Yetmorecrazyneedlesslycomplicatedrulesthatprobablywon'tworkbutIhavetoexorcizemydemonskkthxbye STEP ONE: Set the players up in a plot. e.g. You is stuck in city overrun by teh zombies lol. STEP TWO: Each week of the roleplay, the GM rolls a dice. This determines the severity of the encounter which the GM must describe. e.g. *GM rolls a 4.* "Er... about ten zombies appear and shit, and they like.. wanna eat yer brains... kay?" STEP THREE: Players start the game with 6 cards, ranked 1 to 6. These represent their equipment or abilities. e.g. Bob: Card 1, running like a girl. Card 2, bitch-slap. Card 3, Mace in your face! Card 4, I haz a gun. Card 5, grenade! Card 6, Oooh, a fire truck! STEP FOUR: Players must use their cards to react to the encounter, playing enough between them to beat the threat rating. They can choose to "pass", i.e. play no cards, in which case they must post themselves getting beaten down/injured/overwhelmed. The same goes if they have no cards to play. e.g. Bob maces the zombie (2 points). Georgina Cutthlebutt uses a fire axe (1 point). Reggie the Cockslapper deploys his explosive dildo (3 points). STEP FIVE: If the players do not manage to beat the threat rating by the end of the week, the player who used the lowest card (or didn't post) gets killed. e.g. "You didn't play enough cards you douchebags, now Wendy gets her boobs ripped off. Lol I is awesum GM" STEP SIX: If the players beat the threat rating, the encounter ends and they make it to a "safehouse" - i.e. a location or scene where the characters are safe for now. e.g. "Thank God we maced that Zombie till he ran away crying. Oh hey, a flower shop. Let's hide there." STEP SEVEN: The players must then "reload" their cards through roleplaying and character development, like so: REACTION POST (restore 1 point): "Oh man", said Bob, "That shizzle was totally whack. This shit got real, don't it?" SAFEHOUSE SECURING (restore 2 points): Tarquin checked the back door was locked and pushed a box in front of it. He had always been clever. PLAN POST (restore 3 points): Pedro got out his map and shone the flashlight over it. "Damn," he growled in his raspy growly voice, "Looks like our route to the hospital is cut off. We'll have to take a shortcut through Notatrap Boulevard." AID AND ASSIST (restore 4 points): "Hey, are you okay?" said Wendy as she went and touched Maximillan Von Stoopenheim on the shoulder, her eyelids fluttering on the heartstruck verge of cyan tears as she bemoaned before her the reflection of her departed father who with his sacrifice bought her the precious moments of her purgatorial lingering in this all too cruel and fleeting world. DRAMATIC INTERACTION (restore 5 points): "You left her behind!" screamed Dorothy, as she sobbed and punched at Jeremiah's chest. "My own sister! How could you?! We should've gone back for her! She was only two days away from retirement! She had a puppy! You bastard!" Dorothy collapsed against the wall, refusing to go on unless Jeremiah could assure that he had done everything he could. FLASHBACK/FORWARD (restore 6 points): As the others settled down for the night, Sergeant Adams sat by the window and smoked a cigar. In some ways it was like being back in Iraq, all those years ago, only this time he didn't have his buddies with him. He wondered what old Tex would've made of all this. Tex had been a sniper, and he taught Adams that, ultimately, in this life, we are all alone, and it's best to be the one pulling the trigger than the poor sucker in the sights. As the Sergeant watched the abandoned city through the haze of smoke, he felt that God had well and truly put him in the crosshairs. He had to get these people out of here. They were his unit now... his boys... the only thing he had left.