A Misadventure of Crew Jacob and Reggie: Battle of the Pudding
A Tempest and Sarzu Collab
In the hangar, the biker gang tried to look as if they were busy about preparations, but overall, they knew shit about vehicle maintenance. Reggie was the only one out of all of them who could even tell a nut from a bolt and even then she was no mechanic. So for the most part, they tried to look like they were packing there scant belongings as they gossiped about the others in the hangar.
Kim picks between his teeth and articulates with his pistol, pointing in the direction of the blonde hair woman and her sports car. “Isn’t that that Scot?”
“Ay, ay! AIN’T YOU THAT SCOT?!” Reggie shouts over at the woman, hands cupped around her mouth before she snickers, “Yeah, she’s that bloody scot. She shoulda got a real ride. Girl can drive, though.”
Kim nods, sucking through his teeth, “Girl can drive.” He sniffs as he looks over at Trip as she leans over, fiddling through her box of crap. He lets loose a wolf whistle in appreciation and she flips him off, “Oi, a boy has to let a girl know what he wants. Speaking of,” his eyes trail over to Lance, “Kid. Has. Got. To. Act. Someone else is gonna jump on it if he don’t.”
Reggie looks puzzled by his comment before muttering, “Isn’t he just a bit weird, though? I mean, he seems a bit jumpy, to me. Get a pint in him, he seems chill enough, but oi, before he’s just… Odd. Am I the only one who notices this?”
Kim shakes his head as he notices Ahab tearing through the hangar for something, “Oi, Cap’n. What ya doing?”
“WHEEEERE IS IT?! It was that damned Dutchman, wasn’t it! I know it was, I’m gonna show that Dutchie whatfor, I’m tellin’ you!” he roars as he goes clomping towards Jacob and his crew.
While around them everyone seemed to make their final preparations to their vehicles, the crew of the 'Rijdende Hollander' were sitting around a makeshift table playing cards, having finished their last checks earlier and with nothing left to do they had resorted to gambling.
Jasmijn clacked her tongue as she looked at her cards and then looked at the two others before she spoke up. <"So.... why are we going back all the way we came and then possibly go even further when we only just barely got here in one piece?">
Jacob rose a brow and shrugged, "Because we are bored? Also speak English would you, it's rude to those who took us in to speak a language they don't understand." He waggled a finger with his free hand and smirked.
He received a snort in return. "Took age to learn from you. You dork with your.... what is word." She muttered a curse, <"Fuck it, you dork with your ancient 'texts'.">
"Oy, thou shall not take Terry Pratchett in vain. Those books are in my family since the great upheaval. And probably the main reason we kept being taught English by the eldest of the family so we can bloody well understand what the ancient texts say." He looked at the third member of their group. "But for as why we head back... to the Great Tunnel. Well, life is hard, this Eden might be a big scam of nothing but a dream or fantasy but at least it gives us something to do. Besides almost everyone is going so where else are we to go? Kareltje, would you start playing your cards already? Waiting on you." He glared at the smirking Kareltje who seemed rather amused with himself once more.
"Lady, gent, I am afraid I am the winner here." He showed his cards. "Seven aces, five different colours." He laughed as Jasmijn cursed and tossed her cards to the ground and reached for the winnings with a triumphant look in his eyes. But was stopped with a 'tsk, tsk' sound from Jacob.
"Now, now." He showed his own cards. "Five jokers and... the ten of spades."
"Goed gloeiende.... Jij verdome hufter!" Kareltje cursed and muttered as he glared at Jacob. "Why did we decide to make that card the ultimate card again?"
"Because it's the only ten in the entire deck of card Kareltje my friend. Now then I believe all of this is for me?" He smirked and went over the winnings, a pistol clip, and some dried meat and... "Holy cow, Kareltje where the hell did you get a entire bucket of pudding from?" He asked incredulously as he held the bucket just as he heard a commotion from nearby and turned around at fast approaching footsteps.
As the nigh toothless grizzled middle-aged man comes up to the table, his eyes go wide, his head crooks up at an angle and he begins to shake all over. His face contorts with rage as he begins to cry out, spittle flying out, “I knew it! YOU BLOODY BILGE! SCURVY RATS! THIEVING… THINGS! YOU’RE PROBABLY IN IT WITH THEM LAND WHALES, AIN’T YA?!”
Reggie and Kim exchange glances and mouth an ‘ah hell,’ as they run to Ahab. It was too late, though. The self-proclaimed sailor of the sands launches himself towards the table and his precious pudding, a man possessed.
All three of them scrambled out of the way from the table and watched big Ahab launch himself in the air and crash into the already rickety table, collapsing it under his weight as cards and other loose items scatter everywhere. Jasmijn groaning, "Oy, took a- took l- gah took forever to collect!" She said stumbling over the English words.
Kareltje got to his feet and started to awkwardly scamper away while whistling.
Jacob had his arms wrapped around the bucket of pudding as if it was a lifeline and blinked, looking at the older man in the wreckage of their erstwhile table and then at the approaching others. "So.... hello girls, what's up?" He nodded to Ahab, "Has he been drinking too much again and thinks cars are land whales about to swallow him up?"
Kim looks at Jacob deadpan before popping his hip, placing a hand upon it in a feminine manner and flipping a hand back through his long hair, “Honey, I might have a girl’s name, but I am
all man.”
Reggie smooshes his face with her hand, shoving him back that way and earns a splutter, “Eh, haven’t seen him dip into the juice this morning but he’s a sneaky one. He was looking for something.”
Ahab groans and flips over, chewing on a card that had gone into his mouth before spitting it out… The 10 of spades. “Aye, the pirates know bloody well what they did! They stole it! Stole me puddin’!” He sucks his lip in and glares up at Jacob, jaw quivering with fury at the sight of his pudding cradled so.
Jacob rose a eyebrow, "First off, you... are a very feminine man and I still regret hitting on you on the first day we were introduced but it was dark, we all had some beers and then things got blurry and we woke up among the sheep in the hills in our underwear... but none of that at the moment."
He slowly and carefully looked Ahab in the eyes. "I am going to lower this, I mean your bucket of pudding to the ground now, no need for violence, harpooning or otherwise hurting anyone. Ok?" He was saying as he lowered the bucket to the ground, let go of it and took a step back with hands outstretched and open. "Kareltje if you run I will hunt you down."
Kareltje froze mid-step and let out a nervous laugh, shuffling his feet and looking at them to avoid looking anyone in the eye.
Jacob sighed and pinched the bridge of his nose. "Jij kleptomaan...." He snorts, "Sorry about that, seems Kareltje here could not resist the sirens call of pudding, even if it clearly did not belong to him." Kareltje again let out a nervous laugh and looked away at Jacob's glare that was send his before the Dutch leader looked at Reggie with a smile. "But it's all good, the bucket seems to be sealed still, no harm done, right?"
Reggie nods at Jacob, “Yeah. No harm, no foul. Ahab just… Takes his pudding very seriously. All 144 ounces.”
Even as she says that, though, Ahab points at Kareltje, making biting gestures with his mouth and hisses, “Gonna gnaw your ankles off, dough boy.” He points two split fingers at his eyes and then at the plump Dutch man before he scurries to the pudding and clutches it to his chest, getting up. He pets it and mutters softly to it, “Shh, shh, ain’t none of them gonna get chu, my precious.”
Kim, who had been pouting, looking wounded at Jacob’s words, looks at Ahab. “We better keep a better eye on him on this trip… Petrol forbid he puff his chest up to them crazy kuh-nig-uhts.”
Jasmijn growled, rolling up her sleeves and glared at Kareltje, "No worries, I will deal with my husband, my way." She marched to him and he already started to protest but was cut off as she yanked him by the ear and dragged him towards the Impala, a whole tirade in Dutch coming from her lips that made Jacob blush for a moment and look away awkwardly.
"Right.... yeah he will be punished, no worries about that." He then snickered. "Also which knights, the one out there that might harass us, or the ones traveling with us?" He laughed again, still finding it amusing to see those clowns in makeshift armour looking like knights of ancient times. Granted he didn't laugh with them present and had to admit they would probably save his ass on the journey to come, but they definitely needed a better look. He looked back at Reggie, scratching his beard, "On that note. What do you expect out of this journey, if I may ask?"
Reggie scratches through her mussed hair, tapping the toes of a foot behind her as she thought, “Eh, I thought there was better out there when I brought my band around this way. Sure, they’re a fair lot of who make up what’s staying put right here now, but still… Even if there isn’t some Eden, there’s got to be some people out there who have their shit figured out better than us.”
"Dear god I hope not!" Jacob said while off to the side the sound of slapping could be heard, Jasmijn had Kareltje over her knee and was spanking him on his ass, still cursing at him while the plump man whimpered and cried. Jacob ignored it and just continued, smirking. "If there are people out there with their shit figured out then they take one look at us, go 'nope' and shoot us." He said in a joking manner before he got a bit serious, "Ah well. Yeah I can relate to that. We just got around here because... well back in dutchieland we had no home left so we wandered." He spread his arms and gestured around, "And look where we ended up, in a convoy heading for the unknown. Sounds almost like one of dem legends you hear around a campfire. Let's just hope we don't end up dead like most of them heroes do in those tales."
“Let’s hope it’s not by that… Bard? Bard, that the knights keep around for some insane reason. Bastard has a voice of a spluttering engine about to seize up,” she snorts.
"Yeah.... I asked one of them knights what his real purpose was, apparently its emergency rations and I could not tell if he was joking or not when he told me." He shook his head and chuckled, "Ah well. Time will tell if it's a joke or not. Now then that the... pudding crisis is resolved." He reached out his arm all proper and courtly to Reggie. "May I guide thee back to thy steeds for I think we shall commence on our journey very soon."
“Yes, thank you lord Jacob of Dutchlandia,” she takes his arm and puffs herself all proud and tries to look like a courtly woman, “Let us be on our way, there is something foul about the air here now.”
Ahab pipes up from nearby, “Ah, ‘scuse me.”[/hr]