her last one as well (which was a welcome fact). When she got back to her apartment, she decided to scan through the 'goods' and see exactly what she might be dealing with.
The products seem...legit. They reminded her of willy wonka items, but instead of just being candy...they actually were much MUCH more. Her eyes scanned over and as she tipped a box some doolebobs scattered to the ground. Her stomach had finally settled down as she glanced at the doodlebobs just sitting there on the ground. Biting her lip she reached her hand forward to pick one up but stopped, "No! Harley...self control!" she said angrily to herself as seh quickly scooped up the items and threw them back in the box closing the lid quickly. "Nope...not going to give in! That was just too weird a sensation even for me!" she cudkled some trying to reassure herself. It worked some. She kicked teh box in the corner and plopped on her couch to count the money she'd made.
"Hey...this aint bad, I have to say. Least I dont have to worry about bat boy dropping in to ruin the fun!" she laughed before stashin gthe money in a safe place and heading off to the bathroom to wash up. When she returned, her eyes drew toward the box in the corner again. What was wrong with her?! Guilty pleasures....couldn't live with them...couldn't live without them!
The next day at work, Harley yawned as she leaned on the counter and continued to wait on customers. Some seemed to appreciate her cheerful disposition and others simply blew her off, in which case she'd just make a rude face at them behind their backs. "buh bai now! Have a good day!" she called after one such customer before muttering various curses at him under her breath. The door rang again as she looked up, "Mista C? Whatcha doing here? Shall I get you the usual?" she smiled and went to fetch his coffee as she leaned on the counter and waited to see what business he had with her today.
"Yes dear, the Usual. how business?" he asked with a grin. when she returned, he gave her a note with lists on it. " Some new products have recently eneded research and design. I was wondering if you'd like to test them out." he said, easily hinting with a wink that this was a front for another job.
Theres a caribbean cruiseliner manager comign in to see them as well, i think he wants exclusive rights to one of my tropical creations." he smiled in that genuinely sincere sort of way that made everyone happy to see. though not a large man, he was most definetely jovial. trick to thsi was simple actually. Byron Candy LOVED what he did. every ounce of it wether coin or chocolate or slightly volatile chemical.
On the paper was a list of new products and a short description
Hard-time taffy ----- long lasting
skullburner drops-----Cinnamon hot!
Snakebite gummies---asour as acid
Maternity malt drops--- Once on the tongue, minutes on the hips
Thunderstorm bar---- zeus woudl be proud
Brain food gum----------- Cram for a test? chew the best!
Citrus squeeze me's----candies for him and her
Spartan candy swords---Play now, snack later!
THese were only a few strange things on the list, but definetely the most noteworthy.
Harley eyed the list carefully, a mischievous grin on her lips as she read down the first part of the list, "Sounds 'tasty'" she said with her usual grin, "I'll be sure to let you know the results" she said with a wink. Leaning on the counter with her head in her hands, "You're also in quite a good mood today Mista C" she giggled some before the door rang and a customer came in.
"How can I help you sir?" she asked in her usual tone. The man was quite large, sort of towering over poor Harley. She blinked a moment with a raised eyebrow, "uh careful where ya sit, deary" she nodded toawrd the small seats and his large rear. She had her usual sarcastic grin on though. The man frowned and grunted some as he chose a seat a few down from Candy. The stools bowed some under his massive weight. Harley turned to get a fresh pot of coffee rolling her eyes some. What a ham! she thought to herself. Turning toward him she put her smile back on.
"What can I get for you sir?" She tried to be polite, but he had a look in his eyes she didn't like. He was breathing heavily as he began to scan the various sweets and desserts in front of him. That glazed look and the ever present slight drool from the corner of his mouth made it hard for Harley to focus. She inched toward him, "You sure you want sweets? perhaps a cup of coffee to--" he growled at her some as she blinked and backed off, "fine fine just saying" she looked at Candy and smiled faintly. Leaning on the counter toward him she whispered, "too bad you don't have some sort of vanishing candy" she smirked and pulled back.
"So what's it going to be toots? One of everything?"
He kept eyeing her which was becoming unsettling and he wouldn't speak, "uh...helloooo?" she waved her hand at him.
"I'll jsut get my own coffe, eh?" Candy said, slippgin behind the bar. " excuse me love." he said, gettign rather close to her and pattign her rump. he slipped something into her pocket at the same time. a littel taffy candy.
"Give this to him." he whispered, rather close to her ear as he poured a regular coffe in a foam cupk. "He'll be quiet for hours." he chuckled a little. warm air blowing on her neck before the doorbell rang gently and he took his leave.
Harley was a bit startled when Candy came up behind her and tapped her rump. She gave a soft squeal before feeling him slip something into her back pocket and whisper to her. She raised a curious brow but kept her smile on as she nodded, "Ah Mista C you've got my back. how sweet!" she replied quietly before taking out the little taffy and adding it to the pastry she'd randomly grabbed for the large goon.
Grabbing a drink for the man she sauntered over and poured him a cup of hot tea first and then slid the plate with the pastry/taffy before him, "Well since you won't talk I'll just--"
"Is that all you're going to give me? That little tiny thing?!" he said in a booming voice, his breath enough to almost knock her over. She blinked a moment and regained herself. Somehow he reminded her of Solomon Grundy. She watched as the man slurped down the tea and scarfed down the small pastry she'd given him. The look told her he was demanding more, but that was about it. She turned and glanced toward Candy with a look that asked 'so what now'
"One whole Doubel strudel pie and a mug of frothing hot chocolate with extra cream is a good start." came the other cafe maid, puttign on her apron quickly. she was half an hour late... again. She did as she had said and the man smiled a little before takign only a little less time eating sloppily, but with manners now that he was being sated. His muscles bulged in his jackets arms, obviously addicted to the stuff candy made, he was still gloriously strong by the look of it.
A few hours later, the crate with Harleys package and th enew candies arrived, and her work shift ended. Byron candy was busy with business of his own though. it seemed someone was caught snooping in his factory, and they had gotten away with a few samples before beatign one of his goons almost to death first.
"Glorious... someones trygint o be a hero." he scoffed, watchign them take the man on a gurney int he ambulance. "Maybe I'll have to pay a visit to Harley afterall tonight... i wonder what she thinks of the new wares." he pondered, sittign at his desk and flipping through his log-book of deliveries and such.